How Alishia Turned Around DECADES of Failure & Old Conditioning (with Coach Sydnee) | DFIO Ep.274
About Today’s Episode:
Welcome back! I am so excited to bring you today’s episode! This episode is going to give you all the proof and evidence you need to go and change your life forever.
We are talking to Coach Sydnee and her client Alishia today and I am pumped because, while I love my solo episodes and teaching you guys the tactics and strategies, this episode will show you guys that those things WORK!
I love these episodes because they really hit home with most people. They help you realize that if someone like Alishia can change her life, you can change your life too.
Alishia has been kicking ass in our coaching program for the last several months—and one of the really cool things about her is that she was actually one of our scholarship winners.
I often say that “people who pay, pay attention,” because we put out so much free content, we give away coaching, etc., but oftentimes, people don’t truly commit and execute until they have skin in the game—including our scholarship winners.
Alishia is an exception to that rule and we get into a lot today.
We talk about how to turn around decades of failure and old conditioning, how to re-write who you are and take control of your life, and about sabotage and how to stop it dead in its tracks.
This is a really value-packed episode and I know you are going to get a lot out of this!
00:00 Intro & About Today’s Episode
04:48 Sponsors
08:33 About Alishia
14:30 Sydnee’s Perspective on Alishia’s Mental Transformation
16:57 What Was Most Impactful for Alishia
21:33 Where Sydnee Saw Alishia’s Perspective Shift Happen
24:01 What ‘Body Positivity’ Really Means
29:57 Balancing Life and Goals
37:58 Handling Rough Days
46:54 What Has Made Alishia Successful
54:02 Outro—Freebies & How to Apply for Coaching
Transcript (click to expand)
DFIO274 Alishia and Sydnee
.pdf
Download PDF • 200KB
How Alishia Turned Around DECADES of Failure & Old Conditioning (with Coach Sydnee) | DFIO Ep.274
0:00:00.0 Alishia: You have to dive in. And if you're scared, it's probably the right thing. Usually the right things are the ones that scare you, 'cause change is scary. Trying something new is scary. But if I could give advice, give this a shot. You owe it to yourself. If you're looking to do this because you know you need to be healthy, dive right in and give yourself a shot. Give yourself the chance. You're not gonna know what you could do unless you dive all the way in.
0:00:27.1 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, friend? Welcome back to a brand new episode of Dieting From The Inside Out. If you're new around here, what's up? Welcome to the show. My name is Jared Hamilton, your host every single week. And man, do I have an episode for you today. Today is one of those episodes where I'm going to basically give you all the proof and evidence, criteria that you need in order to go change your life. 'Cause here's the thing, don't get me wrong, I love my solo episodes, I love coming on here and teaching you and giving you the tactics and strategies that I know will change your life forever, but it hits different when someone who's gone through it in a little bit different light goes through it. You know what I mean? Like me, for example, I'm 31 years old and a guy, there's stuff that I have not gone through and I will be the first to say it. So I think there's a lot of value when I bring on someone to the show that's gone through a lot more hell with this stuff than let's say I have, where they can speak to it in a little bit different light.
0:01:30.7 Jared Hamilton: And then also, you can have a little bit more respect from that front versus me just saying it, even though the strategies and tactics that I'm gonna show you work. It just hits home different when someone who has gone through this is the one teaching and speaking this. And then there's this little voice inside most people that go, "Oh shit, if she can do it, then I can do it, too." So this is why I'm really excited to bring on to the show... We're doing a three-way podcast. We're having myself coach Sydnee, but then as well, Sydnee's client Alishia.
0:02:03.8 Jared Hamilton: So Alishia has been kicking ass and taking names in our coaching program for the last several months and enough so where I wanted to bring her on the show and let her do some teaching and talking. Because like I said, you can't replace life experiences. You can't... You can't replace things like that. So in this episode with Alishia, you're going to learn a shit ton. Alishia was actually one of our scholarship winners. So that's the cool thing. With her, she... We always say it's people who pay pay attention. And the thing is, one of the downsides of... We give away so much for free. We give away coaching for free. We give away content for free, just like this. We give away so much for free to help, but the problem is, for a lot of people, when someone doesn't have skin in the game, their execution is not that great, if I'm being honest.
0:02:52.8 Jared Hamilton: We always say, we can tell a difference between our scholarship clients who have won a scholarship or who someone paid forward the coaching versus the clients who invested themselves. But Alishia is that exception. Alishia has taken this bull by the horns and has been crushing it, and which is why her results are speaking for themselves. So we got into a lot with Alishia. So just looking at my notes. You're gonna learn how to turn around decades of failure and old conditioning, 'cause that's the thing is... I always say, eat less, move more. Yeah, it's correct for fat loss. It's what matters. But eat less, move more is like the children's coloring book version of fat loss. There's so much deeper shit in old conditioning that's stopping you from eating less and moving more. It's deeper than that.
0:03:35.0 Jared Hamilton: So you're gonna learn in this episode with Alishia how she was able to undo decades of struggle, decades of failure and decades of old conditioning in a matter of months and see so much results in just a short period of time. You're also gonna learn how to re-write who you are and take control of your life after having a history of not. That's the hard part about struggle and failure is not only is every time you try to lose weight and gain it back and you try and you fail and you lose more weight, then you gain it all back, the problem is not only metabolically does it make it harder to lose weight again, but it also calluses your mental place around this stuff, making it harder mentally to lose weight. It solidifies sabotage. It makes it really hard. So you're gonna learn how to re-write who you are so you become a different person.
0:04:25.3 Jared Hamilton: And then finally you're also going to learn about sabotage and how to stop it dead in its tracks. This way you can have the certainty to know that once the weight is coming off, it's gonna stay off. So this is a very value-packed episode. I'm really grateful for Alishia and Sydnee being so open and honest and sharing with you what's been working well with her over the last several months. So you're gonna get a lot of value on this. I know you will.
0:04:48.6 Jared Hamilton: So before we get into all that, big thank you to the sponsors of the show. Sponsor number one, FlexPro Meals. I'm telling you guys, I love my FlexPros. It's crazy because during my day-to-day, it just gets crazy. It gets unpredictable. I do a lot of stuff. I travel. There's always stuff going on. And man, it is so nice just having the peace of mind that I always have a handful of meals in the fridge ready to go that are, A, in line with my goals, B, taste amazing 'cause they are made by a chef, but then C, they're really affordable. They're no more expensive than going through the drive-through. If anything, they're cheaper.
0:05:24.9 Jared Hamilton: I still... Like every now and then, I love my Chipotle and it still is crazy to me that just myself going to Chipotle is like $16. It's just crazy. But that's the thing, is FlexPro arrives at your front door. So if you don't have time, you hate cooking and you like good food, it just is the biggest, most seamless thing ever. So if that's your cup of tea, definitely go check them out. You will not believe what's on their site. There's a lot of these other meal prep companies who... It's basically just delivering a piece of salmon or some fish, or some chicken. But FlexPro has these completely built-out meals that... I would be totally fine if I got these at a restaurant. So definitely check that out. And if you're into saving money, use my code HamiltonTrained at checkout and it'll save you like 20%, which is pretty legit.
0:06:09.5 Jared Hamilton: Sponsor number two is 1st Phorm. Again, I'm rocking the 1st Phorm apparel because it takes up about half of my closet. [laughter] No, for real though, it's been incredible working with 1st Phorm and being a part of that community. Like I said a couple of episodes ago, I was actually out on HQ recently and it was incredible, the culture, the people, sat down... Not sat down, but I got to talking to Andy, who runs the place. It was just incredible. So a big thank you to them for supporting myself and the show. Because here's the truth, at the end of the day, when it comes to the world of supplements, the industry is so spammy. The industry is so kind of yucky, in my opinion.
0:06:43.8 Jared Hamilton: And it's crazy... Like most people... I always say it... I say it a lot, that most people just go on to Amazon or to GNC, or whatever, abcsupplementwarehouse.com, whatever, and they just try to find the cheapest and least shitty-tasting supplement and the problem is you're not getting the quality you need because not all supplements are created equal. Because you got issues... Because they're so unregulated, you have issues where labels may be inaccurate. Like it might say 25 grams of protein per scoop, but it's actually like 13. Or lawsuits like... I can't tell you how many companies that are sold at Walmart, like a lot of you guys buy your supplements at Walmart that... Or Sam's Club or Costco. Well, they've got lawsuits going on and stuff because of immuno spiking or inaccurate labels or unsafe ingredients. It's just... It's scary. And I wanna make sure that our clients and this community, you, know what you're getting into, you know the ingredients are the best that you can find, you know that the product is accurate, safe and tested and is taken care of. So that's why we work with 1st Phorm. And it's a no-brainer.
0:07:49.8 Jared Hamilton: So if you're into either upgrading what you're taking or kind of just seeing what their stuff looks like, definitely go to the link below. It does support me and I really, really appreciate that. So, definitely check them out and let me know if you have any questions. Below is also a supplement link... Sorry, brain fart. At the time of the recording, this is actually really late 'cause I'm about to hop on a plane tomorrow morning, and I was like, "Oh shit, I gotta get this intro recorded so my producer can be working on it while I'm gone."
0:08:18.8 Jared Hamilton: So... Sorry, brain fart. [laughter] So there will be a link below, a YouTube video of my supplement talk, that way if you're new to supplements and stuff. But nonetheless, let's get into the meat and potatoes of the episode and the conversation with Sydnee and Alishia. I love you and I'll talk to you in just a second.
0:08:33.9 Jared Hamilton: Beautiful. We are live, or not live. We're recording. What's up? Thank you guys for doing this, I really, really appreciate it.
0:08:39.0 Alishia: Of course.
0:08:40.7 Sydnee: Absolutely.
0:08:45.4 Jared Hamilton: Well, before we really dive into a lot of this stuff, I just wanna... So everyone that's listening, you can get some context. Alishia, talk a little bit about your story coming into coaching and what really made you want to get into all of this and the struggles you were facing. 'Cause things were pretty bad, right?
0:09:00.4 Alishia: Oh yeah, absolutely. I grew up without a positive body self-image. I didn't know what that was. And I'm 42 now. So [laughter] I'm just learning all that. And I'm type 2 diabetic, I'm heavy, had several miscarriages. It's just been a rough... And I've started watching you actually, and I'm like, "Huh, maybe I can actually do this." You kind of took the difficulty out of it. You get overwhelmed and stuff and there's so much information out there, you're not sure what's correct.
0:09:32.2 Alishia: I had met with dieticians, but they're literally just the food part of it and they've never struggled with weight. One of my dieticians was 90 pounds soaking wet and I'm like... And never was heavy a day in her life. And I'm like, "How could you possibly understand where someone like me is coming from?" Where I was a chubby kid, I thinned out, got chubby again, thinned out, and then I started gaining my weight into my adulthood. And I was like... I had given up. Honestly, I was like, "Well, this is just how I'm supposed to be."
0:10:02.0 Alishia: Depression sits in. I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks and when those hit, you get even more depressed. And then you came along. [laughter] And I won the scholarship with Sydnee. And it was over the past nine weeks, just the difference that I've noticed in myself and other people have noticed. I sit a little bit taller. I'm learning what body positivity really is about inside and out.
0:10:27.6 Jared Hamilton: I love that.
0:10:28.5 Alishia: The inner work was absolutely... You were spot-on with that. If you... I've been working with a counselor on and off for 14 years. I had told both of you that. But he always said there was a piece missing. "There's a piece missing, and until you break that final wall, there's nothing more we can do." You guys were what I said was my missing piece, 'cause the inner work is just as important. If you can't love yourself as you are, I'm not gonna love myself when I'm 100 pounds later. And...
0:10:58.9 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, absolutely.
0:11:00.6 Alishia: Thanks to you guys too, my bad days are only days now. It's not weeks or months or falling off track for a week like, "Oh well, I ate a bad snack," or... And now I don't even refer to foods as bad. It's like, "Okay, I went a little over, but that's alright." Instead of falling off for weeks or months and just giving up, it's, "Oh, I had a bad moment. Let me restart in two seconds later." So I've learned how to do all of that through you guys, 'cause it's not just one aspect you guys are offering. Like I said, I was a chubby kid. I was bullied.
0:11:31.3 Alishia: And my father's heavy. My whole father's side is very heavy. And I was just about to the point of, "Oh, this is just how I'm supposed to be." No, no. No. No, I'm not supposed to be like this. There is hope. And it's nice to talk to people that have gone through the struggle too. And I referred to foods as bad. You taught me not to look at them as bad. It's, "Alright, maybe make a better choice, but not... Things are not off limits anymore."
0:11:57.9 Jared Hamilton: Right.
0:11:58.0 Alishia: And working out has been phenomenal. I'm meeting all of my workout goals and I'm... And being held accountable to Sydnee, I think is what really changed me too, is... Because I didn't love myself enough to be accountable to myself. I was very hard on myself, very self-loathing and it was horrible. 42 years old and I couldn't find one thing about me that I liked and telling my husband, "Oh, I'm too big for you. You should find somebody else." I don't do that. I go through my phases, but nothing like I was. Just the last, almost three months has been a complete shift. And I find the wins, the little wins that you guys were talking about, I find them everywhere now, not just the scale...
0:12:41.8 Jared Hamilton: Let's go. [laughter]
0:12:41.9 Alishia: I find them... Literally, if I can make it through a day without telling me... Am I allowed to swear?
0:12:47.4 Jared Hamilton: Yes, yes.
0:12:47.8 Alishia: If I make it...
[laughter]
0:12:50.8 Jared Hamilton: Are you kidding me? Fucking A. Are you allowed to swear? Jesus. Come on.
0:12:56.8 Sydnee: Jared's like, "Only me." [laughter]
0:13:00.1 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. I'm only allowed to say fuck here. It is only me. I'm the king of the fucks. [laughter]
0:13:05.2 Alishia: Well, I think I told you, if I can make it through a day without fucking killing somebody or telling somebody to fuck off to me, that's a win. If I took a walk that day, that's a win. It's... Now that I'm seeing all these little wins too, my confidence has been... I'm not gonna lie, I've been a cocky bitch a little bit.
0:13:22.8 Jared Hamilton: Let's go.
0:13:23.1 Alishia: 'Cause I'm like, "Yeah, and?" Like, "Come on, I dare you." Like, "Bring it." So it's just...
0:13:28.6 Jared Hamilton: That's what I like.
0:13:29.9 Alishia: The shift in the attitude. Even my counselor was like, "You know what, this was your missing piece." And I'm going to school, too. So combining all that. And I'm confident... My grades are great and it's just... I don't even know what else is... You guys have definitely just shown me... I wish I found you when I was a teenager, to be honest with you, because they make it so difficult and it gets overwhelming. You guys simplified it in the best way, but you also do all the work that needs to be done inside and out.
0:14:00.0 Alishia: Inside is just as important as the outside. It really is. I can't even stress that enough. And for somebody who's struggled with infertility, losing babies, being overweight most of my adult life, it's... Finding you guys had shown me that there is a way and has given me hope. And I'm 42 and I'm like... I thought, "I'm 42." I said, "Hell no it ain't too late for me. I'm not even at the back half of my life yet."
0:14:23.1 Jared Hamilton: Right.
0:14:24.1 Alishia: I'm like, "Let's do this."
0:14:25.9 Jared Hamilton: I love it. That's incredible. That's... I really appreciate that. That was so beautifully said. I'm curious, Sydnee, from your end, what's your perspective on that? 'Cause this is the thing that I think is the craziest part about coaching done the right way. Alishia, how long did you say the struggle had been up until now?
0:14:42.5 Alishia: My whole life. I was a chubby kid and we were never really given healthy food or healthy options, exercising. So I never adopted any really healthy habits. And when I would try, I would do, I guess what you guys would call the bad dieting, and I would fall right off again 'cause I would deprive myself of foods and I'm like, "Oh, screw this," or I would try to hit the gym and do all the wrong things. So pretty much my whole life has been a struggle, if I'm being honest, my whole life up until now.
0:15:13.5 Jared Hamilton: Got it. So we're talking about like. So... Let's... To be conservative, like three and a half...
0:15:17.8 Alishia: 30 years.
0:15:18.8 Jared Hamilton: Three decades, right?
0:15:19.6 Alishia: Yeah, at least.
0:15:20.9 Jared Hamilton: So we went from three decades of struggle to this kind of transformation in three months.
0:15:27.3 Alishia: Absolutely, and I wouldn't lie about it. [chuckle]
0:15:30.2 Jared Hamilton: Which is... So I'm curious, Sydnee, from your perspective, what's the... From the coach's side, what are your thoughts on that?
0:15:35.4 Sydnee: Yeah, I mean, it's really been incredible to watch Alishia go through this. I remember our first call that we had together, she's like, "I wanna do this and I wanna do this, but I am so, so mean to myself, but I'm not like that for other people. And I give everything I am to everyone else, but I don't do anything for myself." And I'm like, "We're gonna change that." And Alishia just... She does an amazing job just, number one, giving me all the details. No matter how she's feeling or anything, she just gives me so many, so many details on her check-ins, which is so, so helpful.
[laughter]
0:16:10.3 Sydnee: And number two, she's not afraid to any homework that I give her or things that I'm like, "Hey, let's try this. Let's try this." She's like, "Okay, I'm all-in." Even if it's uncomfortable, even if it sounds crazy, we're gonna do it and she gives it her all. And it's just been incredible. Like even I think starting check-in three, I was like, "Holy shit, girl. Can you see the difference here versus week one?" Week one, you were like, "I have no wins," and week three, it's like a paragraph. Amazing, amazing, amazing.
0:16:40.9 Jared Hamilton: And that's the thing. This is exactly what I mean by... When we tell people you don't need more time, you need more awareness. This is when we do the right changes internally and mentally and emotionally. It instantly manifests on the surface of results, which is why... It is that missing piece. You know what I mean? So I'm curious, Alishia, for you, what part of... Amongst everything so far, what... Could you say what's been the most transformative? Was there one or two things that really like, "Oh my gosh, that was the thing for me"?
0:17:13.7 Alishia: I think accountability was the first one is... When you don't like yourself very much, you don't hold yourself accountable. You don't hold yourself to a standard. But when you meet someone like Sydnee and you and... Sydnee, I love her to death. I mean, you've been incredible.
0:17:30.8 Jared Hamilton: She's great. [laughter]
0:17:32.3 Alishia: And I'm like, "Wait, I don't wanna disappoint her, in a sense. So I wanna show her that I'm all-in." And I think that was one huge turning point is being accountable to her made me start wanting to be accountable for myself. I still obviously need the accountability and some work, but it's definitely a shift. So that I would say is definitely an important thing. And some of the things on the 180 Academy, like the inner workings, the inner child, all that stuff has definitely played a part. And I think that the biggest thing for me was my relationship with food was I had to realize that I also looked at food not just for emotional, but celebration. So when I get really happy, I wanna go eat something, because in my family, growing up in a big Italian family, I don't know how big you guys' family were, I had over 20 cousins, my grandmother had eight kids, so all summer long and even through the winter, every weekend there was a party and it was always, "What are you bringing to the party? Oh my God, let's try this. Let's taste this."
0:18:32.9 Alishia: So I associate food with celebration as well. So I had a combination. So I'm sad, I wanna eat because, of course, my family would feed me when you're sad, but hey, I'm happy, I wanna eat. So I had to learn about my relationship with food, and I think that if more people would take the time and really pay attention to that, and like you said, awareness, just being aware of, "Okay, I eat when I'm sad, maybe I need to do something else," or, "I eat when I'm happy. Let me celebrate in another way." And, "Oh, maybe I need to journal," like trying to be more aware of... And aware of the wins. I think that was a turning point too, is when Sydnee's like, "Girl, look at your picture alone," and I'm like... And she circled it. She's like, "I want you to look here and here, and I think being made aware of the wins was huge for me too. It's like, wait, I don't have to look for it 'cause the scale just started going down after two months. The scale wasn't moving, but my clothes were fitting different. I was sitting a little bit taller. I was feeling a little bit better. But I was ignoring all that because I was looking for that scale. So Sydnee's like, "No, no." So I would say the wins, accountability and doing the inner work in your relationship with food has definitely been the turning point.
0:19:43.3 Jared Hamilton: And do you feel like fat loss is just so much easier now?
0:19:47.0 Alishia: Absolutely. 'Cause it's not just about that, it's... And it's just coming off now. It's like, "Oh, hey, wait, another half a pound just came off because now I'm not about focusing on... "
0:19:57.5 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, let's go.
0:20:00.1 Alishia: And yeah, it's so much easier. It's so much easier.
0:20:01.2 Jared Hamilton: I love that. This is exactly what I mean when I tell people and talk about in content that doing the inner work is the magic key for all of it. Because I always ask everyone, I go, "If I could just snap my fingers and all the weight comes off, would you be good?" Everyone's answer is no, because they have all this other bullshit, the emotional eating, the food relationships, the guilt, the self-hatred. So that's when we have to white-knuckle through weight loss. But if we fix you from the inside-out first, dieting from the inside-out, well, now, weight loss just happens as a by-product, so now...
0:20:31.6 Alishia: Absolutely.
0:20:32.4 Jared Hamilton: I don't wanna say effortless, but it's hella easier.
0:20:36.4 Alishia: Oh yeah.
0:20:39.7 Jared Hamilton: Does it feel like... Let me ask you this. I always ask everyone this. Does it almost feel like you're getting away with something bad? Does it feel like the hat's about to drop like it should be this easy?
0:20:46.3 Alishia: Sometimes I'm like, "Wait a minute. I didn't really have to do all the... " And you kinda look over your shoulder waiting for that thing.
0:20:53.8 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.
0:20:54.9 Alishia: So sometimes. And I'm definitely... But I'm definitely putting... Obviously, working out is still something huge for me, getting used to working out. I have muscles that are sore that I didn't even know I had anymore and I'm like, "Oh, damn." But yeah, sometimes I'm like, "Wait, this was this easy all along?" But you have to get through what you call the bullshit and the inner and the... You have to dig into some of that. I've cried with Sydnee. I'm... Like she said with my check-ins, I've always been honest about how I felt about certain things, my stress levels. You have to kinda get your hands dirty to get to where it feels easier. So I just... I hope other people... And I'm, again, 42. It's not too late to do that.
0:21:34.1 Jared Hamilton: That's huge. Sydnee, from your perspective, where did you see the shift started? We see like... I know with everyone, sometimes it's like, well, I'll call slow growth, where it's... It's like watching your hair grow out, it's so slow with the person's transformation and it's... You can't really point that was the moment. So from your perspective, did you see it as that, or was it like, "No, that was the moment it changed"?
0:21:56.5 Sydnee: I think there was kind of a combination of both. I think that there was kind of like a mini-shift right? As soon as she started journaling, she's like, "Okay, this is fricking incredible. I should have been doing this my whole life." But I think as soon as she started journaling consistently, that's kind of where things started to take a turn in the positive direction. And then we had a... There was one... I think that the biggest shift is there was one check-in where the one Alishia was feeling frustrated that she didn't see the scale move, but there were all of these other wins and I'm like... And she's beating herself up. And I'm like, "If you saw someone trying their hardest and they were doing amazing and just trying, would you call them a piece of shit and not think that they were amazing?"
0:22:45.0 Sydnee: And I think that's kind of when the light bulb turned on. She's going to school, she has a stressful job, all of these different things, and being able to just take what I say and do it and just shift that perspective has just... I would say that's where her turning point is, just being able to recognize those wins and change her perspective and really her identity to a lot of identity work with her.
0:23:12.4 Alishia: Oh yeah, I'm not the fat girl anymore. I'm not...
0:23:16.7 Jared Hamilton: No.
0:23:17.2 Alishia: I don't make the fat jokes before anybody else has a chance to. I'm just like, "Hey, yeah, I know I'm awesome, you're gonna love me," is more of my attitude. And I do look... Like what Sydnee was saying, I started also looking through the lens of... I have three nephews, which I've told you both about. They're my heart. And I look at them and I'm like, "Would I talk to them like that? Absolutely not. I would cut someone for talking to them like that. So maybe I shouldn't do that to myself." And I wanna be a role model for them. If they see me being mean to myself, that's not gonna teach them a healthy way to look at themselves either. So I try to tell them how amazing they are every day, but if they see me doing the opposite... Actions speak louder than words. That's where that comes in.
0:24:02.2 Jared Hamilton: One thing... I wanna back up to one thing that you've mentioned a couple times, and I think it's a really important point to bring up because we all agree on this, but societally, it's different. When you start... 'Cause it's interesting, the way you talk about body positivity, which is very different than what society's body positivity is right now.
0:24:17.0 Alishia: Absolutely.
0:24:18.7 Jared Hamilton: 'Cause Alishia, you said... Your words were, if I remember correctly from a few minutes ago, you said that you now love yourself enough to have a standard for yourself, which is why you're executing. Now, the thing is, most people say "I love myself... " 'Cause this is a dichotomy. Most people don't think they can love themselves and work on themselves. It's like they're mutually exclusive like, "For me to love myself, I have to accept my bad character traits and I have to accept my shitty standards and my bad behavior, or I have to hate myself in changing," but you've met this magical little middle ground and you've talked about it accidentally on where your real body positivity is loving yourself and choosing to have a standard for yourself in changing. So for you, how is that different than "I love myself, I accept everything about me"? Where is that dichotomy for you?
0:25:08.9 Alishia: I would say... I mean, I had to... If I'm understanding, I mean, I think if... For loving yourself, and you're always gonna have to work on yourself, you need to love yourself enough to work on that. As you are, there's nothing wrong with a heavy... There's nothing wrong with me. And I think that social media is... Oh my God, some of these girls that you see, and even I still... I'm like, "Oh man." But if you love yourself enough, you have to always be working on yourself. And give yourself a break. I guess the word is grace. Give yourself some grace. "There's nothing wrong with me. Okay, I'm chubby. Okay, there's just more to me to love." Trying to shift that thinking. My husband absolutely adores me the way I am. I needed to start seeing myself that way. So I think a lot of people, like you said, they go, "Oh, I have to hate myself for all my... " No, you do not. You don't. 'Cause if we have to hate ourselves for everything we did wrong or everything, every scar... I have scars everywhere. Now I'm just like, "Oh, that's cool. It just makes me more unique."
0:26:07.2 Alishia: I now have 10 tattoos and I'm like, "Yeah, that makes me awesome."
0:26:10.9 Jared Hamilton: There you go.
0:26:12.0 Alishia: If people could start shifting themselves of, okay, well, yeah, that person may look beautiful all dolled up, but take some of that make-up off and they're gonna be human too. So I don't know if that's kind of what you were like...
0:26:23.5 Jared Hamilton: It is, it is, it is, because this is the dichotomy where most people struggle with. 'Cause you also said, "If I can't love myself now, I won't love myself 100 pounds lighter." And I agree with that. But you also said, "Well, I love myself enough to have standards for myself and to work on myself." This is the magic sweet spot 'cause it...
0:26:41.0 Alishia: Oh, yeah, I wanted to make myself a priority. I'm important. So I guess that's where... I love myself enough to know that I need to work on certain things. I'm not bad. I just need to learn a better way to be healthy and to be good to my body.
0:26:58.1 Jared Hamilton: Right, I love that. Sydnee, what are your thoughts on that? 'Cause I know a lot of people struggle with that, like with the self-love of accepting yourself, but then enabling yourself versus that whole mutually exclusive thing. What are your thoughts on that?
0:27:12.9 Sydnee: Yeah. So one thought that came to my mind as you were talking, Alishia, is I think that people think that there's this end point where you never have to work on yourself, but I think that there's just different levels. So as you work on yourself and you have that standard, you get to that place, and then you should always be wanting to be more, wanting to be better and continue to grow. It doesn't end. Even for myself as a coach, I'm always still working and still doing all of that. And so I think just not allowing yourself to have that limited mindset, have that open mindset where you're able to continue growing like you're always gonna be growing. So learn to love yourself where you are, so that you can continue to love yourself and have a desire and a want to continue growing.
0:28:00.6 Alishia: And self-love is really difficult. It really is. And especially, like I said, with the exposure with social media and people put these perfect, what we call perfect people out there and, "Oh that's what you should be," no, you should be exactly who you are, a human being, and just take good care of yourself, put yourself a priority and raise your standards of, "No, I don't wanna be this person. I wanna take better care of myself." And school helped with that too. Getting into school was huge for me. It was huge. My husband's... I got an email from his union, "Hey, we're offering free school to the spouses of union members." I'm like, "What?" And that was huge for me to get in and to be doing good with that and learning more about... My teachers are emailing me all the time about my writing and how great it is and how... 'Cause I share a lot of personal things. I'm not embarrassed for what I've gone through. I was telling I think both of you, I was abused as a child, so having... Liking my body just was not there. I was being hit and mentally abused and... There's no body love there. I was just... Of course, that and sharing that with my school has helped. They're like, "You're ready now to be a social worker." I'm like, "Okay, let's do this. Let's do the thing."
0:29:12.8 Jared Hamilton: Right. That's amazing.
0:29:14.3 Alishia: "Just give me a job." [laughter]
0:29:15.0 Sydnee: Well, I think there too, for... Sorry. For people listening is like, you can still make these changes with working a full-time job, with going to school, with doing the inner work. It is possible. It's not like I give Alishia 40 hours of homework a week. Right? It's these small and simple habits that we work on every week that build and build and build and build and build that create the success and the results.
0:29:43.6 Alishia: You've been amazing, Sydnee. You told me I was gonna hate you. I haven't hated you yet. She's like, "You might hate me." I'm like, "No, not at all. I don't think so."
0:29:50.3 Jared Hamilton: Program's not over yet. [laughter]
0:29:52.6 Sydnee: We still got time, girl. [laughter]
0:29:55.7 Jared Hamilton: That's right. So Alishia, I'm curious, for you, like you've talked about, you've got a lot on the table. You've got... Even for those listening, off-camera, we were talking about she's making some crazy-ass Italian food for the holidays here in like a day or two. And there's a lot going on. You got a big family. You've got your work, you've got your husband, you've got your school, you got all this crazy shit going on. So then how do you juggle it all? How do you balance on top of that, putting so much effort into yourself, losing weight, doing the inner work and getting crazy results? How do you balance it all?
0:30:31.4 Alishia: So I found one of my biggest problems is I was also giving my energy to a lot of people, and not to be mean, but that didn't deserve it. I'm a worrier. I worry about everybody.
0:30:40.6 Jared Hamilton: Really?
0:30:41.0 Alishia: Yeah, yeah.
0:30:42.1 Jared Hamilton: That's fine.
0:30:44.2 Alishia: I was just giving a lot of people who didn't even want the help, so I'm like... So I started taking some of that energy back for myself, and I put myself on a schedule like, "Okay, well, these are my workout day, so I need to be up around 4:30, quarter-to-five." And then I journal in the morning. I start out with my affirmations. I start my journal, I do my workout, I go to work. After work, I come home and at school, work until dinner and sometimes after dinner, and then I'm in bed by 9 o'clock and I'm getting enough sleep. So it's just... I'm a very scheduled person. It's making that time because you have to make yourself a priority. Some people are like, "Well, I can't... " No, I told my boss, "Listen, I'm going to school. This is what I'm gonna need. This is how I'm gonna need it." And you have to kind of set yourself a schedule, I think is what helped me was just...
0:31:29.7 Alishia: And I also... I don't have kids, so I can't imagine having kids. But you're gonna have to schedule for yourself. You have to make yourself important like, "Hey," if you're married, "Hon, I need you to take the kids because I need this time," or somehow fit it in. But that's my schedule. I know what days I need to get up, when to fit in what I need to fit in. And to have downtime. Everybody needs downtime. I like watching TV sometimes. I have shows that I like. So I make time for everything.
0:32:00.6 Jared Hamilton: What I hear the dominating factor through all that is just so much ownership. When you say like, "No, this is a priority," like you're getting up at fucking 4:30 in the morning, that's absurd. That's gross. But at the end of the day, that's one of my favorite questions to ask higher-performing people or people who juggle a lot and achieve a lot is like, how do you balance it? 'Cause that's everyone's question right about now, it's like, "Oh wow. How do I even make that happen?" But you just said it. You prioritize it. You said, "It's my schedule and I go, 'Where can I make this work?'" You didn't go, "I might make it work if it's convenient for me and I feel like it." You know what I mean?
0:32:40.2 Alishia: It has to work. If you want it bad enough, you're gonna make it work.
0:32:43.8 Jared Hamilton: Are you always this motivated?
0:32:45.9 Alishia: No. [laughter] No, not at all. That comes mostly lately. Since my shift has changed and working with Sydnee, my motivation has definitely gotten better. I still have my days, don't get me wrong, I have days. But even those days, I'm up working out, I think I had told Sydnee, I'm like, there was this day and I really didn't wanna get out of bed, and I turned and I said, "Get the fuck up," and of course, my husband... He's like, "Are you talking... " I'm like, "No, I'm not talking to you. I was talking to myself, to tell myself to get out of bed." It's like you have to get out of bed, you have a workout, you have a routine to stick to. So I am motivated most of the time, but I watch those... Actually, that's perfect that you said it, 'cause I watched your modules on that. That's not always gonna be there. You're gonna be tired for us women, we go through that stuff, that you're just like, "Oh man." I mean, there's always gonna be days where you're just like, "I really don't want to," but those are the days that I feel are most important to show up is the days that you really don't wanna show up. Those are the ones that you definitely need to show up.
0:33:52.6 Jared Hamilton: You're fucking preaching. I love this. Geez.
[laughter]
0:33:58.1 Sydnee: Speaking on that subject, I remember her asking me like, "Hey, there was a day I really didn't feel like working out. Do you really feel like working out every day?" And I'm like, "Absolutely not." So I don't want people to think that just because you're a coach or just because you're like, "Yes, it's 4:00 in the morning, I can't wait to hit the gym." I had a day earlier this week that I was like, "I do not even wanna be here, but I showed up, I went there and you still gave it your all because... Don't half-ass it. Go and keep those promises fulfilled."
0:34:25.8 Jared Hamilton: Only full-ass in here.
0:34:26.7 Alishia: Yeah, only full-asses. That's right. [laughter]
0:34:31.8 Jared Hamilton: It's funny, when people think like us fitness-y, coach-y people, I actually think it's worse 'cause here's what's funny, a lot of times looking from the outside in, people think just because someone's... We'll call it a fitness professional. They think we love the fitness thing so much. It's actually not true. Most people who actually succeed really far in the business and coaching side, isn't people who just love working out and eating right, it's the people who love helping other people. That's the big... What they enjoy the most. If anything, I find... 'Cause most of my friends are all fitness people, we actually enjoy fitness-y stuff the least amount than almost anyone, because we eat, sleep and breathe it. Versus Everyone who they work out, let's say they go to their nine-to-five, they have their life, kids, work, school, that, and fitness is like their outlet, they like... For me, Jiu-jitsu's my outlet. I love... I am motivated to go to Jiu-jitsu 90% of the time. I love going to practice because it's my hobby I look forward to. But if I taught Jiu-jitsu, created Jiu-jitsu content every day, and I coach people on Jiu-jitsu, guess what, I would stop loving Jiu-jitsu because it encompasses me. So I think a lot of people looking at fitness-y people, it's actually... We actually enjoy it, I think, less because we eat, sleep and breathe it versus someone who does it as their outlet.
0:35:49.2 Alishia: I love that, and I think if more were honest about that too, and let people know, you think we wanna do this? I found that Sydnee always being honest with me like, "Yeah, sometimes I don't feel like it either," and your calls where you say the same thing, it makes that big... If they're like, "Well, they don't feel like it sometimes too," so I'm not so odd.
0:36:07.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.
0:36:07.9 Alishia: That's a normal feeling to have. And I think you guys also encompass everything. When you go to, let's say a nutritionist, like my endocrinologist office, they have a nutritionist, well, they're only working on one aspect. Well, this is what you should be... You guys work on a whole round complete thing, and that's I think what people need, not to have five separate things but an all-in one, in a sense is, "Okay, this is my person, and they're gonna be honest with me, and I can be honest with them." I tell Sydnee everything. Sometimes I'm like, "If I'm too much, please tell me 'cause I share everything, like everything." [laughter]
0:36:45.8 Jared Hamilton: Well, here's the thing though. Yeah, is there coaching and the fitness-y side of stuff like, yeah, but if you think about... But when we coach, it's not just nutrition. That's why when people say, "Are you a nutrition coach?" I'm like, "Kind of." Because it's so much more than that.
0:37:00.0 Alishia: Exactly.
0:37:01.7 Jared Hamilton: It's coaching the mental, the emotional, arguably spiritual and nutritional, but it's all of these things, habits, whereas it's coaching the whole person and I think that's where most coaching programs go south is they only think about, "What are your calories and macros? And here's some workouts." And those are valid, but the problem is, what happens when we're emotionally eating? What happens when we're self-deprecating? What happens when we've been binge eating for the last decade? What happens when we... All these other things. Well, that's the foundation of who you are, so it's no wonder fitness nutrition doesn't work very well. We have to fix it from the foundational standpoint first.
0:37:36.0 Alishia: Yeah, I liked your analogy of a house. You're like, "I'm rebuilding my house and my house is looking pretty damn good, just saying."
0:37:43.2 Jared Hamilton: There you go.
0:37:43.2 Alishia: I'm like, hey.
0:37:45.3 Jared Hamilton: And it's only been like three months. That's what I'm talking about. I love it.
0:37:46.8 Alishia: I'm like, I'm kind of digging my house. It might be time for another tattoo to reward myself. [laughter]
0:37:53.5 Jared Hamilton: I love it. I'm looking right now for more. So for real though, I'm curious, so let me ask you this, what do you do when you mess up? Because a lot of times people... I'm sure there are people listening to this is like, "Okay, yeah," she's on cloud nine, but what does she do when like... She has a bad day or things go south, or she over-sleeps? How do you handle your rough days?
0:38:15.9 Alishia: So my rough days in the beginning, which Sydnee knows, I would beat myself up. If I'm gonna help people, be honest about it. I was mean, like, "Oh, you're a piece of shit. Oh, look at you. Here we go again, just falling right back." Now it's, "Eh, alright, I had about day. Shit happens." And I journal about it or I talk to Sydnee about it, or even if I have to cry a little bit because I do have bad days that aren't just about fitness. I have my days... I think I told Sydnee, there was a day where I actually... They put me in a new office with somebody that I didn't quite wanna be with, and I actually had a really tough time with that and I had a hissy fit like a child. I will be honest, I know how to throw a fit like a two-year-old. It's great.
0:39:05.4 Alishia: But I was able to reel myself back in quickly like, "Okay, you had your moment." I like what you say Jared about sitting with yourself. I think people have to sit... If you try to shove those feelings down, that's what makes them worse. So my bad days, I let them come, I let the feelings come. I recognize where they're coming from like, "Okay, I'm missing my Aunt Macky today, 'cause she passed and she... I'm really missing her today." I let myself cry. I let myself have that. There's nothing wrong. I think more people need to watch the movie Inside Out. I don't know if you guys have seen that. Sydnee, you have...
0:39:38.4 Sydnee: Yes.
0:39:39.8 Alishia: Inside Out is the perfect explanation of why we need all our emotions and it's okay to have them all. So yes, I have bad days. Yes, right now I'm on cloud nine, but I could have a panic attack tonight in the middle of the night, and then tomorrow feel a little drained, but I don't beat myself up anymore either. That's the other key is when you have a bad day, realize everybody has them and give yourself grace like, "Yeah, alright, I had a bad day, so does everybody else." Being mean to yourself is just not gonna do any good.
0:40:07.4 Jared Hamilton: When did that shift happen for you, specifically with how you treat yourself? 'Cause you were a fucking... From everything you've said, you were a degenerate to yourself.
[laughter]
0:40:16.9 Alishia: That's putting it mildly. [laughter]
0:40:19.5 Jared Hamilton: Right. You were like... Like I said, we can say whatever words we want here. This is my house. So...
0:40:24.1 Alishia: I was brought in... One of the most things I think, if I'm gonna be completely open and for anybody this might help is not being able to have children was a really big one for me. And I was so mean about that. I was like, "Well, what kind of woman are you? You can't even do the one thing you were created to do." And boy, was that rotten. So I think that shift probably, I wanna say maybe a month ago. I think after talking to Sydnee in my check-ins and journaling and I actually... I think I might have told Sydnee this too, is my abuser was my brother, and recently he got arrested and I actually did something very brave that I think shifted me. I called the prosecutor and I asked if I could help them, and it was the most empowering thing because I was scared, I was terrified to make that phone call, but I did it. I talked to my counselor and I was like, "Hey, what do you think?" and he's like, "Absolutely." And I think that taking your power back can help too, especially if there's people that do have... And it's any kind of trauma. It could be abuse.
0:41:34.9 Alishia: In my case, infertility too, that was a big trauma and you have to just... You have to make room for everything. You have to be able to sit and make room for it, but don't live there. Don't live in that spot. You don't deserve to live in that spot. That's the other thing, realizing that you don't deserve, sorry, to feel like that about yourself. You don't deserve it. You didn't do anything wrong.
0:41:55.7 Jared Hamilton: That's so powerful. I really appreciate you being this open, 'cause I know this is helping more people than you imagine.
0:42:01.5 Alishia: I'm not embarrassed. I've been through a lot. I should write a book.
0:42:06.3 Jared Hamilton: You shouldn't be. Right? You should, absolutely. You should start your own fucking podcast. Look how well you're speaking about all this stuff.
0:42:11.5 Alishia: And had you asked me to do this a few months ago, I probably would have said, "Nope, I can't be on camera. I can't talk." Now it's like I wanna tell everybody that I can help to show up for yourself, you're worth it.
0:42:22.4 Jared Hamilton: Well, and here's the thing, I think especially along the lines of the abuse stuff, statistically, I think was it one in four women? And so just from the podcast alone, at the time we're recording this, I just looked the other day, we're sitting in around 500,000 downloads, so like a half a million. So that's on paper, 100,000 ladies that are in your shoes. And I think a lot of people... 'Cause I have a lot of people in my circle who have struggled with some of that stuff. And I know so many people who have been through levels of abuse like that struggle with worthiness and feeling like they're supposed to be happy, strictly just because of that instance.
0:43:00.8 Alishia: Absolutely.
0:43:00.9 Jared Hamilton: You know what I mean? But I think it's amazing that through allowing those feelings to be there like you've been doing, through allowing yourself to be coachable with Sydnee like you've been doing, but then most importantly, like you said it earlier in a different context, you said like talk is cheap, your actions speak louder than words, your actions have taught yourself you are worth it and being shown up for and that you're loved because it's in your actions. If we shut the sound off to everything in your life, you've shown this internal side of you that you're worth being shown up for, so then it's no wonder why on the surface you feel so much better.
0:43:34.0 Alishia: Yeah, absolutely.
0:43:36.9 Jared Hamilton: It's crazy, the full circle of all this.
0:43:38.3 Alishia: Oh, it is. It's absolutely like I said in looking at things through the lens of my nephews too helped in the beginning to get past... If I could give advice to anybody is, if you're mean to yourself, picture saying that to either your eight-year-old self or somebody that you love. Would you talk to them like that? Would you treat them like that? Would you tell them that they're not worthy? I mean, even through my abuse and stuff, I could have turned out completely different and I didn't. I turned out one of the most compassionate, loving people, even through everything I went through. And I tell my nephews all the time how amazing they are and how great they are because people need to hear that. So you need to tell yourself that and if you can't right away, tell it to some... Picture someone you love and say that to them, or if you're about to tell yourself you're a piece of shit, picture someone you love, would you tell them that they're not worthy? Would you tell them that they're no good or that they can't do it? No, you wouldn't. Absolutely you wouldn't. Unless you're a really, really big asshole, you're not gonna tell somebody you love that they're unworthy. You're not gonna do that.
0:44:38.2 Jared Hamilton: Oh fuck, I love it. You're hilarious.
[syllabus.
0:44:41.8 Sydnee: I know. She's so much fun. [laughter]
0:44:45.7 Alishia: One of the things my counselor gave me, which was really, actually really funny, I'm a Harry Potter geek, I have about three Harry Potter tattoos including Hogwarts castle on my leg.
0:44:55.2 Jared Hamilton: Of course you do. That's amazing.
0:44:55.2 Alishia: 'Cause I wanna go there. I mean, if you could see my office right now, I even have an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. It's bad.
0:45:00.7 Sydnee: Nice.
0:45:01.9 Alishia: So I'm speaking to my counselor one day and he's like, "Listen, I want you to try something for me," and I'm like, "What? What do you want me to try?" And he's like, "When that inner voice, because we all have that voice that's mean to us," he's like, "I want you to give it a face. Give it a name so that you could project it outside of you and tell it to shut the fuck up." My counselor swears too. It's great. So at first we were joking around like, "Oh, like Evil Alishia," and I'm like, "No, Evil Alishia can be fun. We can't do that to her." So I decided to use Voldemort from Harry Porter. So...
0:45:32.4 Jared Hamilton: I love it.
0:45:34.2 Alishia: When my inner voice is mean, I picture Voldemort and I'm like, "Go fuck yourself, dude," or like casting the killing spell on him and stuff and... But through this, and I told Sydnee recently, I haven't had to do that. My inner voice has actually been quiet, like the quietest. It's been probably, sorry, my entire life...
0:45:57.9 Jared Hamilton: No it's great.
0:45:58.0 Alishia: Like quiet. There's no, "You're a piece of shit." There's no "You're unworthy." It's, "No, you're worthy. Look at you go. Look what you're doing." And it's such an incredible feeling. And I love it. I love that feeling of, "Okay, I had a bad moment, not a bad week. Okay, you had a bad hour, not a bad month." It's just such a difference.
0:46:21.6 Jared Hamilton: I've always said when you fix yourself in the... I'm sorry. When you lose weight the right way, it changes everything. It doesn't... If you just lose weight and stay the same, you in your life outside and the fat loss stays the same, you did it wrong. But when you lose weight the right way and all this kind of shit happens, you're doing it... That's the right way, how to do this.
0:46:39.4 Alishia: That's the thing. We're talking about all the inner work, but it's like, "Damn, by the way, I'm losing weight too." [laughter]
0:46:48.2 Sydnee: Yes, side note.
0:46:51.1 Alishia: Yeah, side note, I am losing the weight. [laughter]
0:46:52.4 Jared Hamilton: "PS, body fat is literally falling off me as we speak."
0:46:55.5 Alishia: It's great. [laughter]
0:46:58.3 Jared Hamilton: That's amazing. What are your thoughts on all this, Sydnee?
0:47:00.2 Sydnee: I just love Alishia. [laughter] She has just been such a great client and like I said earlier, just not afraid to try, not afraid to do, not afraid to share everything. And that's really... From day one, she's been vulnerable with me, she shared everything, and I think that's really been a key to her success is just not holding back, having honest conversations, when she's having a hard day, she shoots me a message and I get through it and we talk through it together. And she's just awesome. [laughter]
0:47:36.4 Alishia: Thank you.
0:47:36.5 Jared Hamilton: I love it. I love it.
0:47:39.4 Sydnee: You're welcome.
0:47:39.5 Jared Hamilton: If you had to say what's... If you had to give a bullet or two, what's made her so successful like this, to turn around three decades worth of bullshit in three months like this? I know we don't like to talk about timelines very much, but to just call it what it is, she's literally turned around three decades worth of bullshit in 90 days. If I put that on a sales page, everyone... I would sound like every other asshole on the internet. But this is very normal for a lot of coaching, even though we don't like to talk about timelines, but why has he been so successful in your eyes?
0:48:13.4 Sydnee: So I think, number one, she committed from day one that, "Hey, I'm going to try everything that you suggest, no matter how stupid or silly or... " What do you call it? What do you call journaling here? It sounds like crazy and hippy like...
0:48:32.0 Alishia: Hippy-dippy.
[laughter]
0:48:36.4 Jared Hamilton: Hippy-dippy.
0:48:36.8 Sydnee: Yeah, she's been compliant. She's just jumped in with two feet and just hasn't questioned. She's like, " Okay, I'll try it. Okay, I'll try it. Okay, I'll try it." I think also just that continuation of keeping promises to herself. And then we did have her with her journaling, finding affirmations of things that she liked about herself. I had her choose two things every day that were different, and I let her keep one thing that was the same to just practice doing that. But going through and really searching for things that she loved about herself was really huge too.
0:49:11.0 Jared Hamilton: That's huge. I'm curious now that since we've... It's been brought up a few times, Alishia, for you, why... How to word this? How have you been able to just effortlessly jump in like that? Like a lot of people have... When it's... Especially with uncomfortable and gross stuff, most people are like, they're, they're like not cool, fully bought in sometimes with doing like journaling and inner child work or workouts that they're not used to or whatever the case is, but you're like, "Fuck it, let's go." Why is that like that though? Or are you just that kind of a person?
0:49:39.6 Alishia: Most... No, I shouldn't say I'm necessarily that kind of person because if I was uncomfortable with something, I wouldn't do it. But a wise person once said, if it makes you uncomfortable, then it's probably the right thing. And for whatever reason, it rang a little bit. And I think with getting into school, boosting my confidence and I'm like, "Alright, if you wanna get through school and you wanna really show people what you're capable of, you might have to do this thing." And then I'm like, "Eh." And then I was, I was... It was tough, but I'm like, "If you're gonna... You gotta go big or go home. If you're not gonna go in with two feet, you're not gonna get out of it as much as you could if you dive all the way in. If you half-ass it, you're not... You're only gonna get half out of it."
0:50:19.7 Alishia: So you need to jump. And usually if I am going... If I get to the point where I'm ready to do something, I am gonna jump full way. But you have to be ready to be uncomfortable. And let me tell you something, working out, that was uncomfortable, absolutely. My body was not... Forgot what it was like to actually work out. I used to dance when I was... But I like, "Oh damn." But ask Sydnee, there's... I had questions, I'm like, "Oh, am I doing this right?" or "Hey, what do I... " And I watched the videos of her, the form of everything. And she's right. I will try anything. I don't care if you tell me to run across the street, I'm gonna do whatever. And even if they hurt...
0:50:54.6 Jared Hamilton: I love it.
0:50:55.1 Alishia: I mean, I think one of the things that I'm doing right now is those elevated squats that we talked about. And I'm like, "Oh my God." But I do them and I... I almost feel like too, that gives you a sense of accomplishment. Like "Yeah, I am at least, even if I don't do all 10 of them, I did eight, I'm a badass 'cause I did it." And you have to dive in. And if you're scared, it's probably the right thing. Usually the right things are the ones that scare you 'cause change is scary. Trying something new is scary. But if I could give advice, give this a shot... You guys encompass everything that people need. I may still need outside counseling for the bigger things sometimes, but you guys encompass the inner work, everything. So if I was gonna tell anybody in my situation, I would dive in with you guys in a heartbeat. Just dive all the way in trust. You have to have trust. And I know that that's hard, but I usually give trust right away until you break it. And Sydnee has been amazing with me, absolutely amazing with me. I have no... She could ask me to do anything and I wouldn't question it. Well, I mean, maybe certain things, but... [laughter]
0:52:03.1 Jared Hamilton: Who wants a Hamilton Trained tattoo? [laughter]
0:52:06.9 Alishia: Listen, I might put... I could put that on my back.
0:52:08.3 Sydnee: Right here.
0:52:08.9 Alishia: I'll be walking advertisement for you. I mean...
0:52:12.8 Jared Hamilton: Just put tram stamp just right across the low back. That'll be good for you.
0:52:14.9 Alishia: You have to dive in. You have to dive full in and you owe it to yourself. If you're looking to do this because you know you need to be healthy, then you already made the decision that you need to be healthy. Well if you want to dive right in, give yourself a shot. Give yourself the chance. You're not gonna know what you could do unless you dive all the way in.
0:52:34.1 Jared Hamilton: That's so good. Well I was actually about to ask you what you would say to someone that was where, or that is where you were, but you just... I guess someone's reading ahead on the syllabus. This is fine. [laughter]
0:52:43.0 Alishia: Sorry. [laughter]
0:52:46.5 Jared Hamilton: I love it. Man, this has been so good. I can't believe 45 minutes has already gone by. This is...
0:52:51.3 Alishia: Oh my goodness. No, I love talking to you guys and...
0:52:53.5 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, this has been great.
0:52:54.1 Alishia: If I can make a difference for somebody, it's all the more worth it at this point.
0:52:58.3 Jared Hamilton: I promise that hundreds of thousands of people are gonna be getting some help. 'ause again, it's, it's one thing for Fitness Jared and Fitness Sydnee to say things, but a lot of times some people just have that, but they don't get it. They're not in my shoes right now. But a story like yours is way more relatable. So I really appreciate you being so vulnerable and coming on here and stuff. So...
0:53:19.2 Alishia: Of course. I mean, like I said, I'm not embarrassed for what I went through. It just made me the person I am. It's all pieces of me. You're not your trauma, you're not your abuse, you're not your... You're a person. I'm Alishia. I went through some shit, but I'm Alishia. It's just a piece of me that made me up to be the incredible person that I am becoming.
0:53:38.6 Jared Hamilton: I love that. Well we are so proud of you. You've been fucking amazing.
0:53:42.9 Alishia: Oh, you guys are amazing. [laughter]
0:53:45.7 Jared Hamilton: Any final thoughts Sydnee, before we sign off?
0:53:47.8 Sydnee: No, I think just listen to Alishia's story and Alishia, keep kicking ass and love yourself. [laughter]
0:53:54.8 Alishia: Thank you. And thanks for having me.
0:53:58.7 Jared Hamilton: Absolutely, absolutely. I appreciate you doing this. Cool. Well we will talk soon.
0:54:02.5 Alishia: Okay. Thank you, guys.
0:54:05.5 Jared Hamilton: And we're back. Thank you so much guys for tuning into another episode of Dieting From The Inside Out, because as we know it, outer work without inner work doesn't work and it's why we talk about the deep stuff. I do not get out of bed for surface level bullshit because it doesn't change your situation and it doesn't change who you are and you have to go deep. This is why Alishia has seen such crazy results. It's why we're able to guarantee our results with our clients. And it's why our program always works. It's why this content that I teach always works because we are going to the deep root cause. It's why on my big sleeve tattoo, if you're watching the video, roots are showing on my tree because if you want to change the fruit, you have to address the roots. And that's what we're doing here.
0:54:45.2 Jared Hamilton: That's why everything comes down to dieting from the inside out. So thank you again for listening to today's episode. Before you go, I do have a few things for you. Number one, big thank you, I appreciate you being here. If you haven't already, be sure and subscribe to the show. That way you don't miss out on any episodes. 'Cause I have some cool shit coming as I have had cool shit coming. If you have not left a review of the show, it would mean a ton to me, for real. It would mean the world to me. If you left a five-star review and some honest thoughts, on how much the show has helped you, it would mean a shit ton to me, like I said, wherever you're listening to this on. My other... My biggest ask is this, if you get value from this, just share the show.
0:55:22.7 Jared Hamilton: That's all I'm asking. We put a lot of time, a lot of energy and a lot of money into the show and don't charge for it. I don't do like a Patreon to where you can only listen to the episode, if you go on the Patreon, anything like that. My one ask is you just share the show. Every episode that you go, "Damn, that was good," I want you to share it with one person, or put shout in on social media or whatever the case is. If there's an episode you didn't like and you didn't care for, then cool, don't don't share the show. But if you're like, "Damn, that helped me a lot," well, it's selfish to keep that information to yourself. If it helped you, it's gonna help someone else. So be sure and share this with a friend who would get value out of it.
0:55:58.7 Jared Hamilton: That way we can get this content and this culture to more ears. Because I would love it if the industry moved to a trend of everyone dieting from the inside out. And I would just... That'd be the coolest thing ever. So be sure and do that. Be sure and subscribe wherever you're listening to it on. Because we're everywhere. We have the show on YouTube, if you're into watching these interviews, if you're listening to this on the audio, go check out the YouTube where you can watch all three of us interact. If you're watching this on YouTube, go get it on like the audio, like Apple or Google or Spotify, whatever. If you haven't had a chance, go check out our brand new dietingfromtheinsideout.com website where everything the podcast touches is there, show notes are there, all the resources we talk about are there.
0:56:36.4 Jared Hamilton: The blog is there, how fucking cool is that, where we have the whole podcast transcribed into a blog and have show notes, have graphics, is the coolest thing ever. A lot of people have been enjoying that. And here's the thing, before you go, I have a couple of free things for you. Number one is if you aren't quite sure where to get started and you're just kind of new to this and you don't even know how to lose weight without your life sucking and it's just kind of all over the place and you've never been taught how to lose weight the right way, you should go through my free course. I have a free mini course. It's five days. It's a video course completely for free. It's called the Fat Loss Checklist. And I'm just gonna show you in a checklist format, here's what you need to lose weight, keep it off and make this game sustainable where your life doesn't suck.
0:57:15.6 Jared Hamilton: So I give you the exact blueprint for free. So I'll leave a link below for that. If you are kind of lost on your own and you're not quite sure where to get... Or you know what to do, but it's just not happening because you don't have support, you don't have accountability and you kind of feel alone, like you're lone wolfing it, like your partner doesn't get it, your kids don't give a fuck and your friends are insecure and are kinda like crabs in a bucket. If you're alone on this journey, you need to get a really good group of people around you. Community changes everything. You can take every issue that you have in a bad situation, put yourself in the right group of people and a lot of the problems will go away on their own.
0:57:49.8 Jared Hamilton: Just like we see law of association with kids, it's no different for you as an adult. So I have that completely for free. I have this amazing Facebook group called Fat Loss Simplified where I'm in there, my whole team is in there, we do trainings, we get you give you help, we give you support, we give you love, we give you accountability, not just for me, but from everyone else that are in the trenches just like you. And it sucks doing this by yourself, being alone and it's it's a terrible feeling. So you'll wanna join that group if you're not, it's completely for free. I put some of my best resources outside the podcast in that group. I'll leave a link below to join. And then finally, if you're still sticking around and you've been struggling, the, the mental bandwidth has just been overwhelming, if Alishia's story kinda hit home with you, with what she struggled with and how hard this journey has been, how many years of struggle it's been, if that's you, I'm telling you, coaching is the best way to fast track your results with the least amount of friction.
0:58:43.5 Jared Hamilton: For me, I see so many people that are saying, "Oh, I know what to do, I just don't do it." Well, it's because you need the accountability of a coach. Or if you do everything right, but then something always happens, it means you need a second pair of eyes watching what's going on so we can spot the sabotage, right? There's a million reasons that qualify you for coaching. And for me, I can always go make more money. I cannot get my time back. And if I can work with someone in a mentorship-like fashion that is buying me time back...
0:59:09.6 Jared Hamilton: 'Cause you have to understand, depending on your situation, you only have so many failures in the tank left before your psychology is completely addicted to the failure. It's why so many people who diet for decades, they do everything right and then something always happens and they drift back to where they were, even if they're losing weight sustainably because of that conditioning we've talked about. Well, if you're going through this and you're struggling, I'm telling you coaching is the one way to buy your time back because you only have so many years left with your kids. You only have so many, so many life events left that you're missing out on because of whatever reason around weight loss. You have only so many events with your partner that you can... That you have left that... And if they're filled with being insecure right now, you only have so many memories you can create.
0:59:56.2 Jared Hamilton: And if you've got like 90% of your mental bandwidth is taken by struggle around weight loss and food and all of this, we can end that in the next six to 12 months, quite literally with... It's very normal in my neck of the woods that we will end literally decades on, decades of struggle in a matter of months. It's, it's crazy. Don't believe me? Listen to more episodes like this where we interview our clients who are just like you. So if that's you and you feel like some heartstrings getting tugged and maybe you should see about getting help, we do have spots open and if we don't, we have a wait list, just depending on when you're watching this. But I will leave a link below that you can apply for coaching if that's kind of what you're looking into and you are wanting help, you don't just need help, but you want help, apply for coaching, that way we can make sure it's a good fit.
1:00:38.3 Jared Hamilton: Because luckily, we only work with people we know we can help. And if we can't help you, or I'm not convinced that we can, I will politely send you to someone else who I think can. So either way, we got you. So otherwise, I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you so much for being here. If you ever need anything, I'm always here. I'm cheering for you. I'm rooting for you. I'll talk to you next time.
[music]
About Alishia:
Growing up, Alishia never had a positive self body image. She never learned about healthy food choices and exercise wasn’t a part of her family's routine.
She was heavier and bounced between thinning out and then getting chubby again and again—and as she progressed into adulthood, she started gaining weight.
Alishia tried seeing dietitians, but found that there was always a disconnect with them—not only had the dietitians she worked with never struggled with weight, but it was really only the food side of things.
As time went on, Alishia pretty much gave up, believing that this was just who she was. Alishia is 42 years old, diabetic, and has had many struggles from anxiety and depression to going through several miscarriages.
Alishia has worked with a counselor on and off for the last 14 years and he told her that until she found the missing piece to really break through that final wall, that what they could do was limited.
After finding Jared’s content—and winning a scholarship to the 180 Impact coaching program—things really started to change.
Alishia has been in the coaching program for 9 weeks. In that time, her confidence has sky rocketed, the way she looks at food has changed, the way she talks to herself has changed, and she is now working out and meeting her goals.
For Alishia, the inner work has been revolutionary. If she has a bad day, she no longer gives up or gets thrown off track for months—and she now understands that being heavy isn’t, “the way she’s supposed to be.”
Before coaching, Alishia struggled to find one thing she liked about herself and would even go so far as to tell her husband that she was “too big for him and he should find someone else,” but now—even though she has her phases—Alishia’s attitude has shifted completely.
She finds wins in everything now, not just with the scale. Alishia has found hope that she never had before.
Sydnee’s Perspective on Alishia’s Mental Transformation:
Sydnee remembers her first call with Alishia and how she expressed the desire to change—but that while she was kind and supportive of others, she didn’t treat herself well at all.
Alishia has always been very transparent with Sydnee and has been unafraid to go all in and try any homework that Sydnee gives to her.
Even after just 3 weeks, Sydnee saw Alishia go from not being able to find a win to having a paragraph of wins.
What Was Most Impactful for Alishia:
One of the most impactful aspects of coaching for Alishia has been the accountability.
Coming into the 180 Impact program, Alishia really didn’t like herself, and because of that, she didn’t care about being accountable to herself.
Having Coach Sydnee—and wanting to be accountable to her—has also made Alishia want to be accountable to (and for) herself.
Secondly, the inner work and food relationship as a whole has played a huge part in Alishia’s transformation.
Growing up in a large, Italian family, Alishia learned not only to eat when she was sad, but also when she was happy. Food was both comforting and celebratory for her.
Now she is aware of her relationship with food and makes conscious decisions.
For example: if she is sad, she can stop herself before defaulting to eating and make the choice to journal instead.
Lastly, the ability to recognize wins has made a massive difference for Alishia.
Sydnee helped Alishia learn to recognize wins that weren’t related to the scale—like her clothes fitting better, her feeling better and more confident, etc.
In fact, Alishia’s weight has only started dropping in the past few weeks.
Now, Alishia isn’t focused on her weight and is finding losing fat to be much easier than ever before. She is still getting used to some things—like her workouts—but at 42 she now realizes that it's not too late.
She is definitely putting in work, but the process is much easier than she ever thought it could be.
Where Sydnee Saw Alishia’s Perspective Shift Happen:
Sydnee saw a mini shift come when Alishia started journaling consistently, but the most notable change happened after she had been in the coaching program, had been trying her hardest, doing the work, but the scale hadn’t moved.
Alishia was frustrated and was beating herself up, but Sydnee stopped her and asked her to look at the situation as though it was someone else, not herself, who was doing all these amazing things—juggling work and school, doing the coaching program, going all in—would she not think they were amazing?
That’s when the light bulb went off.
Sydnee has seen Alishia’s identity change a lot as well.
Alishia no longer sees herself as “the fat girl,” and she doesn’t try to make fat jokes before others can.
She is now in a place where she treats herself with love and respect.
Alishia strives to be a good role model for her nephews through her actions and the way she treats herself.
She has come to realize that telling her nephew’s how amazing they are isn’t enough, because actions speak louder than words, and if she is constantly putting herself down, it impacts them as well.
What ‘Body Positivity’ Really Means:
Jared notes that in society, body positivity is often, “I love myself and accept everything about me,” to the point of never changing.
He finds that people think they can’t love themselves AND change, but Alishia has found this magical middle ground where she loves herself enough to change and have standards for herself.
Alishia believes that you need to love yourself enough to work on yourself, but also give yourself grace.
There is nothing wrong with being heavy and Alishia is now in a place where she can be happy with where she is at, while still wanting to change and improve.
She now understands that she isn't “bad,” she just needs to learn a better way to be healthy and good to her body.
Coach Sydnee believes that people get caught up thinking that there is an end point where you no longer need to grow—but we should always be growing.
She says that you should love yourself where you are so you can love yourself as you continue to grow.
For Alishia, self-love has been a difficult thing to learn.
Being abused as a child, she started from a place where she didn’t love her body and she also finds social media can be tough to deal with, always seeing “perfect” snippets from other people.
Alishia has slowly built habits, a better self-image, and her identity through her coaching program—and through going back to school and performing well academically.
Balancing Life and Goals:
Alishia found that she was giving energy to people who really didn’t deserve it, so before anything else, she had to take that time and make herself a priority.
She is also a very scheduled person and, again, made herself a priority and put herself on a schedule so she could get her workouts in, go to work, do her school, and juggle her household responsibilities.
Alishia also recognizes the need for downtime. She has TV shows and things that she enjoys watching, so for her, a lot of it comes back to being on a schedule and making yourself a priority.
Alishia is not always super motivated—everyone has their days—but she believes that if you want it badly enough, you will make it work.
Even when she doesn’t feel like getting out of bed and doing her workout, she pushes through to stick to her schedule and show up for herself.
Coach Sydnee’s honesty with Alishia has also helped Alishia show up consistently.
For Alishia, knowing that Coach Sydnee also has days where she doesn’t feel motivated or doesn’t want to get up for her workout—and knowing that we all have to find ways to keep showing up despite our level of motivation—let’s her know that it's okay and normal to feel that way sometimes.
Handling Rough Days:
In the beginning, Alishia would really beat herself up over difficult days, but has now learned to give herself grace on those days and recognize that we all have ups and downs.
When she is feeling particularly emotional, she lets the feelings come, lets herself have those feelings, and sits with her feelings.
She says that you have to make room for everything—for various traumas you may have suffered.
For her, infertility and being abused were big, but while you need to make room for it, don’t live in that spot—you don’t deserve to live in that spot.
Jared has known a lot of women who have suffered from different forms of abuse and have struggled with feelings of worthiness, like Alishia, and points out that Alishia’s actions have taught her now that she is worth it and that she loves herself because she shows up for herself.
Alishia says, “If I could give advice to anybody: if you're mean to yourself, picture saying that to either your eight-year-old self or somebody that you love. Would you talk to them like that? Would you tell them that they're not worthy? Would you tell them that they're no good or that they can't do it? Absolutely not.”
Alishia also, at the direction of her counselor, gave her mean inner voice a face so she could tell it to shut up when those negative self-thoughts started to creep in.
Being a Harry Potter fan, Alishia chose Voldemort as the representation of her mean inner voice, which has helped her stop the negative self-talk.
Lately, through doing the inner work, Alishia has found that her mean inner voice has been silentand her positive self-talk has increased.
Doing the inner work has not only made Alishia mentally stronger, but she is also losing weight.
What’s Made Alishia Successful:
Sydnee believes that the key to Alishia’s success has been how willing she has been to share everything and go all in.
Alishia has consistently been very honest with Sydnee, letting her know when she’s had bad days, talking through her struggles, and she has been committed from day one.
Sydnee has found her willingness to try new things, like journaling, has also greatly contributed to her success.
Alishia had to get herself ready to be uncomfortable. Getting into school gave her confidence and she realized that if she wanted to really show people what she could do, she needed to be willing to go all in.
Being unsure of working out, how to do certain exercises, and of the process in general were all things she knew would be uncomfortable.
So she asked questions and has been willing to try it all.
Alishia believes that usually the right things are the ones that scare you because change is scary—trying something new is scary.
If she could give listener’s a piece of advice, it would be to give this a shot because 180 Impact encompasses everything that people need.
She closes by reminding listener’s that, “You're not your trauma, you're not your abuse, you're a person. Those are just pieces.”
FREEBIES & SPECIAL OFFERS:
‣ Special Coaching Offer calendar link for only podcast listeners: https://calendly.com/hamiltontrained/application-call-from-the-podcast
‣ Project90 - the exact 90-day blueprint on how to lose weight & never gain it back (without giving up the rest of your life): https://bit.ly/Project90Access
‣ Join my free Facebook group & get all my trainings: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fatlosssimplified
‣ Get my [Free] Fat Loss Check-list Course: https://bit.ly/5daychecklist
‣ The best supplements for weight loss video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfjByg4Zr_Y
‣ 1st Phorm Supplement Training (from our Facebook community): https://bit.ly/3hkBuLF
‣ Get FREE shipping on 1st Phorm Supplements: https://1stphorm.com/?a_aid=realjaredhamilton
‣ Use promo code HAMILTONTRAINED for 20% off at: https://www.flexpromeals.com
FIND ME ON:
‣ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realjaredhamilton
‣ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jaredhamilton
‣ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realjaredhamilton
‣ Contact
----
Post-Production by: David Margittai | In Post Media
Website: https://www.inpostmedia.com
Email: david@inpostmedia.com
© 2023 Jared Hamilton