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  • Writer's pictureDieting From The Inside Out

Overcoming Trauma, Letting Go of Perfectionism, & Doing What's Hard with Tia & Grant | DFIO Ep.283




About Today’s Episode:

Welcome back to the show! I have a really heavy, really deep episode for you guys today. You are going to meet an amazing human in this episode—and her transformation is the epitome of dieting from the inside out.


So today you guys are going to hear from Tia, and as I said, her story is just incredible. I know it’s going to be really inspiring to you guys.


I don’t want to give too much away, so I really encourage you to stick around for the whole thing. I know you’ll get a ton out of it.


Let’s dive in!


TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Intro & About Today’s Episode

01:59 Our Sponsors

05:50 Tia’s Story

25:11 Where Tia is at Now

31:43 What Made The Biggest Difference for Tia

41:28 Why Tia Signed Up For Coaching

51:02 Why Tia Has Been So Successful

01:05:32 Outro—Freebies & How to Apply for Coaching

Transcript (click to expand)

Tia’s Story:

Tia grew up in an abusive household as a child and was a victim of mental, physical, and sexual abuse. Throughout her childhood, the only things she “knew” about herself were negative.


As she got older, Tia had a very distorted body image and remembers wanting to look and feel a certain way.


Then, at the age of 16, Tia became pregnant—which further distorted her body image as she was unprepared to deal with the physical changes pregnancy required.


During her pregnancy, negative comments from kids at school made her mentality around food even worse and Tia subconsciously struggled to eat appropriate amounts while pregnant.


After giving birth, Tia was busy trying to balance work, school, and taking care of her newborn—and food was not a priority. She didn’t know anything about taking care of her body or nutrition.


After going to college, Tia weighed about 109 pounds, but her lack of nutritional knowledge—and busy life as a single mom—led to her gaining 25 lbs.


Fast forward to 2020, Tia was in college and had gotten into fitness, but this is where confusion really set in for Tia. She was over-exercising and undereating—and not losing weight.


During this time, Tia got engaged and her fiancé expressed concern for her because she was frequently not eating and had labels such as “good food,” and “bad food.”


After her fiancé was deployed, Tia moved in with her grandmother—who also expressed concern about her not eating.


Tia’s grandmother pointed out that whenever Tia was going through something, she would stop eating.


After hearing the concerns of her family, Tia did try to start working on herself more—but she still struggled mentally with food and wanting to eat, and just really didn’t know what she was doing or how to eat.


Then, after hearing a previous episode of the podcast with Stephanie Armstrong and Coach Grant (Episode 252), Tia decided to pursue coaching—but with some hesitation.


For Tia, she wasn’t overweight, and she wasn’t sure if dieting from the inside out was something that would work for her.



Where Tia is at Now:

Tia is in a better place than ever before—particularly mentally—but she is still not yet where she wants to be.


When she started coaching, she had an idea about where she believed she wanted to be, and put up some resistance to doing the metal work—particularly journaling.


After a few weeks of Grant insisting that she needed to journal, Tia finally started to put in effort around journaling, and the first great week she had…


…was one where she journaled for all 7 days.


Today, Tia almost feels bad during her check-ins with Grant because she really has nothing to report.


She is doing the inner work, she’s taking care of her mental game, and she’s feeling great.


As a coach, Grant says this is the place they want to get with all of their clients.


Jared emphasizes that the goal is to see the clients graduate from the program and be able to sustain their changes for life.


Some clients need just 6 months, others may take a couple of years—it’s completely individualized to each person and their situation.


Tia is graduating from the coaching program and initially had some nerves about going off on her own, but she realizes that she is ready to transition out of coaching.



What Made The Biggest Difference for Tia:

Tia says, first and foremost, she had to trust Grant.


Her resistance to journaling is a great example.


In the beginning, she didn’t want to journal—and didn’t believe or trust Grant when he said she needed to journal—but when she finally did, everything began to change.


This is when she realized she needed to really trust Grant and follow his guidance.


Secondly, Tia had to trust herself—which was a big hurdle.


Tia hated herself six months ago. She knew how she was supposed to feel and what she was supposed to say about herself—that she loved herself and was a “good person”—but deep down, she didn’t believe it.


When Grant suggested Tia do identity work, and told her that she could decide who she wanted to be, Tia took that to heart and dove into changing her identity.


Previously, Tia struggled to show up for herself because she considered herself a nuisance to the world, but part of her new identity was loving herself. When she had negative thoughts about herself, she would stop and remind herself that she wasn’t that person—and that she needed to stop being mean to herself.


Tia is still changing her identity and is now trying to tackle her perfectionism.


In school, health, being a mom, every area, Tia would beat herself up for being anything less than perfect.


If she got a B on a paper, she would tear herself apart.


She had to stop and define what success and failure meant for herself.


Tia realized that she was extremely busy juggling work, school, being a single mom, planning a wedding—she had to learn that skipping a workout when she needed to or not weighing herself one morning wasn’t a failure.



Why Tia Signed Up For Coaching:

Tia made the leap because she was fed up with herself.


She was completely hurt and broken and she as though she had no other options.


Tia also wanted to get herself in a good place so she could be a good role model for her daughter, who she knew was at risk of learning disordered eating patterns from her.


Even though Tia was extremely busy, she knew that she couldn’t let her daughter grow up in a toxic world and that now was the time—because if she could do this when things were crazy, she could do this when things were calm.


Another hesitation Tia had surrounding coaching: she has had no other option than to be extremely financially responsible since she was 16.


Like anyone, Tia would (and does) spend money on fun or dumb things, and she recognizes that it can be a positive thing to spend money to go out and have fun with friends or to buy yourself something nice—but where you spend your money is a reflection of your priorities and she knew her mental health needed to be a priority.


She also knew that if she made the investment, she would take it seriously.


Tia knew Jared had free content and saw his free content, but spending that money provided her with a backbone any time she wanted to quit coaching along the way.



Why Tia Has Been So Successful:

Grant believes that Tia has been so successful because she really did the work—and found her footing in the struggles.


As Tia stated previously, identity work was key to her success, and ultimately, Tia never shied away from the uncomfortable inner work—she followed through.


Tia notes that so much of what she has learned from throughout the process has carried over into other areas of her life.


Inner child work, especially, has helped her so much in other areas of her life—because she didn’t realize she was still hurting.


Now, the abuse she suffered from as a child is no longer holding her back and the old beliefs she carried are no longer preventing her from trying new things or taking care of herself.


Grant has found that we make the most progress when we are the most uncomfortable.


Through coaching, Tia had to get comfortable being vulnerable and being completely honest with Grant.


Grant would call her out when he needed to and helped her realize that her emotions mattered—which allowed Tia to forgive herself, her parents, and others for the experiences she had as a child.



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