How to Succeed During the TOUGHEST Months of the Year (a Q4 wake-up call) | DFIO Ep.286
About Today’s Episode:
Welcome back to the show! I'm PUMPED that you're here. Today is a solo episode, but it’s gonna be a good one—this is your Q4 wake-up call!
For this episode, I reached out to my team and asked them, “What are people struggling with right now? What do people need to hear?”
There was a pretty consistent consensus, and what was needed was a wake-up call about how we’re coming up on some of the hardest times to navigate during the year—especially when it comes to making progress in your weight loss goals.
A lot of people hit the final quarter of the year, lose their progress, and find themselves back at square one—and they keep repeating the cycle.
So that's what we're talking about today: how to break the cycle, how to stop it from happening again, and how to make the final three months of the year the best ever and really set yourself up for success heading into 2024.
Let’s get into it!
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Intro & About Today’s Episode
01:34 Sponsors
04:05 Recognize the Pattern
19:56 What to do Now
21:07 #1 Reflect & Audit
24:04 #2 What’s the Goal Now?
25:50 #3 What’s The Plan?
29:04 Focus Area: Remove Expectation
31:09 #4 Follow Through on the Plan
34:29 Recap
34:51 Outro—Freebies & How to Apply for Coaching
Transcript (click to expand)
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How to Succeed During the TOUGHEST Months of the Year (a Q4 wake-up call) | DFIO Ep.286
0:00:00.0 Jared Hamilton: I want you to show up with zero expectation of outcomes. I would bet you've probably never done that before, or it's been a long time since you've done that, where you showed up and executed for yourself and removed expectation of weight loss, of looking better, of feeling better, of anything, just showing up, and believing that when the result is ready, it will come. I'm telling you, when you do that, you'll get the fastest, best results with the least amount of friction you've ever received. And it's the best thing ever.
0:00:27.7 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, friends? Welcome back to another episode of Dieting From The Inside Out. And I'm so excited you're here. If you're new around the block, my name is Jared Hamilton and I am your host, and I'm pumped that you're here. This is a solo episode today, so no guests with me, but this is going to be a good episode we're talking about. This is I don't even know what we're going to title the show yet, but I was sitting thinking like, what do I want to talk about? What do I feel like people need to hear right now? And I reached out to my team as well like my coaches and some of my other staff. I'm like, well, what are people struggling with right now? What do people need to hear? And there was a pretty consistent consensus. And we're going to have a Q4 wake-up call about how this is some of the hardest times during the year, not just for a lot of people, but especially when it comes to making progress into losing more weight or at least not regaining all of your weight and just moving forward. This is where a lot of people going into the the final quarter of the year, they lose everything and they go back to square one and they repeat the cycle.
0:01:21.1 Jared Hamilton: So that's what we're talking about today and how to break it and how to stop it, and how to make Q4, quarter four of the year, the final three months of the year the best ever, and how to really set yourself up for success going into 2024. So that's what we're going to get into. But before we get into all the goods, massive thank you to the sponsors of the show. Sponsor number one, FlexPro Meals, because it just makes life easier for everyone. A lot of people say they want their... They want to not think about their food. They want to think about this stuff as little as possible. And I get it. I think, to be honest, there's a level of it, we should be able to think about food without letting it encompass us. We got a lot of content on the show about that. But if you're in the camp of I want to think as little about this shit as possible, the only way to do that is get it literally arrived to your door where it's all made ready to go and you just eat it. So if that's your cup of tea or you just run on convenience a lot, or you're always doing things, taking to the kids to dance or soccer or working overtime or you're a student or whatever's going on, it just makes it really easy for one less thing to think about is your meals.
0:02:16.5 Jared Hamilton: So, or at least having a handful of them on deck, even if you're still making your normal food. So FlexPro has been huge for me. I love working with them and I love their actual product it's... I had one of their meals today. I was between meetings or between projects and I just wanted to run to the house, pop a meal in and eat it and be on my way. And I'm right in line with everything. So if that's your cup of tea, definitely check them out. Either go to flexpromeals.com or go to the link below, wherever it's at and use my code HamiltonTrained and it will save you like 20% at checkout 'cause it's already like cheaper than a drive through, but this will just even help that. So definitely check them out. Sponsor number two. Excuse me, got a little tickle in my throat, I guess right now. Sponsor number two is 1st Phorm. We all know supplements are not everything. They are not the end all, be all. I hate it when coaches or influencers or whatever just push supplements like crazy and I never want to be that. I think like I'm talking about here is they have their time and their place, they are meant to supplement, but they should not be your main everything.
0:03:13.0 Jared Hamilton: If you're getting, the truth is, if you're getting everything you need from food, you don't need them, you don't need all this stuff. But at the end of the day, if you're not getting what you need from food, like if you're not getting enough protein, you're not getting enough things, like your omegas, like from fish oils and things like that, if you're not getting enough energy if you're not getting enough micronutrients, like your vitamins and minerals. If you're not getting all the stuff you need, that's when we supplement. It should not, again, be the overarching thing. You should not be spending more money on supplements than you do on groceries and things like that. But it's ridiculous how big of a difference when all these holes get filled, so to speak, whether it be something just like protein, whether it be something like a creatine that helps recovery or something like a multivitamin because you may be deficient in something, things like that. So if that's your cup of tea and you want to see what they have going on or how to upgrade some of what you're taking, definitely go check out the link below. There's a free shipping deal going on I believe. Otherwise, that is it for the sponsors. And now let's get into the Q4. Let's get into all this.
0:04:11.3 Jared Hamilton: Now, I did make some notes. So if you're watching the YouTube video, which you should be, if you see me looking away, it's 'cause I'm trying to keep on pace 'cause I actually made way more notes than I normally do. Excuse me, but here's the truth. Q4, quarter four the last... I know we're like a little over three months left in the year, but I think this premise will ring true, like, once we officially are and to be honest, even if you're listening to this, let's say in eight months from now or in two months from now, it doesn't really matter. Anytime you need to get your shit together this is... I want you to go through the same thought process that I'm going to be teaching you today, okay. 'Cause but right now, we're in Q... We're going into Q4. We're going into the final three months of the year, and a lot is going on right now. Right now, like I said, influencers are pushing diet culture really, really hard right now. You're hearing a lot of the don't eat sugar, just skip all this workout, go to the gym, extra, burn off the extra calories, avoid, take your meal prep stuff to Grandma's for Thanksgiving, all of these things. So you see, that being pushed really hard right now. Most people are about to lose all of their progress.
0:05:17.3 Jared Hamilton: You may be in the camp I don't know, there's a lot of people listening to the show, but you may be in the camp off, have been doing well for a while, or you've been finally making the progress. But just going into the next three months, you've got Halloween right around the corner. Then you have Thanksgiving right after that. Then you have Christmas right after that. Then you have New Year's right after that. And then depending, you may have other stuff between all of that, you may be have several Thanksgivings to go to, several Christmases to go to, several Halloween parties to go to, your kids trick-or-treating, fall stuff, whether you're going to the hay rides and the pumpkin carvings and all of that stuff. There's a lot of shit that goes on in the next three, three and a half, four months of the year. And most people go this, I just don't know how I'm going to do this. And then the belief shifts, right. If you notice this is, before we sabotage, we drift. Before we drift, we have a belief change.
0:06:13.3 Jared Hamilton: We start to think, I don't know if I can maintain this. I don't know if I've got what it takes. I don't know if I should even try. And then all of a sudden, our actions become congruent with the false belief, and that's when everybody goes downhill. But if you take a second and zoom out, take a step back. Does this happen every year? Here's the thing. One of the most... One of the biggest assets I just wrote about this to my email list today. One of the biggest assets that you have. If you're trying to change your life, if you're just trying to get 10, 20, 30 pounds off or whatever the case is, one of your biggest assets is self awareness and pattern recognition. Self awareness and pattern recognition about yourself. Because if you're about to fall off, if that's what, if you zoom out and go, well, is that what stereo typically happens every year? I talk about it in, with our clients and inside my 180 academy course when it comes to sabotage, zoom out. What happens every time? Sabotage leaves a paper trail. What happens every single time you fall off? You fuck up, you lose it...
0:07:12.4 Jared Hamilton: You drift, you gain your weight. Back over the last five or six years, what's happened over the last 10 diets you've tried, what's happened? And you'll find some common denominators around what has been happening, and then we can prepare accordingly for that. So I would say what happens every time you go into Q4, the final quarter of the year, we're getting ready to go into Halloween candy everywhere. And most people say, oh, I can't control myself, so I avoid it, then I binge on the whole cauldron of candy. And then you try to get back on track, and then all of a sudden, Thanksgiving shenanigans are right around the corner, and it's like, Ah, fuck. You know what? I'll just get started after Thanksgiving. And then you have like four Thanksgivings to go to 'cause you have yours you're hosting, and you have your mom's or your dad's or your grandma's or your grandpa's or your friendsgiving. And then it's like, oh, well, maybe I don't think I can get my shit together during this because I've got one... I've got like four Thanksgivings over the next three weeks.
0:08:00.7 Jared Hamilton: And then you get to the end of that, and it's like, fuck, I'm getting ready to go into now, we're getting ready to go into, like, Christmas party season and all the Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day. You've got, you're traveling to see family. You're buying gifts, money's all over the place. You're driving everywhere. You may be hopping on flights. You're bouncing all over the place. Your focus is extremely diverted, and the last thing it makes it hard to think about is, like, your weight loss stuff. So it's easy to just go, you know what...
0:08:28.4 Jared Hamilton: I'm going to just get started over it, at the new year. I'll be motivated. I'll be fired up, because this year is going to be different. So then most people, because they view of their life having to change on January 1, the big switch, and then they're... So they're making up for lost time. Like, well, I know I'm going to restrict.
0:08:44.4 Jared Hamilton: I know I'm not going able to have all these things, so I'm going to binge eat now. I'm going to eat everything now. I'm going to go off the deep and get it out of my system now, because starting January 1, I'm resetting. It's going to be the new me. I'm not going to do this stuff. And then January 1 rolls around and most people are hungover because they just partied all night on New Year's Eve. And then you realize you're not a new you. You're just, it's the normal you. And it's like, you know what? I think I'll get started in a week 'cause things are crazy. We still have the Christmas food. We still have all the alcohol. We still have all the things. I have this event coming up. I'll just wait till whatever. I think this last January it was, let me look real quick. This last, the last year, I made a post on it because I just thought it was ironic. So last January, it was a Wednesday. So January, no, no hang on. December, January. January 1st was on a Sunday. Yeah, it was on a Sunday. So most people's New Year New Me started with a start over Monday. 'Cause January 1 was Sunday. Was a Sunday. And then most people get to that January 1 and they're like, Ah, fuck. You know what? Things aren't crazy.
0:09:44.7 Jared Hamilton: It's the middle of the week. I'm going to just get started on Monday. Then your pattern is the exact same. I know. I don't mean to sound long-winded, but I really hope what I'm saying is making you go, fuck, that's me. That feels familiar. That's how it always goes. To be honest, when I'm creating this content and I'm teaching, trying to teach and change your life and help you, I want this to literally feel like I'm speaking to just you to like, fuck is he, like, watching me? Because this is the thing. Because I want you to change this. And it doesn't have to be this crazy, all encompassing thing. This is why we're... This podcast is the Q4 wake-up call. Because if this is your pattern that happens year after year, after year, after year, this is a problem. And every time we continue on down a pattern, it gets stronger. Think of it this way. Think of, when you fall in line to your patterns and you continue following the same road and getting the same bad results and the same bad actions and the same bad results and all the things that's actually a skill set you're getting really good at.
0:10:52.4 Jared Hamilton: Like, if you always gain your weight back, it's not that just that you're gaining weight. You're getting really good at gaining your weight. If you're always falling off. It's not that you're just like falling off. You're getting really good at falling off. If you always are starting over Monday, you don't just put things on hold and are doing not so great things. You're getting really skilled at starting over Monday. Think of it. If I practice guitar for a year, I'm going to get better at guitar. If I'm like, okay, I'm going to practice and work on this consistently. I will go from sounding really shitty at guitar to getting better at guitar. Well, that works for any habit. If you're always falling off, you're getting really good at falling off. But the problem is what happens over time of getting really good at a habit. You become skilled in it, then you become a master in it. Think about like, I don't really listen to his music, but when I think of really good guitar playing, I think of Jimi Hendrix. That's just a guy that's had a lot of time with a lot of reps practicing a skill set of playing guitar.
0:11:50.4 Jared Hamilton: Well what if he did bad habits instead? Then he's just going to get that level of mastery and skill over something that's not serving him. I made a post the other day about how I just hit my five year mark in Jiu-Jitsu, and I didn't, it felt like that time went by like that and I'm, and I just... It was this big thing, and I was making the correlation that what if I didn't get started? What if five years ago... Actually I think one of the last solo episodes was on this, and the whole, I'm not going to rehash the whole thing, but the whole concept is, what if I waited and then I had people DMing me. They're like, dude, I remember when you started, and I'm still struggling with my weight five years later. Because if you have been, let's say, starting over Monday for the last five years that means you would have started over a little over 260 times. But I had people hitting me up. They're like, Jared, I remember when you started. I've been following you for five years, and I'm still in the same place. I'm actually heavier than when I was five years ago. Because you have to understand, you're just not holding yourself back.
0:12:50.1 Jared Hamilton: You are getting active reps with the thing that is holding you back. If every year you do this pattern where Q4 hits and you fall off and you say, I must get started over January, you take your foot off the brakes or you're always starting over Monday, or you're always gaining your weight back or whatever the case is, you're not just making it harder on yourself and getting negative momentum. You are getting really skilled at the one thing you don't want. This is why most people don't take it seriously enough. When people are like, I'll start over Monday, most people don't. They're not actually convinced they're doing damage. They're convinced that they're just, like, holding steady and they can just start over in a few days. But the problem is what happens when that's five years later. 'Cause the mind you have to understand your mind and nervous system crave what's most familiar. So if you're more familiar with failure, failure is going to feel like home. If you're more familiar with weight gain versus weight loss, guess what feels really familiar, and you drift to subconsciously weight gain.
0:13:47.5 Jared Hamilton: Do you see where... I'm hoping this is aligning for you. And you're like, holy shit. So here's the thing. The only way we fix it is we have to get out of the pattern. The best way to gain power over your subconscious patterns is realize you're in the pattern. Now you're separate from it. Your point of view changes when you are in a subconscious pattern. You don't even realize you're doing it. Like, I have a pattern of talking with my hands, as you guys, I'm sure, can tell, or I say, um, a lot. Case in point one of the habits... I don't know if I'm doing very good at it. I've been trying to do a lot better with is saying the words, um, in like, way less. I had a mentor of mine, you guys have seen him he's been on the show a couple times is Nick Ross. Nick was helping me with some stuff 'cause Nick is a person who means a lot to me, and he's... He helps me a lot. And we were looking at one of my pieces of content in some stuff that I was working on in business, and he said, Can I give you some constructive feedback? And I go, Please. And he goes, you've got to stop saying "like" so much.
0:14:47.8 Jared Hamilton: He goes, he says, you just got to quit saying "like" and some of these filler words so much. I know it's easy to get excited and to get rushed, but a lot of times we end up shooting ourselves in the foot. I just said it again. Well, I didn't know I said like so much 'cause it was a subconscious pattern. I would get nervous or I wouldn't know what to say, or I don't like dramatic pauses or things like that. And I would say like, all the time. And I don't enjoy listening to people who say like, all the time. But then I found out with Nick said, he goes, man, you say like, an awful lot. And I go, oh, shit. So I've been working on that. I hope it's been getting better, but I didn't realize that was happening. So when Nick pointed it out, what happens is he pointed out a subconscious pattern. Well, then I realized that's the pattern. It's not me, it's the pattern. I'm aware now of how much I say like, so now it's getting slowly better. You see where I'm going, getting, going, do you see where I'm going with this?
0:15:47.5 Jared Hamilton: It's the same thing for you, you can't... As I think it's Joe Dispenza says it best. You can't escape a jail you don't know you're trapped in. So if you don't realize you're in a pattern, you're just in the position of, I don't know why I can't get my shit together. I'm doing everything right, but it's not working. I'm doing all the things, but I always fail. I always gain my weight back. It's because it's the pattern that's the problem. And you don't realize you're trapped in a pattern. And most of you are trapped in the Q4 pattern that's about to happen, where you're about to take your foot off the gas, you're about to gain all your weight back, you're about to keep struggling, and you're about to start over in January. Whereas you, three months from now, of course, you're not going to have a crazy transformation in three months. The whole 90 day New Year, the whole 90 day transformation, it takes a long time to change your life. But fuck, you can have a whole lot of progress made in 90 days. You can have some crazy momentum in 90 days. You can be seeing progress in 90 days. But imagine this. Imagine when all your friends are getting started in January, and they're like, New Year, New Me.
0:16:42.0 Jared Hamilton: And you're like, I've been doing this for the last three months. You see what I mean? So this is why it's so important to get into this stuff. So I'm hoping this is setting the precedence. I know I got off on a little bit of a tangent, but otherwise, right now, not only are like I said, influencers are pushing diet culture harder, most people are losing all their progress. Most people are about to get the busiest ever, and life is about to get the most inconvenient, which I think a lot of you guys may be sitting there going, well, fuck, how do I keep my shit together? But I'm sitting here thinking, man, you have a gift that's about to really help you if you use it right. Because this is also the reason why going into Q4 is one, our favorite... From like, the coaching business side of things it's our favorite time to take on clients, and it's where you can make yourself bulletproof. Here's what I mean by that. A lot of, This is why so much of this game comes down to the meanings you associate with hard times. A lot of you that are struggling looking into Q4, you're like, Fuck, you're right. I didn't think about how much travel, how much holidays, how much food, how much bullshit, how much all the things you're right.
0:17:45.1 Jared Hamilton: And if you view it as nothing but a thing that's going to make you fail, you're probably going to fail. But if you look at this from a point of view of, this could literally make me bulletproof. If I can get my shit together and weather the storm that's about to go down in the next three months and not lose my feet, not give up, not fail, not sabotage, then I will be untouchable. And that's exactly what happens. This is why, again, it's one of my favorite times to take on clients, is right now going into the holidays. Because, one, most people need the support. Like I said, it's the busiest, most convenient, or inconvenient, most distracted, most holiday filled, most unpredictable time for most people, it's predictably unpredictable. So most people, honest to God, need support. They need a coach. They need someone to ground them. They need some help navigating. How do I go through the next three months and not only be present with my friends and family, but also not sabotage myself either? 'Cause you can do both. A lot of people just need to be taught how, 'cause it's a fundamental teaching thing, and that's what we do.
0:18:45.9 Jared Hamilton: It's not about just like be really strict and rigid in diet culturey and not be present on Christmas and during Thanksgiving and Halloween and all of that. But it's not also about like free for all where you're gonna wake-up 30 pounds heavier on January 1, either there's a balance and a dichotomy where you can have both, but most people need to be taught, coached and helped in essentially, literally coached through that. But this can serve you in more ways than you realize. 'Cause again, it can make you bulletproof, quite literally bulletproof, where if you can keep your head on you when everything is going all over the place, you'll be able to go through the rest of the year, no problem. But most people come up on challenging times and they cave, they relent, they make excuses. I'm an all or nothing person. Ah, it's not me, oh, things are too busy. I'm too this.
0:19:32.0 Jared Hamilton: And we find reasons to validate failure and then we fall off, which is why most people continue this disgusting pattern of failure and yoyoing and gaining their weight back. And I don't wanna see that happen to you. And if you're listening to me talk right now, you're probably a different caliber of person who is receptive to some of this, and I would hope so. And I want you to not just listen to this. I want you to take to heart everything I'm saying and run with it and change everything for yourself. Okay. So what to do, I know I've spent the last, what, 19 minutes talking about all this. And I want you to by now to go, okay, I'm gonna change some shit. What do I do? So I'm gonna give you, 'cause I'm... Everything for me is tactics.
0:20:08.6 Jared Hamilton: I don't wanna just sound philosophical and sound really like that. Like sound really good with all this stuff. I want this to be tactical as fuck, where you can run with it, so what to do with this information and what to do now. So I have in my notes right here, it says, when you need to... Right now is when we need to reevaluate our actions and goals since January, 2023, since this past January from the very beginning of the year. So I have one, two... I have four bullets I want you to think about if you're taking notes, you'll wanna write some of these down because right now is actually when you need to really be thinking about your goals for 2024. Don't wait till 2024 to get your shit together, we want our shit together now going into, like I said, the busiest time of the year so you can hit the ground January 1 and not be making all these rash decisions and being like everyone else in the diet culture world.
0:21:01.9 Jared Hamilton: Okay, so here's like your checklist, I guess if you could call it, I like my lists. I know you guys like lists. So here's your checklist. Number one, we need to reflect and audit right now before we can make decisions. We need to absorb some of the data and look at where things are at to make the appropriate decision. So I have a few questions under this. Under Reflectant audit number one, what happened in 2023? Like, are you where you wanna be right now? Are you still on track with your goals? Did you fall off? Are you... Did you... Should you be further ahead? Should you not? How have your actions been? We need to really reflect and audit a objective self-assessment from January 1 of this year to now. So some of the questions I've written down, what happened, good or bad, where did things go wrong?
0:21:50.8 Jared Hamilton: 'Cause most people, I'll be honest, that are listening to this aren't where they wanna be. They fell off. They can't tell you where they fell off and things like that. So where did things go wrong? Where did you lose it? Did you do good? Was it was first couple weeks of the year you fell off? Or did you fall off like last week? Or did you start getting... Was it when you quit getting motivated around like February, then things kind of got sloppy? Like what happened? And don't. And here's the thing. Don't look at this through the lens of judgment or shame or guilt. All you're looking at this through the lens of a self-assessment of where things went wrong. This is where like you're coaching yourself a little bit. When we have a client come to us and we have to assess where they're at to make the decisions to move them forward, it's not filled with shame or judgment.
0:22:35.4 Jared Hamilton: It's more, it's just data. It's like, okay, well what happened? Okay, we fell off in February because we weren't motivated. Okay, then we need to put a plan in place that you can execute on when you're not motivated. It's purely data and empathy. And I want you to look at this through the lens for yourself of objectivity and empathy. Most of you listening to this, when you're doing a self-assessment, you get self-deprecative and you shame yourself and guilt yourself and should yourself to death. And I don't want you to do that. I want you to look at this through the lens as if your best friend said, help me, help me with this. I don't know what happened and I want this... I wanna take this information Jared's saying seriously and run with it and make Q4 the best quarter of my life and give me so much momentum in January. So will you help me?
0:23:19.8 Jared Hamilton: I want you to look at this through the same lens. Okay, so what happened? Where did things go wrong? Where did you lose it? When did things go south? I'm just different questions for... There's different perspectives of the same question. Where were your holes at? Was it we are good until motivation goes south and motivation was the hole? Was it, the workouts were great, nutrition was the hole? Was it nutrition and workouts were great, but your mindset and binge eating was the the hole? Like where's the hole at? What... Looking back, what could you have done differently?
0:23:50.1 Jared Hamilton: Maybe made these things more of a non-negotiable maybe of not have gone quite as heavy, not as gone quite as aggressive with some of this stuff. Maybe you've been more sustainable. Like where could you have done things differently? Hey, that's the first bullet. Reflect and audit. And those are just some of the questions. Number two, what's the goal now? We need to reassess if the goal is a good goal, a bad goal, a practical goal, or if you even want the damn thing anymore. I think a lot of people stay married to goals they don't actually want anymore. One thing I've found with a lot of our clients when we do this inner work, they're so obsessed with the scale number and then they're like, you know what, I could give two shits about the scale after they've gone through coaching. Which is amazing.
0:24:30.7 Jared Hamilton: Or some people are actually, they think they need to lose a ton of weight and in reality they were running from something like, you know what, I actually don't need to lose that much weight. So we need to make sure your goal is even relevant. So number one, goal-wise, has it changed? We, and it... By the way, if you don't know how to set goals, go listen to my episode. I can't... I'm not sure what number it is off the top of my head from January. It was the goal, it was the goal setting podcast episode I did back in January of this year and I've... It's one I've gotten some of the best feedback on, on how to set goals. So you may need to go listen to that. But otherwise, goals the goals now has it changed? Is it the same? Is it altered? That's okay too.
0:25:13.0 Jared Hamilton: And do you still want it? Again, I think a lot of people are married to these goals that they feel like they should want, but they don't. But they either feel like they need to go after, it's like the kid that doesn't wanna go to college and doesn't wanna become the nurse, but mom wants 'em to go to college and become a nurse and they really want to go be like a world traveler or an artist or they wanna go play music or whatever. And they're only doing things 'cause mom wanted them to. So forget everyone else. You have to assess yourself. What do you want? Is the goal what you still want? Do we need to change the goal maybe to an intrinsic goal versus extrinsic goal? Do we need to make it a smaller goal that feels more attainable?
0:25:48.2 Jared Hamilton: It's these things. So what's the goal now? 'Cause you cannot shoot a target that you don't know what it is. So has... So what's the goal now is what I'm asking. Okay, number three, what's the plan? A goal without a plan is a pipe dream, as a mentor of mine used to say, so this is where my favorite thing to talk about because I can just get tactical as fuck. Now obviously I'm talking from one to many with listening to the show versus like with when one... With things like one-on-one coaching, I can to tell you like, here are your goals versus, or your... Not goals, your specific action steps and plan for this. And if you want that, we could have that conversation. You can inquire below, but that's not what this is about. But because I'm speaking one to many, one to hundreds of thousands of people I'm gonna give you some things to think about so you can decide for yourself what your action step should be.
0:26:32.6 Jared Hamilton: And if you have questions, you can always email me, you can always message me and DM me and things like that. I would actually suggest it. My DMs and email is always open. All that contact info is below. But I'm not gonna tell you what to pick for your actions 'cause everyone's different. I'm gonna tell you how to think about your actions if that kinda makes sense. So the plan, what's the plan? 'Cause again, we now have, looking at my notes we have, you reflected and audited. You got clear on what the goal is now. So then what's the plan? So my question, my thing would tell you... My thing to tell you if I could get my words straight would be great, is what are the one to three things you need to implement for the rest of the quarter?
0:27:08.0 Jared Hamilton: Action wise what are the one to three things? No more. And if three is a lot, go to two. If two two's a lot, go to one. If you can execute one habit, walk every day, track your food, journal every day, strength train three days a week, whatever your action is for the rest of the quarter, you'll crush it. You'll be in such a good place when January rolls around. And that's just picking one habit, okay. So I want you to only pick one to three things you're going to implement and commit to for the rest of the quarter. Excuse me. Okay. If you're struggling with this, here's how to think about it. Make these habits ungodly simple. So simple, so practical and so doable. And if you're not sure, if you're still like, I don't know what to pick, pick one for each mind, mouth, movement.
0:28:00.3 Jared Hamilton: Go back to the first question under reflectant audit, like where your hole's at? Is your holes in the mind category, the mouth category or the movement category? Mind? Is it your mentalities? Is it your emotions? Is it your inner game? Which it is for most people. I mean the podcast is called Dieting From The Inside Out. So is it an inner game thing? Is it a mouth thing? So we got mind, mouth, movement, mind. Is it a mind thing? Is it a mouth thing? Is it, are you eating too much? Are you eating too much because it's a mind thing. Are you like binge eating? Well that's a mind thing, not a mouth thing. Okay, is it a mouth thing? Are you unaware of how much you're eating? We should maybe track some calories. Are we not eating enough protein? And that would fix everything.
0:28:32.6 Jared Hamilton: Is it a movement thing? Are you not training? Are you not walking? Again, the only way I can answer this is if you're like a client of ours or if like you gimme all the context I need in a DM or something. But I want you to think about this different, okay. Make this simple. One of the best ways to change the pattern is change your actions completely. If you're an extremist, all or nothing motherfucker and you're going to this really simple approach, it's one of the easiest ways to change this pattern because it's changing everything entirely. All right. So make it simple. Mind, mouth, movement. Done. Okay. And then the last part under this is, this is one of the ones I want you to run with the most. I want you to remove expectation for the rest of the quarter.
0:29:13.5 Jared Hamilton: One of my favorite artists of all time, his name is Russ. A lot of you guys know Russ. He has a quote that I love. He says, attachment is the root of all suffering. And I think it's incredible. I just put this in an email today as well. Today's email that went out was fucking awesome. If you are not in my, on my email list, I'm putting some of my best written content long form in my, on my email list. And if you're not on it, there's a link below. I put a lot into it. I write like probably five, six days a week of nothing but value longer form content that you're not getting anywhere else, depending, but like I'm putting it there from in written form, and this is some of the stuff I've been talking about. But remove expectation.
0:29:50.3 Jared Hamilton: I want you to commit to showing up without expectation of weight loss or anything for the next quarter. As in, like, think of it this way, when was the last time you just showed up with zero expectation? Kinda like giving without expectation. Not giving and hoping they treat you well. Giving, hoping they give back, giving, hoping they pay it forward. I'm talking about just giving without expectation. Not very many people do that. When was the last time you showed up without an expectation? A lot of times people, they show up only and it's negotiable only if they're making progress. Only if the scale's moving down. Only if they feel a difference. Only if they feel like it, only if they're motivated. That's a recipe for failure and struggle and gaining all your weight back. So for the next quarter, I want you to, this final quarter of the year, I want you to show up with zero expectation of outcomes.
0:30:34.0 Jared Hamilton: And I would bet you've probably never done that before, or it's been a long time since you've done that. Where you showed up and executed for yourself and removed expectation of weight loss, of looking better, of feeling better, of anything, just showing up in believing that when the result is ready, it will come. I'm telling you, when you do that, you'll get the fastest, best results with the least amount of friction you've ever received. And it's the best thing ever. So that's what I want you to do for the plan. And then last lastly, 'cause again, we've talked about reflecting and auditing yourself, number two was the goal now, number three was the plan. Number four, following through on said plan. So I kind of alluded to it already, making follow... Make following through a non-negotiable for you. Without expectation, make it... Make following through a complete non-negotiable.
0:31:28.0 Jared Hamilton: Not like... That's the thing is most people negotiate, ah, you know what? I don't feel like it so I'm not gonna show up. Ah, you know what, I'm tired, I'm not gonna do it. Ah, you know what, I know what to do, but not doing it. Oh, you know what? I haven't made progress or I should be further ahead or Karen at work lost more weight than me, so maybe I'm doing something wrong. Stop, stop negotiating your show up rate, stop negotiating how you show up to yourself and in your actions. 'Cause most people, sorry, my nose itches really bad out of nowhere. Most people quit before they've even had the compound effect of their actions. Like we've all seen like the mutual fund like Dave Ramsey, compound effect. Like if you put $500 a month in this mutual fund when you are 70, it's gonna have like 3 or $4 million in it.
0:32:10.1 Jared Hamilton: You put 500 bucks a month for like 10 years into this mutual fund or however long, and it's, by the time you're 70, it's worth like 3 or $4 million. But imagine in year five you're like, oh fuck, there's hardly any money in there. It's just a few thousand dollars. Fuck, I'm just gonna... You know what I'm just gonna pull that money out. You didn't wait long enough. The cool thing with this game is you don't have to wait till you're 70. All I'm asking for you to wait is like a year. A year and a half, not that long. Okay. That's the cool thing with this game is, is you could literally have fucked off for the last 30 years and be a different person in one year. To me that sounds like fast progress. It's just not Amazon Prime. That's literally my little 2 cents on that is if you do this the right way, weight loss, sustainable weight loss, in dieting from the inside out can be so fast contextually, it's just not Amazon Prime.
0:33:00.6 Jared Hamilton: Fucked off for 30 years, struggled for 40 years. Or if you were listening to the episode like Lynn a few weeks ago, she struggled for 60 years, six months, no struggle a year. Everything you ever wanted, two years, everything you ever wanted. That sounds fast to me. It's just not Amazon Prime, okay. And so make following through for you a non-negotiable where you do it no matter what without expectation. And then finally under follow through, if you do mess up, 'cause you're going to, it's a busy fucking quarter. If you do mess up, fall off, life happens, get sick, whatever the case is, your rule for yourself is I want you to be back on track within the day. If you missed your workout, you're back on track that day with your nutrition. If you over ate at lunch, you're back on track by then you're... By dinner.
0:33:49.5 Jared Hamilton: We don't say fuck it and all or nothing, we're not fuck it all or nothing people here, we don't say, oh, you know, it was a Thursday, I had one too many drinks at happy hour. You know what I'm gonna just say start over Monday. When your ball's deep in Thanksgiving dinner and you've like gained five pounds overnight and you're convinced it's body fat when it's not. And you wanna say, fuck it, I'm gonna start over in January. No, you committed to showing up without expectation. You committed to showing up for yourself no matter what happens. And now your little golden rule is you get... You're back on track, you've adjusted back the same day. We're not all or nothing people here. If you are, go listen to the podcast or the episode on it and or get coaching where we can fix it. But that's what I want you to do.
0:34:31.1 Jared Hamilton: So those, the four big pillars of this one was you're your checklist is how I have it in my notes is you're gonna reflect an audit, you're gonna get clear on what the goal is now, you're gonna get clear on what the plan is for yourself, and then you're gonna follow through and execute on that plan with zero expectation for the next what, till 2024. And that's it. It doesn't have to be that big of a deal. It can be really simple. Okay. And that is it, that is it for today's episode on the Q4 wake-up call. I don't even, that's probably what we're gonna end up calling it. I don't even know, but that's what I want you to do. That's... I hope this is helpful. Now if you're listening to this and you're like, fuck, I just, I don't even know, I need more help.
0:35:07.5 Jared Hamilton: So there's a few options we have for you right now, depending on where you're at, depending on how long you've been following me and all this stuff. Number one, if you don't want to go through the next quarter on your own, if you're like, fuck me, I, that's... I just know already I'm traveling, I got all this stuff, I always fall off, I always gain all my weight back, fuck me, then, and you want help and you're ready for help and you're ready to show up for yourself. You should apply for coaching and see if you qualify and if we think it's a good fit on both sides and we can work with you. So if you wanna do that, the link is below to apply for coaching, check that, hit that, fill out the intake form, be brutally honest in it, and then we'll set up a call, see if it's a good fit and if it is, we'll run with it, if not, I can refer you to someone else that I think may be a better fit. Okay.
0:35:51.4 Jared Hamilton: So that's the first thing you can do. Second thing, let's say you're not quite ready for that. Let's say you're like, I don't know about that. I don't even know if I trust you enough yet. That's fine. Trust has to be earned. I would start... I would join our Facebook group because here's the thing, no matter where you're at on this journey, you need a community of like-minded people who are on the same journey. Some above you, some below you that who all have the same mission of changing their life and getting to where you wanna be in the right way possible. You should join my Fat Loss Simplified Facebook community, the link is below, sorry, a little brain blink for a little brain, yeah, blink, maybe, I don't know, my brain just decided to quit working for a second. It's fine. But join the, at the link below in that way we can make sure you're taken care of there because I'm telling you, if you put yourself in the right community, most of your, the bad shit that you're struggling with goes away. So definitely check out the link for that below.
0:36:36.9 Jared Hamilton: And then if you're still not quite sure where to get started and you'd like a little bit more granular information on this stuff, like how to set these habits and things like that, and you have not yet gone through my free mini course, you'll wanna do that ASAP. The link is below there as well. It's called the Fat Loss Checklist, and it's a five day mini course through your email and it will change your life. And that's it for today's episode guys. I appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for your time and attention. It's pretty cool that you're here out of all the places on the internet and I don't take that lightly or for granted. So thank you so much. If you have not subscribed yet to the podcast, please do. If you haven't left a review for the podcast, please do that. It helps me more than you imagine. And that's it. I love you. I'll talk to you next time.
Recognize the Pattern:
Okay, we’re just outside the last three months of the year, but I want to start by saying that it doesn’t matter if you're reading this when it drops, two months from now, in the middle of the year next year, or whenever.
Anytime you need to get your shit together, I want you to go through the process we are about to discuss.
The reason why I am covering this now is because this is a hard time of year. This is when most people will lose all their progress and start back at square one.
Also, influencers are pushing diet culture BS super hard right now.
I’m seeing a lot of, “Don't eat sugar,” “Go to the gym to burn off the extra calories,” “Take your meal prep stuff to grandma's for Thanksgiving”—all this type of stuff is being pushed really hard right now.
Most people are about to lose all their progress.
We have Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and most people will go into the holidays and start thinking, “I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I should even try.”
They’ll self-sabotage.
You need to take a step back. Look at what happens every time you fall off, you sabotage, etc. What happens every holiday season?
Self-awareness and pattern recognition are two of the biggest assets in this game.
If you keep saying, “I’ll get back on track after Thanksgiving, after Christmas, after the start of the year…”
…it’s a pattern. And it’s a problem.
Every time we continue down a pattern, it gets stronger.
If you always fall off or gain your weight back, you are actually developing a skill—you are getting really good at gaining weight back, falling off, starting over, etc.
We talked about this in the last solo episode: if you’ve been “starting over Monday” for the last 5 years, you would have started over more than 260 times.
You aren’t just holding yourself back, you are getting active reps in constantly starting over.
You need to understand that your mind and nervous system crave what’s familiar, so if you are always falling off and failing, failure is going to feel like home.
We need to fix that by getting out of the pattern.
The best way to gain power over your subconscious patterns is to realize you're in the pattern.
For example, I say “like,” and “um,” all the time. I didn’t realize that until someone pointed that out to me. It was a subconscious pattern—and now that I know about it, it's getting better, I’m slowly starting to use those filler words less.
You have to identify the pattern so you can get out of it.
Now, I know that a lot of you are probably feeling overwhelmed, but this is a great time to tackle these things. If you can get your shit together now, you will be bulletproof.
This is actually my favorite time of year to take on clients because we get to prove to them that you can be present, enjoy the holidays, and NOT sabotage yourself.
What to do Now:
Now is the time for you to evaluate your 2023 goals and start making your 2024 goals.
We want to set your 2024 goals now so you can hit the ground running on January 1st.
#1 Reflect & Audit:
We need to reflect and audit. We need to look at and absorb some of the data so we can make the appropriate decisions going forward.
This is a self-assessment, so don’t judge or shame yourself. This is purely data. Look at this as if you are helping your best friend.
What happened in 2023?
Are you where you want to be? Did you fall off?
Where did things go wrong?
Was it the first couple weeks? Did you start with motivation but then quit around February? Was it last week?
Where were the holes at?
Was it nutrition? Workouts? Binge eating? Motivation? Perhaps workouts were good, but your mindset around nutrition is where you struggled. Things like that.
Looking back, what could you have done differently?
Maybe you needed to be less aggressive and more sustainable—or maybe you needed to make certain things non-negotiable.
#2 What’s the Goal Now:
What’s the goal now? We need to reassess whether the goal is a good goal or not.
Do you even want the thing anymore?
Has your goal changed?
Think about whether or not the goal is something that you still want to achieve.
A lot of times, we get clients who come into coaching obsessed with a certain number on the scale—and by the end, they realize that they don’t actually care about that number or the scale.
Sometimes we get attached to these goals, but never stop to consider if the goal is something that we still want. So, stop and assess.
If you need to know more about goal-setting, check out this previous episode.
#3 What’s The Plan:
What’s the plan? A goal without a plan is a pipedream.
Now, because I’m speaking to many here—not 1:1, like in coaching—I’m going to give you guys a list of suggestions and tell you how to think about your actions.
Also, if you have more questions, please feel free to DM me, email me, or reach out in any way you want. I’m always here to help.
Now, actionwise: what are the 1 to 3 things you need to implement?
1 to 3, no more.
If 3 is a lot for you, go to 2. If 2 is a lot, make it 1.
If you can execute 1 habit—like walking every day, tracking your food, journaling every day, strength training three days a week—whatever your action is for the rest of the quarter, you'll crush it.
You'll be in a great place come January.
Pick 1 to 3 things that you’re going to commit to for the rest of the quarter.
Make these habits ungodly simple—and if you’re struggling with what the habit should be, think mind, mouth, movement.
Go back to where the holes were in 2023:
Was it your mind, the inner game, binge eating?
Was it a mouth thing, your nutrition?
Was it a movement thing, was your training all over the place?
Make it simple.
Remove Expectation:
For the rest of the year, I want you to remove all expectations.
I want you to just show up with no expectation of weight loss or anything for the next quarter.
When was the last time you showed up with zero expectations?
A lot of times people show up only if the scale is going down, only if they feel motivation, etc.
I want you to show up and believe that when the result is ready, it will reveal itself.
I’m telling you, when you do that, you’ll get the fastest, best results, with the least amount of friction you’ve ever received.
It’s the best thing ever.
#4 Follow Through on the Plan:
Lastly, you need to make following through a non-negotiable. Don’t wake up and think, “Oh, I’m not motivated today, I’m not going to show up.”
Commit to this plan.
The cool thing about this game is that you could have literally fucked off for the last 30 years and be a completely different person a year from now.
Sustainable weight loss and dieting from the inside out can be so fast contextually—think six months, a year, two years, no struggles, everything you ever wanted…
That sounds fast to me.
Lastly, if you do mess up, fall off, get sick, or whatever the case may be, I want you back on track within the day.
Miss a workout? You’re still on track that day with your nutrition.
Overeat at lunch? You’re back on track at dinner.
We don't say, “Fuck it, it’s all or nothing.”
We're not all-or-nothing people here.
You committed to showing up without expectation.
You committed to showing up for yourself no matter what happens.
Now, your little golden rule is that you get right back on track.
Recap:
#1 Reflect & Audit
#2 What’s the Goal Now?
#3 What’s the Plan?
Focus Area: Remove Expectation
#4 Follow Through on the Plan
That’s all I want you to do for the rest of the year—keep it nice and simple.
If you are overwhelmed and you want help, please apply for coaching.
If you aren’t ready for coaching, join our Facebook community. You need a community of like-minded people. If you put yourself in the right community, a lot of your struggles will go away.
And lastly, if you haven’t done my free mini-course, you can sign up for that here.
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