About Today’s Episode:
I am super excited for today’s guest! In this episode, I am speaking with Aram Grigorian, and man, he is just brilliant when it comes to the inner workings of how to change your life.
We talk about how to be successful, how to change your life, and, honestly, just a lot of real talk that a lot of people need to hear.
We also got into a lot about being honest with yourself, holding yourself accountable, and what it takes to go from where you’re at to where you want to be.
I know you all are going to really enjoy this one!
TIMESTAMPS
03:06 Sponsors
06:13 About Aram
37:45 Resistance and Suffering
48:05 Being Solutions Oriented
01:07:08 Perspective
01:14:13 Being Scared of Maintenance
Transcript (Click to expand)
About Aram:
Aram comes from the finance and sales world. He worked various corporate jobs over the years but consistently worked as a personal trainer on the side. In 2012, after getting laid off, Aram dove fully into becoming a personal trainer.
After becoming a trainer, Aram bounced around a little. Some clients would offer him sales jobs—and in those days he was focused on “chasing money”—but eventually, his perspective shifted as he realized that he just wasn’t really happy doing that.
Aram wanted to coach people and began pursuing certifications and independent education. This led to Aram moving out to California and re-establishing his training business online.
Aram focused on creating content that would be useful to the average individual who is struggling.
Weight Loss, Happiness, and Moderation:
Jared and Aram have both found that, oftentimes, when people pursue weight loss—and achieve it—they aren’t any happier.
Aram believes that many people get “red car syndrome,” where all they see are red cars. The red car could be weight loss, money, whatever. However, you cannot reap the benefits of any achievement if it’s not something that you have truly spent time thinking about.
He believes that if you truly wanted to achieve some big goal, you would pursue all the small things that lead to it—and celebrate those little wins.
Achievement doesn’t have to be 7% body fat. Achievement can be:
“My digestion is better.”
“I am connecting with my loved ones more.”
“I’m more productive.”
It comes in many forms.
Aram also finds that many people lack self-moderation and simply say yes to everything they want to do—going out, drinking, etc. However, you can’t expect to look and feel amazing if you’re never moderating yourself at all.
Jared often finds that people are “all-or-nothing,” particularly where diet and fitness are concerned. They either go full bodybuilder, “I can’t have this or that, I can’t eat doughnuts,” or they say “fuck it,” and eat the whole bag.
He believes that a middle ground truly exists for the average person, but most have an especially hard time finding it.
Aram believes that balance is earned.
Anytime a person is pursuing some goal, their life is unbalanced while in pursuit of it. For example, If you’re trying to earn a promotion at work, you may be putting in especially long hours.
It’s the same with fitness.
If you want an aesthetic change, you have to moderate—especially your eating behavior—and you have to make your lifestyle conducive to what you're doing in the gym.
Aram continues to say that there’s nothing wrong with wanting a balanced lifestyle, but you have to mitigate expectations.
You also have to have patience on your fitness journey. You can’t quit at the first sign of resistance or because you’re not getting results fast enough.
Following a nutrition plan and working out won’t produce immediate, visible changes, but after a number of months—if you stick with it—there will be a positive change.
Self-Awareness and Success:
Aram believes that one of the most detrimental phrases that people say is, “I don't want to have to think about it,” in reference to nutrition and exercise.
Many people want to act like calories aren’t real, but they are.
He puts it plainly, “You’re fat because you eat too much.”
“It’s not depression, PCOS, endometriosis, or whatever—those things may have led to you not caring about what you eat, but you’re overweight because of overeating.”
If you can't moderate your daily living with everything that surrounds us you're not going to set yourself up for success. The world doesn't want you to be successful. Our system is set up for you to be sick, stupid, and unhealthy.
Aram uses COVID as an example: many people put on weight during the pandemic because they chose to eat like shit, drink, etc.
Aram went through a very difficult break-up during COVID, but his healthy habits—like meal prepping and working out—are what grounded him.
You have to take the initiative to be successful because, again, the world is not set up for your success.
You don’t have to live behind your problems or labels—like being a “binge eater.”
You can understand and navigate around those issues and empower yourself to make better choices.
It’s not easy to show up for yourself every day and you may have to be uncomfortable for a period of time.
You may need to quantify your food, intensify your training, or focus on getting more sleep, but eventually, you can layer those lifestyle things back in and find the balance you’re looking for.
You have to get back to the basics: follow a fitness routine, eat mostly real food, and be consistent so that when you see your results, you don’t want to go back to your old lifestyle—you get so excited about how you look and feel that you never want to stop.
It’s important to keep in mind that you don’t need validation from external sources—coaches, fitness trackers, etc. If what you’re doing is creating a positive outcome—and you feel good—continue and learn how/when to intensify and back off when life circumstances dictate it.
Resistance and Suffering:
Aram and Jared both believe that you wouldn’t be the person you are without your specific life experiences. The suffering you’ve gone through and the resistance contribute to who you are.
Aram is glad he has gone through drug addiction, shitty relationships, and being broke, and he’s glad his life has been hard because, without those things, he wouldn’t be the person he is today.
It’s important to remember that many of us do live blessed lives, and for those of us in the States, we’re very fortunate to live in a country with so much opportunity. That’s not said to discount anyone’s suffering, but if you spend multiple hours on your phone scrolling through social media, you likely have the time to create the life you truly want.
Some people want it to be easy, but resistance is necessary for change. There are ways to juggle your goals, responsibilities, and factors outside of your control.
Aram says to get creative. If you can’t make it to the gym, for example, there are plenty of ways you can exercise at home. You might not get the best physique in the world, but it's far better than nothing.
Being Solutions Oriented:
Aram uses himself as an example of developing awareness. He was in the habit of getting bored at night, smoking, getting the munchies, and ordering Grub Hub. He had already met his calorie allotment for the day and he wasn’t actually hungry—he was just bored.
That boredom, when combined with smoking, led to him overeating—so he cut out smoking and thus cut out overeating.
Oftentimes, people believe they have cravings at night, but the reality is that they are just bored.
Jared always likes to ask a person who doesn’t know whether or not they are actually hungry if they would eat a salad with grilled chicken. If the answer is no, then you’re bored/emotional, not hungry.
Aram goes on to say that one of the most powerful levels of self-awareness you'll ever come to is when you realize that it's not that you're hungry, it's just that you want something to deviate away from your norm.
There are a lot of things you can do to self-regulate. An example Aram uses for himself is instead of eating ice cream, makes a bowl with berries, chocolate hummus, and some sugar-free whipped cream. This allows him to satisfy his craving for something sweet while staying within his calorie allotment, getting some extra micronutrients, and feeling good.
You have to be solutions-oriented.
Mental health is at an all-time low and obesity is at an all-time high because there is a pervasive, fundamental lack of desire to move forward in today’s society. People are not looking for solutions.
Aram and Jared both find that many times the best clients are the ones that have it the toughest. However, you don’t have to wait until times are tough—or you hit rock bottom—to start.
You can find solutions and take a proactive approach now.
If you’ve been overweight for a long time, you have to backtrack and realize the circumstances and decisions that led to that. You can’t think about what life used to be like and the body you used to have, you need to do the best you can now, and then when life allows for it, you can do more.
Jared stresses the importance of thinking about what you can do now, factoring in what your life is like now—not in the future, not in the past.
Aram goes on to say that everyone wants tactics, but the tactics are just doing the basics every day and getting good at it.
Make more food than you order, carve out time for the gym a few times a week—rinse, repeat.
Perspective:
There is a large culture these days that will call tracking and weighing your food disordered. However, both Jared and Aram believe it’s a matter of perspective.
When you’re getting into financial management and planning, you track your money—if you're baking, you measure out your ingredients.
The process of losing fat is slow and you have to go back to awareness and being solutions-oriented. The little things here and there, the snacks, the tastes, and the drinks, all add up and contribute to your caloric intake.
Diets work, but it's unreasonable to think that you can lose it all in one diet cycle—or that you can be on a very low-calorie diet long-term and stay compliant.
Being Scared of Maintenance:
To those scared of going into maintenance, Aram questions why you would be scared of something that’s comfortable.
Maintenance is a massive opportunity for progress. You can build muscle, have good digestion, a good mood, and good energy, and you’ll probably make better decisions.
You should leverage maintenance as long as you can.
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