Weight Loss Truths that Most People Are Not Ready to Face | DFIO Ep.250
About Today’s Episode:
Today we’ve got another solo episode coming your way. We’re going to talk about weight loss truths that most people are NOT ready to face.
I made a small post about this and it really struck a chord with people, so I wanted to talk more in-depth about it.
I often find that when I make a post that upsets a lot of people, it reveals an area where we have room for improvement.
By getting into these weight loss truths on the podcast, I can elaborate and really get into explaining these concepts so that those of you who are going to take this information and run with it will have a better understanding.
These, again, are weight loss truths that most people are NOT ready to face—so they will be uncomfortable, because ignorance is bliss.
What I want most is for you all to achieve your goals—and if you don’t face these truths, you won’t be able to build a good foundation.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Introductions
01:59 Sponsors
03:52 Topic Starts
05:12 #1 - Working out isn't therapy—therapy is therapy
08:55 #2 - Your metabolism isn't slow; you just eat more than what you think
10:52 #3 - Nothing is wrong with your hormones, you just aren't consistent for even a few weeks
14:29 #4 - You saying you're an all-or-nothing person is just validating your bad behavior
16:59 #5 - You always saying you're going to start over Monday is lazy
18:10 #6 - You're spending way too much time fighting for your limitations
20:44 #7 - You're looking for reasons to fail and struggle—and that's why you're finding them
23:26 #8 - You aren't doing your best
24:30 #9 - If you know what to do but don't do it, you either don't actually know or don't actually care
27:32 #10 - You have so much more control than you realize, you're just choosing not to utilize it
34:47 Wrap-up and how to apply for coaching
Transcript (click to expand)
Ep. 250 Weight Loss Truths
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Weight Loss Truths that Most People Are NOT Ready to Face | DFIO Ep.250
0:00:00.3 Jared Hamilton: Most of your struggles come from you not doing your best. How is saying, I'm an all or nothing person doing your best? How is saying I'm going to start over Monday doing your best? How is saying, fuck it and continuing to make bad decisions doing your best? How is saying, ah, no, if I can't do the whole thing, I don't want to do it at all. How is that doing your best? It's not. You have to understand if you are struggling and you're not getting that great of results, if we had to audit where your best is at, you're probably not doing it.
0:00:27.1 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of Dieting from the Inside Out. If you're new here, welcome to the show. My name is Jared Hamilton, and I'm super excited that you're here. So thank you so much for joining us once again. Now you are getting a solo episode today. I got a lot of good feedback from the last solo episode I did and some interview schedules got moved around a little bit. So I want to keep the flow of shows coming to you. So you're getting a solo episode today.
0:00:50.8 Jared Hamilton: Now, today, I want to get into a concept of what I'm calling weight loss truths that most people are not ready to face. Ironically, I did a smaller post about this like this past week on Instagram and TikTok, and man, it struck a chord with a lot of people. And I think it's a really good point to talk about this, because usually when I make a post and it upsets a lot of people, followers leave, people get nasty in the comments sections. Number one, it shows that there is an area we need to improve on. Right. Because it's one of those things like the truth hurts in most cases. But it's like I said, these are weight loss truths most people are not ready to face. So that's what we're going to get into today, but the thing I love about the podcast is I can actually get in here and explain things and really get more context and elaborate and show you guys more of what I mean. So this way, the people who are going to take this info and run with it can actually run with it and not just get triggered on Instagram and go through an adult hissy fit and be like a plane and announce their departure.
0:01:46.2 Jared Hamilton: I have never understood that, if you're going to unfollow somebody, just unfollow them, they're like, well, I just want to let you know that I'm going to unfollow you. It's like, bro, this isn't an airport. You don't have to announce when you leave. It's okay. So that's what we're going to get into today. But before we do, huge thank you to the sponsors of the show. Sponsor number one, FlexPro Meals. I actually just had one of their meals right before we recorded because I have been going strong ever since the day started with meetings and things like that back to back. So this is the exact reason I love FlexPro so much is because it keeps me in line with my goals. The food is great, so I love it. And it's just so fucking convenient. So huge thank you to them. If that's something that would help you a lot, having some foods that are in line for your goals that taste amazing, that are according to your numbers and fit really well, definitely go check out FlexPro.
0:02:32.3 Jared Hamilton: I'll leave their link in the comments or just go to flexpromeals.com. But I like to save people money. So if you use my code Hamilton Trained, it'll save you about 20% at checkout, which is legit as fuck, because now we're talking about this being cheaper than a drive through. So definitely check that out. Sponsor number two, I'm wearing one of their shirts again, is 1st Phorm. Now, you guys know I say this every time I am not the supplement beat off. I'm not ever going to sit here and say supplements are the end all be all. But the beautiful thing about 1st Phorm is they will tell you the same thing. I had 1st Phorm just come into my group and do a training here recently. And that was one of the first things out of their mouth. It's like, yo, if you guys are getting everything you need from food, you're good. Supplements are for when you can't get everything you need from food. That's why it's called a supplement. This is why you'll see companies say like, oh, their shake is the best meal of the day. It's like, no, they're lying to you.
0:03:16.8 Jared Hamilton: So you have to understand that supplements can't have their time in their place. They can definitely help fill in gaps. Most people have gaps that need filled unless you're hitting your protein perfectly every day, unless you're getting, five to six servings of fruits and vegetables a day, unless you're making sure to get all of your vitamins in every day, unless you're eating enough fish to get some omegas, probably there are chances that you're probably not doing that. So I want to make sure that your money is going to a place that's giving you quality and you're not just wasting it, which is why I partner with 1st Phorm. So definitely go check out their link below. If you use my link below, it does support me. And I appreciate that. And I know you'll get taken care of there. So definitely check that out.
0:03:52.2 Jared Hamilton: Now, let's get into some of these weight loss truths. We're going to treat this a little kind of rapid fiery. I just don't even have notes. I just got my phone and I'm going to go through all of these. And let me just set a precedence with this, like the hook of this was, the title is weight loss truth that most people don't want to face. Here's the reality. Why don't people want to face most of these? And I don't think the biggest reason why most people don't want to face a harsh truth is because ignorance is bliss. If you don't have to face it, you're not held responsible. But here's the real truth, I want to help you. I want you to achieve your goals this year more than... I would almost say more than you want you to achieve your goals. But the problem is, unless you face all of these, you're not going to make it.
0:04:34.7 Jared Hamilton: At the end of the day, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that just like, oh, eat your calorie deficit, strength training, eat protein, yeah, that's important, but that's not what this list is about because what I'm going to get into with this list is nothing else matters if you don't have it in check. It's like the foundation of a house. It doesn't matter what kind of windows you have. It doesn't matter what kind of doors you have, the paint on the walls. If you don't have a foundation, the house is going to crumble on itself. So that's what we're going to get into. But like I said, a good amount of these seem to really upset some people. And either it was because they're taking it out of context or to be honest, because it hit too close to home and the truth hurts. And most adults are fucking children, so they threw a hissy fit.
0:05:08.8 Jared Hamilton: So I want to get into these and really talk about this. So right out the gate, number one, weight loss truths that most people are not ready to face. Number one, working out isn't therapy. Therapy is therapy. Here's what I mean by this. This triggers people every time I talk about it. Working out is absolutely not therapy. Working out can be therapeutic as a tool, but it's not therapy. Journaling, I talk about journaling all the time. Journaling is therapeutic, but it is not therapy. Like, think of it this way, especially if you're sitting there triggered or upset or you're like, no, who are you to tell me that what is therapy to me and what's not? Well, first of all, last time I checked, therapy isn't something objective where you can change the definition based on what you feel. Therapy, it's like math classes, math class, paint on a wall is paint on a wall. Things can be therapeutic, but that does not mean they're an equal exchange for therapy. That would be an example that I like to use is imagine I have a broken arm, but I say no running is my doctor. Going on a run is my doctor, but I have a broken fucking arm. It doesn't help. It doesn't do anything for the broken arm.
0:06:15.5 Jared Hamilton: So you going, let's say you have inner child issues. Let's say you have a horrible relationship with your food. Let's say you're sad. You're overwhelmed. You going to the gym. Yes, it could be an outlet. Yes, it is a positive habit, but therapy... I'm sorry, but working out is not therapy itself, it can be, if used correctly, therapeutic. But most people that I know who say working out is my therapy are actually using it as a suppressive tool. Here's what I mean by that 'cause like this is the big thing I want you guys to really take home, especially if you're not quite bought in yet, which is okay. I'm just explaining to you and trying to help. When you say that working out is the equivalent of therapy and you're really set on that, like imagine this, if you had, let's say a best friend who has stuff going on, you have a friend or a kid with debilitating depression and anxiety disorder, fuck maybe even bipolar. Let's say they have a horrible relationship with food. Let's say they have trauma as a child. Let's say they have all this shit to unpack. And would you say, "Hey, just go work out 'cause it's the same thing. It's fine. Just go lift." Of course not.
0:07:18.9 Jared Hamilton: I'm telling you, think of it logically. If working out was the same thing as therapy, why would therapists have to go get a fucking PhD and go to school for years and years and years and all this stuff is because it's not therapy, working out can be therapeutic as in it can be great for your mental health. It can be great as an outlet. It can be great for endorphins. Those things are fine and dandy, but it's not therapy. It's therapy is therapy. You have to understand this because my bigger issue is the people who say working out is my therapy and it's the equivalent of their alcohol or their overworking or their overeating or their suppressive mechanism. Because most people who say, "Jared working out is my therapy," are saying it because they go to the gym, they work out really hard because they're distracted, they're not thinking about maybe how do I unpack and hold space for my inner child issues and my childhood trauma and my anxiety.
0:08:09.6 Jared Hamilton: They go, "Oh no, I'm going to go run really fucking hard. So I don't have to think about my problems. So I don't have to deal with my anxiety. So I don't have to feel my depression." That's avoidance. If we're being honest, now don't get this twisted. I'm not saying that working out is bad for your mental health. I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm not saying it doesn't have therapeutic benefits, but I'm saying working on is not therapy. Therapy is therapy and you've got to be careful not to use some positive habit like go to the gym as a suppressive mechanism. And that's the thing is not everyone does this, but a lot of people who say working out is therapy, there's my therapy, like it's objective it can be a therapeutic action, but it is not a replacement for therapy.
0:08:53.5 Jared Hamilton: Okay. That's the number one that pissed everyone off. Number two, weight loss truth that most people are not ready to face. Your metabolism isn't slow. You just eat more than what you think. Holy fuck. This one pissed off so many people. Now here's the thing. The reason I... This one, most people took this out of context because here's the thing. Your metabolism isn't slow. You just eat more than what you think. No, no, no, I'm sorry. It's the next one I got twisted, but we're going to stay on the metabolism one, me saying your metabolism isn't slow, you just eat more than what you think, that's the case for most people. Most people who scream from the rooftops, my metabolism slow. I have a slow metabolism. Oh, it's my age. My metabolism is broken. They haven't been consistent for more than like three weeks and they end up overeating. So for you, before you say, oh, my metabolism is fucked. Oh it's my age and it doesn't burn the way it used to, I'm telling you, your metabolism is more than likely fine. You just eat more than what you think.
0:09:45.4 Jared Hamilton: Hell even in coaching, excuse me. When we coach people, one of the first things that we do inside our dieting from the inside out stage is we fix metabolisms when they're not doing very hot, right? Because if you've been stuck to a 1200 calorie diet for the last five years and you're not strength training and you're sleeping like shit, like, yeah, your metabolism is going to be a little slow. But most people though, even we find this out in coaching, they just ate more than what they think, right? You may think you're eating 1200 calories, but if we actually added... You audited every calorie you ate for the past six months, you're eating 1200 calories for like two days and then the weekend hits or whatever the case is. So in most of you that are watching or listening to this, because this is on YouTube now, so you should definitely go subscribe to the YouTube to watch this episode, your metabolism isn't the problem. You are just eating more than what you think. Don't believe me, then I want you to... I'm talking about tediously as fuck track every calorie you eat for the next month, just one month. If you can't do that, just the next couple of weeks and you will find that you eat so much more than you think when you put pen to paper.
0:10:51.8 Jared Hamilton: Okay. Next number three, weight loss truths that most people don't want to face. This is one that I was talking about and this is one that pissed everyone off. Nothing is wrong with your hormones, you just aren't consistent for even a few weeks. Here's what I mean by that. Most people again took this one out of context completely, but the problem is most of you watching this and this is a really hard fact that upsets most people 'cause again, ignorance is bliss. I'm telling you, most of you watching this right now, nothing's wrong with your hormones, you just have consistency issues. And I will be the first one to say, guys, I personally have hormone problems. I have my testosterone left to its own devices is about 300 and it should be closer to 1,000 from my testosterone rating.
0:11:32.0 Jared Hamilton: So I'm talking to you from a perspective of my hormones are fucked, which is why, but here's the thing, leading up to me getting my hormones checked and me deciding to get on TRT was number one, I was consistent in my actions and results still weren't there. If you want all the background on this, go watch my testosterone vlog when I decided to get on TRT. Number one. Number two, I actually went and got my hormones tested at the doctor and multiple tests and they came and they were in fact low, and number three, I started treatment and things changed because here's the thing. When most people who are screaming from the rooftops, "Oh, my hormones are fucked. That's why I'm not losing weight." Your hormones are fine because if we did the other two things, number one, like I always tell people this, if you haven't been consistent for months on end, you have zero right to complain your hormones are the reason you're not losing weight, right?
0:12:23.9 Jared Hamilton: Here's the thing, inside coaching, we have so many people with hormone issues. I would say half of our coaching population are... Well, first of all, we coach mostly women, mostly middle-aged women. Most of our clients, I would say at least half, so half-ish, either have PCOS, thyroid problems, Hashimoto's, and insulin resistance and those kind of things and going through menopause, different stages of menopause. But guess what? When they're consistent and showing up and doing their part, guess what? They lose weight almost effortlessly, right? Even with all their hormone issues because they're consistent. You see what I mean? So before you sit in there and scream like, "Oh, I'm not losing the weight. It's my hormones with the problem." Double-check your consistency first. And then go so far to say this, if you are being consistent and your weight isn't coming off, don't just say your hormones are the problem. Go get them checked. You can go check any of your stuff. You can go get your T3 checked. You can go get your testosterone checked. You can go get growth hormones checked. You can go get all of your insulin sensitivity checked. You can go get your PCOS stuff checked out, right? All of that.
0:13:29.6 Jared Hamilton: But most people who are complaining and bitching that, they're the people that are sitting bitching and complaining about, "Oh, my hormones are why I'm not losing weight." Aren't consistent for even a few weeks and never actually got their hormones tested. So they just sit there and sulk and blame it and then continue to be inconsistent. So I'm not saying hormone issues don't exist. I'm not saying hormone issues don't contribute to you not getting to where you want to be. I am saying though, a very small percentage of you actually fall into that category. And most people who are saying that have not been consistent, including the weekends for months on end. And it also went and got their hormones checked. And prove me wrong. If you disagree, prove me wrong. I would handle that every day of the week. If someone came into my DM and said, "Jared, you're wrong. I don't agree with you." I would go, "So how many months have you been consistent, including the weekends?" And people do that and they go, "Oh, well, none." I go, "So maybe that's the issue not your hormones," because we work with, like I said, plenty of people who have hormone issues, but because they're consistent, they still get results. So that was the big one that pissed everyone off.
0:14:29.8 Jared Hamilton: Next, weight loss truths that most people don't want to face. Next is you saying you're an all or nothing person is just validating your bad behavior. You have to understand guys that whenever you say things like that, I'm an all or nothing person, you're justifying a bad decision. Think about it. If you've bingeing on a Tuesday and you go, "Oh, I'm an all or nothing person, I'll start over Monday." You're quite literally validating the shitty decision you're about to make that you know you shouldn't make, because when you blame it on, oh, I'm an all or nothing person, you're giving that control and you're saying, I'm not responsible for my own actions because this is the kind of person that I am. But here's the problem. I'm going to give you an analogy. What if this was any other area in your life?
0:15:12.2 Jared Hamilton: I bet all of you guys would have a problem is what if I asked Shelby to do something like, what if I said, "Hey baby, will you run out to my car and grab my backpack 'cause I'm busy?" And if she didn't do it or she forgot, what if I beat my wife and I said, well, I'm just an all or nothing person. She either does what I ask her to or I beat her. Right? I know it's an extreme example, but you guys would all have problems with that. What would happen if you said you're an all or nothing person and you cracked your phone screen. Most of you watching this have done that. You've had your phone screen... Your phone, you dropped it, you cracked the screen and you still use your phone. I don't know a single person who cracks their screen and goes, you know what? I'm an all or nothing person. And they bash their phone with a hammer till it doesn't turn on. We have the old analogy where if you walked out to your car and one of the tires was flat, you would not say I'm an all or nothing person, then slash the other three tires. But imagine if you did do all that stuff. Imagine if your wife didn't bring you or your husband didn't bring you something, so you abused them and you're like an all or nothing person, your phone screen, the tires, a whole nine yards. Imagine that. Does that make any sense whatsoever? Would you go with that philosophy and that mentality into the rest of your life? Of course not.
0:16:22.8 Jared Hamilton: I made a post a few months ago. I said, if you took the mentalities and the attitudes that you have in weight loss to the rest of your normal life, you wouldn't last 24 hours. So you have to realize that whenever you do whip out the all or nothing card, it's because you're validating your bad behavior. That's just simply put what it is. So stop doing that. You're not an all or nothing person. You just pretend like it when it's something that you struggle with. Okay. That's just the harsh reality of it. And I promise, I mean all this guys, I know it may sound kind of rough, but the whole point of this post is these are blunt truths. These are weight loss truths that most people aren't ready to face. And I say this all because I love you and I want to help you. Okay.
0:16:58.6 Jared Hamilton: Next, you always saying you're going to start over Monday is lazy. Very much along the same lines of all or nothing. When you are... Again, when you're I'm just going to start over Monday, you're being lazy. You are one moment, one decision, one bite, one workout, one decision away from being back on track. It could be a Thursday afternoon and you overeat a Mexican with your friends. You can still go get your workout in that day. You can still not binge the rest of the day. You can still not wait to start over. You can still get your water and you can still get your journaling in. It's the same thing. We got to start treating this weight loss game, just like we do for every other area in your life.
0:17:37.8 Jared Hamilton: I know you go back... Most of you guys that work a normal, like 9:00 to 5:00, you go back to work on Monday, but that's about it. You don't not take care of your kids over the weekend. You don't not brush your teeth over the weekend. You don't not pay your bills over the weekend. A lot of you guys still will work on the weekends, right? You still feed your dog on the weekends. So stop treating your weight loss like it's your job and where you're just like, oh, I'm taking the weekend off, gonna start over Monday because the problem is most of you are so restricted during the week, which is its own problem that when the weekend does hit and you're like, "I'm going to start over Monday," you have a free for all. And that's not okay either.
0:18:10.7 Jared Hamilton: Next, you're spending way too much time fighting for your limitations. This one's big. There's an old quote that I like and it goes like this. It says, "If you fight for your limitations, you can have them," because here's the truth, it's not your fault about the limitations that you have. I have some friends and some close, close people to me that have some really big limitations, like big ones. And they don't fight for them though. We all have stuff going on. We all have things in our life, our childhood, our physical stuff, our emotional stuff, our mental stuff, our mental stuff, stuff that happened to us. We could blame these limitations, but the problem is when you fight for those, you can just have them then, you're literally fighting for a limitation when you're like, you don't understand Jared. My mom said, da, da, da, da, da, you don't understand. I grew up da, da, da, da. You don't understand my thyroid doesn't work. You don't understand my whatever.
0:19:02.3 Jared Hamilton: The problem is, when you fight for your limitations, you're quite literally trying to take steps to not get to where you want to be and to validate them. Just because something's not your fault, doesn't mean it's not your responsibility, right? Case in point, whenever we bought this house, the house that we live in, we bought like six or seven months ago. And when we bought it is the first week we moved in water leak in the bathroom. It's not my fault that the house has... The bathroom, the upstairs bathroom as well, to make it even worse, had a water leak in it. It's not my fault. I didn't know it was like that the building inspector didn't even notice it and it wasn't until our first week living here that the bathroom upstairs in our bedroom, it had a water leak. It's not my fault, but guess whose house it is? It's mine, which means it's my responsibility to get it fixed. But imagine if I just said, nope, it's their fault. I'm just going to... And just left it.
0:19:57.6 Jared Hamilton: Imagine if I validated all the reasons why I shouldn't have to fuck with that. It's not my fault. I didn't do it. I can't believe it's like this. And it's like, that's just that much more time, energy, bandwidth and resources and me not getting it fixed, I go, "This sucks. Okay, I'm going to fix it." And I fixed it. But a lot of you guys are sitting there that you're just spending so much time and bandwidth fighting for why you shouldn't make it, why you should be gaining the way back, why you're going to fail, why this isn't going to work this time. But the problem is, that's so much bandwidth.
0:20:25.7 Jared Hamilton: Imagine if you put that bandwidth that you think about your limitations and like, well, I'm probably not going to make it because of this. I wasn't gifted here. I didn't... I struggle with this, whatever it is. Imagine if you put that energy and bandwidth into just action moving forward, it changes everything. Okay. Next coming down the homestretch. I'm trying not to make this too long. Again, we're talking about weight loss truths. This is like part three, if you will, on the post, weight loss truths that most people don't want to face.
0:20:55.4 Jared Hamilton: The next is you're looking for reasons to fail and struggle and that's why you're finding them. You guys have to understand that we always get what we look for. If you find that you're struggling and failing left and right, you're probably unconsciously looking for reasons to fail. You have this thing, I won't get into all of it here. I have a whole YouTube video on your reticular activating system and fat loss. It's this thing in your brain, but you have organs in your brain that are chemically designed to show you what you look for and what's important to you, which means when you're going on this journey and if you're like looking for reasons to fail and to not make it or reasons to struggle, your brain will quite literally hide from you all the reasons that are going to make things easier and better for you and only give you data and validate why you're going to struggle and fail. It's crazy. It's why, like for example, if you have, let's say, I don't know, a white car, you see white cars everywhere. But then if you sell the white car and buy a blue van, all of a sudden you see blue vans everywhere and you don't see white cars anymore, we all have gone through that.
0:22:00.3 Jared Hamilton: It's not because that there are more or less white cars and blue vans on the road, it's because our awareness changed and we unconsciously filter things differently. It's called your reticular activating system. I have a YouTube video on it about your RAS and weight loss. It'll change your life, but it's things like that. If you are unconsciously or consciously for that matter, trying to always saying, well, I should have lost more weight. Ah, this is taking forever. Oh, it's not good enough. So-and-so is making more progress than me. This sucks. I'm never motivated. Well, that's what you're telling your RAS to look for. So it's going to hide wins. It's going to hide opportunity. It's going to hide resources. It's only going to validate and show you more of a reason to continue to fail. So if you feel like life is out to get you, if you feel like you never can make it happen, if you feel like that you're always struggling and always failing, it's probably because on some level you are looking for it. And we always get what we look for.
0:22:52.6 Jared Hamilton: So many areas prove this, is if you're a religious person, the Bible straight up says, seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be open. If you're a spiritual person that gets into like law of attraction and things like that, it's quite literally what you think about comes about, right? If you are a science, physiological psychology person, look up your reticular activating system, the thing I just explained. On all levels, we get what we look for. So if what you're getting is not so great, it's probably because on some level you're looking for it or it's one of your dominant thoughts.
0:23:26.1 Jared Hamilton: Okay. Next, this is one's a lot of people don't like, weight loss truths most people don't want to face. You aren't doing your best. I'm not saying you have to completely max out every day in an unsustainable way, but you have to understand most of your struggles come from you not doing your best. Like, what do we tell kids? Just do your best, buddy. Hey, I know you're scared about the test. Just do your best. Most of you are not doing your best. If you're struggling, how is saying I'm an all or nothing person doing your best? Like we talked about saying you're an all or nothing person, just validating bad behavior. It's not doing your best. How is saying, I'm going to start over Monday doing your best? How is saying, fuck it and continuing to make bad decisions doing your best? How is not being able to... Let's say you can't go do a full workout, but you could still go walk around the block to get your habits in and to get your mental momentum. How is saying, ah, no, if I can't do the whole thing, I don't want to do it at all. How is that doing your best? It's not. So you have to understand if you are struggling and you're not getting that grade of results, if we had to audit where your best is at, you're probably not doing it.
0:24:30.8 Jared Hamilton: Okay. Next. Is this the last one? No, we're coming down the home stretch. If you know what to do, but don't do it, you either don't actually know or don't actually care. Let me say that again. If you know what to do, but don't do it, you either don't truly know or you just don't care. You guys have to understand a lot of times when I see this happen, it's like, let's someone may say, oh, I know I should be eating better. I just don't, I don't know what my problem is. Well, 'cause it goes back to the old saying of, if we knew better, we would do better. So then my thing is, do you actually not know what to do? But most people, it's that they don't care or their current reality doesn't hurt bad enough. If you think about why do you... Things like brushing your teeth, going to work and paying your bills, you know you should do them, and you do it anyway. You're not motivated. You don't want to go to work. You don't want to pay your bills. You don't love brushing your teeth.
0:25:20.6 Jared Hamilton: So why do you do it anyway? It's because the negative outcome hurts worse. Getting evicted from your home, losing your car, not getting your bills paid, getting your utility shut off hurts a lot worse than going to work. That's why you do it. Getting cavities, having bad breath and yellow teeth hurts a lot worse than the two minutes AM, two minutes PM brushing your teeth. Do you see what I mean? So if you sit there and say, Jared, I know what to do. I just don't do it. Either your current reality, it doesn't hurt bad enough or the perceived hurt of what's the struggle you're going to stay in or what's going to happen or the bad things isn't heightened enough or you're not aware of it. Right? It's one of my favorite things to do when I do coaching calls with people or I'm teaching on a webinar or whatever along this subject. I want to know what's it going to cost you if you never move forward?
0:26:09.4 Jared Hamilton: And that's when people get emotional, right? Someone will say, "Jared, I know what to do. I just don't do it." And I'll go, "Okay, so what happens if you don't do it? Not now. What happens in 10 years?" They're like, "Oh shit, I won't be alive." I'm like, "Oh wow. Do you want grandbabies?" "Well, yeah." "Well, you won't see them though." "Oh, that's a good point." Okay. How's your romantic life? Oh, it's terrible because I hate the way I look and feel and I'm not confident. Okay. What if you don't have sex with your husband for the next decade because you don't feel good? Oh, your marriage won't work out. Got it.
0:26:35.6 Jared Hamilton: And we start stacking this list because it's one of those things that in most cases, if you know what to do, but don't do it, you either don't know or you don't care enough or you aren't aware of the negative side effects that are going to happen at scale. But like, if you think about like a kid, if they know they should clean their room, they just don't clean it. It's because they don't care. They know they're supposed to, they just don't give a shit. Right? You see what I'm saying? So this is why if you are in the shoes of, I know what to do, it's just not happening. I don't know what's wrong with me. Well, which one is it? Is it you don't know or do you not care? Because again, if the stakes were higher, you would change it more than likely.
0:27:11.8 Jared Hamilton: That's why people will have like a heart attack and then they go from not being consistent, not being consistent, being really overweight. They have a heart attack and don't die. Then they're like, shit, that was scary. Then they get their life together, right? It's because they hit the rock bottom and rock bottom is just a really painful place. So if you know what to do, but just don't do it, you either don't know or don't care. Okay.
0:27:31.5 Jared Hamilton: Final part, weight loss truths that most people don't want to face. This is the part four. You have so much more control than you realize. You're just choosing not to utilize it. You have to understand this guys. Most people look at their control in the wrong places 'cause I may say that and you may be sitting there going, well, there's no, no, I don't hardly have control over anything. Most of the time you're thinking of outcomes because there are so many things you don't have control of, like outcome based. You don't have control how much weight you lose, where it comes off of, how fast, how slow, you can't control half the shit going on in your day, all that kind of stuff. But the couple of things you can control, change everything. You can control your actions and you can control your attitude. You can control what you think about. Well, I control my thoughts. If I control my attitude around what I think and then I control my actions, you're telling me I'm not going to have an amazing life? You're going to tell me that doesn't bulletproof me?
0:28:28.1 Jared Hamilton: This is why I'm saying you have so much more in your control than you realize, you're just choosing not to utilize it. You guys, you have to understand, I don't know if you've seen this video or this picture or not. There's a trendy picture online, I think if you Google... Hey, let me do it while I'm here on the show. Let me just do it real quick. Just for those that are watching this, though for those that are watching, I want you guys to be able to look this up real quick, just to see what I'm talking about. So if you were to go Google donkey... No, I think it's a donkey, donkey tied to horse. I'm sorry, not horse, donkey tied to chair. Let me look it up real quick. Make sure it's right here.
0:29:08.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. So if you go Google the phrase, "donkey tied to chair," and right now, at the time of filming this, it's the very first video or the very first picture that pops up on YouTube... Not on YouTube. Wow. I can't talk, on Google and you see this donkey or a horse, tied to one of those like really cheap, shitty dollar store lawn chairs, right? It's like one of those that you could sit and break it, it weighs like two pounds. You've got this powerful ass donkey or actually in this picture, it's a horse and it's tied to this chair, but it's stuck because it doesn't realize how powerful it is. The horse or donkey in this case, it does not realize how powerful it is. And so it's stuck. But you looking at this, you go like, why doesn't this thing move? It's because it's belief systems are broken. It thinks it's stuck. And it thinks that it's not powerful enough. That's how most of you are right now.
0:30:00.3 Jared Hamilton: Most of you going through this and struggling think that you aren't powerful. You think that you don't have all these things in your control. You think that all of life is out to get you or you think that the things... That you're not in control of your reality, but the problem is, you are, it's just like that horse, but you're held captive by the belief around the chair. So in this, you have so much more in control or I'm sorry, you are in so much more control than you think, you're just choosing not to realize it just like this horse is... Well, the horse is conditioned, but it's the same thing with the horse. It just doesn't realize it or I'm sorry, it's just not utilizing it. Sorry guys. I don't know why I can't talk on this second half of this episode. And so I'm hoping this makes sense. You have so much in your control, your actions, your habits, your thoughts and your attitude, and that controls all outcomes. We just have to change what we focus on and choose to utilize it. It's a big difference.
0:30:53.9 Jared Hamilton: Okay. Last one. This is a big one. And this is the final weight loss truth that most people aren't ready to face. If you've been dieting for years, you most likely... I'm sorry, you are most likely taking your struggles to your grave unless you work with a really good coach. Here's the thing. I'm not saying you have to work with me or my team. I'm not saying you've got to do anything on that capacity, but I'm saying for the vast majority of you watching this, that if you've been struggling for years and decades, statistically speaking, you are more likely... Statistically speaking, psychologically speaking and physiologically speaking, you are more inclined to take your struggles to your grave unless you work with someone who can guide you to where you want to be.
0:31:34.8 Jared Hamilton: It's just the blatant fact. If you have been... Here's why. If you've been struggling for decades, years, years, and years or even decades with this yo-yoing, from a physiological side of things, every time you gain, lose, gain, lose, gain, lose, you're doing two things. You are, number one, damaging your metabolism. It's not good for your metabolic health. It's not good for your muscle tissue or anything like that. Then you're also building habitual negative momentum to sabotage because you're teaching your nervous system. As soon as I lose weight, something's going to happen. I'm going to gain it all back. As soon as I lose weight, something's going to happen. I'm going to gain it all back. So every time that you stay in this like bouncing, trendy diet, yo-yo bullshit, the longer that you try to like, I want to just try it on my own one more time and then you fail and struggle and feel defeated, the more likely you are going to continue to take your struggles to your grave.
0:32:20.0 Jared Hamilton: And again, this is not a fear tactic. This is not... I'm not trying to make it sound like a bigger deal than what it is, but I'm being totally honest with you. And this is a fact most people don't want to realize is that if you have been struggling for this long and it hasn't been happening for you and you are just like a walking struggle lesson, it has been years or even decades that this has not worked. You will more than likely take your struggles to your grave with you unless you work with someone who can get you to the other side. Because for most people, it takes a coach. It takes a third party, not just like an accountability partner, because here's the truth. You don't need just accountability. You need someone who has built a plan for you. That's going to undo the shithole that you dug yourself into.
0:33:01.0 Jared Hamilton: That's the whole point of coaching. It's why I coach. It's why I built a coaching companies because I love coaching. Coaching is quite literally the ultimate life hack to change your life in the fastest and most sustainable way possible. It's why in my personal life I've invested around $100,000 over the last, like, I don't know, five or 10 years into coaching myself because it changes my... It's changed my life. And it's why I love watching this with clients is because we'll take someone like we just did an episode with a client named Beth. It was coach Grant's client. She struggled for the past 20 years with binge eating and yo-yo dieting. And in six months she's completely good and graduated and doesn't need help ever again.
0:33:41.1 Jared Hamilton: That wouldn't have happened on her own. You should go back and listen to that episode and hear her story. So it's the final truth with all of this. And this is where it comes down to you. If you're okay taking your struggles to your grave, by all means go do what you want to do. If you want to risk it, by all means you do what you want to do. It's why I invest in coaching because I don't want to take my struggles to my grave. So again, this is not a hard pitch to push you to coaching. Of course, if you want to have that conversation, there will absolutely be a link in the description to where you can schedule a call to apply for coaching. And then we'll see if it's a good fit and then talk about potential options if you want. But whether it's with me, my staff, or any capacity, you more than likely need a level of coaching to get where you want to be. Just what psychology teaches us because the mind and nervous system crave what's most familiar.
0:34:29.3 Jared Hamilton: And for most of you struggle and yo-yoing is your familiar so you unconsciously drift there. So that's how to change your life is you work with someone who can get you on the other side and teach you and give you the skillsets to get there. That's why, again, coaching is the best, most ethical, the most sustainable life hack there is for anything you want to do. And that is it. That is it for today's episode. That is all of the weight loss truths that most people don't want to face. Coming in about 35 minutes. So not bad, not bad. Not quite like a normal hour long episode. I tried to keep it around a half hour. Now, if this was helpful, do me a couple of favors. Number one, be sure and subscribe wherever you're listening to the show at, iTunes, Spotify, wherever it doesn't matter. Be sure and subscribe to the podcast. It helps us a lot. If you can leave me a review, it would mean a ton to me for real.
0:35:17.7 Jared Hamilton: Also, my one ask is that you share this, because the thing is we need to get this podcast to more ears. And one of the best ways it's proven to do that is just share this. It's my one ask is if you get value out of this show, please just share it with someone, whether you send it to a friend or whether you post a screenshot on your Instagram story, whatever it is. I'm just asking you, if you would please share the show, it would mean the world to me, especially if you're getting value out of this. That's my one ask in return. But otherwise, depending on where you're at, I have a lot of resources in the description. If you aren't following me on my other socials, definitely follow me down there 'cause if you like this kind of content on your news feeds, definitely do that. If you don't have a home base to go to, if you don't have a place where you can go to to get help, to get training, to be around a bunch of like-minded people, I have an amazing Facebook community called Fat Loss Simplified. You can add yourself. I'll make sure you get accepted. And we do a lot of really cool trainings and things like that in there with some some of my best resources.
0:36:14.0 Jared Hamilton: Be sure and subscribe to the YouTube account, the YouTube channel where we have all of these interviews and podcast episodes uploaded there. And it's great. Oh, I also keep forgetting to tell you guys, we have the full blown podcast website, excuse me, out right now, go to dietingfromtheinsideout.com and we have basically all the things the podcast touches is right there in one spot where, sorry, I keep burping from the meal I just had before I filmed. We have everything right there from the every episode, all the interviews, the YouTube, the show notes now. So this way, if you would rather read your podcasts in like a blog fashion, instead of like watching or listening to a whole episode, we have all of that transcribed there, all the resources and links that I talk about in the show are going to be right there. So it's just a great spot to go to as a little hub that way everything's in one spot for you. It's dietingfromtheinsideout.com.
0:37:02.5 Jared Hamilton: And then finally, if you are tired of doing this on your own and you want help, you can apply for coaching in the link below. And because you're a podcast listener, I have a whole bunch of free stuff for you if you apply and get accepted and then we'll go from there. Otherwise, guys, I really appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I will talk to you next time.
[music]
Episode Synopsis:
#1 - Working out isn't therapy—therapy is therapy:
This triggers people every time I talk about it: working out is NOT therapy. Working out is therapeutic, but it’s not therapy—therapy is therapy.
I talk about journaling a lot; similarly, journaling is therapeutic, not therapy.
If you’re upset, think of it this way: therapy has an objective definition—like math class is math class. Things can be therapeutic, but that does not make them a replacement for therapy.
If I had a broken arm, but said “running is my doctor,” the running won’t do anything for the broken arm.
Going to the gym is a positive outlet, but oftentimes people I encounter who say working out is their therapy are actually using it as a suppressive tool.
Think of it this way: if you had a close friend, or a child, who had terrible anxiety, depression, food relationship issues, etc., would you tell them to “just go workout” because it’s just as good as therapy?
No, of course not.
Therapists go to school for years to be qualified to help others. Working out can be great for your mental health, but for people who call working out their therapy, it’s like their overeating, or their alcohol—again, it’s a suppressive mechanism.
People who go to the gym, work out really hard, and don’t leave space to think about their inner child issues, their trauma, or their anxiety, are using working out as a way to not deal with issues.
That’s what I mean when I say it’s a suppressive mechanism—it’s avoidance.
I am not saying that working out is bad for your mental health, I am saying it is not a replacement for therapy.
#2 - Your metabolism isn't slow, you just eat more than what you think:
This is the case for a lot of people.
Many people blame their age, thinking that their metabolism doesn’t run the way it used to, but in reality, your metabolism is most likely fine.
In our coaching program, one of the first things we do is work to fix people’s metabolisms. If you have been sticking to a low-calorie diet and not strength training for years, yes, your metabolism will be slower.
HOWEVER, most people are eating more than they think.
Again, we see this in coaching—you may think you are eating 1200 calories, but when you log every calorie, you find out that you ate 1200 calories for two days… and then the weekend hit.
If you tediously track every calorie you eat for the next month, you will realize that your metabolism is not slow, you are simply eating more than you think.
#3 - Nothing is wrong with your hormones, you just aren't consistent for even a few weeks:
This one really upsets a lot of people, but most people take this out of context.
I actually have hormone problems—my testosterone levels are low, about 300 when they should be 1000—but leading up to me getting my hormones tested and getting on TRT, I was consistent and my results still weren’t there. I went and got my hormones tested, started treatment, and things changed.
Most people saying their hormones are out of whack—and that’s why they aren’t losing weight—are not consistent.
We coach a lot of women, most middle-aged, about half of whom have issues like PCOS, Hashimoto’s, insulin resistance, are going through menopause, etc., but when they show up and are doing their part every day, they lose weight.
If you are consistent and your results are not happening, go get your hormones tested.
#4 - You saying you're an all-or-nothing person is just validating your bad behavior:
You have to understand that saying you’re an ‘all-or-nothing person’, is saying you’re not responsible for your own actions.
You are validating bad decisions.
Here’s an example: if you drop your phone and crack the screen, you keep using your phone, right? You don’t bash your phone with a hammer until it won’t turn on because “you’re an all-or-nothing person.”
If your car had one flat tire, you wouldn’t slash the other three tires.
You wouldn’t apply that ‘all-or-nothing’ philosophy across every area of your life. You are just using the excuse of being an all-or-nothing person when faced with something you struggle with.
#5 - You always saying you're going to “start over Monday” is lazy:
Along the same lines of being ‘all-or-nothing’, saying you’ll start over on Monday is lazy.
If it’s a Thursday afternoon and you overeat while you’re out with your friends, you can still go get your workout in, drink your water, do your journaling, etc.
You are always only ONE decision away from getting back on track.
#6 - You're spending way too much time fighting for your limitations:
This one is big. There is an old saying that goes, “if you fight for your limitations, then you can have them.”
We all have limitations, and we all have problems, but when you fight for them by saying things like “you don't understand, I grew up…” or “you don’t understand, my thyroid…” and you’re fighting for your limitations… you can have them.
When you fight for your limitations, you are taking steps to keep yourself from getting to where you want to be—and to validate those limitations.
Just because something is not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.
For example, when my wife and I bought this house, the first week we moved in, there was a water leak in the bathroom. That wasn’t my fault. The building inspector didn’t notice the leak—again, not my fault. There ended up being a water leak and guess whose house it is? Mine.
Now, imagine if I just left that leak…
You are spending so much of your bandwidth fighting for the reasons why you won’t make it. Imagine if you, instead, spent that time moving forward.
#7 - You're looking for reasons to fail and struggle—and that's why you're finding them:
We always get what we look for.
If you are always failing and struggling, it’s probably because you are looking for failure.
I have a YouTube video on the reticular activating system (RAS) that everyone should go check out for deeper insights into this topic, but, essentially, you have organs in your brain that show you what you’re looking for.
If you are looking for reasons why you won’t succeed, your brain will hide successes and give you data to validate your belief that you will struggle.
If you are consciously (or unconsciously) feeling like you are always struggling or always failing, you are probably looking for failure.
What you think about, comes about. On all levels, we get what we look for.
#8 - You aren't doing your best:
A lot of people don’t like this one.
I am not saying you have to max out every day, but chances are you are not doing your best.
If you are validating your bad behavior, not getting your habits in, always ‘starting over Monday’, etc., you are simply NOT doing your best.
#9 - If you know what to do but don't do it, you either don't actually know or don't actually care:
A lot of times I see this happen when someone will say they know they need to eat better—but they just don’t—and can’t figure out what their problem is.
For most people, they either just don’t care or their current reality doesn’t hurt bad enough.
You go to work, pay your bills, and brush your teeth—even when you don’t want to—because you know the alternative of not doing these things would hurt more.
I ask people on coaching calls all the time, “what is the alternative if you don’t move forward? What happens over the next decade?”
That’s when people get emotional.
You either know what to do and don’t care, are not aware of the negative consequences, or truly don’t know what to do.
#10 - You have so much more control than you realize, you're just choosing not to utilize it:
Most people look at their control in the wrong places—like outcomes.
You can’t control when the weight comes, how much weight you lose, how fast, how slow, etc. You CAN control your actions.
You can control your attitude and your thoughts.
A perfect example of this is this picture of a horse tied to a cheap lawn chair. The horse could easily break itself away from the chair, but it thinks it’s stuck because it doesn’t realize the control it actually has.
Your actions, habits, thoughts, and attitude are all in your control.
#11 - If you've been dieting for years, you're most likely taking your struggles to the grave unless you work with a really good coach:
I am not saying you have to work with me or my team. I am saying that—statistically speaking—psychologically, physiologically, if you have been struggling for years, you are more likely to take those struggles to your grave.
The more you yo-yo, the more your body learns that every time you lose weight, something will happen to gain it all back.
I am not trying to make this a bigger deal than it is—or push unwarranted fear—I just want you to understand that if you have been struggling long-term, you need someone who can provide you with a guide to get out of the hole you’ve dug yourself in to.
I love coaching because it’s the ultimate life hack. It's the most sustainable way to change your life. I personally have invested around $100,000 in the past 5-10 years on coaching and I credit a lot of my successes to it.
The mind and nervous system crave what’s familiar. If struggling and yo-yoing is what’s familiar, that’s where you will drift.
If you are okay taking your struggles to your grave, that’s fine.
If you want to change, I encourage you to look into coaching.
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