About Today’s Episode:
Welcome back! I am so excited to bring you today’s episode! This episode is going to give you all the proof and evidence you need to go and change your life forever.
We are talking to Coach Sydnee and her client Alishia today and I am pumped because, while I love my solo episodes and teaching you guys the tactics and strategies, this episode will show you guys that those things WORK!
I love these episodes because they really hit home with most people. They help you realize that if someone like Alishia can change her life, you can change your life too.
Alishia has been kicking ass in our coaching program for the last several months—and one of the really cool things about her is that she was actually one of our scholarship winners.
I often say that “people who pay, pay attention,” because we put out so much free content, we give away coaching, etc., but oftentimes, people don’t truly commit and execute until they have skin in the game—including our scholarship winners.
Alishia is an exception to that rule and we get into a lot today.
We talk about how to turn around decades of failure and old conditioning, how to re-write who you are and take control of your life, and about sabotage and how to stop it dead in its tracks.
This is a really value-packed episode and I know you are going to get a lot out of this!
04:48 Sponsors
08:33 About Alishia
29:57 Balancing Life and Goals
37:58 Handling Rough Days
Transcript (click to expand)
About Alishia:
Growing up, Alishia never had a positive self body image. She never learned about healthy food choices and exercise wasn’t a part of her family's routine.
She was heavier and bounced between thinning out and then getting chubby again and again—and as she progressed into adulthood, she started gaining weight.
Alishia tried seeing dietitians, but found that there was always a disconnect with them—not only had the dietitians she worked with never struggled with weight, but it was really only the food side of things.
As time went on, Alishia pretty much gave up, believing that this was just who she was. Alishia is 42 years old, diabetic, and has had many struggles from anxiety and depression to going through several miscarriages.
Alishia has worked with a counselor on and off for the last 14 years and he told her that until she found the missing piece to really break through that final wall, that what they could do was limited.
After finding Jared’s content—and winning a scholarship to the 180 Impact coaching program—things really started to change.
Alishia has been in the coaching program for 9 weeks. In that time, her confidence has sky rocketed, the way she looks at food has changed, the way she talks to herself has changed, and she is now working out and meeting her goals.
For Alishia, the inner work has been revolutionary. If she has a bad day, she no longer gives up or gets thrown off track for months—and she now understands that being heavy isn’t, “the way she’s supposed to be.”
Before coaching, Alishia struggled to find one thing she liked about herself and would even go so far as to tell her husband that she was “too big for him and he should find someone else,” but now—even though she has her phases—Alishia’s attitude has shifted completely.
She finds wins in everything now, not just with the scale. Alishia has found hope that she never had before.
Sydnee’s Perspective on Alishia’s Mental Transformation:
Sydnee remembers her first call with Alishia and how she expressed the desire to change—but that while she was kind and supportive of others, she didn’t treat herself well at all.
Alishia has always been very transparent with Sydnee and has been unafraid to go all in and try any homework that Sydnee gives to her.
Even after just 3 weeks, Sydnee saw Alishia go from not being able to find a win to having a paragraph of wins.
What Was Most Impactful for Alishia:
One of the most impactful aspects of coaching for Alishia has been the accountability.
Coming into the 180 Impact program, Alishia really didn’t like herself, and because of that, she didn’t care about being accountable to herself.
Having Coach Sydnee—and wanting to be accountable to her—has also made Alishia want to be accountable to (and for) herself.
Secondly, the inner work and food relationship as a whole has played a huge part in Alishia’s transformation.
Growing up in a large, Italian family, Alishia learned not only to eat when she was sad, but also when she was happy. Food was both comforting and celebratory for her.
Now she is aware of her relationship with food and makes conscious decisions.
For example: if she is sad, she can stop herself before defaulting to eating and make the choice to journal instead.
Lastly, the ability to recognize wins has made a massive difference for Alishia.
Sydnee helped Alishia learn to recognize wins that weren’t related to the scale—like her clothes fitting better, her feeling better and more confident, etc.
In fact, Alishia’s weight has only started dropping in the past few weeks.
Now, Alishia isn’t focused on her weight and is finding losing fat to be much easier than ever before. She is still getting used to some things—like her workouts—but at 42 she now realizes that it's not too late.
She is definitely putting in work, but the process is much easier than she ever thought it could be.
Where Sydnee Saw Alishia’s Perspective Shift Happen:
Sydnee saw a mini shift come when Alishia started journaling consistently, but the most notable change happened after she had been in the coaching program, had been trying her hardest, doing the work, but the scale hadn’t moved.
Alishia was frustrated and was beating herself up, but Sydnee stopped her and asked her to look at the situation as though it was someone else, not herself, who was doing all these amazing things—juggling work and school, doing the coaching program, going all in—would she not think they were amazing?
That’s when the light bulb went off.
Sydnee has seen Alishia’s identity change a lot as well.
Alishia no longer sees herself as “the fat girl,” and she doesn’t try to make fat jokes before others can.
She is now in a place where she treats herself with love and respect.
Alishia strives to be a good role model for her nephews through her actions and the way she treats herself.
She has come to realize that telling her nephew’s how amazing they are isn’t enough, because actions speak louder than words, and if she is constantly putting herself down, it impacts them as well.
What ‘Body Positivity’ Really Means:
Jared notes that in society, body positivity is often, “I love myself and accept everything about me,” to the point of never changing.
He finds that people think they can’t love themselves AND change, but Alishia has found this magical middle ground where she loves herself enough to change and have standards for herself.
Alishia believes that you need to love yourself enough to work on yourself, but also give yourself grace.
There is nothing wrong with being heavy and Alishia is now in a place where she can be happy with where she is at, while still wanting to change and improve.
She now understands that she isn't “bad,” she just needs to learn a better way to be healthy and good to her body.
Coach Sydnee believes that people get caught up thinking that there is an end point where you no longer need to grow—but we should always be growing.
She says that you should love yourself where you are so you can love yourself as you continue to grow.
For Alishia, self-love has been a difficult thing to learn.
Being abused as a child, she started from a place where she didn’t love her body and she also finds social media can be tough to deal with, always seeing “perfect” snippets from other people.
Alishia has slowly built habits, a better self-image, and her identity through her coaching program—and through going back to school and performing well academically.
Balancing Life and Goals:
Alishia found that she was giving energy to people who really didn’t deserve it, so before anything else, she had to take that time and make herself a priority.
She is also a very scheduled person and, again, made herself a priority and put herself on a schedule so she could get her workouts in, go to work, do her school, and juggle her household responsibilities.
Alishia also recognizes the need for downtime. She has TV shows and things that she enjoys watching, so for her, a lot of it comes back to being on a schedule and making yourself a priority.
Alishia is not always super motivated—everyone has their days—but she believes that if you want it badly enough, you will make it work.
Even when she doesn’t feel like getting out of bed and doing her workout, she pushes through to stick to her schedule and show up for herself.
Coach Sydnee’s honesty with Alishia has also helped Alishia show up consistently.
For Alishia, knowing that Coach Sydnee also has days where she doesn’t feel motivated or doesn’t want to get up for her workout—and knowing that we all have to find ways to keep showing up despite our level of motivation—let’s her know that it's okay and normal to feel that way sometimes.
Handling Rough Days:
In the beginning, Alishia would really beat herself up over difficult days, but has now learned to give herself grace on those days and recognize that we all have ups and downs.
When she is feeling particularly emotional, she lets the feelings come, lets herself have those feelings, and sits with her feelings.
She says that you have to make room for everything—for various traumas you may have suffered.
For her, infertility and being abused were big, but while you need to make room for it, don’t live in that spot—you don’t deserve to live in that spot.
Jared has known a lot of women who have suffered from different forms of abuse and have struggled with feelings of worthiness, like Alishia, and points out that Alishia’s actions have taught her now that she is worth it and that she loves herself because she shows up for herself.
Alishia says, “If I could give advice to anybody: if you're mean to yourself, picture saying that to either your eight-year-old self or somebody that you love. Would you talk to them like that? Would you tell them that they're not worthy? Would you tell them that they're no good or that they can't do it? Absolutely not.”
Alishia also, at the direction of her counselor, gave her mean inner voice a face so she could tell it to shut up when those negative self-thoughts started to creep in.
Being a Harry Potter fan, Alishia chose Voldemort as the representation of her mean inner voice, which has helped her stop the negative self-talk.
Lately, through doing the inner work, Alishia has found that her mean inner voice has been silentand her positive self-talk has increased.
Doing the inner work has not only made Alishia mentally stronger, but she is also losing weight.
What’s Made Alishia Successful:
Sydnee believes that the key to Alishia’s success has been how willing she has been to share everything and go all in.
Alishia has consistently been very honest with Sydnee, letting her know when she’s had bad days, talking through her struggles, and she has been committed from day one.
Sydnee has found her willingness to try new things, like journaling, has also greatly contributed to her success.
Alishia had to get herself ready to be uncomfortable. Getting into school gave her confidence and she realized that if she wanted to really show people what she could do, she needed to be willing to go all in.
Being unsure of working out, how to do certain exercises, and of the process in general were all things she knew would be uncomfortable.
So she asked questions and has been willing to try it all.
Alishia believes that usually the right things are the ones that scare you because change is scary—trying something new is scary.
If she could give listener’s a piece of advice, it would be to give this a shot because 180 Impact encompasses everything that people need.
She closes by reminding listener’s that, “You're not your trauma, you're not your abuse, you're a person. Those are just pieces.”
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