Dieting From The Inside Out
- Feb 13

Creating Lasting & Sustainable Change with Sal Di Stefano | DFIO Ep.255

About Today's Episode:

Welcome back to another episode of Dieting From The Inside Out. I am so excited about this episode! Today, I am interviewing Sal Di Stefano from Mind Pump.

If you’re somehow not familiar with it, Mind Pump is one of the most popular podcasts within the fitness, weight loss, and transformation space. Sal is known as the “wisest man within the fitness industry,” and he is all about teaching this information from the deeper side, and how to make long-lasting change.

In today’s interview, you guys are going to learn about how to go about your transformation in a deeper way for long-term, sustainable change, how to enjoy the process, and how to become the kind of person who loves to take care of themselves the right way—where you can live a happy life, not deprive yourself, and love the way you look and feel.

If you’re struggling with how to lose weight in a sustainable way, how to enjoy the process, and want to build an amazing foundation of the inner game, you will get a TON from this episode.

Let’s get into it!

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Intro

02:24 Sponsors

05:25 Fitness as a Lifelong Journey

08:25 Where Bottlenecks Happen

31:15 The Man Who Loves to Walk

36:11 Should You Let Go of All Outcomes?

47:45 Final Thoughts and Where to Find Sal Online

49:47 Jared’s Outro and How to Apply for Coaching

Transcript (click to expand)

Ep. 255 Sal Di Stefano

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Creating Sustainable and Lasting Change with Sal Di Stefano | DFIO Ep.255

0:00:00.1 Sal Di Stefano: Exercise and diet changes how you think. It changes how you view the world. Do you wanna walk around feeling worse and having a more negative filter on the world? Do you want to have less inspirational ideas? Do you wanna be able to innovate less? Do you wanna have less patience, less empathy, less understanding? That's harder today, not later.

[music]

0:00:27.0 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, friends? Welcome back to another episode of Dieting From The Inside Out. I am so pumped about this episode that is dropping right now because I just had the pleasure of interviewing someone I look up to a lot, and someone so many of you look up to a lot. I just got done interviewing Sal Di Stefano. It is Sal from Mind Pump. So Mind Pump is one of the most popular podcast shows in the fitness, weight-loss... Excuse me. And transformation space, but Sal himself... Excuse me, sorry, I just finished this big long interview with him. Sal is, well, it's funny, he's labeled as the "wisest man in the fitness industry." Sal is a wealth of knowledge, in the way that he puts it, is the only right way and the only ethical way to go about teaching this information is from the deeper side, going deep with how to make long-lasting change.

0:01:18.4 Jared Hamilton: And I couldn't say it any better myself, so I'm so pumped to get on and talk with you, or share with you the interview I did with him. We got a... You'll have a lot out of this episode. You're gonna learn so much about how to do the deep work and cause long-term sustainable change, how to really enjoy the process. Because if you are incapable on enjoying the process, you will never get to where you wanna be. It's just not going to happen 'cause you just blatantly won't make it. So the question is, how do we do that? How does someone who hates the process learn to enjoy the process and become the kind of human who loves taking care of themselves the right way, where you can live your happy, balanced life, where you're not deprived, where you still love the way you look, you're getting healthy, and you love the way you feel?

0:02:01.7 Jared Hamilton: So we got really, really deep in this one and talked about all sorts of stuff along these lines. So if you're struggling with how to enjoy the process, if you're struggling with keeping habits that are sustainable in losing weight the right way, and having an amazing foundation of an inner game, and being able to love yourself and work on yourself at the same time; if these are things you struggle with, you'll wanna stick around for the whole episode. So now, before we get into all of that, massive thank yous to the sponsors of the show. Sponsor number one is 1st Phorm. I switched it up on you today, [chuckle] so 1st Phorm, I'm wearing one of their shirts as always. In the world of supplements, guys, you know, supplements aren't everything, but when it's the appropriate time to take them, they can make a huge difference.

0:02:43.3 Jared Hamilton: So supplements are not the end-all be-all. Supplements are one of those things that they're only meant to fill gaps you are not getting with food. So with that being said, if you're not getting things like enough protein like Omegas, like the micro-nutrients that you aren't... If you're not getting those from real food, this is where supplements can come in and be very, very helpful, so... But they are not the end-all be-all. They are not your saving grace if you're not making progress. They're there to fill the gaps that food is not filling. So with that being said, if you are interested in taking them, filling some of those gaps, or are not sure of what you're taking is the best, definitely go hit the link below. Check out 1st Phorm's website. Check out what do they got going on there.

0:03:23.3 Jared Hamilton: If you're looking to upgrade your supplements, or if you're looking to just take higher quality things that you know are safe, know are effective, know are accurately dosed, actually tested in third party ways that isn't required, but that's what 1st Phorm does; definitely go check that out. And if you don't know where to get started with supplements, I'll leave my YouTube video down there below about kind of what I take, what most of our clients take, and where do you start with that? Then we have sponsor number two, which is FlexPro Meals. Now, FlexPro is always coming in clutch for me because my schedule is so crazy, so unpredictable, and so all over the place, and I do this really weird thing and I forget to eat a lot. It's annoying. But basically, I know how it is to have life all over the place.

0:04:04.7 Jared Hamilton: I am sure a lot of you listening have... Are always on the run, are always in the car, going through drive-throughs, taking kids to soccer practice, dance lessons, or dance practice, and all the different things. And sometimes it's just more convenient to hit a drive-through, or stop in a gas station, and so on and so forth; but the problem is, doing that very often and very consistently, will, number one, rack up a insane bill. You're gonna spend the most amount of money that way. And number two, you're gonna have a harder time getting to your goals. If you're in a drive-through three, four times a week, it's gonna be really hard to keep your calories restrained. It's gonna be hard to keep them in check without... And be satiated and be satisfied and things like that. So FlexPro is one of those things that makes it so easy to just have these foods and these meals in your fridge on deck for when you need them.

0:04:46.4 Jared Hamilton: Because they taste amazing, they're made by a chef, they're shipped right to your front door, and they are dialed in when it comes to your macros, like your protein and your calories, and then they are adding new meals like every month to their website. And on top of it, it's going to be cheaper and save you more money than going through fast food. So it's quite literally a win-win win all the way around. So definitely go check that them out, flexpromeals.com or hit the link in my description. But if you also use my code "HamiltonTrained" it'll save you an additional 20% at checkout, so it's really a no-brainer. Now, I will shut up now and I will get on to the interview with Sal. I know you're gonna get a lot of value out of this. I'll talk soon.

0:05:25.3 Jared Hamilton: That's cool, man. But like I said, I really appreciate you doing this and stuff, so it's super cool.

0:05:29.8 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah, of course.

0:05:32.2 Jared Hamilton: So for you, how does it feel to be labeled the wisest man in the fitness industry?

0:05:38.4 Sal Di Stefano: I think that's hilarious. That's not a high bar, so I guess it's a...

[laughter]

0:05:43.3 Jared Hamilton: That's funny, dude. That's funny.

0:05:44.2 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah.

0:05:46.1 Jared Hamilton: That's super cool. And the reason I wanted to get you on and talk is because... And we're already recording, by the way. The reason I wanted to get you on is just because of how deep you go with things. My show is called Dieting From The Inside Out, and where we just go a lot deeper with habitual stuff and the headspace and how to create really permanent results, just because I hate how surface level so much of the information and advice and tactics are. So for you, that's my big thing, is why I really wanted to get you on is just how deep you guys go with things and how to actually change and whatnot, so.

0:06:22.3 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah, I think that's the only way anyway, if you're looking for... Which I think people who get into exercise and trying to change their diets and improve themselves through health and fitness, they're all interested in permanent results. I don't think anybody thinks to themselves, "I wanna do something on a temporary basis." And the only way to make it permanent is to kinda go deep. It's really not a surfacey endeavor. It seems that way on the outside. I think people have a fundamental misunderstanding of what it really looks like to do this forever, but it's not. It's actually quite deep. It's a personal growth vehicle. It's a path that requires lots of change in fundamental aspects of your life.

0:07:15.2 Sal Di Stefano: How you view things, how you think about things, how you think about yourself; and it's a never-ending journey. And that's another big fundamental misunderstanding, 'cause I think people look at it as a destination, so like lose 20 pounds or look good for this trip, or whatever, but it doesn't work that way. It's like an ongoing forever thing. And so I like to communicate it very honestly, because I know firsthand that that increases the odds significantly of long-term forever success. But it is easy to... And I guess it's alluring to sell it as not this deep forever journey if I'm selling a product or a supplement or whatever, because, I mean, that's a hard way to sell something, right?

0:08:10.0 Jared Hamilton: Sure. [laughter]

0:08:10.2 Sal Di Stefano: So it's easier to tell somebody, "Just take these steps and then you're there and that's it," but the conversation needs to change 'cause what we've been doing has been failing miserably.

0:08:22.8 Jared Hamilton: Mm-hmm, yeah, no, I totally agree with that. Where do you think most people like, from a deeper level, like their fundamental bottleneck is? 'Cause at the end of day, we know like, yeah, eat less calories and what you take in, and strength train, like the very surface-level stuff. But from a deeper aspect of creating change that doesn't go away, that where we can sustainably have the result that we want, where do you think, from your perspective, people's bottleneck is or where they go wrong, from a deeper, more fundamental level?

0:08:53.7 Sal Di Stefano: Boy, that's a... That's complicated.

0:08:55.1 Jared Hamilton: I know. It's a loaded one. [laughter]

0:08:57.2 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah, that's a complicated question. But there's a few things we could talk about that I think are the big issues. One is, most people will think of a result that they're looking for. Call it a goal, right? So, "I wanna lose X amount of pounds," or, "I wanna sculpt my body," or, "I wanna look this particular way." And then they think to themselves, well, I can withstand or tolerate all the hard changes, all the crappy... The workouts and the saying no to certain types of foods, and getting up at a particular time, and going to bed at a particular time.

0:09:43.6 Sal Di Stefano: I can withstand all of that so I can get this particular result that I'm looking for. So that's kind of how they view it without realizing that fully. I don't think people fully realize that whatever they do to get to that result, if they do indeed accomplish it, which most people don't but let's say they do, is what they'll have to do for the rest of their lives, okay? So if you're thinking to yourself, "Well, for three months, I could eat... I could follow this super restrictive diet, and yeah, for three months, I can workout four days a week, and then I'll get that result that I'm looking for. I can do that for three months." Well, you ask them, "Can you do that forever?"

0:10:25.2 Jared Hamilton: Right. [laughter]

0:10:26.4 Sal Di Stefano: "Is this something you can do for the rest of your life?" And then the conversation changes a little bit. So there needs to be an acceptance and an understanding that my physical body, my mental well-being, my health, my wellness, a large part, a very large part... In fact, this is the only part you should pay attention to because it's the only one you really have influence over. A large part of it is my lifestyle. It's just... It's a reflection of how I live. Now, I said that's the only thing you should focus on because of course, there's things like genetics and...

0:11:05.8 Jared Hamilton: Sure.

0:11:06.7 Sal Di Stefano: Circumstances that are uncontrollable, but it doesn't matter because why should we focus on things we can't control? If we can't control, it makes no sense anyway, right? So...

0:11:15.0 Jared Hamilton: Right.

0:11:16.1 Sal Di Stefano: So how I look, how I feel, or my health, my wellness, is a reflection, largely a reflection of my lifestyle. So I have to change my lifestyle in order to have that reflection change or that result change. And the word "life" is in lifestyle, so this has to be done forever. Also, understand and accept that the process which, if you make it to the point where you can accept like, "Okay, this will be forever. This is gonna be a forever thing," then you also have to accept that the process will change any way, always. It has to. It's necessary. Why? You get older. Life circumstances change. Sometimes you... I have more stress at work. Sometimes your family needs more from you. Sometimes you're sick. Something may happen.

0:12:22.0 Sal Di Stefano: So it's literally this journey, this path. And you can understand the important components of this journey, but it's impossible to know exactly specifically what that journey is gonna look like. So you have to accept the fact that it's going to change and mold, and it's a exercise and nutrition and lifestyle, and things like sleep and stress, and even spiritual practice, which you throw in there, which is backed by endless studies. That those things are all tools, and they all contribute to your quality of life, your health and your wellness, and you have to be very open and accept that they'll change sometimes, and they're gonna have to.

0:13:13.9 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.

0:13:14.0 Sal Di Stefano: And this is forever. So once you make that understanding, okay? And you have to really accept it. It's not like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that, but I'm just worried about the next three months, and then I'll figure that out." This is what happens a lot of times, right? "I'll figure it out. Once I get there, I'll just figure it out." Okay? That's like saying, "Once I find somebody and we get married, I'll figure out the rest of it afterwards." It's like, "Oh... " You're setting yourself for failure if you don't accept the fact that this is gonna be a changing, challenging process and journey. Or raising kids, "Okay, I'll think about all the stuff when I have it, and then I'll think about it." Although I'll argue that having a child is a far stronger motivator if you love your kids, right? But...

0:14:02.2 Jared Hamilton: Sure.

0:14:03.1 Sal Di Stefano: But nonetheless, once you've made that understanding and accept that, then you have to make a choice. And the choice is... And this is a choice, okay? It's not an easy choice, but it is a choice. I have to either choose to enjoy the process or not, okay? And if I choose to not enjoy the process, I will, necessarily, if I do somehow, which you won't if you hate it, but if you somehow stick to it, I will necessarily hate the entire process and hate my life.

0:14:43.3 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.

0:14:44.0 Sal Di Stefano: So really the only answer is, accept this as a forever thing, accept that it's gonna change 'cause life changes, because it's a forever thing, there is no like, "Oh, it's gonna happen next week," or, "It's gonna... " It's like, "I got the next 50 years, 60 years." And also, I have to figure out how to enjoy this. I have to choose to find value and meaning in this, and to enjoy it. Now, I think it's important we define what I mean by enjoy. Years ago, when I first met my wife, she was really into hiking. She told me, "Sal, I'm really into hiking. I love hiking." And I'm like, "Me too. I love hiking too. Let's... Take me on some hikes." Now, my idea of hiking was very different from her idea of hiking.

[laughter]

0:15:37.3 Sal Di Stefano: When I say "I like hiking," I like going on trails, that kinda paved type of hiking trails or whatever. She likes to hike, which I found out, she took me on some, and it's like treacherous. It's like, "Oh crap, this is like... This is... "

0:15:54.9 Jared Hamilton: Oh, like bouldering and scaling shit? [chuckle]

0:15:57.8 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah, like wading through... These are like... I don't know how they classify them, but it's like a one to four, these are like level four hikes, with warning signs, and I mean, you know? We did the Kalalau Trail in Kauai where the locals are like, "Don't do that." You know? So...

[laughter]

0:16:15.0 Sal Di Stefano: So while we're doing these trails... And I had just met her, fell in love with her, so, you know? When you fall in love with someone, you're a guy, you tend to do stuff you normally wouldn't do. So I'm on these trails with her, and I'm thinking to myself like, "This sucks." Like, "This is hard. It's scary. I don't like walking on the side of a mountain and I could fall off on the end. I don't, you know? And I don't like looking like I'm scared in front of this girl that I just fell for." Because I don't wanna look like I'm... Obviously, I'm a guy, so I have an ego, right? In that sense. And she told me... And so as we're doing this, she goes, "Hey, this is hard. What do you think?" And I said, "I mean, I'll be honest with you. This is not what I thought you meant when you said hiking." And she said, "Well, this is type two enjoyment."

0:17:03.4 Sal Di Stefano: I said, "What's that?" And she's, "Well, type one enjoyment is it's fun in the moment like, 'Yay, this... We're having a great time.' Type two is after, like you did it, you look back, and go, 'Man, that was... I did that. That was really awesome.'" So why am I telling this story? Because what I mean by "enjoy the journey" I think sometimes people get confused and they think that means that they're going to love every second of it. "Oh my God, this is so fun. Waking up at 6:00 AM to workout," Or, "Wow, eating... " Saying no to the pizza and yes to the fish and vegetables like, "This is so fun." No, no, that's not what I mean by that. I mean, sometimes you will, by the way. Sometimes you will enjoy that in the moment, but you have to actually actively pursue enjoying the journey, 'cause that's the only way you'll be able to do this forever.

0:17:57.3 Sal Di Stefano: Now, there's pieces to that that are really important. One of which is you have to... People have to fundamentally change how they view exercise and how they view, for lack of a better term, diet. And I mean diet in the sense of like, "I'm trying to eat in a way that's healthier or in a way to lose weight or improve my performance or whatever." So I'm eating this particular way. They have to fundamentally change how they view those things, because if you view exercise as a punishment, then that's what it's gonna feel like. Why would you view exercise as a punishment? Well, because you're doing it because you hate yourself, because you hate your body, because you hate your belly, because you hate your flabby arms, because you hate you're too skinny, or too weak, or too slow, or too whatever.

0:18:54.7 Sal Di Stefano: If diet is restrictive, if it's... If you view diet as this necessary evil, where I have to restrict myself from all this other stuff I wanna do, then that's what it's always gonna feel like. It's always gonna feel like it sucks. Now, you could do this a different way. I could workout, and rather than saying, "I gotta workout 'cause my belly's fat and I don't look good." You could say, "Wow, my body definitely reflects the fact that I haven't taken care of it. I really haven't actively. So I'm gonna take care of my body. I'm gonna go to the gym and take care of myself." That's very different. It's very different to go to the gym and think, "I'm doing this for me to care for me." Versus, "I'm doing this 'cause I hate the way I look." For example. Same thing with diet. If you look at your food and you say, "Ugh, this is gross, but I don't deserve to eat the tasty stuff. I really want it, but I'm too fat, so this is what I'm gonna eat." It's gonna suck.

0:20:06.4 Sal Di Stefano: If you look at your food and go, "This is... I wanna take care of myself. I deserve to be healthy, and I deserve to be taken care of. Just like anybody else." It's a totally different mindset and understanding, and it leads to the type of enjoyment that I explained earlier. Now, you create balance. People talk about balance all the time in our space. You gotta have balance with your diet, you gotta have balance with your exercise. Well, you can't create balance if you're exercising and dieting because you're hating your body. You can create it if you're doing it because you're actively caring for your body. Because, let's say I wake up and I didn't have a good night of sleep, I really slept terribly. Well, caring for myself would be skipping the gym that day. But if I hated my body and I'm in that space of, "My belly is fat." And I had a shitty night of sleep, I'm probably gonna force myself to go to the gym and beat myself up a little bit.

0:21:04.0 Sal Di Stefano: Or, at some point, we get sick of hating ourselves, this is what ends up happening ultimately, and then we stop everything and we say to our friends and ourselves, "I just wanna enjoy my life. I'm done, I don't wanna do this crap anymore, I just wanna enjoy my life." Same thing with diet. If you're doing it 'cause you're caring for yourself, let's say I go out with my friends and I haven't seen them in a few weeks. And we're telling stories and talking about our kids and we're having a great time. They're like, "Hey, let's go get a burger at that place we used to go to." And I'm like, "You know what, yeah, let's do that." Because I'm caring for myself right now by connecting with my buddies and that's something we enjoyed. Versus hating yourself and saying something like, "No, I can't eat that." And then eventually rebelling when you get over it and say I wanna enjoy myself, and then you eat four burgers. So, that's the root of what you're talking about.

0:22:03.2 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.

0:22:04.1 Sal Di Stefano: Now everybody gets caught up in the how. What's the best way to exercise? What's the best diet? What's the best way to optimize my sleep? Or how do I maximize my fat-burning potential and stuff? And that's also important, but if you don't understand and work on what I just talked about, it doesn't matter. I don't care how great your approach is, it's not gonna matter at all. And I'll say this too, if you do this... If you come at it from the root of which I just talked about, caring for yourself, accepting this as a forever thing, consciously learning, 'cause this is a learning process.

0:22:45.9 Sal Di Stefano: Learning how to enjoy this process, enjoy this journey. If you do that, you will find the most effective way for you to exercise. You will find the most effective diet. Some people take longer than others, there's great resources out there that'll help you along this process. My podcast is one of those. But, you will, you will. If you do it for the right reasons, that means you're looking in the right places, and you will figure it out. And it's... The other way, it doesn't matter. It's not gonna happen for you.

0:23:23.6 Jared Hamilton: That was so well said. Thank you. That was so good. And what's crazy is, so much of what you just said boils so much down to the intention. Like the difference between beating yourself to shit because you hate everything about yourself, versus, "You know what, I deserve better. This is the standard I want for my life, and I'm doing this because I care about myself." Just that reframe and that intention switch changes absolutely everything.

0:23:49.1 Sal Di Stefano: It does, but I don't wanna make light of it, like it's this simple.

0:23:55.1 Jared Hamilton: Right.

0:23:55.2 Sal Di Stefano: It's a conscious, daily effort everyday. Because you're going to want to hate yourself.

0:24:05.9 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.

0:24:07.3 Sal Di Stefano: Why do we wanna hate ourselves? 'Cause you know yourself better than you know anybody else. You know your weaknesses, your thoughts, your vices. You know your intentions. So it's really easy to judge yourself as this bad person or this lazy person or blame, whatever. "If I just looked better. If I could just do this thing. And why do I do this to my... " Whatever. So it has to be a conscious effort on a daily basis. Now, it does get easier over time, because it starts to become your default. But initially you have to make a conscious effort because your operating system is what it is right now. And your operating system is this kind of self-running program.

0:24:57.6 Sal Di Stefano: And in order to change it, you have to consciously change it, consciously stop the process, consciously create new neural pathways. So they can show this now in studies, what happens to the brain for example, physical structures actually change in the brain, and the more you practice a thought process or a practice or whatever. The more you do that, the more your brain wires itself to make that more of an automatic thing, and then eventually it becomes more of this operating system. But it is a conscious thing, and it's more important than the diet and the exercise. It's more important than counting your calories or making sure you're doing the perfect amount of reps, or sets, or the right, most effective form of cardio.

0:25:45.3 Sal Di Stefano: This is why studies show that people who wanna lose weight who just go to therapy, have a higher success rate than people who go to nutritionists and sign up for workout classes. Therapist knows nothing about diet and exercise, doesn't even coach them on that. But the... What they're doing is, they're working on the root causes, and that allows them to make choices that stick at a higher rate than people who are hiring people who tell them exactly what to eat and what exercises to do. So, it's not just important, it's the most important thing. And the... You talked about going deep, there's no way to do this, or to talk about this with integrity without going deep.

0:26:32.9 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, I love that.

0:26:34.7 Sal Di Stefano: It's not, lose body fat, build muscle, we're done. It's not, just look better, be more fit, we're done. That's not even close to the whole conversation. And look, if somebody's listening and they're like, "Yeah right, that sounds so... That's too esoteric. That's... " Well look, here's your evidence. Look at the success rate, or should I say fail rate, of people who try to lose weight. Every year, every year, tens of millions, if not 100... Probably 100 million people in America lose weight, every single year. Every single year, 90% of them within a year gain it all back. Now, if I extend that out to five and 10 years, I bet you that number is north of 95%.

0:27:33.7 Sal Di Stefano: So, the odds of you failing within a year is 90%. What does that tell you? Well, what that tells you is, it's a lot more than people think it is. It's not this... It is deep, and that's exactly why it's challenging. And you gotta kinda understand that when you go into this. And another piece of that is, every time somebody loses weight and gains it back, forget the physiological effects of that, 'cause people argue, "It gets harder to lose the weight because your body adapts and our metabolism does this. And your hormones change and then you get older, so of course it's harder to lose." Forget all that, there's some truth to that, but forget that for a second. Every time you try and fail, you are closer to never trying again.

0:28:26.1 Jared Hamilton: So good.

0:28:27.1 Sal Di Stefano: Okay. So, the... Again, the whole, "I'll think about it when I get there." You only have a few failures in you, I'm just gonna tell you, that's most people. So at some point you're just gonna say, "Screw it, I give up. I'm not gonna try this anymore. Because I've tried every other way and I've tried white knuckling it, and it just doesn't work for me." And this is why you're hearing this... Why there's this message that obesity is a disease, that we don't have control over it. That's why that message gains traction. Because to somebody who's tried and lost, and gained and lost and gained, or... Three, four, five times, it sounds very true. It's like, "Oh, that makes sense, because I've tried, I really tried. And it just didn't work."

0:29:18.7 Sal Di Stefano: You just were doing it... You were going about it the wrong way, and I apologize to those people because no one, or very few people in the health and fitness space communicate this the right way. By the way, I don't think it's necessarily because of nefarious reasons, although that is also a part of it. There's definitely people that just wanna sell you stuff. I think a big part of it is, fitness fanatics are... They don't realize that they're communicating to non-fitness fanatics. So I'm a fitness fanatic, okay, I've been doing this since I was 14 for myself. I've been doing this professionally since I was 18. The message that, "Get up and do it anyway." Or, "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Or, "Beast mode." Or, "Food is just fuel. Don't worry about what it tastes like." That resonates with me 'cause I can do that, I can kind of like that.

0:30:21.4 Jared Hamilton: Sure.

0:30:24.1 Sal Di Stefano: But that is not at all an effective message to a non-fitness fanatic. It'd be like, you're into some hobby that you're just ultra super passionate about, and you're trying to convince somebody who could care less about your hobby to become as passionate about you, about your hobby. It ain't gonna happen. You gotta communicate it a little differently. So, our space sucks at this. They're really good at convincing people of the latest diet and the newest workout. They're really good at capturing you in your temporary state of motivation, but they're terrible at figuring out how to talk to people in ways that help them figure this out forever.

0:31:12.4 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. No, I totally agree with that. It reminds me a lot of... I don't know if this was recorded on your show or if it was a clip of you on a different show. But I think it was one of the clips that went viral all over the internet. It was the clip of when you said, "The man who loves to walk will walk further than the man who loves the destination." I swear there was like a month straight, I just... Every time I hoped on Instagram or TikTok, it was all over the place. But I think that really ties in well to this. And I was actually... I was wanting to bring that up, because all of the magic is in the process, 'cause that's where you're gonna spend all of the time and the habits that are gonna keep this... The success going forever. But...

0:31:50.8 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah.

0:31:52.3 Jared Hamilton: Go ahead.

0:31:53.2 Sal Di Stefano: Oh yeah, no, you're right. And that's... But I... Yeah, that did go viral, that's not... I didn't invent that understanding, that's old wisdom. Humans have understood that that is the key for, jeez, for as long as recorded religion and practices. This is echoed across the world. And I think it went viral because it resonates with people. So the key then is, "How do I become the man who loves walking?" That's the key. How, so you gotta ask yourself that, somebody who's watching this. How do I become the person who enjoys the process that leads to better health, better fitness, better wellness? How do I do that? That's what you need to ask yourself. And that may mean... Well, it's definitely gonna mean doing it for the right reasons, like I talked about earlier.

0:32:56.7 Sal Di Stefano: It may also mean finding the forms of activity that seem to bring you the most joy, not necessarily the activity that's the most effective. That may mean understanding that, for yourself, your quality of life, that getting a six pack. Why? That's not something for me, it's not something I really want, or I should say, it's not a lifestyle that I want so I'm not even gonna think about that, 'cause what it takes to do that... It's like this. I'll use another analogy. It's like people look at a billionaire entrepreneur. Like, "Oh wow, look at that. That billionaire. I'd wanna make a billion dollars." No, you don't. You don't wanna do what that person has done to do that. Most people don't. The vast majority of people, they want the billion dollars. So it's like, you look at the perfect body, "Oh, I want that perfect body."

0:34:05.0 Sal Di Stefano: No, you don't, you don't wanna live that lifestyle. Which is... I'm not disparaging anybody, this is just... Not only is it okay, but it's not okay to not understand that because you're only gonna harm yourself. You're only going to prevent yourself from improving the quality of your life. That's just the bottom line. So again, these are the conversations that need to be had and the understandings. And because it's a forever thing, because it's a, "I'm taking care of myself," thing. The journey and the process starts off appropriately, and it continues appropriately. What does that mean? Well, if you're not doing anything now, exercise-wise, then something is appropriate. I don't care if it's one day a week, a 15-minute walk. Remember, the time span is forever. Not 30 days from now, stop doing that, it's forever.

0:35:14.3 Sal Di Stefano: So, "Okay, how can I do this forever? I wanna learn how to enjoy the journey. Let me start with something that is for me, realistic. I think once a week of a 15-minute walk seems to be pretty realistic, let me just do that. And then the next time I feel like I can add something, I will." And if you do that, you... The trajectory... If you follow two lines that seem to be parallel, but one is just one degree off. If you follow those lines, the further you look at those lines, the further away... From here, it looks like they're parallel, but a 0.1 degree off, eventually the distance... If you go off infinite, the distance becomes infinite between the two lines. So that's how you end up making progress, that's how you end up keeping the progress. But again, this is a conversation that needs to be had.

0:36:08.2 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, I agree, that's such a good point. So I'm curious, from your perspective, for most people, should they... How to put it? Should they let go of all outcomes? 'Cause I feel like I see so many people in this dichotomy of like, "Okay, I get what you're saying. Let go of outcomes, stop being in a hurry and approach it this way." But then getting caught up in, "Oh, I'm not losing weight fast enough." Or, "Oh, I'm not getting here." I think that's where half the problems come in, is they get a little bit... We get too impatient. But where is that balance for you?

0:36:37.1 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah, so what helps a lot with that is being aware of all of the outcomes that are happening from these changes that you're making.

0:36:43.8 Jared Hamilton: That's so good.

0:36:47.9 Sal Di Stefano: So, weight loss is one metric. And it's not a perfect metric. It is a metric, but it's not a perfect one, not even close. It's one piece of this huge picture. It's like a 1000 piece puzzle. So weight loss is one piece, but so is, "I'm sleeping better." Or here's a big one. "I wasn't walking consistently six months ago. I've been doing it consistently for six months and I kind of enjoy it." That's a result to pay attention to. "My libido is better. My energy is better. I have less stiffness. I just feel better overall." Pay attention to everything, not just weight. Eventually your body will reflect all the positive changes, but don't be so narrow as to only pay attention to one metric. Because that one metric by itself... Look, I'll tell you what. You could get a really bad flu and lose weight. So if we're using weight as a metric, was that good? You could amputate your leg and you lose weight, is that good?

0:38:12.0 Sal Di Stefano: So my point with that is pay attention to all, to the entire thing and how you feel and your consistency and your attitudes toward yourself and towards this new process and this journey. And then you'll find that the outcomes are there. This whole process, something is happening each time. And then the ultimate side effect is the weight loss and the body looking different and all that stuff. And it's very pleasant, it's a very pleasant surprise almost. It's like, "Wow, I was feeling better, I was enjoying exercise, and then... And now I'm losing weight." This is when people... When I did this right, this is when clients would come to me and say, "I don't know... " And it's almost like they were baffled by it like, "This is so strange, my body's just losing weight now. Just... It doesn't feel... "

0:39:03.8 Jared Hamilton: [chuckle] Yeah.

0:39:04.8 Sal Di Stefano: "It feels like I'm not doing much or it feels like way easier."

0:39:10.4 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.

0:39:10.9 Sal Di Stefano: And it's like, "Well, you're doing a lot of stuff, it feels easier because of the way we're approaching it and how you view it." And that's what you wanna be. So yeah, I wouldn't... In fact, there's often... Depends on the client, but there were often times when I would tell a client if... Especially if they were body-obsessed, I would have them not weigh themselves at all. I would say, "Ignore that one metrics, and let's focus on everything else, 'cause that's gonna just spin you, it's gonna mess up your mindset. So we're not gonna weigh you for the next 60 days," and then we do the 60-day weigh-in, and then they'd always be shocked that they lost weight, or that they didn't gain weight. That was another one, like...

0:39:55.4 Sal Di Stefano: They're like, "My clothes are looser, I'm feeling good, oh my God!" I'm like, "Okay, don't weigh yourself, don't weigh yourself." And then two months later, we'd weigh them, and they'd be like, "I only lost two pounds on the scale." I say, "Well, you built a lot of muscle, you lost some body fat. Now imagine had you been weighing yourself this whole time, you would have been focused on that and freaking out instead of the fact that you're... You've lost size, 'cause you've... Obviously, body fat is more voluminous per pound than muscle. You've realized how amazing you feel, you love this process. Let's keep going. Let's try this another 60 days. Let's weigh you 60 days from now." And they're like, "Okay."

0:40:23.4 Jared Hamilton: Totally. That's amazing. It's funny, I think it's interesting that I see so many people, it's like they treat themselves and act like they're only body fat and muscles and nothing else, they're only body fat and muscles. The fact that they have a mindset, they have energy, they have happiness, they have an intellect, they're a spiritual being in a physical body, people forget that. And that it's just like, "No, I'm just body fat and muscle, so that's all that matters."

0:40:47.5 Sal Di Stefano: That's because we have attached exercise and diet to only how we look and maybe certain health markers, like extreme ones, like heart disease and cancer and stuff like that. But we haven't really... We don't... I guess if you ask somebody, they'll be like, "Yeah, I guess so," but nobody really thinks of it this way. It affects your entire quality of life, there's no more effective antidepressant, for example, than improving your health, exercising and eating right. It's... It provides meaning. It does, it does provide some meaning to your life. It's not the ultimate meaning, but it does provide some meaning. It's... It promotes personal growth, because it's a weekly thing you do for the rest of your life as your body's changing, as you're aging, as your life changes.

0:41:46.0 Sal Di Stefano: There's lots of acceptance that comes along with that, there's lots of learning how to fail and overcome, there's lots of accepting how bad you are at some exercises and then practicing and getting better. It's a lot like, look, if we had a magic pill, or let's say they invent a medication that you could take that gives you all the physical results. So you lose weight, build muscle, you look great. You're not gonna reap nearly the benefits that you would get from exercising, or the process I should say of learning how to exercise properly, do it forever and how to treat yourself well with diet and do that forever. You're not gonna get nearly the benefits. Even if all the physiological benefits are the same, you're not gonna get the same benefits. It's really... The example I give on the show is you could climb Mt. Everest, or you can get dropped off at the top with a helicopter.

0:42:52.1 Jared Hamilton: Yes, that's so good.

0:42:53.9 Sal Di Stefano: It's the same view. You're at the top... Everything... It's, "Oh my God, I'm at the top of Mt, Everest." One of them changed you fundamentally. The other one, maybe not so much.

0:43:03.0 Jared Hamilton: That's huge. That... I'm gonna steal that, that is such a good analogy. And I think that's the biggest theme that this episode has come out to be, is where everything is in the process. But I feel like it's always the most resistant thing everyone's about, they wanna be in it the least amount of time or... The analogy I use a lot is you have to live in the house that you build. If you're building this thing under stress, chaos, no sustainability, restriction, deprivation... Well, now you gotta live there. But what kinda house do you wanna live in? And I think that's the biggest thing.

0:43:36.9 Sal Di Stefano: Yeah, it's also this... We also kind of misunderstand, or I guess don't fully get that it's gonna be hard, and it's gonna suck anyway. So there's this false belief that if I exercise consistently, if I eat in a way to promote good health, that that's gonna be harder and suck more than not doing those things. False, false. If you compare the two, exercising consistently and eating in a way to be healthy is far easier than what happens when you don't.

0:44:24.8 Jared Hamilton: Sure.

0:44:25.6 Sal Di Stefano: Okay? It's far easier. It's easier to live, it's easier to move, it's easier to have good relationships, it's easier to think, and that's not even mentioning the chronic diseases and illnesses and issues that you develop if you don't do those things. So you look at somebody who's 100 pounds overweight, imagine if they weren't, but in order to not be, they had to exercise four days a week and eat really healthy. Which one of those is harder? Really, which one is harder? Okay? So again, there's this fundamental misunderstanding that we can avoid hard and challenging. No, you can't. It's coming, it's hard anyway, no escaping it. So this... On that level is also the better decision anyway. It's a lot easier to exercise a few days a week and eat healthy than it is to be sick, unhealthy or unwell.

0:45:29.5 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. Pay now or pay later, right? But the one is on your time clock, on your dime and on your control versus the alternative.

0:45:39.0 Sal Di Stefano: It's more than that, it's always pay now. Again, that's another misunderstanding like, "Well, eventually I'll get a heart disease, eventually I'll... " No, no, no, no. Right now, right now it's harder. You don't realize it, because you're not consciously choosing the harder route, or you think you're not. But exercise and diet changes how you think. It changes how you view the world, right now. This is not... I'm not making... Look, this is not my... I'm not giving anybody a breakthrough here, it's not like this is something I discovered, this is proven, proven, proven. Okay? Do you wanna walk around feeling worse and having a more negative filter on the world? Do you want to have less inspirational ideas? Do you wanna have... Do you wanna be able to innovate less? Do you wanna have less patience, less empathy, less understanding? Do you... That's harder today, not later.

0:46:47.8 Sal Di Stefano: It's not pay now, get the results later, that's also false. It's right now. Right now, if you're watching this, somebody's watching this, unless they had bad sleep, and they really needed to sleep or whatever, had they done some form of activity this morning, their day would be a little better than had they not. So, we're presenting ourselves with a false... The comparison is so false it's not even funny. It's like, "Hey, here's two paths, this one is gonna be a struggle, and it's gonna be hard and treacherous, but eventually you're gonna get to this wonderful place. And this one over here, you're gonna skate. It's gonna be easy, it's gonna be wonderful, but eventually you gotta be careful, 'cause it's gonna be a bad result." No, no, no. Both are hard. This one is way harder, way worse now, so pick now.

0:47:41.5 Jared Hamilton: That's such a good point. That is so good, that is so good. Sal, this has been such a joy. I really, really appreciate you doing this. I know we're coming up on time. This has been so good, so I really, really appreciate you doing this.

0:47:52.5 Sal Di Stefano: Thank you.

0:47:54.2 Jared Hamilton: So what are you guys working on right now? So what are you guys working on that you're excited about, that you're looking forward to going on right now?

0:48:01.9 Sal Di Stefano: Well, obvious... We're always trying to improve the effectiveness of the show, so obviously trying to reach a larger audience, but also how can we communicate the same ideas in different ways so that we can continue to resonate with more and more people. The goal was, it always has been, to shift the direction of the fitness industry to help with other coaches and trainers so that they can... 'Cause they're the ones that are really making a big difference when they train and work with people, help teach them how to do this in a way to where they're more effective. To make the... To continue to improve the show so that the fitness industry can really utilize its full potential, which the potential really is to solve a lot of our chronic health issues, both mentally and physically. So we're always working on that. We have a new program that we'll be releasing this month. This is the anniversary, 10-year anniversary of the first MAPS program.

0:49:01.1 Jared Hamilton: That's awesome.

0:49:02.5 Sal Di Stefano: So that's gonna be exciting. We are focused a lot on our YouTube channel, because we're trying to become a very visual show as well, we know we could reach a larger audience that way. So that's pretty much it for now.

0:49:14.9 Jared Hamilton: I love that, man. That's incredible. And you've... You guys have done such an amazing job with all of those things, it's incredible.

0:49:22.2 Sal Di Stefano: Thank you.

0:49:23.9 Jared Hamilton: Where can people find you? Where... If no one... If for some [chuckle] weird reason, no one knows you, so where can people find you, where is the best place to go?

0:49:31.1 Sal Di Stefano: So Mind Pump is the podcast, you can find us on YouTube or any podcast platform. And then you can... If you wanna find me personally, I'm on Twitter @mindpumpsal.

0:49:40.6 Jared Hamilton: I love it. Awesome brother man. Well, I really, really appreciate you doing this. Thank you once again, and we'll talk soon.

0:49:45.2 Sal Di Stefano: Thank you.

0:49:47.9 Jared Hamilton: And we are back. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode of Dieting From The Inside Out. I know if you stuck around and watched the whole thing, you got so many nuggets, so many amounts of gold from Sal. Like I said, they call him the wisest man in the fitness industry, and I think you can see why, on all different levels. Sal is a wealth of knowledge, and I'm so fortunate and thankful that he did the interview with me. So this was pretty awesome. So definitely go check him out, follow-up on what he's doing, send him a message, tell him you heard about him on the show, go subscribe to Mind Pump. Also, subscribe to Dieting From The Inside Out here if you haven't already, because we're putting out episodes every week. We're putting our episodes also on YouTube, that way you can watch the interviews and not just listen to them, especially if you like interviews like this where you would like to see us actually go back and forth.

0:50:33.0 Jared Hamilton: So it's pretty great. It's... We're doing a lot with the show right now. And I'm really happy with it, I'm really proud of it. Go also check out dietingfromtheinsideout.com, because we have everything about all the episodes categorized and all right there where everything is at. Because now we have not just the YouTube, plus now we have also... As we always have had, the audio, but then now we also have all the podcasts transcribed very blog-fashion. So if you would like to go recap the show, or if you'd like to... Getting snippets that you got out of it, or anything like that, or if you just blatantly would rather read than listen or watch, that's there as well. So be sure and check that out. Subscribe to the site, subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to the YouTube, subscribe to all my shit, damn it. [chuckle] But otherwise, I just appreciate you being here, nonetheless.

0:51:17.2 Jared Hamilton: Now, I do have some stuff in the comments section or the description for you. So if you're just getting started, if you're not quite sure where to go, what to do, you're like, "This is all overwhelming," go through my free course, it will simplify everything. It will make it super digestible, super simple, super palatable for you, and it'll make you realize you don't have to be a crazy fitness psychopath to lose some weight and get to where you wanna be. It's called the Fat Loss Checklist, so there's a link down in the description. Also, there's links to all my other socials if I'm not in your news feed, 'cause we're doing a lot with clips and shorter form content. What else do I have down there? If you haven't already joined my free Facebook community, you'll wanna join that as well, it's called Fat Loss Simplified.

0:51:58.0 Jared Hamilton: Because you need a hub, you need a place to go to where you can get loved on, support and get around like-minded people, because half of your problems will go away once you do that. And if you like this kind of deeper content, I put so much into that group, you'll wanna join me there. Now also, if you stuck around this long and you're like, "Well, I think I need some more... Maybe more one-on-one attention, more individualized help, a higher level of accountability. All the shit Sal said, I just don't even know where to get started with it." Well, the cool thing is, because my podcast listeners have a special place in my heart, you can go apply for coaching at the link down below that you can quite literally get right onto my team's schedule to apply for coaching, that way we can see what's going on with you, what your situation looks like, see if we're even the right fit on both sides, and then we could talk about potential options from there if you want.

0:52:43.7 Jared Hamilton: But the thing is that link will get you basically to the front of the line when applying for coaching. And because you're coming from the podcast, if you get accepted into coaching, I'm giving you about $4000 worth of extras totally for free just because you came from the podcast. So if you're sitting there, you're tired of... Like Sal said, is every time you do this and gain your weight back, try it on your own and fail, you're making it harder to come back again. Like he said, we only have so many fails in our system, unfortunately. So if you're worried about that, or you're tired of doing this on your own, definitely apply for coaching, and let's get you on the other side of this. But that is it for today's episode. Stay tuned for the new... We do episodes every week, so next Monday and Tuesday, we drop episodes. Otherwise, I love you, I will talk to you soon.

[music]

Fitness as a Lifelong Journey:

Sal believes that the only way to go about weight loss, health, and fitness is to go deep. He observes that most people who get into fitness are looking for lasting changes—which can only come about when you go beyond the surface.

He has noticed that many people have a fundamental misunderstanding about what it looks like to do this forever, noting that life-long fitness requires fundamental changes to one’s life, views, and thoughts.

Fitness is a never-ending journey, but many approach it as a destination—i.e. lose 20 lbs.

Sal admits it is alluring, and even easier, to sell fitness in a way that says “take these steps and then you’re there,” but the conversation needs to change for it to be sustainable.

Where Bottlenecks Happen:

To start, most people approach fitness from the perspective of a result that they are looking for—losing a certain number of pounds, sculpting their body a certain way, etc.

Then, they think they can tolerate all the hard changes—like workouts, not having certain foods, waking up/going to sleep at a certain time—to get this particular outcome, but they do not consider what they will have to do for the rest of their lives.

They are thinking about it in a short-term scope and aren’t asking themselves if they can do this for the rest of their life.

Sal believes that the only part you should pay attention to is your lifestyle because that is the only thing you can control. How you look, feel, and your health and wellness is a reflection of your lifestyle.

Your lifestyle is something that has to be done forever, but the process will have to evolve naturally.

As you get older, circumstances surrounding work or family can change.

Sal states that you have to accept that it’s a journey. You need to understand that the important components of the journey—exercise, nutrition, lifestyle, spiritual practice, etc.—may change over time, but this is a forever thing.

It also isn’t something that you can figure out later. You have to choose to either enjoy the process or not.

If you choose to not enjoy the process, you will necessarily hate it and thus hate your life.

Again, you have to accept that it's a forever thing. You have to choose to find value and meaning in it and enjoy it.

To define what he means by enjoy, Sal uses the example of when he met his wife: they both expressed that they liked hiking, but Sal thought of hiking as regular trails. His wife, however, enjoyed much more treacherous hikes.

He was in a situation where he was thinking “this sucks.”

The hikes were hard and scary. When his future wife asked him what he thought, Sal admitted that he had expected something different.

Her response was that this was “type 2 enjoyment.” She explained that type 1 enjoyment was fun in the moment, but type 2 enjoyment was fun when you look back and think, “Wow. I did that. That was awesome.”

Sal shares this story because when it comes to health and fitness—though you will sometimes have fun and enjoyment in the moment—you have to actively pursue enjoying the journey.

Part of learning to enjoy the life-long journey of health and fitness requires a shift in thinking about things like diet and exercise.

There has to be a fundamental change in your thinking.

For example, if you view exercise as a punishment—you won’t enjoy it.

So then why would you do it?

Because you “hate your body, or belly, or your flabby arms.”

When it comes to diet, if you view your diet as a necessary evil where you have to restrict yourself, it will always suck.

If you view it as, “my body needs to be cared for, so I’m going to the gym to take better care of myself,” exercise becomes a very different experience from when you approach it as something you are doing because you hate the way you look.

It’s the same with diet. If you look at your food and think, “I deserve to be healthy and I deserve to be taken care of,” your diet becomes that type 2 enjoyment.

This self-care approach also impacts your attitude when you have bad days.

Sometimes you will need a day off from the gym, and if you have a self-care mindset you will be able to recognize those times—as opposed to feeling like you need to force yourself because you hate the way you look.

Eventually, when you are forcing yourself to exercise and diet and you aren’t enjoying it, you will either get sick of it and give up or rebel and over-indulge.

Sal uses the example of hanging out with old friends you haven’t seen in a long time: if you are using the self-care approach, you will recognize that connecting with these friends and going out to eat at a favorite restaurant is a good thing for you in that moment; but if you are looking at your diet as a restriction, you’ll likely resist going out until you get sick of it and end up over-indulging.

Sal says that everyone gets caught up in the “how.”

How do I maximize my sleep?

How do I burn the most fat?

While that is important, you must work on the fundamental change in your thinking and enjoyment of the journey.

If you do that foundational work, you will find the optimal diet, exercise routines, etc. for yourself. You’ll figure it out because you’d be doing it for the right reasons.

Sal emphasizes that this process is not easy.

It is very easy to judge oneself because you know yourself best—all your strengths and weaknesses.

It is a conscious process. You have to consciously create new neural pathways by practicing the thought process you want.

He says this conscious process of changing your thinking is more important than the diet and exercise components.

Sal points out that studies have shown that people who want to lose weight and only go to therapy have a higher success rate than people who hire nutritionists and sign up for classes.

Even though the therapist doesn’t know about diet and exercise, they are working on the root of the issue. They succeed because they go deep. It’s not just “looking better-being more fit-we’re done.”

Sal says you just need to look at the success rate—or failure rate—of weight loss.

Millions of people will lose weight this year, and 90% of those who lost weight will gain it back within a year.

Every time you try to lose weight and fail, you are closer to never trying again.

He says this is why the message of obesity being a disease that we don’t have control over gains popularity—because it makes sense when you lose and gain over and over again; when you have really tried, but it never seems to work.

Sal apologizes to the listeners out there who have experienced this because he recognizes that many people in the health and fitness industry do not explain fitness in the right way.

He believes the primary reason for this is that fitness fanatics do not realize they are talking to non-fitness fanatics.

Messages like “get up and do it anyway,” or “food is just fuel,” are not effective for non-fitness fanatics.

The fitness industry is good at convincing people of the latest diet and exercise programs, but very bad at communicating the eternal aspect of health and fitness.

The Man Who Loves to Walk:

Jared references a post Sal made that went viral, where he said, “The man who loves to walk will walk further than the man who loves the destination,” and points out that all the magic is in the process—and that the habits are what keeps the success going forever.

Sal notes that the post came from old wisdom and goes on to say that the key is to ask yourself “how do I become the man who loves walking,” or, in other words, “how do I become that person who enjoys the process that leads to better health, better fitness, better wellness?”

It certainly means doing it for the right reasons, as discussed earlier, but it may also mean finding the right activities that bring you joy—and not necessarily the activity that is the “most effective.”

Understanding that, for your quality of life, you may not need a six-pack and for your lifestyle, it may not be reasonable.

He goes on to use the example of when a person sees a billionaire entrepreneur, and thinks, “oh, I want that,” but in reality, they don’t want to do what that entrepreneur has to do. They just want a billion dollars.

It’s the same when you see the “perfect body.”

You realistically may not want to do what has to be done to achieve that ideal—and that is okay.

It is okay to not truly want something like that. What’s not okay is to not understand that it isn’t something you truly want.

Pursuing something you don’t truly want will only prevent you from improving your quality of life.

The journey needs to start off appropriately to continue appropriately. If you are doing nothing right now, that could mean taking a 15-minute walk once a week.

Remember, the timespan is forever.

You need to start with something that is realistic for you and build from there.

Should You Let Go of All Outcomes:

Sal says that you need to be aware of all outcomes from the changes that you are making.

Weight loss is only a piece of the puzzle. Things like sleeping better or walking consistently for 6 months and finding you really enjoy it—those things are results.

You need to pay attention to everything, not just weight. Eventually, your body will reflect all the changes, but weight alone is not the whole story.

Pay attention to the entire thing—how you feel, your attitude, consistency, etc.—and you will find the outcomes from this process are there. Weight loss and the body looking different will come with time as you go through your journey.

Sal goes on to say that he has worked with certain clients who he instructed to not track their weight at all because they were body-obsessed and he knew that focusing on other metrics would be better for them.

These clients were often surprised when they finally did something like a 60-day weigh-in that they lost—or didn’t lose—much weight, but they felt better, their clothes fit better, they lost size, learned to enjoy the process, etc.

Jared has encountered many people who think of themselves as only body fat and muscles, and they neglect to acknowledge their mental and spiritual needs. They forget about the other facets and believe that all that matters is how they look.

Sal believes that this is because we have attached exercise and diet to how we look and maybe some extreme health markers like heart disease and cancer.

He goes on to talk about how improving your health—exercising and eating right—is the best antidepressant.

It provides some meaning to your life and it promotes personal growth because of its life-long nature. There is lots of acceptance learned from exercise—learning what you are bad at and learning to improve.

Sal goes on to say that even if you could take a pill that gives you all the same physical benefits—you lose weight, build muscle, and look great—but you won’t get nearly the same benefits as someone who went through the process of exercising, learning, and the lifelong journey of health.

You could climb Mt. Everest or you could get dropped off at the top by a helicopter—it’s the same view, but only one of them changes you fundamentally.

Jared finds that people often want to do everything in the least amount of time, but always points out that you have to live in the house that you build.

If you are building under stress, chaos, and deprivation, now you have to live there—but what kind of house do you want to live in?

Sal finds that there is a false belief that exercising and eating right will be harder and suck more than not doing those things.

If you compare the two, exercising consistently and eating in a way to be healthy is far easier.

It is easier to move, to have good relationships—it's easier to think.

In addition, you avoid some diseases and issues that come from being overweight/obese and having a poor diet.

He asks the listeners to consider a person who is 100 lbs overweight, and then to think about if this same person were not overweight, but had to exercise 4 days a week—which one of those is harder?

Sal says there is a misconception that we can avoid hard challenges, but the truth is that it’s coming anyway. It's much easier to exercise and eat healthy than to be sick and unhealthy.

Being sick and unhealthy is not something that just “happens later.” It’s harder right now, and exercise and diet changes how you think.

Ask yourself, do you want to walk around feeling worse and having a more negative filter on the world? Do you want to have fewer inspirational ideas and be less innovative? Do you want to have less patience, empathy, and understanding? Those things are harder today.

It’s not "pay now, get the results later."

If you are listening (or reading this) right now, your day would be a little better if you got up and did some form of physical activity than if you didn’t.