Tactical Tips for MASTERING Your Mindset ft. Daniel James | DFIO Ep.242
Today, I interviewed a good friend of mine, Daniel James.
I wanted to get Dan on the show because he and I are so on the same wavelength when it comes to the inner-game side of transformation, and not a lot of other coaches talk about this stuff. You’ll hear some coaches say things about getting your “mind right,” but it’s often very vague, and not tactical—almost like a buzzword–it’s actually one of my biggest pet peeves. Dan, however, is not one of those.
Again, he and I believe a lot of the same things when it comes to inner-game strategies, so that's what we got into today–how his approaches his clients with this stuff, the strategies surrounding mindset, and how we can make this inner-game easier and simpler.
If you like my usual content, you're going to LOVE this episode!
00:00 – Introduction
00:44 – Our sponsors
05:05 – About today's episode
06:58 – Dan's background
14:16 – Overcoming
22:33 – How Dan approaches mindset
27:52 – Changing your identity
39:08 – Foundations, habits, and routines
49:37 – Jared's outro and how to sign up for coaching
Transcript (click to open)
Tactical Tips for MASTERING Your Mindset ft. Daniel James | DFIO Ep.242
0:00:11.0 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, friends? Welcome back to a brand new episode of Dieting From The Inside Out, I don't care if this is your first episode or if this is your even a podcast vet since it was the Hamilton Trained podcast. Either way, my name is Jared Hamilton. I'm your host and I'm grateful as fuck that you're here, it's funny, I already just recorded this entire intro, but as soon as I'm like... We're like five minutes in or whatever, I looked and my mic wasn't on, I got a monitor right here and my mic was not on. [chuckle] So we're doing this again. But otherwise, I really hope you're doing well and I appreciate you being here. Now, before we get into today's episode with my buddy Dan, which you guys are going to love, I definitely wanna have a big, big, big thank you to the sponsors of the show. Sponsor number one is FlexPro Meals. If you guys are not utilizing them or someone like them, it's just making weight loss and your goals harder. Now, I'm not saying that like, If you don't do this, you're not gonna be successful, what I'm saying is, I know in my life convenience is everything.
0:01:09.8 Jared Hamilton: I know like, it's one of those things where we see it all the time with clients where either life is crazy, you're running from soccer game to soccer game or work overtime, school, the whole nine yards, where sometimes food and meals aren't the most convenient, especially if you're on a journey to get to your goals. This is when we end up in either drive-thrus, waiting in line having $14 meals, and they're not very conducive for weight loss, and you have a 1500 calorie meal in one sitting, whatever the case is. Or the same thing, but at a gas station, so you're like, "Ah shit," and then you gotta pop into a gas station and figure out, What's the best to-gets for your goals? Or let's say you just don't even eat because you didn't bring food or whatever the case is and then your hunger gets super crazy, so you binge that night setting you back. Like, that's the last thing I want for you in so many cases. Someone like Flex...
0:01:54.2 Jared Hamilton: Or a company like FlexPro, that's who I like to use, and the sponsor of the show, it just is such a no-brainer because number one, their food comes straight to your front door every month, however much you end up wanting to get, so it's like the Amazon Prime vibe but then also, it's more affordable than fast food, you're gonna save so much money, it's gonna be so much more affordable than fast food, and in a lot of cases way more affordable than a lot of these other meal delivery services but then also, it tastes fucking amazing, it's made by a chef. If you just go on their website, flexpromeals.com, or hit the link below, you can just search through the menu and you're gonna be like, "How the fuck do they get this kinda food in that low of calories with that much protein?"
0:02:30.7 Jared Hamilton: And I'm telling you firsthand, it tastes amazing. People message me and they're like, "Alright Jared, real talk. Is it actually that good?" And I'm like, "Yeah. Like, of course, I have my favorite meals, but like, yes, it's absolutely amazing, so good, I love it, it's a staple in my day but then it's also going to help make things easier 'cause you also know where all your numbers are at, how many calories are in that, how many grams of protein, the whole nine yards."
0:02:51.1 Jared Hamilton: And it's one of those things, even if you don't... It's not like you're eating every meal like that, it's just one of those on-deck things for keeping your shit together when things get a little bit rough and it's just gonna help you in the long run. So if that's your cup of tea, definitely check them out either at flexpromeals.com or hit the link in the description. But, excuse me, I wanna save you money, so if you go use my code "hamiltontrained," it does support your boy, which I appreciate, but then at the same time, it's also gonna save you like 20% at checkout, which makes it even more of a no-brainer, so definitely get into that.
0:03:22.9 Jared Hamilton: Number two sponsor is 1st Phorm, you guys know that supplements are a big thing, they are not everything but they absolutely play a role in this game of transformation and in making your life better. But the problem is, I don't want your money that you're spending on supplements to go to the wrong places or with things that aren't the quality that you need. Like, that's the hard thing with supplements I talk about a lot.
0:03:44.1 Jared Hamilton: Whereas a lot of supplement companies, like some of the big mainstream ones that are sold in like Walmarts, they are getting a lot... They're getting sued for inaccurate labels, getting sued for like filler bullshit. That kinda stuff. Or a lot of these companies aren't actual companies, they're just made in someone's basement. So it's one of those things that gets sticky, but it's not as regulated. So this is why for me 1st Phorm was a no-brainer when it came to us partnering together because not only... You can do all the research in the world and everything is right there, from a certainty and credibility level of safety, the whole nine yards of it, everything from the CEO to how they run the business, the core values, the whole nine yards. So just for me, it was a no-brainer to work with them, it's what I take is what we recommend to clients, the whole thing.
0:04:29.5 Jared Hamilton: So if you aren't sure where to start with supplements and you're just like, "I don't know if I even need them." I have in the description of the podcast my supplement YouTube video where I break down like what I take, what we suggest for most clients, what to avoid, what to lean into, that kinda thing. But if you end up wanting to go actually like invest in in really good-quality supplements, like a protein powder, pre-workout or whatever the case is, I highly suggest 1st Phorm, and if you go click the link below, I can pull a good old Amazon Prime, so to speak, and save you some shipping 'cause Amazon has us all spoiled. But definitely check that out at the link below, and if you have any questions, let me know. But otherwise, let's get into the goods of today's episode.
0:05:08.0 Jared Hamilton: Today, I interviewed a good friend of mine, Dan James, and he is a friend of mine I've gotten to know over Instagram, he's such a good dude, he's from the UK, so hop, skip, and a jump from me, but Dan is such a good human, he's such a good coach. And the reason I wanted to get him on and just talk about this stuff was because him and I are on a very similar wavelength when it comes to the headspace, the mindset in the inner-game side of transformation. And it's funny, because not a lot of other coaches talk about this stuff. Right? 'Cause one of my biggest pet peeves is like you'll hear coaches talk about fixing your mindset or getting your head right but it's so vague and it's almost airy-fairy and it's not tactical and it's almost like a buzzword anymore. Like I don't know very many people and coaches who are like, "Alright, let's fix your mindset," and they don't even know what that means. Or it's just like... It's just woo-woo or whatever the case is. So Dan though is not one of those. We have a lot of... I believe a lot of the same things and are on the same wavelength with this stuff.
0:06:08.9 Jared Hamilton: So I wanted to get him on and talk about his perspective and where he approaches people with and some of the mindset and inner-game strategies on how to make this game easier and simpler for you and ultimately get you better results. Not just in your weight loss, but if you do this right, it's gonna make your relationship better, your work better, your life better, your happiness better. So that's what we got into on today's episode. So I'll shut up now and we'll go straight to the interview with myself and Dan. If you haven't already, be sure and subscribe to the podcast. We're everywhere, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, the whole nine yards, but also, we are recording and putting all episodes on YouTube, so if you would rather watch like this, like Dan and I actually go back and forth on this interview, and wanna watch it, then that video is up on YouTube as well, but otherwise I'll shut up now, I'll get Dan, I'll talk to you in just a second.
0:06:58.9 Jared Hamilton: What's up, man? How are you? How have things been? I know it's been a minute since you and I have really talked, so.
0:07:01.5 Dan James: Honestly, mate, really, really good. My business is going very, very well. I've had a lot of strange things happen but it's like it's naturally happened, if that makes sense, like a good thing that's gone on, so yeah. Are we living now, by the way, or are we just...
0:07:15.2 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are, we're recording. Yeah.
0:07:15.6 Dan James: Oh, sorry. I'm sorry, sorry.
0:07:16.9 Jared Hamilton: No, you're good. Well, I usually start all my episodes recording because I think people like listening to just the bullshit banter back and forth, and then something usually cool comes of that but yeah. 'Cause you're over in the UK. Right? Like, you're across the pond, so.
0:07:34.2 Dan James: Yeah, I can't remember how I first originally came across you, I was thinking about this the other day because I came...
0:07:38.1 Jared Hamilton: I don't remember it either.
0:07:40.9 Dan James: Mate, I think I was stalking you randomly, like "This guy's really, really cool." I looked at your content, "Now this guy's hilarious, he's on the same level as me." And I remember watching that Arete Syndicate thing and I remember you asking the Q and A and I was just like, "This is a sign, I need to reach out to this guy."
0:07:54.4 Jared Hamilton: I remember that. Oh, I love that.
0:07:54.5 Dan James: Mate, just weird. Yeah, you're so cool but I say, all your content is just amazing, so ever since then, then reaching out with you... As I said, well, just following your stuff, I'm psyched, I just love how you deliver your... And it's just very much like how I deliver my content as well, and like I said, when I had you on my podcast all those... Over a year and a half ago, you're my first guest. Ever since then, it's just like everything about you just resonates with me.
0:08:13.5 Jared Hamilton: I appreciate that.
0:08:14.6 Dan James: And that for me is the best thing. So you've moved very weirdly into the same stretch that I have, not through like copying each other but like the mindset stuff, and it's only recently that I think that's got a bit of a spike in this space. Most people don't normally talk about it but you clearly get it because you can tell people who get it and you can tell people who don't get it, and you get it and I'm fine, mate. This content is so good.
0:08:37.4 Jared Hamilton: I love it. Well, that's why I wanted to have you on the show 'cause you get it. Right? 'Cause what's funny since... It's funny, you bringing up Arete. I'm actually going to that same event this weekend, there's another one of those live events with Frisella and Mylett and the whole Arete squad, so I'll be actually back with that group of people this coming weekend in Tennessee, so.
0:08:58.2 Dan James: I saw that, I saw that get posted as well, I was like, "Oh, I'm really busy this weekend 'cause I'm actually going to Barbados next week." So this weekend is me just getting ready. And I saw it and I was just like, "Curse the time difference."
0:09:09.5 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, for sure.
0:09:11.5 Dan James: I was like, "Oh, man, I can't make it 'cause they're doing that live recording again," so I'm frustrated about that.
0:09:16.1 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, no, I get that, I get that, it's interesting, so like I wanna get into some of the... Like, really piggyback off of what we were talking about with the the mindset stuff, where like most people go wrong with it but before we get into that, I'd love it if you would just talk a little bit about like who you are, your story, for those that aren't very familiar with you and your work.
0:09:30.7 Dan James: Yeah, so I'll go all the way back to the beginning, I fell into the fitness industry, so I actually went to university in America. I was on a soccer scholarship, very, very good at soccer.
0:09:42.2 Jared Hamilton: What area?
0:09:42.7 Dan James: I was in Iowa. So my university is actually closed down now, it's called Ashford University and essentially it's like a small independent Iowa University, and then what happened was this massive corporate company from California came and took over it and basically what they did, they stripped it of all its assets and they basically closed down, so quite sad. But it was very specific to sports, it was just a sporting University, so our university soccer team is very, very good, it's NAIA, and we were nationally ranked in the top five by the time I'd left, so again, good team. I then fell into fitness industry because before I left to go to America, I got my personal training qualification, but I only did it to carry on playing soccer at college, so I wasn't really bothered about the fitness industry, didn't really care. I came back, wasn't mentally okay, but didn't realize I wasn't mentally okay, and I basically sat there playing computer games. My mom was like, "You need to get a job, you're a bum."
0:10:28.9 Dan James: I was just like, Alright, okay. Is that so? Is that right?" So I was like, "What all do I like? 'Cause I... " "Well, I enjoy going to gym, I've got this qualification." So I just fell into it. So I ended up working for this big commercial gym in the UK as a fitness coach, and then what happened was, I was going above and beyond for these people. People would come in, they get a free program with me and then basically every three or four months they could come back and get a program rewritten, and basically the personal training manager came to me one day and said basically, "You've got to come and be a personal trainer here or we're gonna get rid of you because people aren't having personal training because they're just coming to you for these plans, just waiting." So I was just like, "Right, okay." So then they're like, "Right."
0:11:04.9 Dan James: So they gave me this literature, they gave me this uniform, said, "Right, as of next week, you're personal training." I remember the first personal training session I did. Mate, I literally felt like I had stolen this woman's money, I had no idea what I was doing.
0:11:15.1 Jared Hamilton: No.
0:11:17.1 Dan James: And it felt so uncomfortable, I thought, "Right, I can't feel like this again," because I felt so so uncomfortable that I literally spent in that first six months over 5000 pounds studying.
0:11:26.4 Jared Hamilton: Wow.
0:11:27.8 Dan James: And then I got hooked on studying, so I was like, "This is great." And then from there, I very quickly progressed from six months of doing personal training to then working at the top personal training company in the UK, so that's when I then really honed my skills and basically learned how to get transformations with people. And then going through that process, I then ended up competing and began a modeling contract. So I was six-pack shredded, living "my best life," but very, very quickly my life fell apart, I left the gym I was at, I started going off by myself and doing my own thing and I then became massively depressed, I then basically hit rock bottom. I've got this amazing business with amazing transformations, I was at this top place and I've lost everything but on paper my life was amazing, six-pack shredded, model on magazines, had all these women around me, but I was absolutely miserable. And it was a very... I'm not sure about your own journey if you've ever been there or any listeners have been there, but when I look back at it now, it was very, very dark.
0:12:26.4 Jared Hamilton: Sure.
0:12:26.7 Dan James: I didn't realize how bad it was until I really looked back. And then I kept telling myself, "It's gonna get better, it's gonna get better, it's gonna get better." And through some miracle, I pulled myself out of there. Don't know to this day how I did it. But then I realized, "I need to swallow my ego here and get another job." So I started working in a bar, surrounding myself with people again and slowly got back on my feet. I then figured, "I don't want to ever be out of control of my mind again." I didn't like the fact that I was out of control, so I just threw myself into this self-development space. And then, again, Tony Robbins, basically my girlfriend at the time... I had like my last $200 in my account... Or pounds in my account, and I bought a Tony Robbins audio thing.
0:13:02.7 Jared Hamilton: Yes. Yeah.
0:13:04.1 Dan James: And literally cost 250, so I went 50 pounds into debt. So bearing in mind, during this time being depressed, I'd accumulated a lot of debt, so I'd lost my flat, I'd lost my business, I was in a lot of debt and I was just like, "I need to do something. Andy Frisella keeps talking about Tony Robbins, right. I'm gonna listen to this thing, so I did." So I literally just paid this 250 pound, I borrowed $50... Or pounds off my missus and just went all in and it was a... I can't remember what the course was but that was it, it opened my eyes to everything. I then started to listen to Andy Frisella a bit more, I remember him talking about this book, Law of Attraction, so I bought that and I literally was like a sponge, and then from there my trajectory went sky-high, I managed to build everything back I'd lost.
0:13:43.8 Dan James: And then I realized, "Well, I can apply this to my clients." And that's basically what I've done. I've then now gone even deeper into this mindset stuff because I realized that what I thought I knew about myself, I don't know anything. I really realized that I don't know a lot, so now I've really deep-dived, just spent five figures on this other like mentorship thing I'm doing now to really deep-dive myself, and the deeper I get into it, the more I've realized, "That is the missing piece that people don't have when it comes to their goals, and that's why I'm... " Basically I would say I'm obsessed with it because I am.
0:14:16.7 Jared Hamilton: I love that. Dude, that's so cool, I love that story, I love that, the whole thing about... I love a good story of overcoming, you know what I mean? Like it's funny, we all like to look at those stories with other people but a lot of us don't like to be that own story. Right? Like we see... Like I talk with clients about this a lot, where it's like we all love that story of rags to riches or, "I was broken and now I overcame and all of that," but how many times do we see a client, they're struggling, they're at their rock bottom and they think, "That's it." It's like, "You could be that story right now if you get your shit together. If you get your headspace right, if you get your actions in check and you start just executing, you can be that story." You know what I mean?
0:14:56.3 Dan James: That's the thing but no one gives them... For me, this is the most frustrating thing for myself that I found as well. The information is out there but you've got to really search for it. The world that we live in perpetuates mediocrity.
0:15:09.9 Jared Hamilton: Oh, 100%.
0:15:12.2 Dan James: It perpetuates people being fat, overweight, because it's easy, and that's the thing when you really look at it, so for me, when I talk to my clients, I just say to them, "It's not your fault because you don't know any better. However, once you hear this information from myself, from my podcast guests, it's like you then can't use ignorance as an excuse because before you didn't know you have a choice but now you have a choice. What are you gonna do with that choice?" And then the whole thing that again that you will do and I do is we empower the client because at the end of the day, they are the superhero in their story, it's not about me, it's not about you, it's about them, we are just the guide. I say, "They're Luke Skywalker and I'm Yoda."
0:15:48.9 Jared Hamilton: Yes.
0:15:49.0 Dan James: "I'm here to guide you. Like I'm not here to be the hero, it's not about me, it's about you, but you've got to meet me halfway. I can only give you 50% of this information, you have to give me at least 50% back because I can't reach in and do it for you, you have to want it." And I find that you perform this as well. At the start, it's just giving the client the belief because they don't have the belief in themselves, so we've got to have that belief for them until they start to believe in themselves. Does that make sense?
0:16:14.2 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, 100%, without a doubt, I don't think I could have said that any better. It's two-sided but like just because some... Like the way I like to word it is, Just because something may not be someone's fault but it's now their responsibility. Right? Like we all have stories of shit that happened in our childhood or us just being blatantly ignorant about something but just because something wasn't like my fault, that doesn't mean it's not my responsibility. Right? And so we talk with clients about like, "It's not your fault you struggle with this, it's not your fault because you didn't know any better, but guess what? You know now, so now it's your responsibility." It goes back to to just taking radical ownership even in that situation, even if something isn't your fault, even if it's stuff mom taught you when you were six or life happened to you or whatever, it may not be your fault but it's still your fucking life. Right? So now it is your responsibility.
0:17:05.6 Dan James: The thing for me with that is actually the part of responsibility, that's the thing, it's a case of, "Yes, this thing may have happened to you, wasn't your fault, blah, blah, and yes, you used food as a protection mechanism." Okay, cool, so now we've identified that, we've unpicked that, and we now know the cause of it, what are you gonna do?" You're gonna carry on playing the victim because at the minute what you're doing is you're giving your power and your energy away to this thing, always saying, "It's this thing, I'm this because of that." That's so disempowering, and what you're doing is you're allowing your outside circumstances to determine your life, but actually when you realize, "Right, this thing's happened, what part did I play in this?" Even if it's so small among you, take back that bit of responsibility, because that one bit of responsibility gives you your power back over that person, that thing or that situation, you can then use that to do something.
0:17:51.9 Dan James: Because like I said, that cliche thing, your past doesn't equal your future, it's genuinely the truth. Yes, this thing happened, but how long are you gonna keep beating on that drum until you realize, 'This isn't helping me with my life." And then you let it go, you forgive the person, you forgive yourself. Again, you're not saying that, "It's okay," you don't make it... Okay, you're not saying, "I forgive you for this thing," you're forgiving for you, it's not about them, it's about you, for your peace. Forgive for you and then let go. I even get clients to write breakup letters to themselves.
0:18:21.5 Jared Hamilton: I love that, love that.
0:18:23.8 Dan James: Like the old you, just let go like... Because again, especially if someone's morbidly obese, and normally... Again, massive, massive stereotyping here, but normally to get that big is a defense mechanism for something.
0:18:34.6 Jared Hamilton: Sure.
0:18:37.3 Dan James: Normally. And people hate themselves because of that, "I hate how I look, I've done this to myself." But when you understand you've done that for a defense mechanism and that's probably kept you alive, you can then be like, "Well, actually, wow, that's actually really cool." You can come from a place of love and compassion then. "Wow, I've created this to survive this thing or this environment from when I was younger." Okay, that's amazing but it's now no longer serving you, so break up with yourself in place of love and compassion. "Well, then, you fat disgusting slob," blah, blah, blah. No, no, no, no, no. "Thank you so much for being there when I needed you, you have saved me. You've been there through so much stuff for me. However, I now no longer need you, I need to do this by myself. Thank you." And just let it all out.
0:19:24.8 Dan James: And it can be really, really emotional, it could be really, really hard because you're having a really raw, honest conversation with yourself, which most people don't like to do. But you're then taking ownership and then you burn it and then you write the next script of your life and you keep going. Like who do you actually then want to become? And you're not losing the weight, you're not losing the fat, you're releasing it because you've held on to it for so long. Just release it. Just let it go.
0:19:48.0 Jared Hamilton: That's so good, man. That reminds me of a lot of one of the things that we have clients do a lot who are really struggling with this, is, that's inner child 101. Right?
0:19:53.7 Dan James: Yes.
0:19:54.4 Jared Hamilton: Psychology teaches us that we all have an inner child. And the way that I like to view it is, We don't wear the same clothes we wore when we were six but we're walking around with the same identity from when we were six or the same beliefs then when we were six. But too often people don't realize that in a really fucked up sense, whatever you're struggling with served you, it's all you knew. Like when we had a client one time, that her binge-eating came from... Mom and Dad didn't take care of her very well, so when she went to the neighbor's house across the street, they knew it, they got it, so they're like, "Hey, so-and-so, just eat whatever you want." And so she learned to binge. Every day she would go over to little Sarah's house because she didn't have food at home, and she's now an adult struggling with binge-eating. And I'm like, "You have to understand that that little girl of you saved you with that, so you need to quit treating yourself like an asshole for binge-eating and you need to write a letter to six-year-old you thanking her for saving you but also saying, 'Hey, I'm a big girl now, I appreciate what you did when we were little but we don't have to do that right now, but thank you though.'"
0:20:58.8 Jared Hamilton: And guess what? So-and-so doesn't struggle with binge-eating anymore because like we... I always say, If we don't go in and do the inner work the... I'm sorry, If we don't go in and do the inner work, the outer work just doesn't work. That's why I've... I don't know if you've noticed or not, I've rebranded the entire podcast to what I call "dieting from the inside out" 'cause of this same kinda concept. It's one of the first things like in our coaching program, our very first stage before we let people go into weight loss and things like that, we go right into what I call "dieting from the inside out" because no weight loss stuff matters if this isn't taken care of. You know what I mean? Which is why...
0:21:29.8 Dan James: That's exactly what I did.
0:21:30.8 Jared Hamilton: Oh, well. That's so rich.
0:21:32.4 Dan James: But I do it along with, so I don't do it before, but I'm sorry, "Right, you've come to me for a reason, cool, but let's just set you off on the normal stuff, the nutrition training program but, just so you know, when you're working with me, we're doing this stuff as well." So it's like you're doing it very blatantly. Obviously, you've changed your name, people know what they're getting. I'm a bit like, "Oh, yeah, I'll give you what you want but also here's a massive undertone of what you need, it's like a surprise."
0:21:55.6 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the big reason why we did that was, so many people, they hire a coach because they're invested financially... They're invested financially, as soon as they hire a coach, they're like, "Alright, I'm gonna do this for six months, 12 months," the time clock starts. And they're like, "I've got to do this as fast as possible." I'm like, "Yo, no, that's not how we're doing this. We got to take a step back. Get your inner game, get your relationship with you fixed. Yeah, we're gonna get this fitness shit together along the way but I don't want you even worrying about dieting right now because your food relationships, your sabotage, your self-deprecating behavior is gonna ruin everything."
0:22:33.0 Jared Hamilton: So I'm curious, for you, where do you normally start with this with people? And this is why I wanted to talk about it, is because you and I are on the same wavelength with all this stuff and I love the fact that you're bringing in... 'Cause we do the same thing, bringing in all these other areas, all the books, all of the personal development into the fitness space, no one does it, or no one does it right, I should say.
0:22:54.6 Dan James: Agreed.
0:22:55.6 Jared Hamilton: But the concept of everyone's like, "Just fix your mindset or get your head game in check," it's so vague and it's so clickbaity and I think people are like, "Yeah, get my mindset right." And it's like, "What the fuck does that even mean?" It's like when someone says, "Just eat better." And it's like, "What's that even mean?" So for you, do you see, I know everyone's different, but any specific ways to go about when you start to fix someone's inner game and headspace and mindset? Because it's such a vague, clickbaity subject, when it comes to practicality, and tactically speaking, where do you normally like to start most people at or where do you see people go south the most?
0:23:32.3 Dan James: So for me, I like to start mine very, very basic, so like I said, when it comes to the dieting phase, I am not a big believer in pushing someone hard. Again, I make it very clear to someone, "You've got to stay with me for at least a certain amount of time." And during the process, I'll basically educate them on these things. And so basically, just real stuff, basic simple stuff like getting steps in. Again, most people say, "Everyone knows you got to get to 10,000 steps." Cool, but if most people coming to you are doing 3,000 steps, why go for 10? So I'll start them with like 5000 steps.
0:23:57.3 Jared Hamilton: I love that.
0:23:57.7 Dan James: So basic, simple, but again, you're getting outside. And when you're walking, you're doing it for your mindset, so you've got to either listen to an audiobook or a podcast, so you're doing something. And then get them to read and get them to journals, so straight off the bat, there are three things all my clients have to do, they've got to read a nonfiction book, they've got to walk, and they've got to journal. Now with the journaling, I'd start off... I think you did a video on this the other day, which literally, I was like, "Wow." 'Cause I think you did a video on how to start journaling. And I start off, "Today, I'm feeling." And you basically say something very, very similar, and you basically just feel right. So what you're doing with that is and people don't quite understand this, what you're doing is, by free-writing, the rule is you basically set yourself time of five, 10, 15 minutes, you set a timer and you're not allowed to let the pen stop moving because what's happening is, you're turning off your conscious ability to think because you can't think that quickly, so then your subconscious is going to talk to you. After you finish, you've then got what your subconscious is really thinking, and then from there, so again, the clients just sit and deal with that.
0:24:46.7 Dan James: Now, along the process, my clients get educational videos, where basically you just talk to them about the basic stuff. For example, of course, we've got the sausage machine, which is really really simple and funny and it makes everyone laugh, I teach as well. I taught this... I talk about this stuff in schools as well, so I go into schools now and I public-speak on mindset and mental health, and this is a principle I always use. So I call this "sausage machine." The principle is very, very basic. "What you put in is what you get out." So you put beef in, turn the handle, get beef sausages. Pork, da, da, da, whatever it is. Very, very simple. What do most people put in? It's fear, regret, worry, hatred, anger, social media, and they wonder why they've got this shit sausage., which again is their life.
0:25:23.4 Jared Hamilton: I love that so much. Yeah, a hundred percent.
0:25:23.6 Dan James: But it is. So again, so certainly, you can call it a life machine, a manifestation machine, it's basically how the brain works, so I get them from the very very start to just become aware, "What are you putting into your sausage machine on a daily basis?" Because fundamentally what people do is they wait, they wait for this perfect sausage. I'm like, "Your life isn't just going to turn perfect, you have to put the right ingredients in, so how about we start doing some things like gratitude, love, compassion, success, vision, all of these things and then we go from there?" And that's how I work, I then educate them on nutrition, I educate them on the training because for me, fundamentally, as you know, in the fitness space, people like to push the thing, keto, intermittent fasting, whatever it is. And do these things work? Yes, but they work because of principles. And people don't teach principles, they teach the thing.
0:26:11.2 Dan James: So I teach my clients the principles, you've gotta be in a calorie deficit, that's it. Scientifically, you have to. However you get there is up to you. If you want to be ketogenic and be boring for the rest of your life and never have carbs, knock yourself out. Who am I to say that? But at the end of day, boring. Cool.
0:26:25.5 Dan James: Here's from the basics, teaching from the basics training and basically what you're doing is you're empowering the client, so when they're going through the journey and they're sat there and they've eaten this healthy food and their partner or their friend says, "Well, why are you eating that?" They're not there like, "Oh, because Dan said so." And they're like, "Well, that's fucking shit and boring." And they're like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, give him pizza." If they can be like, "Well, actually, I've got some protein here because, you know what? Protein is the Greek word for primary, so actually, it's the most important macronutrient." "Do you know what macronutrients are?" "Well, macronutrients, there's three of them, but... " And they start to educate, then their friends are then like, "Oh, wow. Cool, tell me a bit more." So what you're doing is you're empowering the client to know why they're doing what they're doing, and that's the key thing. Now then from here what happens is, you slowly progress and then we start to work on the belief systems and what I call the "habit loop" 'cause fundamentally, we're just creatures of habit.
0:27:14.6 Dan James: We're just stuck in thought patterns, and normally, it's negative thought patterns. As you've alluded to, when people start, they're buzzing, they're like, "Right. Let's get at it." So I don't normally come across any problems for the first three to four weeks, which then means we can get some good results to start off with and then when I hit the first problem, it's like, "Right. Let's now talk about this," and then we break it down. That's the thing for me. I've got a formula, pain plus reflection equals progress. So when they go through the pain, we reflect together and that's how we then make the progress and then we go on. So the way that I do it is, as they come up at each thing, I then educate and teach them. That make sense?
0:27:50.8 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, I love that.
0:27:52.0 Dan James: It's basically about belief systems, it's fundamentally about belief systems, it's about their identity, how they see themselves. Because if you identify as, "So I am fat, I'm no good, I'm never going to lose weight." Guess what? You never are going to lose weight because you see yourself as a fat person and what's gonna happen is you'll lose the 20-30 pounds, but your identity is still, "I am fat," your self-image is, "I am fat," and you'll snap straight back there. So you have to change the identity. It's like a thermostat in a room. I know that Ed Mylett talks about this a lot.
0:28:19.9 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, dude. Absolutely.
0:28:20.0 Dan James: And Bob Proctor talks about it as well, it's the same thing. Like if your thermostat is set at 40, and you go down to 30, so you lose the 10 pounds, you're gonna find a way to gain it back again. So you have to change your thermostat, you have to change how you see yourself. And that's what people don't fundamentally do, which is what you're saying there. Coaches talk about mindset, they have no idea what mindset even is, they think it's just a buzzword.
0:28:38.3 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, it's mind-boggling, 'cause that's the thing people don't understand, from the identity... Excuse me. 'Cause our identity... I love it, it's the best analogy ever that Mylett uses. It's like a thermostat. Its sole role is to regulate the environment to where the setting is at. I heard an amazing, amazing analogy, I can't remember who said it, but it may have been Mylett again, but it was identities and weight losses. Most people struggling, their identity is, "I'm a fat person who got lucky and lost 20 pounds." Versus being overweight and with the identity of, "I'm my most optimal self," or, "I'm my most high-potential self and the healthiest version of me," the whole nine yards, "and I'm just going through a rough time." There's a difference. It's like from let's say a financial... Let's say someone has the goal of being really wealthy, instead of it being, "Well, I'm broke and I got lucky in business." Then you're gonna find a way to go through a slump in business. It's, "Oh no, I have the identity of this version, a millionaire, a super-successful business owner, I'm just going through a rough time."
0:29:40.8 Jared Hamilton: It's where your anchor is set at because the best way I've heard it... I've had him on my podcast a couple times. His name is Nick Ross. Nick talks about... "The identity doesn't go down without a fight because it just fights back super hard because of... " what we talked about earlier, that it serves us at some point, so there's like this protective mechanism within it.
0:29:58.9 Dan James: Well, it's not even that, it's like if you've been thinking a certain way for 20, 30, 40 years of your life, what makes you think that you can change it in six months? It just doesn't make any sense, you've got to think you're like grooves on an old CD player or a CD thing. The grooves are so deep, as soon as you put on to another thing, it's gonna skip back to its old thing. And here's the key thing as well that I use with this, you said that about the fat loss. A lot of the people who are overweight and got a lot of fat to lose, their identity is, "I am fat." And I just try and reframe that for them. "No, no, no, you have fat, you are not fat. Like you also have thumbnails, you're not a thumbnail."
0:30:35.6 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, I love that.
0:30:36.1 Dan James: So it's like, "What are you identifying as? You have fat, you are not fat. Because then what happens is if you identify as I am fat, when you start to lose that identity and you start to drop the fat, you then lose who you are. But it's like, "No, no, you are Jared, you are Jared, you have a body." For me, my whole thing with this is like, "You're a spiritual being with an intellect, with a physical body, so you want...
0:30:56.8 Jared Hamilton: Bob Proctor 101 right there, man.
0:31:00.2 Dan James: There we go, since I'm doing all this stuff, so I'm learning with this top mentor, I don't know if you've seen the little thing in the background here, but I'm learning with one of his top students right now at this place where...
0:31:07.8 Jared Hamilton: Really? Oh, I love that, I love that.
0:31:10.3 Dan James: But it connects everything together that I've learned, and that's it, it's so simple and basic. But fundamentally, I say, "So we have this body." "But I am fat." "No, no, no, you are so much more than that, you are Jared, you are hilarious, you're very, very funny. Again, I don't know you personally, from Instagram, you're hilarious, you're clearly very intellectual, you've got all these other things. Your body does not define you as a person but fundamentally, if you're the funny fat friend, who are you without being funny? So who are you without being fat? Are you just funny?" "But maybe people won't find me funny if I'm not fat." It's like you're putting your whole identity and self-worth into just how your physical body looks rather than seeing all these amazing other qualities that you actually have and people admire in you.
0:31:46.8 Jared Hamilton: Well, one thing I say a lot is, If your identity is made up of things that you don't like about yourself, that you're trying to change, that's a fucking hellacious uphill battle you'll probably never win. We talk about this a lot with binge-eating and emotional eating and things like that because people don't say that they struggle with binge-eating, they say, "I'm a binger, I'm an emotional eater." But that gets really scary because, just because you did something doesn't mean that's who you are. No one came out of the womb being a binge eater. But we'll talk with clients and they'll say, "Oh, I'm a binger." And I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on a second. Binger is a noun, binge-ate or binge-eating is a verb, it's just something that you did." You got to be careful when you start putting nouns with things, a person, place or a thing, it's who you are.
0:32:32.4 Jared Hamilton: If I'm Jared, the binger or I'm... Things like that, or Jared the emotional eater, what's gonna happen when I go two weeks without doing that? I'm gonna find a way, it's gonna trigger like clockwork to do it again and get back to my identity. But when you're like, "No, no, no, I'm this." And decide who you want to be, then all of a sudden we can address the activity that's not so great and get in to heal that over time but we have to get solidified who you actually are and then act in congruence with that. But the problem is most people's identity they keep because somehow they got here, they didn't on purpose put it there and say, "This is who I want to be."
0:33:06.7 Dan James: But that's the thing, you've then got to... Because if you're trying to destroy these paradigms, these things, these behaviors, these habits, you're trying to get rid of them. Once you get rid of them, you have to replace them with something else. And that's what a lot of people don't tend to do, they're like, "Oh, I'm gonna stop doing this thing." "Okay, so you stop doing that thing and if you then don't consciously put something in its place that is gonna be in line with who you want to be, that's again the problem." And this is also part of this as well, it's doing the work of, Who do you want to be?
0:33:34.7 Dan James: Yes, you want to drop this body fat, cool, but in the process, who do you actually want to be? Because this is fundamental, I don't know if you find this with your clients, but my clients get normally about three months in and they're like, "This stuff you're teaching me, it's not really just about fat loss. Is it?" I'm like, "No." And then I've applied it with my partner, I've applied it with my job.
0:33:54.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. Easily.
0:33:56.1 Dan James: I'm like, "Yeah, it's the same principles, I'm teaching you life principles, I'm just using it for fat loss." And when the penny drops, people's entire life changes but it's like, "So who do you want to become?" And then what you do is you then reverse-engineer it. The problem is, people are looking at their goal from where they are now, from what they've got, their physical sense, what they can see. They're looking at their body like, "Well, I'm fat and I want this thing here." You have to become the person that you want to be, be the person you want to be, do the things that they would do and you will have what you want to have. Be times do equals have. What do you want to have?
0:34:27.4 Dan James: It's not... Like I said, if I want to be a millionaire, I'm not a millionaire right now, but I will look at a millionaire. What do they do? What person are they? How do they dress? I've got to be that kind of person, do those kind of things, and then I will have the outcome, it's cause and effect. But people don't realize that if they want this effect, you've got to do the cause, you have to change the cause, you can't just be like, "Oh, I want this effect." Okay, cool, well, what are you gonna do about that? Have you actually addressed that? Have you actually thought about that? Who do you want to become in the process? Because this is a whole thing now, where you get to define who you are. And no one's probably ever asked these people since they were kids like, "Who do you want to be?" Because we'd get asked that as a kid. Don't we? "What do you want to be when you're older?" Okay, well, what do you want to be in a year's time when you've dropped 50 pounds? What do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What do you want to be doing? What kind of clothes will you be wearing? What kind of car do you want to have? Do you want to earn more income? What kind of partner do you want to have?
0:35:19.4 Dan James: Because then some of these people don't have partners and I'm then asking them like, "What kind of partner do you want to have? Because if you don't know about it, then what's gonna happen is the universe is gonna put someone in your lap and it might not be the person that you want.
0:35:30.6 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, 100%.
0:35:31.4 Dan James: Ask the questions.
0:35:35.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. Bro, it's funny, and I love this, that I could talk about this stuff for hours.
0:35:39.6 Dan James: Oh, me too, mate.
0:35:39.7 Jared Hamilton: When you said that, I don't know if your clients... Like this happens with your clients, about that three-month mark in. I've always said this, is, if you change... If the only thing... If you go through this journey the right way, your whole life changes because you're changing the foundational standpoints of who you are, your character, your beliefs, your identity, your standards, your entire everything. So yeah, you don't just lose weight, all of a sudden, everything else gets better. I've always said, If you go on this journey and you only lose weight and that's the only thing that changes, you fucked something up along the way. Because the way that I view it, like Bob Proctor talks a lot about, like where your energy is at and the frequency you're on, almost like radio waves, is I see so many people, they stay down here and they go, "I want to get that," so they're like, "How do I stay... They're looking at, like you said, from their shitty version of themselves, their shitty identity, their bad self-image, all the stuff, they're like, "Well, how do I get... My thing is, "Who do I have to become that gets?" It's a whole different...
0:36:36.8 Dan James: Exactly.
0:36:37.7 Jared Hamilton: It's an entirely different point of view.
0:36:39.8 Dan James: It's reverse-engineering it, it's reverse engineering it. Like what do I want? Cool, I look at it as if I've got that. What do I have to do to get that? And people can't seem to fathom that, it's like you have to reverse engineer it, you can't just look at it. And then again, this is also the thing, it should be almost effortless but people try and force it, "I've got to do this, I've got to work harder!" And yes, you've got to work hard. Not for a single second saying you don't have to work hard during this, because it is hard but it shouldn't be forced, it should be effortless. Does that make sense?
0:37:06.4 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, well... And again, it goes back to like if you're trying to stay the... If you're trying to stay you down here and you're just trying to get this new-you result but you're acting in congruence with the old you, versus if you think about like, let's say, like the concept of, How do I get it? To, Who do I have to become that gets? The "gets" part is a byproduct, it's not the goal. So for example, let's say this wasn't weight loss. What if it was, "I want to have a great marriage? My marriage is fantastic." But let's say it wasn't it and I go, "I want to have a fantastic marriage, I don't think, How do I be a selfish non-communicative piece of shit and get a good marriage?" I go, "Well, having a good marriage is a byproduct of something," so who do I have to become? Who has a great marriage? Well, that means I have to become someone who communicates, I have to become someone who puts my partner first, I have to become someone who's not codependent, I have to become someone who prioritizes his marriage.
0:37:57.2 Jared Hamilton: If we say, "How do I keep my shitty habits and my shitty situation and just get this result?" We don't get something for nothing, so when people are in weight loss at surface levels, that sounds, everyone goes, "Well, how do I lose 30 pounds in 30 days? Well, how do I get the outcome?" But it's not that, it's, "Who do I have to become who gets these results?" You see? It's crazy.
0:38:17.0 Dan James: But this thing baffles me with this, why does no one talk about it? Because it's... When we talk about it and when I explain this to my clients, it makes perfect sense. So it's not like you explain it to them, and they look at you, gun out, thinking, "What the hell are you on about?" It makes perfect sense when you think about it, you can't stay the same doing the same things that you were doing that got you in that situation in the first place, you can't be in the same environment, you can't do all this, you can't do that and then become a different person, it doesn't work that way. And it makes complete sense, you can't act like someone that's absolutely brilliant. Like me, when I lost all my money and I got myself into debt. I can't act like that and expect to have abundance in my life financially, it just does not work. I have to change my habits, I have to change my routines, my behaviors, I have to become a person that actually understands money, and again, that's also part of it, understanding money.
0:39:06.1 Dan James: So again, with fat loss, you have to understand fat loss, so again, it's something I talk to my clients about, is how the body actually burns fat because people don't actually know how the body burns fat, they think they just get something due to calorie deficit and it just magically drops off. The way that I use it is, If you've been fat and overweight for 30 years of your life, the factory of your body that burns body fat has been absolutely derelict, it's been redundant. The machines are all rusty, they're all cobwebby. What makes you think that you can just go in there and then in one day, it's like, "Well, I'm gonna open this factory back up again, it's gonna start burning body fat again? You've got to go in there, you've got to dust off all the machines again, you've got to bring all the nutrients in, all the things to clean down the machines, get all the raw material in, and then over time, the factory is gonna start... At the start, it's gonna be really clunky, it's gonna be really crappy, then over time, it's gonna actually start to work.
0:39:51.1 Dan James: And as you said, the amazing thing that you said on my podcast all those months ago was, There's a gestation period like for a pregnancy, it's nine months, you know it takes nine months, so you understand the process. When it comes to fat loss, it's the same sort of thing. What makes you think that you can be in a calorie deficit for a week and drop 50 pounds? It makes no sense, you haven't been in a fat-burning state for years, your body's gonna be like, "What the hell are you doing to me right now?" And it's gonna resist it, it's gonna be clunky. But you've got to give the body what it needs, again cause and effect, give the body what it needs, do the things you need to do, and then the body will do it because it wants to release it, your body does not want to hold all that excess weight because it's not beneficial, it's not healthy. The body can't survive without you, so it wants you to survive, it wants you to thrive, so you've got to give it the things that it needs to actually do that.
0:40:39.2 Jared Hamilton: No, I love that, man, that's such a good point 'cause again, most people are in this huge hurry to just go right into that but they don't take into account... I love the old factory analogy, where it's like most people's metabolisms are so fucked from doing years of trendy diets or they emotionally eat every other day or their identity is fucked, so every time they get a little bit ahead they sabotage it. But we got some baseline or some groundwork to do. No one would ever invest in a home that has a shitty foundation but most people are walking around trying to lose weight without their own foundation in check, and then they wonder why their house comes crumbling down.
0:41:11.6 Dan James: So again, to use that analogy again, I'm not sure if you're religious. I'm spiritual. I love reading...
0:41:16.7 Jared Hamilton: Good.
0:41:17.5 Dan James: Yes, I love reading the Bible. I love reading the Quran, I also have got more back here somewhere. But again, look at the Bible, the wise man. The wise man who built this house on the rocks, that is your foundations, it literally talks about your habits and your routines. The wise man who builds his house on the rocks. So you've got that solid foundation. The foundation is your habits and your routines, your habits and your routines dictate everything in your life because whether you know it or not, you have habits and routines right now. Chances are, if you're not getting the results that you want, your habits and routines are not aligned with it and they're pretty crappy.
0:41:47.3 Dan James: So what you've got is, you've got the house that is built on the sand, so when life throws things at you, you may be able to to joke your way there for a little bit, when life throws things at you, which it does because life just has to throw curveballs, so when the winds come and the rains come, your house is going to crumble because you don't have those solid foundations. Whereas if you've got your habits and routines and they're in place and they're in line with what you want to do truly, when life throws a curveball, your habits and foundations will hold you steady. It doesn't mean you're always gonna make progress, but it stops you going backwards, it stops you reverting, which is the power of habits and routines, which again, everyone knows this but it's like they don't want to actually do the work for it to figure it out because again, it is hard. And this is also I think where people are sold a lie with TikTok and Instagram and all that sort of stuff, they're told a lie that it's easy. It's not easy, it's hard and it sucks, especially if you're doing the hard work properly, it really fucking sucks because you've got to take a long, hard look at yourself and be like, "Fuck, I've wasted 20 years of my life being this way. Fuck." And that's a really hard pill to swallow, and a lot of people, that's when it gets uncomfortable and they quit, but that's when you've got to push on through.
0:42:53.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, it's funny. Like the foundation talk is interesting 'cause I like to take that even a step further 'cause I agree completely with that. If your house is built on the sand, there's no way you're gonna have a home that's gonna stay there, that's gonna stand the test of time, so to speak. But if you think about like, "Okay, well, then how do we do that?" We put in the foundational work to build good habits, to build a good psychology, all this stuff. But if we think about that, foundations... Because this is where people aren't willing to do the boring work 'cause that's just boring as fuck. Everyone wants to do the rapid, fast, shiny fat loss. But if you think about the foundational work, it's boring as fuck, it's monotonous, it's repetitive and it's not... It's like brushing your teeth, it's not the highlight of your day but if you think about the foundation on a home, it's ugly, it's mortar, it's literally concrete, it's buried, you don't even see it, it's literally like you chunk out this big hole in the ground. You put this ugly-as mortar into the dirt and it's like...
0:43:48.0 Jared Hamilton: It may take someone... Let's say it's a big house, it may take three, four months to put the foundation in. Inside the mortar, you got just metal and rebar and all these things, it's not sexy, it's not exciting but it's pivotal if you want that house to be there. Because then, once you finally do it, you cover that fucking shit up with dirt and then you put the house on it, but without it, it's worthless. But I think people look at this game of transformation, internal and external, and they don't realize that it's the same way.
0:44:16.2 Dan James: But this thing is because that doesn't sell. "Joe, if we literally... " We're just like, "Oh, yeah, so all you gotta do is this stuff every day, that's it.
0:44:25.6 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, totally.
0:44:27.4 Dan James: That's it, that's it. Like that's it. Do these things, again, get something to cover your deficit, eat whole, nutritious food, really good-quality foods, exercise, move your body in some way, shape, or form, whatever that looks like for you. If you don't wanna set foot in a gym, that's absolutely fine. Some of my clients have lost 70, 80 pounds who have never set foot in a gym. Don't go in a gym then, just go out walking, so exercise, do some walking and just work on your habits, routines and who you want to become, that's it, that's fat loss in a nutshell, but that's not sexy.
0:44:51.2 Jared Hamilton: No, it's not.
0:44:53.3 Dan James: "Oh, the latest glute workout. The latest workout. Oh, do these things. Oh." Blah, blah. It's like, "Oh my god." "Buy this amazing journal." Mate, my journal? Most of my journals are like 50p, like 50-cent notepads that I've got, it's only now, recently, I bought a really nice sexy one with a nice sexy pen, but apart from that, it's a bit... 'Cause again, I really cherish it but I don't care. Go and spend 50 cent on a notepad and pen, I don't care, it doesn't have to be sexy, you don't have to spend money on a gym membership, just go out walking in nature, that simple. You don't have to do anything crazy, and this is the thing, it's not about living like a hermit because, let's be honest. I know you've done this before when you lost the weight eating a donut every day. Food is absolutely incredible, it's amazing, so my thing is... I'm gonna teach you, I've got a rule for my clients, very simple, two rules, they can choose your battles and don't eat like a twat, that's it because...
0:45:40.5 Jared Hamilton: Make a T-shirt, bro, that's so good.
0:45:41.6 Dan James: It makes everyone laugh when I say it. It makes everyone laugh when I say it, I will literally say that to clients 'cause again, I don't normally swear, I stopped swearing on my podcast a long time ago because I get a lot of school kids listening now, so I try to be... But I know you started to swear, so you're bringing out the best of me now, but when I'm with clients... So I'm talking to my clients, I'm being nice and professional and they'll be like, "Oh, I've got this event over the weekend," I'm like, "Okay cool, so pick and choose your battles. Is this a battle worth engaging in because every weekend you got your brothers', sisters' goldfish's dog's second birthday. There's always something, always a reason to get drunk and eat this food." But I'm like, "Is it a battle worth engaging in, like your birthday?"
0:46:13.8 Dan James: Yes. "Partner's birthday?" Yes. "Christmas, big holidays, go to town. That is your time, you want to enjoy life, but don't eat like a twat because you're going to feel like shit." And again, it's one of things where food's not going anywhere and this is one of the biggest things I say to clients, when you're meeting friends... Let's say again, well, one of my favorite holidays when I lived in America was Thanksgiving. Absolutely incredible but people make food the star of the show. Food is never the star of the show. Even if you're going to a five-star restaurant, food is not the star of the show, it is the people that you're going with. Thanksgiving is about spending time with the people that you love. Christmas, your birthday, is about spending time and celebrating the years you've been alive, it's not about the food, stop making food the star of the show because as soon as you put it on a pedestal, you get excited by it, you want more of it. When you just realize, It is what it is... Again, when you meet millionaires for the first time, I'm sure if you've met through Arete, you've met loads of them.
0:47:05.3 Jared Hamilton: Oh yeah.
0:47:05.9 Dan James: I've only just started meeting a few of them in person like, "You're just a normal person." But we put them on a pedestal and then what do we do? We start acting like a knobhead around them, we start melting like, "Oh my god. Oh my god, you start getting sweaty, it's like when you realize, No, they're not on a pedestal, they're normal, you act like yourself. When you stop putting food on a pedestal, you start to act normally around it, you don't get super excited like, "Oh wow, that doughnut looks incredible. Do you know what? I'm gonna have some of that." Again, from a place of conscious awareness, "I'm going to have this because I want to have it." And if my clients want to have a quadruple cheeseburger with all the trimmings and they've made the decision to go and do it, that is their life but it's their life. Who am I to say, "No, don't do that." It's your life, but understand, are you doing it from a place of, "I really want this, it looks incredible, it is this amazing burger restaurant, it's here in my city for one day only." Cool, knock yourself out. But if you're just doing it because you're like a mindless hungry zombie that is never satisfied, you're gonna feel guilty, you're gonna feel crappy because you know that you've not done it from a place of awareness. Does that make sense with it?
0:48:09.4 Jared Hamilton: Oh, I love that dude. Fuck, man, that's so good, that's so good, dude. I could literally talk with you about this shit for hours. You know what I mean? This is so good.
0:48:18.9 Dan James: This is why I get along with you so well, like I've literally... "This is the second time I've spoken to you but I'm like... And we've literally not spoke recently through the podcast but we are two people that have never met but we were aligned on the same mission, we literally technically are competition but we're not competition because again, winners don't compete, they create. So it's not about competing, it's about, We're doing this to create something amazing to help people with their goals, which is fundamentally what we both want to do. So it's not about this competition, it's about, There's enough to go around, it's just two guys on the same mission, on the same path, that have gone through their own stuff, that's it. So then you create something beautiful when you put them together.
0:48:54.8 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, man, I love that, dude. Dude, this has been so good, we got to catch up more outside the podcast. Absolutely, I would love that.
0:49:02.5 Dan James: 100%.
0:49:03.4 Jared Hamilton: Where can people find you? They listen to this and they're like, "Man, I want to get to know this guy more and see his content." Because you have your podcast and all of that. So where can people find you?
0:49:11.1 Dan James: So my podcast is the Prime Life Project Podcast, it's on Spotify, Apple podcast and YouTube, and if people want to find out more about me personally, it's @daniel_james_coaching on Instagram, and go ahead and drop me a message. Again, it's just me that's on my Instagram. Sometimes you get people that... It's not really them, it is me on there. If you want to interact with me, then that's where you do it.
0:49:28.7 Jared Hamilton: I love that, I love that, I'll have all that in the show notes, but man, this has been so good. Thank you again for coming on. This has been amazing.
0:49:34.7 Dan James: It's been a pleasure. Thank you very much for having me.
0:49:37.8 Jared Hamilton: And we are back. Thank you so much for making it to the end of today's episode, I really hope you got a lot of value out of Dan and my conversation. I know if you were in it. You were getting a lot of gold nuggets. Dan is a wealth of knowledge. So if you haven't already, be sure and check him out, I'll put his links below in the description. And be sure and go just follow him, shoot him a message, say, "What's up?" Tell him that you heard him on the podcast and how much value you got from that, but otherwise, thank you so much for tuning in. Now, before you go, I do have a lot of goodies for you in the description of the episode. Out the gate, number one, I have my fat-loss master plan, it's my... I'm sorry, not my master plan, it's called My Fat-loss Checklist. So if you're newer here and you're just not quite sure where to get started with this whole weight-loss game and you're not quite sure how to get started, what's what? What spiel to believe, you feel overwhelmed by all of that stuff, go check that out, it's my free five-day course, it goes through your email, it 'll simplify everything for you A to Z, it's called the Fat-loss Checklist for a reason 'cause it's just like, "You get this, get this, get this, and get this. So go through that, that's down there as well. Be sure and check out my other smaller socials, if you aren't following me over there, like my TikTok, my Instagram, my YouTube, the whole nine yards.
0:50:45.3 Jared Hamilton: I also have a link to my Fat Loss Simplified Facebook community because we all need a home base. And especially if you are not coaching or you don't have someone like myself or my team in your corner, you need a spot you can go to to get help, to get support, to get loved on, to get questions... Or, I'm sorry, to get your questions answered. So that's what we do inside the Fat Loss Simplified training. If you like content like this, you'll love the trainings I put in there totally for free. People join that group and have their lives never the same.
0:51:10.2 Jared Hamilton: And then finally, the last thing I have down in there for you is a special coaching opportunity, I talk about it a lot right now because the podcast is one of my biggest focuses. Because my podcast listeners, you, you have a very special place in my heart because it takes a very special kinda person to listen to literally me or me and someone else rant and talking to a mic for 45, 55, 60 minutes, I think I may have mentioned this a couple times. It reminds me in like search and rescue, where it's like if a helicopter only has 10 spots on the helicopter but there's 20 people in the water on a ship that's wrecked, the people they save is the people that's swimming towards the helicopter, that are trying to get help.
0:51:46.7 Jared Hamilton: And you are that to me, I see... If you're sitting here listening to this far into the episode, you're trying to get help, you're trying to change your life and I want to support that and I want to really help you. So what I have for you below is... When it comes to coaching, as in like locking arms with me and my team, we are very picky and choosy who we work with, we do not let anyone with a credit card into coaching. Like there's an interview process, we have to make sure that we're a good fit, we have to make sure that we can actually help and solve your problems. And the biggest thing is that you're actually ready for this. A lot of people aren't ready for the way that we coach people. But how we get people who come into the program to 180 their entire lives on the other side of it is, we let the right people in.
0:52:28.2 Jared Hamilton: So with that being said, I do have a special coaching offer for you. Anyone from the podcast, that you use the link below to schedule your application call, I basically am going to give you about $4000 worth of stuff that goes into coaching, in addition to what's goes into coaching, like the stuff people pay a lot of money for. And I'm going to give these $4000 worth of freebies to you, these things at no cost just for signing up to go into coaching from the podcast. But there's a special link that tells me you're from the podcast, so I know like, "Hey, let's give this person this stuff." But you still have to apply for coaching, you can't just sign up straight from here. You have to apply. We have to get to know you, we have to make sure this is gonna work and this is a good fit. So you can do that at the link in the description. Otherwise, I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you so much for tuning in again, I love you, I will talk to you next time.
Catching Up with Dan:
Dan fell into the fitness industry. He went to college in the United States on a soccer scholarship, and got his personal trainer certification, only so he could continue playing soccer in college.
After returning to the UK, he got a job at a large commercial gym and eventually started working as a personal trainer there.
His first personal training appointment was very uncomfortable for him because he realized he had no idea what he was doing, which prompted him to begin studying. He eventually stopped working for other companies and struck out on his own.
Dan built a successful business and he helped clients achieve amazing results. He personally was in great shape, but despite his success, Dan was very depressed. He ended up losing his business and going into debt.
He then decided to buy a Tony Robbins tape with the last of his money (actually borrowing some in the process) and ended up throwing himself into the self-development space. He continued down the path by buying Andy Frisella’s book and from there began to rebuild. Dan then realized that he could apply this mindset approach to his client.
Dan and Jared see clients at their rock bottom and despite the fact that the information to overcome their mental and emotional struggles—and achieve the permanent transformation they desire—is out there, it's not easy to find.
To Dan, a large part of this is because the world we live in promotes mediocrity. He tells his clients that it is not their fault—because they don’t know another way—but with the information and guidance he provides, they can change if they really want to.
Dan and Jared both find that, starting out, clients typically don't have faith in themselves, and so that belief in them comes from the coach until the client starts to believe in themselves.
Jared similarly has this talk with clients, that even though they didn’t know better—and that it’s not their fault—it’s still their responsibility to deal with how they are feeling, their relationship with food, etc.
Dan encourages his clients to take control of their lives and take back their responsibility from these situations in life that have created their poor relationships with food and/or exercise. He tells his clients that taking responsibility, forgiving themselves or others, and not continuing to be a victim empowers them.
Understanding that you may have made decisions surrounding food as a defense mechanism, and letting go of them from a place of self-compassion and honesty can be very emotional, but it ultimately allows you to move forward with who you want to become.
Jared goes through a lot of similar work with his clients. Those defense mechanisms often stem from the inner child. Many people don’t realize that they are holding onto beliefs that helped them survive for a time—and that they need to recognize them and have self-compassion to let those beliefs go.
Dan starts out very simply. For example, he may have someone focus on walking. If they are doing 3,000 steps, he may have them shoot for 5,000, but while they are walking they need to listen to a podcast or audiobook.
Three things his clients have to do are read a nonfiction book, walk, and journal. He has people free-write, starting with something like, “Today I’m feeling….”
They write for 10 or 15 minutes without stopping, allowing their subconscious to come out onto the paper. He also provides them with educational videos along the way.
One example of Dan’s educational videos is a concept he calls the “sausage machine.”
Basically, when you make sausage, what you put in is what you get out—put beef in, you get beef sausage. In our lives, it’s the same thing. Most people in their weight loss journey put in fear, hate, and regret, and they end up with a “shit sausage” that is their life.
He tells people that they have to put in the right ingredients to get the results they want. He educates his clients in nutrition and exercise to empower them so they know why they are doing what they’re doing.
Typically he and his clients don’t come across any problems for the first few weeks, and as problems arise, they deal with those and learn so they can continue to change.
Dan and Jared both believe that part of the inner-game involves changing your identity—the way you see yourself.
If your identity is rooted in, “I am fat,” then even when you lose weight, you will still view yourself as fat, or as a fat person who “got lucky” and lost some weight. This mindset will ultimately lead to you regaining weight because that’s where your anchor is set.
Dan points out that if you have been thinking a certain way for a long time—20/30/40 years of your life—it will take time to change that pattern of thought. It’s not something that can typically be done in a handful of months.
Dan tries to help his clients reframe their identity—you aren’t fat, you HAVE fat. Your physical body does not identify you as a person.
Jared deals with this a lot with clients, where a client will say they are a “binger,” but Jared tells them to approach it as they binge-ate—a verb—something they did. Rather than calling themselves a “binger,”—a noun—which promotes the idea of that as their identity.
Dan notes that as you get rid of these paradigms, you have to replace them. He works with people to help them with who they want to be.
You find out who you want to become and reverse engineer it. Think about what the person you want to be would do, what decisions they would make, and do that.
Both Dan and Jared are teaching their clients life skills but applying it to weight loss.
Jared typically tells clients that if they do this journey right, it will change their life—beyond just losing weight.
The key is becoming who you want through acting in the ways that that person who you want to be would act. It’s thinking about who you have to become to achieve what you want. You can’t continue to have the same habits, same knowledge or lack thereof, and get a different result.
Dan explains to his clients that they have to go through a period of adjustment during their weight loss journey.
If you were to think about your body like a factory—if you haven’t used the machines in years, you have to dust them off and get them up and running again.
The beginning of your weight loss journey will be clunky. You can’t go into a calorie deficit and expect to lose 50lbs in a matter of weeks. It takes time for your body to respond, to get into fat burning, etc.
You have to build a solid foundation through your habits and routines. If you have solid habits and routines, when life throws you a curveball, your habits and routines will keep you on track because of that strong foundation.
Dan has two rules for his clients: pick and choose your battles and don’t eat like a twat.
There are always reasons to eat and drink—holidays, birthdays, etc.—but you need to pick and choose your battles and build awareness around the food decisions you are making.
Dan also says you should never make food the star of the show.
When you make food the star of the show, it’s being put on a pedestal and you cannot make conscious, fully aware decisions with your food when you have exalted something.
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