What You Can Accomplish When You Invest In Yourself | Dieting from the Inside Out Ep.240
In today's episode, we're talking to my Director of Coaching, Grant, and his client, Tess.
I know a lot of people think, "Jared, you're in the fitness space, so you don't get it," and I understand where you're coming from with that sentiment—which is why I like to do these episodes so you guys can hear from someone who is or has gone through the same things you guys are going through, and you can see that there is a way out for you.
Tess has been able to make insane progress both internally and externally. She's fixed her relationship with food, lost weight, and gotten happier. Tess has 180'd her life in ways she didn't even think was possible.
If you're feeling like your life is not conducive to your goals, then this will be a great episode for you.
(00:00) – Introduction
(00:34) – Our sponsors
(03:29) – About today's episode
(06:03) – Tess's Story
(23:37) – Transformation
(38:28) – Investing in yourself
(48:19) – What made Tess successful?
(59:50) – Closing thoughts
(01:02:02) – Jared's outro and how to sign up for coaching
Transcript (click to open)
EP#240: What You Can Accomplish When You Invest In Yourself (ft. Tess & Coach Grant)
0:00:11.8 Jared: And we are back. What's up team? I hope you are well, welcome back to a brand new episode of Dieting from the Inside Out. If you are new around these parts, my name is Jared Hamilton, I'm your host of the show, and if you're a returning listener, I really appreciate you as well, so thank you so much for coming back, and today is a really cool episode, I'm so excited to get into it, but let's be honest, I'm excited for all the new shows and the guests and things like that. Now, before we get into all of the nuts and bolts and the deep stuff of today's episode, I do want to have a massive thank you to the sponsors of the show. Sponsor number one is FlexPro Meals. If you guys are not utilizing them and your life happens to be crazy as fuck, then it may be very beneficial for you to do so. So here's the thing with me, it's one of those things, my life is so predicated off convenience, it's unreal. My days are unpredictable, they're all over the place, and it's just... Convenience is the biggest thing for me.
0:01:04.3 Jared: I know so many people live in that space where if it's not convenient, you're not gonna do it, or so many other areas are predicated on convenience, whereas that's the biggest bottleneck for a lot of people with their nutrition, is a lot of times it's just not convenient, like someone, let's say you don't make enough food or you don't prep enough food, or you live in drive-throughs 'cause you're all over the place, but then that's expensive and it's not as convenient anymore with lines and things like that, and then it's really hard to be in line with your goals when you're in drive-through so much or you're always grabbing go foods, but FlexPro really solves this problem because it not only saves you money, and it's cheaper than a drive-through, but it also... These meals are so in line with your goals, they call themselves like the Amazon Prime of meal delivery services, and they're amazing, like we hear meal prep companies and it's like boring as chicken rice and broccoli, but I honestly God don't know how they make their food taste so good with the calories and macros being so on point. So if that's something that you think would help you a lot, I know it helps me a lot, then definitely go check out their website, the link is below, or you can just go to flexpromeals.com.
0:02:04.7 Jared: And you could save money, if you wanna use my code, HamiltonTrained, then it's gonna save you another 20% at checkout, so that way it's definitely cheaper than the drive-through. So I'll leave that there. But then the other sponsor of the show is 1st Phorm, you guys know that supplements are not everything, but they always have a time and their place with most people and their goals, whether it be something like protein powder because you can't get your numbers up without going over on calories or something like you don't eat enough fish or Omegas, so having a fish oil supplement or something like, let's say, pre-workout because you work out really early in the morning, whatever the case is, but the thing is, I wanna make sure that your money is going where it should go with things, especially like supplements, a lot of you guys are ordering stuff that either isn't safe or isn't up to par with quality because the supplement industry is extremely unregulated, you're buying something that was made in some guy's basement 'cause you got a good deal on Amazon.
0:02:57.4 Jared: That's the problem, is I wanna make sure that you're... For those of you that are gonna spend money on supplements, you wanna spend it where it's something that's actually gonna benefit you and help you, and that's not just some bullshit that someone threw in a bottle because it makes margins better. So that's why I always recommend 1st Phorm, I take their stuff, I love it, it's what we send clients too, and it's the best stuff ever. So I do wanna save you money there as well, if I can. So in the description is a free shipping link, so just click on it, and it'll auto-populate in the cart, free out shipping for you, but otherwise that's it for the sponsor section of the show, now, let's get into the nuts and bolts, because this is gonna be really good.
0:03:33.3 Jared: In today's episode, I actually... It's a three-way podcast. I was interviewing my director of Coaching Grant, but then his client Tess, because it's a really cool story because, my thing is this, I don't wanna just come on here and tell you here's all the shit you can do, because there's a level of people, if we're being honest, and they're like Jared, "But you don't get it, you're a fitness person or you're not in those trenches yourself so how can you know?"
0:03:57.6 Jared: So respect, I get it. So one of my favorite favorite things to do with the podcast is get people that are in the trenches, to get people who have gone through more shit and have a situation that's really not so convenient or conducive, so that way you can see, "Oh my gosh, there's a way out for me." "Oh my gosh, if they can do it, I can do it." "Oh shit, their situation is so much worse than mine and I can relate to that. I think that's gonna help me a lot." So that's what I wanted to do, so that's why half the guests I get on here are either amazing guests who have gone through that shit themselves, or clients who have gone through hell and back and now they're thriving on another level. So that's what we're doing today, because I'll let Grant and Tess get into all the deep, deep stuff there, when I have them on here in a minute, but the biggest thing with Tess, is she has been able to make such insane progress, both externally with her weight loss, but also internally with her identity, and her headspace and her happiness, her relationship with food, all of that, but in some of the most inconvenient situations ever, as in, her and her family run a food truck, and she will literally spend like 12 hours at a time in front of a fryer or all day, and all she can eat and snack on is either snacks that she's brought to work or the brisket that she's preparing or whatever the case is.
0:05:10.8 Jared: But she has a really, really cool story in how she's been able to literally 180 her entire life internally and externally and habitually in all these different levels in ways that she didn't even think was possible because of the things that we're teaching, and she's got some crazy little golden nuggets that she's experienced, and then we just get into the whole thing, but especially if you're sitting there and you're like, "I don't know how my situation is so not conducive for the goals that I have," I think this episode will really help you a lot because it's one of those things where there is not a single situation you can be put in where you cannot deploy actions against to get on the other side and to make progress, and to be happy, and that's exactly what Tess did, and it's kinda like thriving regardless of what's going on, and we were able to make that work and she was able to crush. So I know you're gonna get a lot out of this episode, so stick around for the whole thing, otherwise I'll talk to you in just a second.
0:06:04.6 Jared: Well, I hope you guys are doing well. I appreciate you both coming on here and doing this, I know it's kind of weird and awkward, but like I said, I really appreciate you guys being so willing to come on and talk about all your personal shit going on with you and all that stuff, so...
0:06:18.3 Tess: Thanks seriously for having me, it's super cool.
0:06:20.6 Jared: I love it, I love it. Well, to give everyone an idea, 'cause Tess, you've had some pretty fucking big wins, like 180-ed everything with the way things have gone, right?
0:06:34.0 Tess: Yeah, completely unexpectedly. Yes, very much so.
0:06:37.9 Jared: I love it, which is the entire point. But I would love to hear from you a little bit about where you were before coaching and before everything happened, because my thing is this, too often, with people in Grant and my shoes, we're a coach, right? So when we tell someone what can happen, it's like, "Well, you're just a douchebag meathead, you don't understand. You can't relate." That kind of thing where it's like, when my mom tells me, "I look nice," it's like, "Well, mom, I could have a potato growing out in my head and you would say the same thing 'cause you're my mom." But it hits different. It helps more people when it actually comes from you, and it's like, "Oh, I can relate to that." So I'd love for you to just get into your story a little bit before all this happened.
0:07:20.9 Tess: Sure. Yeah, very honestly, I have always had a weight ebb and flow kind of situation. I work professionally in kitchens, so there's a lot of constantly eating stuff, constantly tasting stuff, probably interested in more than I should be in a lot of that, and a lot of stress involved, and long hours. And I found myself a couple of years ago in a pretty serious burnout situation, and unbelievably a year of, "I'm gonna start working out. I swear," 'cause I absolutely gained the most weight of my entire life, 50 pounds more than I have ever been, and it was just in a place and really felt stuck in that I couldn't go anywhere. And actually, a year ago, this week, in fact, I finally said, "Screw it. I'm over it. I am ready to start fucking doing something about this," and I kinda sorta did. I had lost weight about five years ago, so unhealthily. It was three months before my wedding. I did the whole 1200 calories and probably less than that. I was working out too much. I was completely stressed out the entire time, completely eliminating all foods and things that made me happy.
0:08:40.4 Tess: Yeah, I got to wear the pretty dress the one day, and then two months later, 30 pounds was back on me, because I was like, "Oh, I can eat a cheeseburger again," and so I did it completely ass backwards. So what had happened was I banked that in my brain that, "Oh, you can just lose it again really quick. You did it once before, you can do this. It's just an agonizing couple of months, whatever the hell." But I'm just too fucking old for that shit now. Sure, I was like 30 at that moment, but now I'm like, body doesn't exactly react the same way it used to. And so about a year ago, in October of last year, I was like, "I'm gonna do this." I was going to the gym, which meant, honestly, walking on the treadmill a little bit, thinking I had to do crazy cardio, putting a lot of stress on myself and trying to set these limitations that were just completely unreal, like, "I'm gonna do arms this day, and then we're gonna go take a walk, and then we're gonna go take a walk outside at the end of the day, and then I'm gonna sit here and read this book." It's like, I just wound up putting so much pressure on myself that it just wasn't going anywhere.
0:09:47.4 Tess: I was stagnating, I lost maybe 4 pounds in four months, which is really not a loss in any sort of way, but I knew that in order to actually make things happen and make things change, I needed to fucking step up. And I found you on TikTok and you were starting in January, you were starting a Momentum Challenge. And I was like, "You know what, fuck it, let's go. Let's try this." At the time, I was not working for a couple of weeks and I was like, "I have all the time in the world. There's no excuses left anymore." And doing that, the three Ms and everything, and finding how easy it was for me to just stick to three things and to follow through on three small things, which wound up being maybe 30 minutes of my entire day, all together, maybe an hour, if I took a long walk or something like that. But I started to realize that like, "Oh my God, I've been putting so much pressure on myself and trying to add so many things that I was just doing this and just spinning around in circles without actually accomplishing anything."
0:10:54.4 Tess: And I realize that I need guidance and I need a little bit of accountability, also, being able to check in with something is something that is a motivator for me, and I wanna be a good student, and do the things that I wanna do and push myself for the first time, and I think it was absolutely that Momentum Challenge. I felt like I crushed it and I wasn't going crazy. I wasn't spinning out of control. I wasn't upset at myself. And the Facebook group that you had, there was so much support from everybody that I was like, "What am I doing? I'm spending money in all these places I don't need to be spending money." And I had a conversation with TL at the time, and I remember just blurting out at one point like, "You know what, fuck it. It's about time I spend money on my fucking self."
0:11:51.3 Jared: Let's go.
0:11:51.4 Tess: I'll go spend that much money on booze or something stupid throughout the year, but why not actually start taking steps, small steps that I know I can stick to and just work from there? And that's how I fell into all of this, very honestly, and it's been fucking dope as hell, very honestly. It's been working out very, very well.
0:12:16.0 Jared: So for you, this was mostly logically driven, right? So for you, it was very logical?
0:12:22.4 Tess: Yeah, I'd say so. For me, it's kind of funny. I know Grant and I haven't exactly had to go into emotional eating and stuff like that. It's very different. I have the opposite emotional experience with food because I love food. It's my career that I love it too much, and I respect, I'm like, "Oh, but a farmer grew this, I can't just throw it in the trash... I can't just throw it in the trash." That I'm like, "I must consume everything, and experience," and it's a good thing, but also I maybe taking it a little bit too far sometimes, so it's kind of like an opposite spectrum of that, and so, trying to reel it back and be, again, a little bit more logical like "Hey, you're not hungry, you don't actually need to eat that whole fillet of salmon that we're testing out for a new special on the menu." So, no, it's super weird. [laughter]
0:13:22.0 Jared: No, no, no, I totally get it.
0:13:22.9 Tess: It's just a very different... It's such a very different mentally thing that, yeah, I would absolutely say that it was more logic-driven, like this is not working, and what are the puzzle pieces to make this locomotive move forward kinda thing.
0:13:41.6 Jared: Sure. I don't think we actually said it, so remind everyone what you do again for a living, you're a chef?
0:13:49.0 Tess: Yeah. Well, I was at one point a chef at a restaurant back when I lived in Nashville. I'm currently in Nebraska right now, I say currently, 'cause I move all over the place. But my family owns a food truck, and so I'm helping with the food truck there, which as of this week, the Summer is over. But it's been a great summer, but helping my family build the business, and then on off time, I am also working in a restaurant as well. So I'm constantly in the restaurant environment, crazy, hectic, weird schedules, when everyone's off, I'm working, that type of stuff.
0:14:27.7 Grant: Well, and one of the craziest things to me too is outside of Jared, you were probably also one of the busiest people I have ever met especially when it comes to food truck season, and one of the things that you have just done such a good job of throughout this whole time, because... And you'll have to tell people just how crazy food truck season actually is, and again, it really just speaks wonders how much progress you've been able to make literally throughout this entire thing, and I think last week marked what? Yeah, I think you're 25-26 pounds down and that's throughout truck season and all that.
0:15:03.0 Tess: Oh my God, yeah, yeah, absolutely, you're right. I can't even believe it, very honestly.
0:15:09.8 Jared: Well, and here's why I bring that up, here's why I wanted to bring up what you do for a living, because a lot of people who listen to this don't have a situation as food-focused as that ever... Most people struggle with food, their relationship with food, overindulgence, the whole nine yards, but they're talking about like in their pantry or their kids' nuggets and mac and cheese, not eat, sleep and breathe in the food industry, cooking food, preparing food, you have all this food after 'cause you didn't sell it also, guess who it can go home with? That kind of thing where... And the fact that you've been able to make the progress you have in not just a really hard situation, if you have issues around food and self-control around food, on top of being as busy as me, and as Grant so eloquently put it. You know what I mean?
0:16:02.6 Tess: Yeah, it really is interesting, especially when you bring that up. I didn't really think about it at the time, it's like, the food issues I wound up dealing with were on top of not being home for days, literal days at a time, it's a barbecue truck, so barbecue doesn't just happen in one day, it's sleeping overnight, it's checking the coals every hour, losing sleep. It's constantly smelling like smoked pork and the smoked brisket.
0:16:29.9 Grant: Hot.
0:16:30.0 Tess: And having to taste it at 6 o'clock in the morning to make sure that it's good to go and heartburn ensues and all this stuff that, it's my job to make sure that everything is good, but also to take care of myself, and I found myself in situations where, yeah, I'm surrounded by food all the time, it's the same type of food, but till, how many times was I like, "Whoo, I went to Subway this week." And Grant's like, "Why are you eating at Subway? What is wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I need vegetables, because we don't carry those on the food truck," and there are times where I spend entire days, upwards of 12 hours in one spot, busy, no time to eat, and so teaching myself and learning throughout the summer, through ups and downs, through really hard days, through really good days of bringing a smoothie. I'll prep the smoothie, pop it in my freezer overnight, and then it can kinda slowly melt in the fridge throughout the day and it's ready to drink at the end of the shift, or making little burritos and I can pop it in the oven while we reheat stuff for the event or whatever it may be, and it really forced me to learn how to completely adjust and make things work for me because I think that's one of the things that I've been trying to follow, workout programs or eating programs of people who maybe work a 9:00 to 5:00 and they are only working eight hours a day, not 12:00 to 21:00, which is frequent, that happens to me.
0:18:07.6 Jared: Right.
0:18:08.4 Tess: So, it's really been a learning curve the entire time, and it's forced me to expand my knowledge not only as a cook in how to prep things, but also how to make things work for me. My check-ins are not on Sundays, because that's my one day off or not day off that we learn throughout the summer like, "Hey, Sundays are really not working, why don't we do a Monday or a Tuesday thing," and learning that just these small, incremental changes to make things work for you is the only sustainable way to do anything. I literally... Why am I gonna cut out beer when I want beer at least once a week? I need to make that work for me, and if I can't find a way to evolve with this and keep things evolving with me, then I'm just gonna be stuck forever, and I'm sick of being stuck. I'm over it.
0:19:11.0 Grant: Well, and one thing that you've also got a really good job of doing is... And I think that this just speaks wonders, 'cause I was thinking back before this, at the start of food truck season up until now, and one of the things that you've just done an awesome job of doing is being able to look at a situation, because if you remember at the start of all that, right, you would say like, "Holy shit, I'm so stressed. Holy shit. This did not go as planned. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this." And the awesome thing with that is, is you never beat yourself up, we treated everything as a learning experience, we're faced with many problems and then it's just working through it, figuring out, hey, what is the solution that we can put in place that is specific to you that will work for you? And you've just done such a good job with that. Being able to be adaptable, being able to kind of be able to take a third party step back, look at the situation and say, "Okay, you know what? I see that this worked for me, this didn't work for me, so let's try this, this and this," and you've just done an awesome job throughout all that, and I don't know if you remember, for example your stress at the start and then just doing a couple of things and then you're stressed now, you're just able to handle so much more, you're able to just accomplish such great things.
0:20:16.5 Tess: I was just like a peach cobbler or hot fucking mess everyday.
0:20:20.2 Jared: Good question to use that as an analogy.
0:20:22.5 Tess: Hot sticky mess, man.
0:20:24.5 Tess: For real, just freaking out and trying to control so much that I couldn't control, and it took me a minute to just realize that I'm never gonna be fully in fucking control of anything, and I've got to learn to ebb and flow, because my schedule can go from literally nothing for five days to not being home for five days and not being able to step on a scale, not be able to fully control the protein I take in and whatever. And I've honestly, I feel like those stressors have really helped forced me to find solutions with Grant and calm the fuck down too. That's the big thing, it's so many times I would even... Every now and then being like I know I made it to the gym somehow, and I somehow hit my calorie goals and for some reason the scale's going down but I didn't log a Snickers bar and Grant's like, "Oh my God, calm down.
0:21:27.4 Tess: Everything is fine. You are doing just fine." And honestly, I needed to hear that. And it's become something that I can hear his voice now, and I can hear him saying, "Calm down. Everything is okay." And I'm starting to believe that and trust that and fully give into it, that I'm like... I feel like I'm a completely different person than... Let's see, we've been doing this nine months now, and I mean, three months in, I was like, "Holy cow, I'm a new person." And six months later, we're like, "What is happening? Who are you?" And now I'm like, "Who's the girl in the mirror? Who's the person I'm talking to?" It's crazy.
0:22:11.5 Jared: Just to be clear, I wanna... Just a timeline, so that's nine months? I'm curious.
0:22:13.6 Tess: Yes.
0:22:14.3 Jared: Remind me, how long was the struggle up until you started?
0:22:20.4 Tess: 2019, very honestly.
0:22:27.1 Jared: So a multiple year-long struggle?
0:22:29.1 Tess: Yeah. Yeah. Year's long, to where I was I can't dedicate myself, what's the worth? I'm too tired and finding excuses after excuse, and a lot of that was a little bit valid, that I realize in retrospect. But it was all... And here we go, it's that knowing doing things that we've talked about very often is I find myself to be this person that just banks information, right? I'll just bank it, bank it, bank it. Write it in my notes, set it aside, when I need it, I need it, but I never actually go grab it, I never actually reference back to it, and at least I became wise enough to know that listen, I'm not following through. And so I need to start holding myself accountable for following through and start making it like an actual way of life, and trying, this is all very much a work in progress and everything, but I feel like some of those mental changes were really, really, really instrumental in a lot of this.
0:23:36.5 Jared: See that's where I think people... I'm fully convinced, the transformation progress is fast, it's just not as fast as what everyone wants. If we can end multiple years long and you said three months in you're a different person, six months in, the next evolution, nine months in, it's like who the fuck is this lady?
0:23:57.5 Jared: We're like that's fast for three, four years or decades for some other people to within a few months, that's fast. It's just not Amazon Prime fast in like two days. You know what I mean?
0:24:07.6 Tess: Right.
0:24:08.0 Jared: So I wanna ask this to both of you. So Tess, you can go first. For you, where was the biggest shift at? So when it shifted for you, where you're like, "Oh fuck, this is what I'm talking about," where your life really was getting better physically, mentally, emotionally, the whole nine yards, where was that shift? And then Grant, I want you to answer the same thing.
0:24:30.1 Tess: It's so funny 'cause I literally actually feel like it was a tangible moment and then grew to another one, so it was probably about three-ish months into this and I was doing really well, and that was the first time, Grant, you brought up like, "Maybe we should do a podcast," and then it was like boom, I'm not here for three months. So I started to write some stuff down and I'm so glad I did because I went back looking through some of those things that I've been writing down throughout the months, and I'm like oh my God, I didn't even realize these moments but they happened, so it was probably right before, probably about three months in, the scale was just dropping every single week, no moving the calories, no anything, a couple over just here and there, absolutely just like clockwork, continuously going down unbeknownst to me, I was just trying to follow protein, calories, get into the gym, that's it. I just focused on those three things, and all of a sudden I started being like, "You know what?" I think there was one day that I went a little over calories and I got on the scale the next day, and it was four or five pounds more, and I just looked at the scale and I was like, "Fuck you, dude." Do you know how hard I've been working? You're a dick. I'm sorry, but you are not paying attention to what's actually happening here," and at that point, it started to lose its power over me.
0:25:52.7 Jared: Hell, fucking yeah.
0:25:54.2 Tess: And I saw that, at that moment that I was like, "Yeah, fuck you, fuck you too. Fuck you seven instead of a two, alright." I just got over it. I got frustrated with it and I was like... It's so funny, I think at that time, TL had called me back for like a, "How are things going? You just started coaching," or whatever, and I was like you know what? It's super weird because I started to not give a shit about the scale and the scale me not and I was like I don't believe you, 'cause you're not everything. All of a sudden, that weight just boom, boom, just dropping, dropping. And I'm like, "Wait a minute," it was like this mental click, and I swear to God, it just started shedding after that. And then what's funny is we came to a real test of my skill this summer, I think I was a month and a half where either I broke my scale because I was trying to transport it back and forth from the food truck, so it was spending time in a 108-degree car and all this stuff and I was like... It's bouncing. I would have to jump on it five times and then maybe take the best of five, and yeah, I wanted real metrics, but there was nothing I could do at the time.
0:27:05.1 Grant: Get a new scale, please.
0:27:06.4 Tess: And yeah, which I did, I did. I was like, "Damn, but I think I need a new scale," but it was such a crazy time, and it was something where it was like that scale wound up being less important to me because I was like, "Dude, Grant, I'm fitting in these pants I couldn't fit into last summer. Oh my God, that's cool." And so I started to really focus on how I actually felt everyday, feeling that I had more energy, knowing that... Sorry when they listen, but my husband and my brother-in-law need my help to lift the fucking five-gallon bucket of barbecue sauce because they can't do it. And it's like all this...
0:27:42.2 Grant: Is that the same one that you were doing squats with?
0:27:43.4 Tess: Yes. That was full that day too, that was very, very heavy. I mean, I don't know, five gallons of molasses is heavy, super heavy, but yeah, I would find ways to do workouts on the food truck like that. But I was really tested to where I was like you know what? We just had no idea what was happening on the scale, and it was like I'll get there some day. I'll get a new one, we'll get this figured out, but screw the scale right now, and we did, we rocked that for a month and a half. And then it was... All of a sudden it was boom, you're seven pounds heavier than what you were last weighing in at, and we're just like, "Uh, we expected it," and really just threw the bird at the scale, and I kinda feel that every now and then, but I feel like that was legitimately a switch, and it's cool that that fucker doesn't have that much power on me anymore, it's very nice. [chuckle]
0:28:39.0 Jared: It's because though it was the balance of using it. Most people who are like, "I don't want you to have control," they put it under the bed where as it still does, otherwise you could weigh yourself, you know what I mean? So the fact that you did the work of like, "I don't wanna step on it, but I have to work through this," 'cause avoidance never made anything better. Now Grant, what's your opinion on that? For you, what... Now, it may be the same... And/or it may be the same situation, but for you, where did you... From the coach's perspective, start seeing the moment pivot for her?
0:29:09.2 Grant: Yeah, I think... And you'll... I'll be curious to hear your thoughts on this as well. So for me, it was whenever you start... 'Cause at the start, it's like, "Well, can I really eat this high in calories and can I really only go to the gym three times, and can I really only do this?" And I think for me, when it really started to shift is... And this is just like this for some people, it's once you actually get that solid data, I think that that helps just solidify the confidence in what you do, right.
0:29:36.1 Grant: It's like, "Oh shit, okay, so this does work. I can eat this much, I can be a normal person, I can have alcohol, I can go over on calories, I can be a normal person and I can still make progress." And I think that once that confidence caught up to that, where it was like, "Oh shit, I really can be a normal human, I really can do all this," and then at least from my perspective, it was like after that pivotal moment, it was like the rest of it was just like, "Yeah, I'm kicking ass in the gym, and yeah, I'm doing this," and it's just... You had that confidence going forward, and I think that that's really when it started to pivot, it's once you actually had that confidence in what you were doing and you trusted in it, you believed in it, and then again, that was that pivotal moment at least from my perspective, it's once you finally had that confidence in what you were doing, that it was working, that it was benefiting you and all of that.
0:30:25.6 Tess: That's true, and it's funny, I remember once I started, kind of think it was funny, I don't see it from that perspective, but that's super cool. Once we started having those moments, I'll be like, "Crap, I went over three days," I'm like, "Yeah, but I benched 20 pounds more this week."
0:30:41.3 Grant: Right.
0:30:41.6 Tess: And that's what I would focus on, I'm like, "Oh my God, my body had energy to do these other cool things that I also want to achieve," even though it's not...
0:30:52.3 Grant: Yeah. Well, and something else too, it's like from a coach's perspective, it's also interesting too, because now you'll send me some things where it's like, "Hey, scale's probably gonna be up because of this, this and this," there's no emotional drive to it or anything like that.
0:31:07.0 Jared: One thing I noticed that I think has changed, it makes a huge difference for you, Tess that this thing that I'm just been picking up from sitting back here watching everything, is one of the reasons I think you've been so successful with this is you are always tying these wins and not letting go of them. Do you think you would be feeling so on top of the world if you weren't... If you didn't have all these wins like, "Well, but my pants are down, I'm up 20 pounds, I'm up... " whatever, do you feel like you would still be feeling so good if you didn't have those wins to hold on to?
0:31:42.5 Tess: Absolutely not, absolutely not. And very honestly, I feel like I have totally transitioned, the way I'm thinking about this is like cool. In the beginning, I was like, "Okay, a little win, a little win, a little win, okay, cool, what? I read my book for 15 minutes. What the fuck?" And then I'm like, "Wait a minute, no, but I sat, I focused. I did something I said that I was going to do," and it really just started to bring out more and more wins that I have found myself 100% focusing on these little wins. I've actually started adding... The last part of my check-in says, "What other things are you struggling with?" And I almost send it in a joke to Grant this week being like, "I feel like I should just change this to what do you feel like you're winning right now?" 'Cause I'll try to fill that section with like hey, dude, my mom said that... My mom said that, "Oh my God, your pants didn't fit last year," and my sister is like, "You bitch, you lost inches." And that's a compliment from my sister.
0:32:43.6 Tess: Like really, really trying to put my focus on that, and what has happened because of that is I've also flipped the switch to where like I don't care about a finish line and I don't see it as a finish line anymore. I see it now as like the process, and I see it more as like this really cool new life that I get to live currently, being happy and being more confident and knowing that I can deadlift 120 right now, and I'm super stoked on that, and keeping all these little things that I am... It's so so very different. I feel like I'm getting back to a good mental state, a good physical state. I'm actually enjoying every day. I'm enjoying waking up in the morning and being like, "Is that my hip bone?"
0:33:38.4 Tess: For the first time in in five years, I'm like, "What's up, girl?"
0:33:40.1 Tess: I'm really trying to just totally sink myself into that because it is fucking cool, and I'm so enjoying the ride that, like, granted do I not want this coaching to end because I'm loving it so very much, and I'm fearful of that, but also... Like, fearful as in like I'm gonna miss it, not like... I don't further feel like I'm just gonna fall off a cliff. But I mean, it's become a journey and a process that I'm thoroughly fucking enjoying every step and like in buying a new pair of pants. I'm liking that these shoes feel big on me all of a sudden. I just... I can't help but just be thankful for all those little things and just focus on that.
0:34:33.3 Grant: Well, See, and I always look forward to Tess's check-ins because you exude positivity. You have an awesome way of always trying to look for the positives, you... Again, that's not to say that everything is always rainbows and sunshine. Of course not. But again, you've got such a good way of always looking for the positives. It's like, hey, you know, going back to doing Goblet squats with the 40-pound thing of barbecue sauce. Again, most people would look at that and they would be in an awful situation. You're in 100 degree heat next to a stove for 12 hours a day, but again, you look for the positives, you had fun with it, you were doing squats with a thing of barbecue sauce, and so again, that's one thing that's always fun for me, looking forward to your check-ins is just how many wins you have, how often you're seeing change, all of these awesome things.
0:35:22.4 Tess: It's like one of the things I feel... Every... Like, again, the journey. I know I sound like a whack, but I very honestly... All these little things that are like... I like to think of them as little challenges, and how am I gonna kick your ass? How am I gonna take what's in front of me, and I'm not always that good about it, but it's like this mantra that I had for so long, lost for a few years during the years that shall not be named, that we have already talked about, but very honestly, if something scares me, I must force myself to do it because... Or else it's gonna scare me for ever, and then I'm not gonna enjoy anything involving that unless I start dipping my toes into it and just grabbing on and being like, "Fuck it, let's ride. Where are you gonna take me?" I don't know. It might be crap, but I'll take that lesson for the next time or something like that. Or try to do really that.
0:36:22.7 Jared: It's interesting you bring that up because I've been kind of on this kick lately. I was leaving the gym yesterday... I just told this on the last podcast I was on too. You know we all have in the gym thoughts or in the shower thoughts or in like whatever you're doing thoughts, and it just hit me training yesterday that it's impossible to get the thing we want without resistance. One of my favorite books by Steven Pressfield is called The War of Art, and the whole concept is, resistance is required, to kind of sound corny, but if you think about it, to have patience, you have to be inpatient, to have discipline and grit, you have to have a situation you don't wanna be in that's not very fun or convenient, to get muscles to be stronger, you have to lift things that are heavy, to be confident, you have to have periods of lack of confidence, to gain balance, you have to have periods of unbalance, where it doesn't matter what you're going through for a sailor to be really skilled, he has to go through shitty waters.
0:37:19.3 Jared: In no world do we get the thing we want without its form of resistance, and that that form of resistance is the gateway, the key to getting the life and the outcomes that you desire. We can't get over the fear of heights without being scared of being on things that are tall. It's the same thing.
0:37:37.0 Tess: Absolutely. I totally believe that. And one thing I would love to add to that too, is that like... And then, guess what? It's over.
0:37:46.2 Jared: Yeah.
0:37:47.0 Tess: You made it through. Like my husband has this saying about working in kitchens, working in restaurants, and it's so true, like service... There are two truths. Service will always begin whether you fucking want it to or not, or whether you're ready or not, but service will also end. It will always... You can throw yourself out there and do the best you can, just put yourself through it, but guess what, it ends. And then if you went about it the right way, you get to learn and grow and move on from that. If not, take a beating again and see if we learn something the next time. It's not fun, it's not pretty, but it ends at some point.
0:38:27.1 Jared: No, for sure. I'm curious though. One of the questions I like to ask people who are in the shoes you're in right now, who have overcome so much, you've 180-ed everything, you're crushing it, one of the questions I like to ask is that most people are hesitant, especially inside coaching, to invest money in themselves. So I wanna know for you, because that it basically highlights... It hurts to lose money, right? It's like the old saying, "People who pay, pay attention." But I wanna know for you, was there a hesitation with investing in yourself? And what made you overcome that and actually decide to go all-in, like truly all-in?
0:39:02.7 Tess: I mean, oh God... I mean, thinking back on that initial phone call after doing the momentum challenge in January, nine months ago, it was absolutely like... I'm not gonna lie, when I got the phone call, I was like, "Oh, this is a pitch to get on coaching... Gotta love it." Didn't see that coming. Should have seen that coming. But I was like, "Yeah, yeah... "
0:39:23.1 Jared: I straight up said it. Are you kidding? I said it. [laughter]
0:39:27.5 Tess: Selective hearing, I don't know. [laughter] But it's so funny, but I was like, I didn't care. I was like, "You know what, let's see what happens." I've always tried to be an opportunist as much as I can. If something falls in, it's just like, "You know what? What can be worse?" Yeah, I am someone who is paying student debt for the rest of my life. I am someone who ebbs and flows being monetarily comfortable, and I have been completely uncomfortable financially, and I have been in very bad spots with that before, and yeah, that does... It makes me think of it. But here's the thing, it's like that same amount of money, I probably would have spent on buying too much booze, or honestly, that's where that would have gone. When I don't need that excess of something over an entire year or something, I'm just being honest, I probably would have spent it on booze. And booze and self-loathing and just drinking away everything instead of tackling my problems, and it really was like when I said...
0:40:39.6 Tess: I was like, "It's time for me to invest in my fucking self. It's like I get one meat suit, I get one body, and I'm sick of not feeling like myself in it, I'm sick of feeling like garbage every day, and you know what, there's a payment plan and it's completely reasonable, completely reasonable. And this is not like whatever is working through HamiltonTrained, is like it's not trying to screw you out of anything, it really is not, and it's very manageable, and it is... I mean...
0:41:15.0 Jared: I did not tell her to say that, everybody. I did not tell her to say that. I had no idea she was gonna say that.
0:41:18.5 Tess: But when you break it down month to month, I'm like, yeah, that would be me going out and spending till the bar closes after work. That's what I would be doing and I'm like, you know what, why do we reel that the fuck in and start actually making a purpose? Like my dad always told me, you only get one face. Don't put bullshit on your face. Don't... You only get one body and one life. And there's things I wanna do. And I love hiking. And I was nowhere near hiking or anything like that any time soon. I want to just enjoy my life and nip this bitch in the bud before I'm like 50, and then it's so hard.
0:42:04.2 Jared: No, that's beautiful. And here's... The reason why I ask that is because if I tell someone that, it sounds like I'm being a pushy salesperson, even though I believe into my... I've invested over the past five years. I'm not... I could show you receipts. I've invested over $100,000 in the past five years into my own mentorships, in programs and coaching, so I'm the biggest consumer of it. But a lot of times when I say that to somebody, it's just like you're trying to take the money, so you're being a pushy salesman. But I'm like, "No, no, no, hear me when I say this, that your priorities are out of whack. Your priorities prior to this... " Like you said, you would have spent on alcohol and bullshit, but you said, "You know what, I only have one life, I only have one face and meat suit, I only have... I'm not living the life I'm supposed to live." And you look straight to the outcome. You didn't look at like, yeah, it hurts spending money because truthfully, let me ask you this, if you wouldn't have spent the money, would you have taken it as serious?
0:42:58.4 Tess: No, I can guarantee that.
0:43:00.4 Jared: Absolutely, right? This is why...
0:43:01.2 Tess: I can guarantee that.
0:43:02.4 Jared: Yeah, and this is why I'll call people out, this is why every motherfucker, most people who listen to the podcast and follow me on Instagram aren't doing the shit I teach because it's free. I'm calling all hundreds of thousands of people out, which is fine. But here's the other thing I think people forget too, when it comes to the money side of this, in investing in yourself, 'cause it's always scary, but this is... No one's life is... No one ever gets to the end of the year and that money is there. We unconsciously... In the same way people sabotage their results or their relationships, we sabotage our finances. We have this mental watermark where we've all gotten to like the last $10 in the bank account, but we never go homeless. It's like this thing that we always get back to that watermark of, roughly, this much in the savings or this much in the, whatever. And for the most people who don't invest into getting the health that they need, whether it be the coaching program, or whether it be therapy, or whether it be their health somewhere else, whatever it is, those people who don't, that money is never to be found at the end of the year. They spent it somewhere else. So you might as well spend it on what is actually gonna move the needle for you. That's just my prerogative, but it's not because I'm the one taking the money. I would say that to everyone with therapy, with your dog, with your marriage, with everything.
0:44:15.6 Tess: Yeah, and I honestly, I wanna say it was you and some podcast or a live call or something like that months ago, 'cause, yay, I'm gonna have time to come back and watch this, but... Yay. But it's saying something along the lines of like, you will make the money work for it, like you know what, if you want a six-pack of beer at the end of the week, guess what, you're gonna make that money appear for that six-pack of beer at the end of the week. So if you want this, you can easily make it work. This is like... This type of monetary commitment is less than car insurance in a month. It's not like a student loan payment. [chuckle] I'll tell you that much.
0:45:03.8 Jared: It's not like... Yeah, 100%.
0:45:06.1 Tess: And so it's like when you make it more digestible for yourself, like you said, to feel that you can actually do these things and you can achieve them, and if you just fucking jump in and try, again, it's a payment plan, like you have things and people... Money will work, but do you wanna work for yourself?
0:45:25.5 Jared: That's the difference. Because money is... Here's the thing, 'cause this is the whole point of this episode for those listening, is not to just sell you on coaching or anything like that. But if you look beneath this side of the conversation... If you look beneath what she just said is, it really came down to your commitment. We're not having a money conversation. We're having a you commitment conversation. Money just exposes that. Time just exposes that. Any investment, time investment, money investment, effort investment, it just exposes your commitment level. So I'm curious, Tess, from your perspective, where did that commitment change? Was it... Where did that shift? Did you have like a "Come to Jesus" moment or was it like, it slowly graduated? Like where did that commitment come from?
0:46:10.5 Tess: I think very honestly, I would say that it absolutely slowly graduated because it took years for me to get to that mental space. And I am a stubborn ass a lot of times. And if I'm sucking the like, "Well I really want this thing to happen for me, but no, I'm not gonna put forth money and time, that's mine, that's my money, that's my time." I can watch YouTube videos and go nowhere. I know that because it doesn't work for me. It works for a lot of people, but I'm not gonna do the research on watching videos to make a program for myself. I'm just... I know that I'm not gonna put in that time. And I think I started to realize that that was failing and that I could not actually control all this myself and that I did need help, and that I was just so sick of being stubborn. And I think I wanted more than anything to prove myself wrong, to prove that asshole version of myself that say "You can't fucking do it," and be like, "Bitch, watch. Let's go."
0:47:21.4 Tess: And I think it was like... It came from probably a moment of frustration, from stagnation and not being able to go anywhere or do anything, or not being able to find the steps to do so that I just got sick and tired of it. And I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and I was just like, "Fuck it, let's go." And I mean, for a stubborn person like me, sometimes it has to get to that point. And I understand it's not something you can force upon anybody. You can't make anyone feel motivated to finally take the leap. And I know that, and I know it took a really long time for me, but it almost was like... Yeah, it just happened. [chuckle] I honestly don't know... It was very long...
0:48:07.5 Jared: It sounds like it was the kind of like the old saying goes, when the pain of staying the same... I'm sorry. When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change, that's when you got your shit together.
0:48:19.6 Tess: Totally, yeah.
0:48:19.7 Jared: Grant, I'm curious from your end, especially to make this really tactical for those that are listening, if you as her coach, had to give some specifics of why she was so successful... 'Cause one of my favorite things to do is I wanna make learning as easy as possible for everyone. I think if like whenever we bought a car, if we said, "Here's what the most successful car drivers have in common, here's what the least have in common," when we get married, "Here's what the best marriages have in common, here's what the least have in common." So we know like, "Oh, do what those people do and not what those people do." I'm curious, what, maybe from a bullet point standpoint, are some things that you think that made Tess... I could tell you right now a handful, but I wanna know from your perspective, what made her so successful with this?
0:49:02.5 Grant: Well, and the thing with that too, I think when a lot of people are gonna be listening to this, they're gonna expect me to say like these big things, it was this moment on this day that was the breakthrough. But what made you so successful from my perspective, it's doing the little things, it's doing the boring things on the day-to-day, right? It's the small act of holding yourself accountable every single day we're tracking. It's a small act of holding yourself accountable with stepping on the scale. It's the little things that matter, right? It's the little things that add up that lead to that giant amount of success. It's not... For example, maybe the breakthrough you had on how to handle stress in this situation. Sure, that's big, but again, what led to such great success is all of the little things. It's the little wins. We talk about win stacking all the time. It's the little things that you do, the boring stuff, the tedious shit that you do on the day-to-day that leads to all of that.
0:49:54.7 Grant: So again, is there... These big moments or these big things that we did, sure, I'm sure that there are some things that played a part into that, but what really led to a lot of that success from my perspective is just doing the boring work day in, day out.
0:50:08.6 Jared: What I would piggy back on that is, from what I've seen, I actually wrote down three, number one, you let go of release of outcomes, right? You said, I let go of the finish line and I learned that this is just the journey I'm on and you like... And then all of a sudden now you fell in love with that. That would be number one. Number two is, I think the fact that you let go of control and gave all trust to Grant.
0:50:30.6 Tess: Yeah.
0:50:31.2 Jared: I think that's the thing is... Even... And those listening, even if that doesn't... They don't have a coach, how much do you actually, I would ask, trust the program you're doing? Trust the methodology. And most people are living like half-pregnant where they're like, "I kinda not," or it's like... Or it's almost like, how would we have a great relationship? Like imagine Tess having a great marriage, but if every seven seconds you ask your husband if he's cheating on you or if he's left yet, it's like that uncertainty would destroy the outcome of a great marriage, but everyone's halfway like, "Well, what's Karen doing? Well, what am I doing here? Well, I don't know, I should have lost more. Fuck, this sucks," where it's like you let go of all of that and gave all certainty in this case, into the program, but for those that are listening, it can be to whatever they're doing.
0:51:12.5 Jared: And then the third thing was, I think one of the biggest ones that I think is why you were so successful is you reframed every obstacle to a challenge that had to be overcome where... It actually reminds me, I don't know if you know this or not, of a buffalo. Did you know that one of the differences between buffalo and cows, cows, when they see a storm coming, they run away from the storm, which inevitably keeps them in the storm longer because they're being little bitches and running away from the storm.
0:51:41.7 Jared: The buffalo looks at it and goes, bet, and runs head first into the storm because they know the sooner they get into the shit, the sooner they go out because they pass each other. So one of the things that you've done such a good job with, as you said, "This motherfucker will not conquer me, I'm gonna conquer you," and you made every little like hurdle a challenge and you fucking kicked in its dick and called it a day.
0:52:06.8 Jared: Do you know what I mean?
0:52:07.8 Tess: [makes punching motions] BAM! Just kidding. [laughter]
0:52:09.3 Jared: So what do you think though? I'm curious of your perspective. Tess, why do you think this has been so successful for you?
0:52:16.6 Tess: I mean, absolutely... The absolute number one thing is definitely the trust. Once I found that trust, and it's... I feel very lucky that I've gotten to this point where I found myself absolutely falling in full trust of Grant being like, "He knows what he's talking about." You're teaching me so much along the way. I believed in where you were coming from. I believed in how you explained things. I believe when you said, "Don't do something," whatever it may be, that it started to lead into me trusting myself for the first time too, being like, listen to my body and like I... I mean...
0:52:57.3 Grant: That's a big one right there. [laughter]
0:53:00.1 Tess: I fricking hear it. And we've been working on this like...
0:53:00.8 Grant: Yeah. [chuckle]
0:53:01.8 Tess: Summer being like, "Stop eating," or "Eat something," or "Tess, don't go to the fucking gym and hurt yourself".
0:53:07.9 Grant: Yeah I was gonna say that's the big one. Don't go to the gym.
0:53:11.0 Tess: Yeah. I can be very competitive even against myself. And sometimes he's like, "Don't go to the damn gym. You're hurt. Don't go." But starting to actually listen and trust myself too has been a by-product and I really hope it continues that way. And I am so sorry, I think I've already lost the question you just asked me. [laughter]
0:53:37.4 Jared: No no you answered it. You answered it.
0:53:37.5 Tess: But it's very huge. It's like I'm starting to do that. And I know I don't listen to myself all the time, but the fact that I'm recognizing there's that voice, it's like, "Sleep another hour, and then you can go to the gym because we're too tired, we're gonna pull something," or something like that, being like, "You know what, bitch, I trust you. So I'm gonna listen to you." That's definitely a work in progress. But it's this other part of me that I think is trusting myself and not being such a dick to myself all the time, and working on that relationship is really what's making everything fall into place, I feel.
0:54:18.5 Jared: It's almost like dieting from the inside out fixes all this surface level shit. Interesting.
0:54:24.6 Tess: It's so strange. It's like first time you've ever said that. [laughter]
0:54:29.8 Grant: I'm kind of curious too, what would you say, because that's one thing that I've seen a big shift in with you is going from a place of where you were being kind of hard on yourself for certain things, this went wrong, to giving yourself a lot of leniency and grace, and obviously, I think that that's a beautiful evolution as a person being able to look at a situation saying, "Hey, you know what, I'm gonna control for what I can, let go of what I can't", but what do you think got you there? And I'm kind of curious what your thoughts are on that.
0:54:57.6 Tess: I almost feel like the majority of that came from actually being in a situation that I couldn't control, like having a line of 60 people deep, I am greeting them, taking their orders, dealing with the food happening out here, making sure like, "Oh yeah, you want extra barbecue," constantly in that to where I can't be like, "I'm upset about something right now. I am mad about this one thing that happened," instead I was forced to be like, "Okay, listen, you can't just... Excuse me, I'll be right with you. [grabs pen and paper] 'I'm feeling really upset...'" It's like it's not an option for me. And so what we had to do and we would back and forth for months too, it's still like learning alternate coping mechanisms that I can't just pick up a piece of paper, I can't just mentally check out when I have 60 hungry people in front of me, I'm taking cash money, I'm writing things for these guys, I can't...
0:56:00.2 Tess: It's being forced to be in a situation to where like, "Okay, I need to take a second. I'm pissed off. Got it. Alright, put it in your pocket for later, and when we eat that protein bar in the fridge, you do it by yourself and consume these things by yourself and being forced to evolve within scenarios that I could not control. Like being over 116-degree fryer for 12 hours in one day. I literally almost passed out one day. And just being like, "Okay, in this moment, I'm gonna sit down here. You watch me. If my face goes pale, tell me so I don't fall from a whole whopping 5'1" that I am," or whatever it is, and it's like... I think it being forced to have to evolve in the moment, constantly, just force me to be creative and to try to find things that fit me.
0:57:02.7 Grant: Yeah. And I think there's a teaching moment in that as well, because, for example, we try to do a lot of things that at first didn't work, and then we would try something else. And again, I think that it's not only having that trust in me, but also having that trust in yourself that, "Hey, eventually I will be able to find this thing. It might not be what I think right now, but eventually given enough time, given enough effort, trying new things, eventually I will find that thing that works for me." Right? And again, it's just having that trust in yourself, having that trust in me, but again, I think that that also goes a really long way and finding the one that... Because again, you can try 100 different things, and so what, if they don't work for you, who gives a shit? You'll find that one that will work for you and once you do, perfect, we're set.
0:57:40.5 Jared: And I wanna interject on that too, because I think the other thing that is not getting said is like you got this... Tess you built this trust in yourself, but you didn't have it before, so it's like, where did that come from? I truly believe it came from 'Cause with any other person, trust has to be earned. You showed up for yourself in spite of not wanting to. You invested in yourself. You have these challenges and you said, "Bet, I'm gonna overcome that", and you basically unconsciously showed yourself you're worth trusting, and that was the missing link. I think that's where that trust came from is where it wasn't there before, as you tried, you failed, tried, failed, tried, failed, and now you have a beautiful track record now, 'cause our brains are nothing but a record of the past, and now you have your new record of the past, is you having a great tracker with yourself or you're like, "Bet, I'm someone that can be relied on", but we look at that through the lens of our own self. So that I think is why.
0:58:38.8 Tess: God, that's super cool. And very honestly, the keyword that you said there was subconsciously. It's like I didn't realize it. There are... I can't... I don't remember every morning getting up and going to the gym or anything like that. I just did it and wound up there or... And...
0:58:55.4 Grant: It's the little things.
0:58:57.0 Tess: It's not until later, like months, whatever time later that I'm just like, "Oh shit, I have been showing up for myself. Why am I beating myself up?"
0:59:06.1 Jared: It's because we sabotage back to our identity. This is why, again, why we have to diet from the inside out, is because we always... When we go into autopilot mode, which is 90% of our day, we sabotage back to our identity, so if your identity is someone now who just shows up for themselves, your identity is someone who enjoys the journey, your identity is someone who gives themself grace during unprecedented times, you sabotaged that, which puts you further ahead versus before your identity wasn't there, which made it why you sabotaged and got bad results. So this is why the identity piece is so important. So fuck yeah.
0:59:42.7 Tess: Huge. That's cool. I'm seeing that now too. [laughter]
0:59:47.5 Jared: Yeah, yeah.
0:59:50.0 Tess: This is really cool.
0:59:52.0 Jared: Guys, this has been so good. I can't believe it's been an hour already. This has been so fucking good. Any final thoughts?
0:59:56.4 Grant: Absolutely. Yeah.
0:59:57.4 Jared: Any final thoughts? Any final words of anything from either of you guys or you're feeling pretty good?
1:00:03.8 Tess: I'm feeling good. Honestly, if I can just give anyone any piece of advice, whether you're wanting to do this or not, it's like, "Don't freak out. Just try. Try something if you want. If you don't wanna take a commitment monetarily, like totally get it, 100%, but also think of what kinda doors you might actually open up by having an actual financial investment and how much you are gonna wanna follow through," which means you're gonna follow through with yourself in so many other ways that you can gain so fricking much by just taking a chip off or... Again, I'm not trying to sell everybody on coaching, but...
1:00:49.1 Jared: I didn't tell her to say this, everybody. [chuckle]
1:00:54.0 Tess: For real, I was trying to get the person off the phone initially. I was like, "Don't even call me with this." And it's completely different. I would never take it back for the world and just finding the steps you can take forward to start to know and trust in yourself is phenomenal, and I hope that you find it.
1:01:17.1 Jared: I love that so much. Anything on your end, Grant or you're good?
1:01:20.5 Grant: Nope. I wanna say something. So guys, if you are listening to this, chances are you've probably been listening to a lot of these and maybe you've taken that step forward, maybe you haven't. And if you're listening to this and you have not yet taken that step forward, take a leap of faith, guys. I'm not saying to get into coaching, but take a leap of faith, get into the unknown waters, try to do something for yourself. And I promise you this, take that initial step and you might like what you see.
1:01:45.7 Jared: I have nothing to add 'cause you guys did it all. Good job. I love it. Well, guys, both of you, I appreciate the fuck out of you. Thank you so much, both of you for doing this. Thank you Tess, for sharing your story.
1:01:54.7 Grant: Yeah, thanks for coming on here Tess. It was fun.
1:01:57.0 Jared: Yeah, it was great.
1:01:57.3 Tess: It was a great time.
1:01:58.1 Jared: I love it. I'll talk to both of you guys here soon.
1:02:03.2 Jared: And we are back. Thank you so much for those of you that stuck around for the whole episode, I really, really appreciate it. I really hope more than anything that this episode just gave you a little bit of faith and hope in what you can do. 'Cause that's the thing, is my goal with this podcast is, especially an episode like this, is I want you to have these little golden nuggets and tools you can take and run with and go crush with. But if anything, I just want you to have some hope that you're no different than in this case Tess. That way you can go, "Oh, if she can do it, then I can do it." Or like, man, my job and my life is crazy, but it is not like 12 to 14 hours in a day on a food truck crazy, right? But she was able to make all that happen because she chose to invest in herself, she chose to actually take ownership over her situation and run with it, and then lo and behold, she's on the other side and killing it. So I really hope this helped. Now, for those of you who are listening and you're like, "Okay, I think I need help. I don't know how to do what Tess did. My crazy life right now, I just don't know how, and I feel a little bit trapped or I feel like I don't know how to get out of it."
1:03:03.6 Jared: And if you want to apply for coaching, I'm going to leave a link below, that way we can talk about the possibility of it. Because you're coming from the podcast, I do have a special offer for you. I'm basically... Podcast listeners who sign up for coaching or apply for coaching, get signed up, get accepted and all of that, I'm basically giving away about $4000 worth of freebies for you guys, just because I really value the podcast listeners because you're literally willing to sit here and listen for like an hour of me talking. So with that being said, that's on the table. But if you want to have your own Tess experience where you're able to go through and get an exact plan of what you need to do and for us to hold you accountable and give you the certainty and to guide you so you can come out on the other side and not have to keep going at this on your own and trial and erroring and falling off and sabotaging and all that mess, you can do so down at the link below.
1:03:50.2 Jared: There'll be like an 'apply for coaching' button or a link, just click on that. But otherwise, for those that are not gonna do that, I do have some other links down there for you. I have things like my links to my other socials, things like the YouTube account, things like, I have a free course down in the description as well, if you haven't gone through it. But then I also have my link to my Facebook community, Fat Loss Simplified because everyone needs a home base, especially if you're not gonna be coaching with us, you need a home base, of some semblance of support. So I'll leave that down there as well because it's a magical place.
1:04:20.2 Jared: It's amazing. So I'll leave that all down there for you. Be sure if you are not already, be sure and subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening to it on. And if you're on a platform like, let's say Spotify... Not Spotify. I don't think Spotify lets you do reviews. But if you're on something like, let's say, Apple Podcast or I think Stitcher lets you rank and review podcasts, either way, if your platform lets you listen to... Lets you listen and review the podcast, please leave me a review and be sure and subscribe. And if this helped you, share it with somebody. We do this podcast completely for free, and all I want from this is for... If this message resonates with you, just send it to one person. That's my one ask. If this is... If you got a lot out on this episode, just send it to one person that you know is struggling or that you've been thinking about this whole time, or share it on social media, something like that, just because that way we can get this content to more ears and help more people, and at the end of the day, impact as many lives as possible. Otherwise, I love the fuck out of you. Thank you so much for being here. I will see you next week for next week's episode, and I'll talk to you next time.
Tess has always dealt with weight fluctuations. Working in kitchens, she’s always tasting food, eating, and potentially overeating. She had previously lost weight, but in a restrictive, unhealthy way, and ended up gaining weight quickly again after she stopped her dieting.
Over the years, Tess told herself she was going to start working out, but didn’t get into it. Then, about a year ago, not only had she reached her heaviest weight, but was burnt out. At this point, Tess decided she had to do something, but again fell into restrictive, unhealthy habits. Tess was going to the gym, doing too much cardio, and placing unrealistic goals and restrictions on herself. The amount of pressure she was putting on herself ended up making her go nowhere.
Tess knew she needed to step up and do something different. She found Jared on TikTok in January, when he was doing a momentum challenge.
Doing the momentum challenge—and focusing on just a few things—made all the difference. Tess realized she needed guidance and accountability, and she needed to invest in herself.
Tess was previously a chef in Nashville and currently lives in Nebraska where her family owns a food truck, which she is now helping them grow.
Being a chef, Tess loves food. She doesn’t have a lot of negative emotions, but because she has such a passion for food, she would tend to overeat. Despite having had a very busy food truck season she has lost over 25lbs.
The biggest obstacles Tess has had to deal with include being away from home for days, tasting food all the time, and being surrounded by food all day, every day.
Tess has learned to start taking care of herself by doing some meal prep when she can and bringing food with her to eat to work. She has learned to adjust and make things work for her and her long work days. Tess has discovered that small incremental changes are the best way to make her transformation sustainable.
Throughout her coaching, Tess and Grant have approached everything as a learning experience and have taken the time to identify what is working for her and what isn’t. Tess has been able to let go of her need to be in control of every single thing surrounding her weight loss. Grant’s encouragement has been instrumental in helping Tess change. She’s been in coaching for 9 months and has grown more than she thought possible after struggling for years.
For Tess, about 3 months in, she felt she had changed. Her weight was dropping every single week. She was just focused on protein, calories, and the gym. It was about this time that she realized that the scale had lost its power over her. Then, this summer she started to fit into clothes she hadn’t been able to fit into in a year. Even when she goes through small fluctuations, she is no longer upset by them.
For Grant, he saw Tess’s real shift come after she had the chance to see solid data and results. By following her program, eating enough, exercising an appropriate amount, and living her life, she found her confidence.
Jared has noticed that Tess is great at taking wins where she can get them and hanging onto them. Tess now realizes that each small win brings out more small wins, and it’s helping her put her focus on her accomplishments.
Tess doesn’t have a finish line anymore because she’s reached a good mental and physical state and is now, finally, enjoying the journey. She can try things and take risks without the fear of falling off her program now that she sees it all as a journey and learning experience.
Investing in yourself:
Tess decided to invest in herself after her initial phone call when the momentum challenge had ended. She knew that the amount of money for coaching would have just gone elsewhere, likely on alcohol.
She knew that she gets one body, one life, and that working on getting herself feeling better physically and mentally was more important.
Tess needed to get to a place where she could enjoy her life—where she could go out hiking and do all the activities she loves. And because Tess made a real investment, a monetary investment, in herself, she has been able to take her weight loss journey more seriously.
It took years for her to come to the realization that the investment was not actually an issue, and it led to her being committed to changing and proving to herself that she could change her life.
When she was finally fed up of failing on her own, she was able to take the leap and get help.
What Made Tess Successful:
For Grant, what has made Tess so successful is that she does all the little things. Tess holds herself accountable on the small things she needs to do, the boring things, like stepping on the scale, tracking, and doing the boring work—day in and day out.
Jared has also noticed that Tess has gained success through:
Letting go of desired outcomes. As Tess talked about earlier, she has no finish line now—she’s just enjoying the journey.
She was willing to completely trust her coach, Grant, and give control over to him.
She reframed every obstacle to a challenge that needed to be overcome.
Tess believes that trust is the key to her success. She has learned a lot from Grant, she believed when he said to do or not to do things, and putting that trust in Grant has made her trust herself more.
She is better able to listen to herself and her body, and she is still continually improving in her skills of self-trust while she enjoys this journey.
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