How to ACTUALLY WIN the New Year | DFIO Ep.248
About This Episode:
Welcome back! I am PUMPED for this episode.
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a solo episode and as we head into Christmas I thought this was the perfect time to sit down and talk about how to win in the New Year.
I’m tired of seeing people live the same life year after year or start off strong in January just to fall off before the end of the month.
I think it’s really important to have this end-of-the-year talk, so let’s get into it!
17:15 Intention Setting
Transcript (click to expand)
How to ACTUALLY WIN the New Year | DFIO Ep.248
0:00:00.2 Jared Hamilton: If you go into the New Year being the same you, you will not accomplish anything. You will not get to where you wanna be. You will relive the same shitty year over and over again. What do your patterns say? Your patterns are always going to try to live through. They're always gonna keep coming at you. They're not ever gonna stop until you make them stop. But if you just say, "Oh, I'm gonna set new goals this year, New Year, new me," and you keep doing the same shit, you're gonna get the same shitty results. That's just how the game works.
0:00:27.5 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to a brand new episode of Dieting From the Inside Out. If you're new here, welcome to the show. My name is Jared Hamilton, and I am pumped to come at you with this episode that we have today.
0:00:38.4 Jared Hamilton: I haven't done a solo episode in a hot minute, and I think this is a really good time to do one, because what we're gonna get into today on today's episode is basically how to actually win the New Year. 'Cause at the time of filming this right now, we're about a week out from Christmas, so everyone's kind of coming to a head with the rest of their December and 2022 stuff. And a lot of people are gearing up for a really big 2023. And I think it's really important to have like that talk, right? The end of the year, going into the new year talk, because I am tired of seeing people live the same shitty life over and over and over again. Right? A lot of people have, they'll say they've been trying to lose weight for years or they've been goal setting for years or whatever the case is. But they haven't been getting the success with that. They've relived like the same shitty six weeks over and over and over again. Or the whole pattern of we know everyone starts off strong in January, then by January 7th, falling off and all that kind of stuff.
0:01:36.1 Jared Hamilton: So I wanna take a little bit different of approach with this with you. So that's what we're going to get into on today's episode. And it's just me. I don't have a guest today. I just really felt... I was thinking about what do I want to come at you and talk to you about, especially this time of the year. And this is kind of what I feel is kind of becoming through me, if you wanna call it that. But before we get into all of that, big, big thank you to the sponsors of the show, sponsor number one is FlexPro Meals, because we all know, especially with this time of the year, things are just crazy, unpredictable. And I don't know if your life is anything like mine, but that really doesn't change whatever time of year it is between things in my life, like work, travel, just family stuff, like I can't even imagine how half of you guys do this with all the kids and soccer games and school and all of that stuff. So it's one of those things where if life isn't very convenient and times are unprecedented or you find yourself stopping in gas stations all the time or living in drive throughs or always like going hours and hours and hours without eating because you just are on the go, you may consider something like FlexPro because it just makes the convenient side of this super, super doable.
0:02:42.2 Jared Hamilton: And it's gonna save you a lot more money than going through a drive through. So, because the meals are already ready to made, they're made by a chef, they get delivered to your door, or they call themselves the Amazon prime of like meal delivery services. And like I said, it's gonna save you even more money than having to stop through a drive through. So if that's something you're interested in, definitely check out their menu at flexpromeals.com. There's a link below as well. You can also use my code HamiltonTrained and it will save you an additional 20% off at checkout, which is pretty cool. Next, our second sponsor is 1st Phorm. I'm wearing one of their shirts if you're watching the YouTube video. I actually just had a call with my friends at 1st Phorm today. Guys, it's one of those things we all know that supplements are not the end all be all, and there is a whole food option for almost every supplement that you could take 'cause it's called a supplement for a reason. It's to supplement where you are not getting the things you need with food, whether that be you're not getting enough protein in, whether that means you're having a hard time with inflammation and you need something like a fish oil because you're not getting enough from actual fish, whether you're like me and suck at getting in your protein or your your plants and fruits and vegetables and you need something along those lines.
0:03:44.9 Jared Hamilton: At the end of the day, if you're missing those spots in actual food, supplements are the next go-to. And I want to make sure that you're getting the right stuff. I want to make sure that you're not wasting your money on stuff that's not accurate, that's not safe, that's made in someone's basement. That's not gonna help you very much. So that's why I am so happy that I partnered with 1st Phorm a year or two ago. I can't remember how long it's been now. But it's what I take, it's what we recommend for clients because I want you to be able to go and get the right stuff for you where you're not wasting your money on stuff that's not actually helping you and whatnot. So definitely check that out. There's a link below there. If you use my code, it's gonna save you some free priority shipping, which is pretty dope because Amazon has us all spoiled. But that is it for the sponsor part of the show. Now let's get into the actual nuts and bolts of how to actually win the New Year and kind of reflections around this current year. That way we can ultimately change our lives. If you're watching the YouTube video, I do have notes today because I have a tendency to ramble on and get on tangents, and I don't wanna do that to you. So if you're watching the YouTube video, I do have my notes in front of me 'cause I really have today's talk broken down into really three sections.
0:04:53.2 Jared Hamilton: Okay, I have the first section is what I'm calling reflection. The second section, what I'm calling intention setting. And then the third is things to know and wrap your head around before the New Year starts, because ultimately we can't really make better decisions about this coming year until we reflect on what happened this year. Okay. And then in the world of goal setting, we really need to sit down and understand on how to set goals and intentions going into, let's say, 2023 in this case. But then also we have to get your expectations in a really good place. That's why I have the third part of this, where the stuff that you have to wrap your head around and know going into the year, things that a lot of times people forget and things that people really fall short on, which is no wonder everyone lives the same shit a year over and over again. So I don't want this to be a super long episode. So let's get into it. So let's start talking about the reflection side of things, because reflection is part of the thinking process, right? Like thinking is simply asking and answering your own questions.
0:05:52.4 Jared Hamilton: So in the world of reflecting question number one, you have to ask yourself, especially going into the New Year is what went well this past year? Right. Like what went well in 2022? 'Cause you have to understand that you have to... The quality of so much of the solutions you get are based on the quality of the questions you ask yourself. So you have to ask yourself, well, what went well last year? What went well in 2022? Because now we can do more of those things. Was it that you finally were consistent? Was it that you finally hit your rock bottom and now you can actually go to change your life? What was it? Right. Don't don't just like arbitrarily set bullshit goals going into the next year. We need to have reflection time and actually sit down and go, okay let's reflect on this past year. So question number one to ask yourself is what went well. Write that down. So now we can do more of that because we have momentum with that. Momentum is everything. So we need to have momentum going into the new year. We're going, "Okay, well, what went well last year? What did I actually crush with?" Okay. Question number two to ask yourself is the antagonist to that. Well, where did you fall short? What didn't go well? Guys, I'm the king of simplicity. Like, that's my one superpower, is we have to make all this super simple. So these questions aren't very like super crazy out there.
0:07:07.5 Jared Hamilton: We have to get the answers we need. What went well and then what didn't go well? Where did you fall short? Did you do good with like, let's say, I don't know your consistency in nutrition, but you sucked with training. Was it that you did good when things were okay when things were less stressful, but then you lost it when life kicked you a curveball? Did you lose it when things just went sideways? Did you start getting your inner work started this year, but you ended up sabotaging it later on in the year? Right. Where did you fall short? You have to also ask yourself these questions in a very emotionally neutral place, high levels of equanimity with this. You don't want to go into this reflection conversation with yourself highly emotion... With your emotions all over the place, I should say, with you, like almost like triggered going into it. Well, like I did go with this and then off what's wrong with me? I'm worthless. Like, we don't want to get into that. Okay, what went well? What didn't go well? Because if, depending on what didn't go well, that may be what we need to focus more on in 2023. What didn't go well? We need to bring up those those parts. It's not...
0:08:07.1 Jared Hamilton: Guys, I want you think of it this way. Don't think about going into 2023 with raising your ceiling. Your ceiling, your best days are already good enough. Your best days are already bad ass as hell. We got to make your worst days a little bit better. We just got to raise your floor. It's not a matter of going from like the best possible day where you're kicking ass, taking names, excuse me, and then trying to make that 10% better. It's like your worst days. We just got to raise the floor on that. And your your life will never be the same, 'cause we don't want... I always say we don't want this to be like an adult roller coaster where it's these huge high highs and these super horrible lows, like a like a like a world record roller coaster. We want this like a kiddie roller coaster where it's like not very big highs and not very small lows and not very crazy highs and not very torrential lows, things like that.
0:08:54.7 Jared Hamilton: So that's question number two. You have to ask yourself is where do you fall short? Where did things not go your way? Where did you lose it? If you're being honest with yourself, where did you not do so well this past year? Alright. Question number three. Knowing what you know now, knowing with what you gathered from question one and two, what would you do differently, what would you do differently if you could go back, if like we reset eight months ago, six months ago, three months ago, what what would you do differently? Right. This is where we really get specific on thinking where we are... Sorry if you in the YouTube video keep seeing me take my headphones on and off. I have a ceiling fan that out of nowhere has been making some weird noises and I don't want it like clicking on the recording. So so if you keep seeing me take my headphones on and off. But honestly, what would you do differently? Right. In my life, like looking back with the goals that I have, not necessarily weight loss related, I would have really worked on my focus more.
0:09:48.5 Jared Hamilton: For me, what I would... Knowing what I know now where I fell short is there's a few times, like a handful of times this past year, I got distracted, I got overwhelmed and I didn't focus as much. There's a few areas that I let my own self-care go south and then my mental bandwidth didn't last as long or I got burned down. I should have put a little bit more things in place where I didn't get as burned out or is mentally exhausted, I should say. Those are a couple of things for me based on what I did well, what I didn't do as well, and then what I would do differently. I want you to think of it the same thing or the same way, I should say. Question number one, two, three, number four. This is a very black and white answer. Did you do what you said you would do? This is two sided. This is from the outcomes that you set when you said, "Oh, I want to do this. I want to lose the weight. I want to make the money. I want to do this. Go on this trip. I want to... " whatever the goal you set. Did you do it? Yes or no. Okay, then the caveat to that is why or why not? Or if it was more what I prefer action based goals where if you said, "Well, my goal this year... One of my goals this year is to get my nutrition in check, to get my health under control, to start doing inner work, to start going to the gym consistently."
0:10:54.8 Jared Hamilton: So then my question is, did you do it? Then the caveat, why or why not? Because the thing is we have to understand, you have to understand we have to bring massive amounts of awareness to our ability to do the things that we said we would do. If I fell short on my goals, now I can get clear on, well, why didn't it happen? Where did it go south? Oh, that's a spot I need to work on. So from the outcome perspective, again, we're doing this just like we're doing this emotionless. We're not doing this with like remorse and regret. And "Oh, what's wrong with me?" We're doing this from like a very logical and data driven place. Right. We're looking at it from the standpoint of, "Well, did I accomplish the goal I set out?" "No, I didn't." "Well, why?" "Oh, I set the goal too high. I set the goal that was not practical," or "Oh, I had this thing happen in my family that kind of took a curveball. Oh, I got a divorce. Oh, my kid went through some shit." Right. Is it circumstantial where life hit you like that or was it? Oh, I literally gave up or oh, I didn't keep consistent because my motivation went south or is it oh, I based my plan off of my best days and not my worst days. Is it oh, I tried to do this by myself again for the 10th year in a row. And I knew I should have hired a coach this whole time or something like that. Right.
0:12:02.9 Jared Hamilton: We have to look at did I accomplish the goals I wanted to? But then the caveat is from the action standpoint, did I do the things that I said I would do? It's a big deal. It's a big difference when you're looking at this stuff going, "Okay, yes or no, did I do this?" Because the problem is ignorance is bliss where if you don't know, if you're like, well, I kind of did what I wanted to do. I don't really want to look at it, then we don't know what we need a course correct for. You see. And then the final question you have to ask yourself under reflection is, what do we need to let go of?
0:12:33.1 Jared Hamilton: This is one I've been talking to some clients in our group about is what things do you need to let go of? I think a lot of people need to let go of, let's say, the speeds of things. We need to let go of trying to do things as fast as possible. I would argue and say we need to let go of the actual outcome itself. And we need to let go of like, oh, I need to lose weight right now versus, well, what actions do I need to put in place and I'll let the weight loss happen when it's supposed to. What do we need to let go of? Do we need to need to let go of perfectionism? Do we need to let go of these old mentalities and identities that have held us back the past 12 days? I did Jared's 12 days of Christmas. And in addition to 12 days of giveaways, I did 12 days of trainings that were all cumulative, where they built on the last one. And it was all about identity and it was all about how to become the version of yourself that gets all the things that you want. Not how do I get, it's who do I have to become that gets in a big part of identity is unlearning and letting go of these old things, the old story of I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I'm a binger. I've never been successful. Oh, I'm a perfectionist. I'm an all or nothing person. Oh, it has to be this way.
0:13:39.0 Jared Hamilton: Well, those things don't work with this new way of doing things. You can't do that anymore. So we need to also sit down under the reflection time and go, what do I need to let go of? 'Cause again, you can't keep getting new. You can't get new results running on old software. It doesn't work like that. So under this first section, though, I'll recap it really quickly. Under reflection, before you go setting goals and intentions into the New Year, what went well? Where did you fall short? What would you do differently knowing what you know now? Did you do what you said you would do that from an outcome perspective, from the goals you wanted to do or wanted to accomplish and from the actions you said you were gonna execute on? And then lastly, what do we need to let go of? 'Cause if you go into the New Year being the same you holding on to the same old bullshit, you will not accomplish anything. You will not get to where you want to be. You will relive the same shitty year over and over again. This is why within the reflection side of things, we have to look at patterns. Pattern recognition is such a huge skill set for you to have. It's one of the biggest things that we do as coaches, is we look at people's patterns going through their journey and go, "Oh, this is becoming a thing," or looking at someone's...
0:14:49.7 Jared Hamilton: Let's say someone joins coaching today, well, we wanna know what's happened the last seven times they've tried to diet. So we can pick up these patterns. I would say the same thing to you is what do your patterns say? Because your patterns are always going to try to live through. They're always gonna keep coming at you. They're not ever gonna stop until you make them stop. But if you just say, "Oh, I'm going to set new goals this year, New Year, new me, and you keep doing the same shit, you're gonna get the same shitty results. That's just how the game works. Next, let's get into intention setting. The reason I like to use the word intention. Don't get me wrong. I don't have any issues with saying the word goals or goal setting. A lot of times this time of the year, you'll see people who either go crazy goal setting or they'll actually talk shit about goals. They'll actually go, "Oh, well, statistically, most New Year's resolutions don't work. Goals don't work. I actually just don't believe in setting goals every year." And I'm like, "Okay," I don't hang out with those kind of people because those kind of people are usually stagnant and those kind of people are usually unhappy.
0:15:44.3 Jared Hamilton: That's the other thing right now. I made a post about this on my story the other day is right around now you have to be really careful who you listen to in the world of achievement in this kind of stuff, because I'll be honest, there's a lot of people who have never gotten the thing that you're trying to get, who will tell you how to get it. I know a lot of broke people tell there's a lie right now. I know a lot of broke people telling me how to make money. I know a lot of fat and overweight people who are going to tell you how to get fit and how to lose weight and how to get healthy. I know a lot of unhappy people who are going to try to tell you how to create happiness. It's a very treacherous road that you got to be careful because there's a lot of people who don't have what you want, who you would never want to trade lives with, who are going to try to give you advice and you cannot let them in your head. It's hard because most of them are friends and family who are very, to be honest, well intentioned, but I'm telling you, some of the worst advice I've ever been given is from people who just care about me, if I'm being honest.
0:16:40.4 Jared Hamilton: And it's not that they mean ill harm, but I have to take it with a grain of salt and look at it through the lens of like, do I wanna change lives with them on this? If someone's trying to give me money advice. Would I trade lives with them when it comes to finances? If someone's trying to give you weight loss advice, would you trade lives with them in the world of weight loss?
0:16:58.5 Jared Hamilton: If someone's trying to give you marriage or relationship advice, would you trade spots with them in their relationship? And if the answer is no, then you shouldn't take advice from them. Point blank. That's just the way this goes. So know that going into when you're setting these goals. So I'm starting to get a little sidetracked. This is why my notes are a thing. Let's talk about intention setting. What do you intend to do in the New Year? What do you intend on doing... That you could this can be from an outcome perspective, like what you want to happen, as well as what I think is more important. What are you intending to do from the action standpoint? These action based goals. So number one question, these are all questions you have to ask yourself, 'cause I don't wanna sit here and tell you what to do. I wanna more than anything, tell you what to think, if that makes sense. So number one, what do you intend on doing going into the New Year? Like, what do you want to do? Like, goal wise, what do you want? 'Cause here's the truth. If you do not know what you want, nothing else matters.
0:17:55.3 Jared Hamilton: It blows me away. While people apply for coaching. I'll go, "Okay, cool. What's the goal? And they go, "I don't know, you tell me." I'm like, that's not how this works. Like, I'm the blueprint. We give you the blueprint and the roadmap. I can't tell you what you want. But here's the thing. If you don't know what you want, not only can you not satisfy you, but no one else can satisfy you. You have to know what it is you want. So you need to get crystal clear on what it is you want. And I'll be honest, most people have no idea what they actually want. So you need to sit down and go, what do I intend on doing this year? What do I actually want? It can be on all levels. What do I actually want? And then tie your heartfelt reasons. Like, well, why do I want it? What are the reasons that do I have wanting to accomplish this or wanting to do this thing? Get really clear on what you want, but don't just assume it's the same as last year. A lot of people I've noticed have a lot of guilt and shame around their goals and intentions changing. What they used to want, they don't want anymore. What was their ten out of ten is now like a five out of ten.
0:18:55.8 Jared Hamilton: So this is why I think every year it doesn't have to be in January. It could be on your birthday. It could be on April. It could be whenever. Like, you don't have to do this in January. I know some people who they don't set New Year goals in January. They set new goals every year on their birthday. Right. It's just a different time. Most of mine I do annually around January, just because I like the vibe of the New Year, because the New Year is a lot of times for a lot of people. It's mental reset point. So there's nothing wrong with setting new new targets and goals and things like that. But I can tell you right now, I haven't even done mine yet because it's still December, right at the time of recording this. It's December 20th. I still got, what, ten days, 11 days left in this year. So I still got work to do. I don't want you waiting to become the new you.
0:19:40.2 Jared Hamilton: If you're still on track and on target and still executing your 2022 goals, wait to do this until 2022 is finished. Right. But what I'm saying is you have to still sit down and go, well, do I want what I thought I wanted? Do I want what I wanted last year and actually sit down and go, what do I actually want? Do I want this? Or am I going after this because this is what mom and dad wanted or because of what my mentor wanted or whatever the case is. You have to get clear on what you want and making sure it's actually what it is you want to do and what you want to go after, because a lot of times we don't know. But a lot of times our desire for what we want changes, but we feel almost married to the old desire, hopefully, if that makes sense. Okay, number two, why is that... This is my big one? I'm going to talk about this a lot in today's episode. Why is this year gonna be different?
0:20:29.5 Jared Hamilton: So really, really difficult question, especially if you're listening to this and your, let's say, past years of success have been shit. They haven't been very good. You're always restarting in January. Every January you look the same as you did last year. Every time your New Year, new me, the old you fucks it up and nothing really changes. So the question you have to ask yourself is this, why is this year going to be different? We ask clients this all the time. Whenever someone's applying for coaching, who has gone through different plans and all these things, I'm like, okay, well, how's this time going to be different?
0:21:02.0 Jared Hamilton: I know why it's gonna be different because we're the one coaching. But let's say someone says, "Oh, well, I normally don't show up for myself when I don't want to." And I go, "Well, how's it going to be different when we're the one writing your plan?" And then, because if you can't tell me why this year is gonna be different, it's not gonna be. Think about it this way. Would you date someone who has, let's say, a shitty track record with like cheating on their partner and they're like, no, I've changed. But they can't tell you how they've changed. Would you would you listen to them? I probably not. You probably wouldn't believe it. There's a saying is in our actions is I can't hear the words that you're saying because your actions are too loud. Because if you can't tell me how your actions will be different this year, it's not they're not going to be like point blank. Like, I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but that's just the truth. If you cannot explain how this year is gonna be different than last year in your shortcomings, if last year went to hell in a handbasket, I would go, "Well, what did 2021 look like?" "Oh, it was shit, too." "What about 2020?" "Oh, it was shit, too." Oh, every year we have an excuse to why our results went to the to the trash can. Oh, we're always blaming circumstances. Oh, something always comes up.
0:22:07.6 Jared Hamilton: Do you see where I'm getting at? Where if you can't explain why this is going to be different, how things are going to be different, how you are a different person. I'm sorry, you're not gonna be. It's not how... It's just, again, how the game works. You have to be able to ask yourself, why is this time gonna be different? Number three, where do you always fall short? And where are you going to course correct? So this may feed a little bit off of the question from the reflection section of where did you fall short last year? So looking at your goals this year, where do you foresee yourself falling short? And how are you going to course correct? You see what I'm saying? Where let's say, you know, you don't show up for yourself very well when you lose motivation. Cool. So how are you going to course correct when you lose motivation? It's these very simple things, because it's kind of like what I call the if this, then what game, if this happens, what always happens, then what are you gonna do? And then that way you're prepared when that thing happens. This is how we get ahead of this thing. This is being very on the offensive. It's just like it's why a football team watches their opponent's film is so they can see patterns, recognize what always happens and create a plan to stop it from happening and when ultimately.
0:23:17.0 Jared Hamilton: So my question for you is going into the New Year, where do you always fall short and how are you going to course correct? Like you can decide this right now. You're a creature of habit. You have this breadcrumb trail on where you've fallen short and where you fucked up and how the last several years have not gone well. So knowing what you know about you now, looking into the future of all right, here are my goals and intentions for 2023. Where do you foresee yourself falling short? Cool. How do you plan on overcoming that? Go ahead and make those decisions right now, because it goes back to one of my favorite sayings is, "Stay ready so you don't have to get ready" and then now you're prepared for when that moment happens. Okay. And lastly, number four, we have to reverse engineer it because I am all about... Don't get me wrong. I'm all about setting huge, crazy goals and stretching yourself and all this kind of stuff, but ultimately it comes down to our actions, and we cannot control our outcomes ultimately, but we can always control our actions, 'cause we don't wanna just set these outlandish goals and just work really hard and then be frustrated that we didn't get there. Set the goal that you wanna set, whatever it is that you wanna do. If you wanna lose the weight, if you wanna get stronger, if you want to fix your relationship with food, whatever it may be.
0:24:25.5 Jared Hamilton: But before you start executing, reverse engineer that bad boy. So, you know what you have to do on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Right. It's really simple. Let's say your goal is to save $10,000 this year. Well, how much do you... How often do you get paid? Oh, every two weeks. Well, how much do you have to save out of every two weeks paycheck to save $10,000 at the end of the year? Boom. Well, let's say whatever number that is. Well, actually, let's do the math real quick to make this even easier. I'm just dropping stuff, aren't I? Alright. So let's say you're let's say your goals to save... 'cause I can't do math in my head with a damn. Let's say you wanna save $10,000 by the end of the year. And we'll translate this to weight loss. Well, let's make it easy. $10,000 divided by twelve months. That means you need to save $833.33 each month. Okay so then my question would be, "OK, what do we have to do?" So on a monthly basis you save the $833.33 each month, what do we need to do? Let's say you have it automated where you have it automatically, a little over $400 each paycheck, go pull out into the separate account. Boom. Problem solved.
0:25:34.7 Jared Hamilton: Well, let's say you don't have $833.33 of expendable or of dispensable income every month. Well, then what do we need to downsize on? Do we need to sell the nice car and get a little bit more affordable car? Do we need to quit going out as much? Do we need to stop drinking alcohol as much? Do we need to maybe cancel a couple of subscriptions that we don't utilize? Do we need to maybe sell some bullshit we don't need to have anymore? Right. But imagine if I said, "No, my goal is to save ten grand this year," and I didn't have any plan or I didn't reverse engineer it at all. And I'm just like, Yeah, I'm gonna save money. I'm going to save the ten grand," then at the end of the year, not save money or save like a couple hundred bucks and be pissed. Actually reverse engineer the goal to an outcome... From an outcome to an action that you do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, then audit those. This is how we crush goals. Right. That was just a finance goal, for example. But let's say it's weight loss. Let's say you're... Let's say your goals, I wanna lose 50 pounds. Right. We can't control. You guys know I'm not a fan of timelines and I'm not a fan of specific things like that because there's so many nuances we can't control that.
0:26:41.0 Jared Hamilton: But let's say your goal is to have a transformation where you're fitting into whatever size pants or whatever size, whatever's. Well, cool. What do we have to do? Oh, we need to fix your relationship with food and we need to get in a calorie deficit consistently. Okay, cool. Well, that means if your relationship with food is fucked, that's our first line of defense. We have to fix that first. Well, what do we need to do to fix your relationship with food. Oh, we got to quit demonizing food. We got to start having every day the foods that we love in moderation. We have to bring up our calories so we're not starving ourselves anymore. We have to be going out of our way to have the foods that we used to restrict. So the binge eating stops. Right. It's those kind of things where you get to the point where you go, "Okay, I'm going to go every day and have three cookies in my calories every single day. And after a month, I'm going to reevaluate." And then what say then we fix your relationship with food. Then if within the weight loss side of things, it's like, "Okay, well, what do I need to do?" Alright. Well, then for me to lose, what's good weight loss progress? Let's say right around a pound a week.
0:27:31.2 Jared Hamilton: Cool. Let's play it safe. Let's say half a pound a week on average out over the next six days, six to 12 months. Cool. Well, that means I need to be in a small deficit. So I need to be eating like 1800... That's just arbitrary numbers. Let's say for you, that means 1800-1900 calories a day and 100 grams of protein a day and then three workouts a week. Boom. Now you have tangible steps of your goal. Instead of being I need to lose 50 pounds this year, the goal is, did I eat my calories? Did I hit my protein? Did I get my strength training in? Did I fix my relationship with my food? Am I working on that? Because then you can check boxes and go, "Yes, I did this. Yes, I did this. Yes, I did this." Because here's the truth. We cannot control outcomes, but we can always control actions. Ironically, actions always correlate to outcomes. I cannot control how long it will take you to lose 50 pounds. I can't control if someone can even lose 50 pounds, but we can control what our actions are doing because a lot of times people may not... Let's say you want to lose 50 pounds, but you're happy at 30 pounds because we lost weight the right way. This is why we're not married to certain outcomes like a pound, that a poundage that you want to reach or lose, because there are so many times you can't control what your body weighs, but you're still losing fat, for example.
0:28:46.1 Jared Hamilton: So this is why you don't want to just set these goals that are great. We have to reverse engineer them to get to a point where you're like, "Okay, what do I need to do to do this on the daily basis?" And then if you don't know how to do that, reach out because I got free resources that'll help. So hopefully that makes sense. Then lastly, things to know that you need to wrap your head around before you do all this and before you start executing in the new year. Number one, you have to know you won't wanna show up for yourself. You have to understand that going into the New Year, you are fired up as fuck right now. It's no wonder that so many people start off strong in January. And then it's like it used to go to like April. But now it's like by January 8th, the people are done. You have to understand that you have to. Make sure that you're going to keep showing up when you aren't going to want to. You have to make that decision now. You go to work when you don't want to. You shower when you don't want to. You go to bed when you don't want to. You take care of your kids when you don't want to. You pay your bills when you don't want to. It's because you know what it's gonna cost you if you don't do those things. This is no different. You need to wrap your head around, what's going to happen at scale if I don't start showing up for myself.
0:29:53.4 Jared Hamilton: So which means like, no, the date you normally fall off, look at your patterns of the past New Years, where do you always fall off? Oh, by mid January, by February? Oh, you make it till June? Cool. Well, we need to put a plan in place around when you always do fall off, that way you don't fall off this time. Or if you do, it's only for like 20 minutes and you're back on track. Alright. Know that you won't want to show up for yourself. You may be fired up now, but as soon as January 1st hits and you started on a goal, you just became a statistic. So what is it? 90% something of most people by then fail and fall off. You don't have to be that, but you have to get your expectations and check to where you don't do it this time. But if it happens every time the last 10 years, it's going to try it again this year. Just keep that in mind. Number two. We already touched on it, but if you cannot explain to me how this time is gonna be better, how this year is gonna be your year, how you're different this year, it's not gonna be. It's plain and simple. If you cannot logically, and like an actual action step in a mental side of things on how this is gonna be different this year, it's not going to be. That's just the way this game works. Okay. Number three. This is a big one to understand your unconscious mind, your subconscious. Our psychology is going to gravitate to what's most familiar.
0:31:10.5 Jared Hamilton: Psychology teaches us that our mind and our nervous system gravitate to what's most familiar, which means most people gravitate to laziness, giving up, quitting, mediocrity. And I need you to expect those things. This is why we sabotage. Right? If you have a decade or years in the past of failure, you're unconsciously gonna drift that way, and this is why sabotage is the thing. This is why you have to wrap your head around that. You're naturally going to fall that way. If most people are naturally lazy, most people are naturally mediocre. Most people are naturally ready to quit. Most people don't show up for themselves when they don't feel like it. So you have to be ready when those things hit you, because that's what's going to happen. It's guaranteed. It's physiology and it's psychology. It is how unconscious patterns work. So which means we have to have our plan in place, knowing that ahead of time. Right. You're not surprised when your gas tank goes empty because you just know that's what happens when you're running a car, the gas tank goes empty. So around a quarter of a tank you fill up. It's no different when these things happen. Okay. Now you have a game plan. Those are the three sections that I wanted to talk about. Reflection, intention setting, and then things to know and wrap your head around.
0:32:22.7 Jared Hamilton: Now that's your game plan. But now if you're sitting here and you're like, "Well, Jared, that's a lot. I don't really know if I can do that." And if you want to have a high level of accountability, if you want to have a tailored game plan, and if you want to have what I would call a turnkey system that is guaranteed to work with you in your life and your goals and your habits, this is where coaching comes in. I'm not making this a big coaching push, but I am telling you right now, those three big sections, the reflection, the intention setting, the things you need to know and wrap your head around all those questions, all of that shit, if that feels like a lot to you and you're like, fuck, that's a lot to swallow. I don't know if I can do that. I don't know how this year is gonna be different. I don't know how to set myself up when sabotage of being lazy and mediocrity and giving up hits. I don't know how to do any of that. I don't know how to set these goals and what's practical and what's not and how to make it sustainable. I get it.
0:33:16.6 Jared Hamilton: And if that's you and you want the simplest and easiest and the best way to fast track your results in the most sustainable way possible, that is exactly why we have our coaching program that is proven to work. So if you want a high level of accountability, a high level of support and honest to God, a guarantee that this does work and it's a complete turnkey system that is individualized to you where all you do is show up and do the damn thing and follow the plan. The results always happen, then that's what coaching is for.
0:33:47.5 Jared Hamilton: And I'll leave a link below if you want to apply for coaching. And I like to reward action takers. And because you're coming from the podcast, I'm giving away a few extra things for those that get accepted into the coaching program from the podcast, so I'll leave a link below if that's you, because you can go right to my staff's calendar, because before we ever do anything with coaching, we want to learn about you. We want to get a good history of what's going on and understand your goals and what it is you actually want. And then we wanna make sure that you understand how coaching works as well, so your expectations are on point. So nothing is a surprise to you when coaching actually gets started. And we wanna make sure you feel good about everything, too. This is not about let's sign everyone up with a credit card. We only work with people we know we can help, which is how we guarantee results. It's why our process is seamless. So and that's that.
0:34:32.9 Jared Hamilton: But otherwise, I appreciate you tuning in for today's episode. I know I haven't done a solo episode in a minute, so I tried to keep it a little bit shorter, about 35 minutes versus like an hour and 10. But otherwise, I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you so much for being here. I'll leave some other links below, like my free courses and some other resources, my socials, things like that. But otherwise, that's how to conquer 2023 and crush in the new year. But otherwise, I appreciate you listening. Be sure and check out the YouTube if you like this content and you wanna watch the YouTube video, that's there as well. Be sure to subscribe wherever you're listening to. I love you and I'll talk to you next time.
Intro to Winning the New Year:
I have this episode broken down into the following sections:
Things to Know & Wrap Your Head Around Before the New Year Starts
I broke the episode down this way because we can’t make better decisions for the next year unless we understand what happened this past year.
In addition to that, in the world of goal setting, we need to sit down and understand how to appropriately set goals and intentions.
Lastly, we have to get your expectations in a good place.
Reflection is part of the thinking process—we’re asking and answering our own questions. In the world of reflecting, question number one you have to ask yourself is: What went well?
You have to understand that the quality of the solutions you get will be based on the quality of the questions you ask yourself. So, especially going into the New Year, ask yourself: what went well this past year?
Identifying what went well in 2022 will allow you to do more of those things.
Perhaps you were more consistent—or maybe you hit rock bottom, but are now actually resolved to change your life. Write down what went well so you have momentum with that. We need momentum going into the new year.
Question number two is the antagonist to that: Where did you fall short? What didn’t go well?
These questions are really super simple. I’m the King of Simplicity. We have to get the answers we need and the questions don’t have to be crazy complicated to accomplish that.
Did you do well with your consistency in nutrition, but sucked when it came to training? Did you do well when things were okay, but when life threw you a curveball and things got stressful did you lose it? Did you start your inner work but then sabotage during the year? Where did you fall short?
You have to ask yourself these questions from a very emotionally neutral place—we’re looking for high levels of equanimity with this. You do not want to go into these reflections with your emotions all over the place.
Depending on what didn’t go well we might need to put more focus on those parts.
Don’t go into 2023 with the idea of raising your ceiling. Your best days are already good enough. We want to make your worst days a little bit better.
I want you to think of it as raising your floor. We don’t want your life to be like an adult roller coaster with huge, high highs and super horrible lows—we want this to be moderate like a kiddie roller coaster.
Question number three: Knowing what you know now, what you have gathered from questions one and two? What would you do differently?
If we reset to 8-12 months ago, what would you do differently?
For me and my weight loss goals, I would have focused more. Where I fell short was, at certain times during the year, I got distracted. I got overwhelmed and I didn’t focus as much.
There are a few areas where I did not have enough self-care and my mental bandwidth didn’t last. I got burned out. I should have put more things in place to prevent that mental exhaustion.
So, those are a couple of things for me based on what I did and didn’t do well. Now I want you to do the same thing for yourself.
Question number four—this is a very black-and-white answer: Did you do what you said you’d do?
This is two-sided. From the outcomes that you set—like losing weight, going on this trip, getting your nutrition in check, whatever goal you set—did you do it? Yes or no?
Then, why or why not?
We have to bring massive amounts of awareness to our ability to do the things we said we would do.
If I fell short on my goals, I need to get clear on why it didn't happen and where it went south. That's a spot I need to work on.
Again, we are doing this emotionlessly—no remorse or regret.
We are doing this very logically:
“Did I accomplish the goal I set out?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Oh, I set the goal too high.”
or “I had this family issue come up.”
Is it something like that or did you just give up?
Perhaps you set your goal and made your plan based on your best days, not your worst days—or maybe you tried to do it all yourself for the tenth year in a row.
We have to look at, “did I accomplish the goals I wanted to?” but we also have to look at the action standpoint: “did I do the things I said I wanted?”
Ignorance is bliss and if you don’t look at these things honestly, you can’t course-correct.
The final question you need to ask yourself while reflecting is: What do I need to let go of?
I have been talking to some clients in our group about this.
I would argue that a lot of people need to let go of the speed of things and the actual outcome itself. We need to let go of, “I need to lose weight right now.” We need to let go of the weight loss and put the actions into place to lose the weight—and let the weight loss happen when it’s supposed to.
Do we need to let go of perfectionism? Do we need to let go of old mentalities and identities that have held us back?
These past 12 days, I did Jared’s 12 Days of Christmas—and in addition to 12 days of giveaways, I did 12 days of training about identities and how to become the version of yourself that gets and accomplishes the things that you want.
A big part of identity is learning to let go because you can’t get new results using old software.
What went well?
Where did you fall short?
What would you do differently in knowing what you know now?
Did you do what you said you would do? Why or why not?
What do you need to let go of?
If you go into the new year being the same you—holding on to the same old bullshit—you will not accomplish anything. You will relive the same shitty year over and over again.
This is why we have to look at patterns.
As coaches, we are always looking at people’s patterns. Your patterns are going to try to live through and keep coming at you, so you have to be aware to make real changes.
I use the word intention, but it could be goals—I don’t have a problem with that terminology.
Often during this time of the year, you will see people go crazy goal setting or you’ll see people actually talk shit about setting goals, saying things like, “statistically most New Year’s resolutions don't work,” or saying they don’t believe in setting goals every year.
I don’t hang out with those kinds of people, because they’re usually stagnant and are often unhappy.
Right around now, you have to be really careful who you listen to in the world of achievement.
I’ll be honest, there are a lot of people who have never gotten the things you want, but will tell you how to get them.
I know a lot of broke people who are telling me how to make money. You are going to hear a lot of fat and overweight people telling you how to get fit. A lot of unhappy people will try to tell you how to find happiness.
It’s a very treacherous road and you have to be careful because there are a lot of people—very often friends and family, who are well-intentioned—that you are going to need to keep out of your head.
Sometimes you have to take the things that your loved ones tell you with a grain of salt because it’s really not good advice.
Ask yourself, if someone is trying to give you advice on weight loss or money, would you want to trade lives with them in this area? If the answer is no, then you probably shouldn’t take advice from them.
Anyway, back to intention setting.
Number one, what do you intend to do in the new year?
This can be what you want to happen and what action-based goals you have.
If you do not know what you want, nothing else matters.
If you do not know what you want, not only can no one else satisfy you, but you can’t satisfy yourself. Get crystal clear on what you want.
You can set your goals at any time—it can be your birthday, the new year, or whenever the right time for you is. Don’t be afraid to change your goals from previous years. Get clear about what you want.
A lot of times we get attached to our old goals, which is why we need to really think about this.
Number two: Why is this year going to be different?
This is a really difficult question, especially if you have been struggling year after year.
We ask our coaching clients this question, “how will this time be different?”
If you can’t tell me why this year is going to be different, then it won’t be.
There is a saying that goes, “I can not hear your words because your actions are too loud.”
Number three: Where do you always fall short and where are you going to course-correct?
This feeds off of our reflection. Where do you foresee yourself falling short and how will you course-correct?
So, if this happens, what are you going to do? Answering this ensures you are prepared when that thing happens. This is how we get ahead of ourselves.
Another saying I love is, “stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.”
Lastly, number four: we have to reverse engineer it.
I am all about setting big, crazy goals that stretch yourself, but it ultimately comes down to our actions. We cannot control our outcomes, but we can control our actions.
Set the goal you want to set, but before you start executing, reverse engineer it so you know exactly what you have to do.
For example, if your goal is to save $10,000 this year—well, how often do you get paid? How much do you need to set aside each paycheck?
$10,000/12 months = ~$833.33 per month.
If you don’t have $833 of extra income each month, what do we need to downsize?
Do we need to quit going out?
Cancel subscriptions we don’t need?
Reverse engineer the goal to something you can do on a daily/weekly/monthly basis and audit those.
That is how we crush goals.
If your goal is weight loss, what do you have to do to accomplish that?
You need to fix your relationship with food and get into a consistent deficit.
How do we fix your relationship with food?
For some, we stop demonizing certain foods. We bring your calories up to get your metabolism on track, etc.
Your relationship with food is fixed. Now what?
We start losing weight.
You want to lose a pound a week? We’ll start at half a pound a week.
What do you need to do to achieve that? How many calories, how many workouts, etc.?
If you reverse engineer your goals, you evolve your goal into actions—you can check boxes.
You cannot control outcomes, but you can control actions—and action, ironically, leads to outcomes.
You may find that you are happy losing 30 lbs as opposed to 50 lbs.
To recap intention setting:
What do you intend on doing going into the New Year?
Why is this year going to be different?
Where do you always fall short and where are you going to course correct?
Reverse engineer it
We can only control actions not outcomes
Things to Know & Wrap Your Head Around Before the New Year Starts:
Our last section today is things to know and wrap your head around.
Number one: you won’t want to show up.
Right now you’re fired up, but you need to make sure you make the decision now to keep showing up for yourself—even when you don’t want to.
Put a plan in place so that when you don’t want to show up for yourself, you can keep yourself on track.
Number two—which we touched on earlier: if you can’t explain how this year will be different, it won’t be.
Number three: understand that you're going to unconsciously gravitate toward what’s most familiar.
Most people gravitate toward:
You have to be ready when those things hit you. Our minds and our physiology will gravitate toward what is familiar.
You won’t want to show up
If you can’t explain how this year will be different it won’t be
You're unconsciously going to gravitate to what’s most familiar
You need to expect those to happen
Now, you have a game plan.
If you are sitting here and still don’t know how to tackle these things yourself—that’s where coaching comes in.
The point of this isn’t to make this a big coaching push, but if you don’t know how to go about doing these things, that is why we have our coaching program.
So, if you want:
a tailored gameplan
a turn-key system that’s guaranteed to work
Apply for coaching below, we’re always happy to help!
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