From Binger to Baker: How Heather Overcame DECADES of Struggles | DFIO Ep. 257
About Today’s Episode:
Welcome back to the show! I’ve got a really cool episode lined up for you! Here’s the thing—I know how difficult binge eating makes weight loss, so today I want to show you what’s possible and give you an actual case study on the topic of binge eating and overcoming binge eating.
We are going to be talking to an awesome client named Heather. Heather has completely 180’d her life. But this episode is going to give you more than just the before and after picture—you will also get takeaways that you can apply to your life.
Having a story that you can relate to makes such an impact and that’s why I got Heather, along with Coach Grant, on the show today. Let’s get into it!
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction & About Today’s Episode
02:31 Our Sponsors
04:56 Heather’s Story
19:55 How Heather Learned to Enjoy Weight Loss
25:54 Balancing Grace and Standards
29:59 What Made Heather Commit to Coaching?
35:03 What was the Hardest Thing to (Un)Learn?
42:38 Why Grant Thinks Heather has Been Successful
48:34 Final Thoughts From Heather
56:03 Jared’s Outro & How to Apply for Coaching
Transcript (click to expand)
Ep. 257 From Binger to Baker
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From Binger to Baker: How Heather Overcame DECADES of Struggles to Find Peace Around Food | DFIO Ep.257
0:00:00.0 Heather: I always thought that it was my fault. It was my fault that I was overweight, it was my fault that I gained weight, it was my fault that I couldn't lose weight. And it wasn't. And it isn't. It's what goes on up here—what goes on in your head is so strong and now I know whatever life throws my way, I'm going to be okay, because I'm okay.
[music]
0:00:27.0 Jared: What's going on team? Welcome back to another episode of Dieting From The Inside Out. I have a really, really cool episode ahead of you today, we are talking about specifically what I'm calling going from binging to baking. Because here's what I mean by that, I think binge eating... I know for a fact it can be so debilitating, so overwhelming, can consume your entire life, and it makes weight loss impossible. It just blatantly does. There's so many layers to binge eating, but at the end of the day, not only does it haunt your life and ruin everything, but it also will stop you from enjoying so many areas of your life and make losing weight not even possible for you.
0:01:04.8 Jared: Because every time you get ahead, binge eating brings you right back to square one. And I don't wanna just tell you how to get rid of binge eating, I want to obviously tell you that and that's what we're gonna do, but I wanna show you an example of what's possible in an actual case study of this, because here's my thing. I think being able to relate to someone's story is so powerful, and this is why people's stories can be so life-changing. And I wanna show you an amazing woman named Heather, and Heather is a client of ours, and Heather has gone through our program and has crushed it and done so well and gotten completely on the other side of all of her struggles. She has completely 180'd her life, it's why our program is called 180 Impact. But I don't...
0:01:44.3 Jared: My thing is this, I hate it when coaches like me just show the after picture or just show the transformation or just tell about the success story. But then they don't do a very good job at giving you the context behind it or hearing from the actual person or giving you tangible takeaways you can apply to your life. Don't get me wrong, I love a good before and after picture myself, excuse me, but I think it's way more helpful to show people the context, the story, the full picture in takeaways, that way anyone watching or listening can get a lot of value out of that that they can apply to their life, so that's what today's episode is about.
0:02:19.8 Jared: You're gonna see an amazing story, meet an amazing human named Heather. Coach Grant, myself and Heather are gonna be doing this three-way podcast and it's fantastic, and I know you're gonna get a lot of value out of it. So you wanna stick around for the whole thing. Now, some housekeeping before we get into that, big thank you to the sponsors of the show, sponsor number one is FlexPro Meals, because it just makes this whole game of unpredictable schedules and meal prepping and things like that so much easier and it saves you a lot of money. I use FlexPro almost every day, I always like having their meals on deck in my fridge at all times, this way, whenever schedules get unpredictable, whenever something happens, forget to make food, don't want the food we did make, they're just right there and they're made by a chef, they're calorie and macro-friendly, they taste amazing and they ship right to your front door, and it's cheaper than going through a drive-through, it's hard to get a better combination than that.
0:03:08.9 Jared: If you wanna check out what they got going on, go to either flexpromeals.com or you can go to the link in the description, and I have a link there, but I like saving people money. So if you want to use my code HamiltonTrained, you can save an additional 20% off at checkout, which is pretty legit. Then another big sponsor, 1st Phorm, big thank you to 1st Phorm, this is one of the few times I don't have on one of their shirts, I actually... If you're watching the YouTube I have on my Powerline shirt. For those... My fellow '90s kids, you get what I'm saying, Powerline, the best from The Goofy movie.
0:03:38.7 Jared: I love my '90s shirts. But anyway, big thank you to 1st Phorm, I have one of their energy drinks in front of me, if you're watching the YouTube. But anyway, you guys know I talk about it all the time, supplements are not the end-all be-all, but fuck, they do play an important role for so many people in filling gaps you are not getting with food. Because that's literally what they're for, they're not to replace food, they are to fill the gaps you're not getting with food, whether this be something like fish oil for your Omegas and inflammation, whether this be protein powder 'cause you're having trouble staying full while trying to lose weight, you're not getting enough through food or you're tired of chicken, whether it be a vitamin or a green supplement because you're not getting the five or seven servings of fruits and vegetables, things like that. So I just wanna make sure that your money is going to the best possible quality of products and things like that, here it's not being wasted, 'cause what most people do if we're being honest, they either go in to GNC or Amazon, they try to say, "Well, what would taste the least shitty? And what's the cheapest?"
0:04:32.8 Jared: The problem is, it's no wonder those supplements are not helping you, they're making your stomach hurt, and then you're not getting the results you're looking for, but 1st Phorm does things differently, it's why I partner with them. So you should definitely go check out the link in the description and they'll make sure you get taken care of and as always if you have questions, I'm always here for you. Now, without further ado, let's get into the show. If you're not subscribed, be sure and subscribe, otherwise, I will talk to you very soon. I think we are live... Not live, but we are hot, we are on.
0:05:00.9 Grant: Hot mics.
0:05:01.9 Jared: Hot mics, how are you? How are things?
0:05:04.3 Heather: Good, thank you.
0:05:05.9 Grant: Things are good in this neck of the woods.
0:05:07.3 Jared: I love it. Well, Heather, the reason I wanted to get you on, and I have known for months what I wanted to call this episode. I've wanted to call it Binger to Baker, [laughter] because that... I just think it sounds cool, and it's the epitome of what you've done with all of this. I'm curious, did you ever think these two worlds would come together with all the struggles with binging and food relationships? And now it's like, you bake every fucking day and have no problems with that at all. Did you ever think these two worlds would come together?
0:05:39.0 Heather: No, I never thought these two worlds would be at peace, and that's what I feel. I never thought that I would be able to lose weight and bake cookies and make money of it, and be able to lose weight at the same time, I never thought that peace with food would ever exist.
0:06:00.9 Jared: That's it. I've never thought about wording it that... I've always thought about food, freedom and relationship with food. But I feel like peace around food has an entirely different connotation to it, coming from someone who's understood how it is to be chaotic and uncertain and debilitated by food. You know what I mean?
0:06:19.9 Heather: Yeah.
0:06:21.9 Jared: So I'm curious for you, 'cause we'll just jump right in. How... Like to give context for those listening, where were things like before coaching, before you got to this peaceful state around food and weight loss? Give a little bit of back story around your journey before all this.
0:06:38.3 Heather: Sure, okay. So I've always been a heavier girl, a heavier person. I was one of those people back in high school, I thought I was so overweight, I called myself every name in the book, and so did other kids. And honestly, when I look back at those pictures, that's my goal weight.
[laughter]
0:06:58.2 Heather: I have been with Weight Watchers off and on since I was 12 years old. I was literally dropped off at the doors and my parents did the best that they could, I love my parents, and they did the best they could with the knowledge that they had. I've always struggled with my weight, and that's not something I don't think either one of them has ever struggled with at the level that I do and that I did. I've tried Weight Watchers, I don't know how many times I've done it, I've tried Atkins. I tried some SlimFast, I could never do intermittent fasting 'cause I get hangry and I will kill people.
[laughter]
0:07:50.3 Jared: Relatable.
[laughter]
0:07:52.2 Heather: Yeah. And I've always, always struggled with it. I've always thought about food. I would do the Monday to Friday extreme diet. I did the Shakeology one. I've tried everything. My last stop was before you guys, was at Noom, and what Noom did for me is it introduced the... the reason why it appealed to me initially is because they talked about... They do a very, very low key, very surface level of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Because I have been struggling with food my whole life. I know what to do. And so I thought, well, something's going on between the years. Noom didn't work, because it still labels food as good, bad, ugly—red, yellow, green. However, it did introduce the concept of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and just therapy in general, and introducing relationships to food, and it also got me on the train of the anti-diet culture and Jared, that's where I found you on TikTok and that's... And then I went down a rabbit hole and I'm like, this makes so much sense. And then I was in your group, Fat Loss Simplified, for quite some time. I watched all the YouTube videos, I watched all the TikToks. And then...
0:09:15.9 Jared: Yeah, boy. [laughter]
0:09:18.3 Heather: I was on one of your live shows and I put my name out there as to maybe I'll try it, and I think I won a discount or something like that, and then I talked to you about it, and I talked to my husband about it, and then I was introduced to Grant. And I firmly believe that you guys started me off not at a weight loss session, but just healing that relationship with food, and that's what has always been missing. I always thought that it was my fault. It was my fault that I was overweight. It was my fault that I gained weight, it was my fault that I couldn't lose weight. And it wasn't. And it isn't. It's what goes on up here. What goes on in your head is so strong and you have to get rid of all the ideas of good food versus bad food. For me, when I grew up, I was a food sneaker, so I would have to sneak food. Because again, food was good or bad. I was allowed to eat certain foods and I was not allowed to eat certain foods that other members of my family were allowed to eat. Again, love my parents, they did the best that they could with the knowledge that they had. Okay? But you guys introduced me to the fact that food is neither good nor bad, and that allowed me to realize that, I don't know, a chocolate bar is 250 calories, but for my entire life, 25, 30 years of Weight Watchers, of counting Richard Simmons' cards, that's how old I am.
[laughter]
0:11:04.8 Heather: On Weight Watchers, if you get, let's say, 27 points a day, a candy bar is seven points or six points.
0:11:14.5 Jared: It's ridiculous.
0:11:14.6 Heather: Well, that's half of your... That's half of my points almost. So what I learned was to sneak food 'cause that's what I had to do around the home. I was hungry, I was a child and I was hungry, so I'd eat crackers and I would eat things that wouldn't be noticed because I was hungry, and that was something that I struggled with. I feel like I'm going all over the place. I'm really sorry.
0:11:34.5 Jared: No, this is perfect, this is beautiful. Keep going. You're great.
0:11:36.6 Heather: Okay. So I learned that a chocolate bar is 250 calories. If I as a grown woman can lose weight consuming 2,000 calories, 250 calories literally means nothing. And before I met you guys, before I started the therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy, whatever, one of the jokes I would make was, the only thing that would stop me eating chips was the bottom of the bag. And that's how I used to be. That is not how I am now, and that's not how I have been for months and months and months.
0:12:23.9 Jared: Woohoo!
0:12:26.6 Heather: Yes, it's huge. I've learned tricks along the way. I get... I don't know if you guys have it in the States, In Canada, you can get a bag of small bags at the grocery store rather than one big family bag of chips. So I have those because if I wanna have Doritos and if I wanna have Cheetos, I can. And each bag is 150 calories, so it's 300 in total. But we also had a couple of weeks ago, a big family pack of chips, and I ate what I wanted and I put it back, so now that's not scary for me. Cookies aren't scary for me, I still have... I threw out Christmas cookies because they've been in my house. I threw out chocolate because, honestly, we have too much of it because I'm not eating it, and that's all because of the work that I've done with you guys in the group, with you guys in the private group and with Grant, and taking that time rather than run full steam ahead of, I'm gonna be perfect, I'm gonna do this, that and the other, I'll heal the relationship with food. I don't sneak food anymore, I'm not an emotional eater anymore.
0:13:44.8 Heather: And I don't... If I want a chocolate bar, I have the stupid chocolate bar, and I write it down and I move on. And if I over-indulge in one day, that's okay. The next day or that moment, whatever it may be, I go back to eating the way that I want to, not should, want to. And I don't penalize myself for it.
0:14:14.4 Jared: Holy shit, I feel like we should end the podcast on that. That was incredible. No, I'm serious, Heather, I don't think I could have said that any better. I don't think Grant could have said that any better. We are so proud of you and how good you've done. You have been what I would call a professional executor with this, because that's, in my opinion, what dictates so many people being successful with all of this stuff is there's a lot of people who listen and go, Okay, cool, and Okay, cool, and they... But executing and putting your actions together with... This is the hard work, anyone can drop their calories, anyone can go work out every day, anyone can do all that surface level diet culture bullshit every day for a little while. But what you've done is the really hard shit, fixing your relationship with food, fixing your relationship with yourself, taking a break from weight loss, 'cause like you said, when you started, we don't let people go right into weight loss 'cause it wouldn't have mattered. You know what I mean? It wouldn't have at all. So I'm curious for you, you said nothing worked up until... Actually, just for those listening to have full context, I know I'm not supposed to ask this, how old are you?
0:15:21.1 Heather: I am... I have to do the math.
[laughter]
0:15:24.8 Heather: 48.
0:15:31.1 Jared: I love it. I love it. That's amazing. 'Cause here's the thing, this is one of my biggest pet peeves in the industry, so many people who are 35, 45, 50, they think they're a lost cause, they think because they have decades of suffering and struggle behind... I was just on the phone with someone just literally right before this call, she just turned 55, it was just... It was one of our other clients. I was just touching base with her, she actually won one of the scholarships this last time, and it was the same thing, she's like, "I thought I was a lost cause. I tried everything and I thought it was too late. I thought because I was 55, my shit was broken and I couldn't be fixed." And I think a lot of people struggle with that. Did you ever feel like that because of any of those reasons, did you ever feel like it was too late for you?
0:16:16.7 Heather: No, I never gave up.
0:16:16.9 Jared: Good. I love that.
0:16:17.9 Heather: I never gave up. I took periods of time off, for sure, out of sheer frustration. I remember at one point in time with... Gosh, after I had my first son, I got up to not my all time weight, but a very, very high weight. And I joined Weight Watchers. I white-knuckled it. I... And this is another epiphany that I had. I white-knuckled it. I never enjoyed the process, I never enjoyed where I was. I lost 70 pounds in a year, and I remember never appreciating how hard I had worked, how far I had come. I always looked at where I was on that scale, and I always thought, I could do better. I shouldn't be here, I should be there. If only I had lost two more pounds, if only, if only, if only. And then I got pregnant with my second child. I had him, and I remember I was so angry 'cause I had gained weight. I was pregnant, every woman gains weight when they're pregnant. And I remember being so angry because I had to lose it all again. And I was angry for years, and I took it out on myself. And now I've come to realize that it doesn't matter what time goes by, you still have to deal with it in the present. It doesn't matter if you are 20 years old, 30 years old, 60 years old, your time is your time.
0:18:00.2 Heather: And how you choose to invest your time in yourself, how you choose to reflect on your time is up to you. Because you can be angry for a year at the weight that you're at, 'cause it's not fair, a year will go by regardless. You're still gonna be a year older. It's just like if you go to school and you're like, I wanna do this in school, but I'm gonna be in school for five years, five years is still gonna go by. It doesn't matter if you finish, take a program that finishes in three years or five years, it doesn't matter, it's the same as your age. You can sit there and be angry and miserable with yourself, angry at yourself. Time will still pass, you will still get older. It may take longer to lose, but that's okay, as long as you don't give up. And I never gave up, I got mad, but I never gave up. And I'm sure there are some women out there that can appreciate losing a significant amount of weight, regaining it through pregnancy, and be mad.
0:19:07.2 Jared: Sure.
0:19:07.3 Grant: Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
0:19:09.5 Heather: But one thing that I've learned this time is... Like I'm down 45-ish pounds. I'm floating between 45 and 50.
0:19:18.0 Jared: She says that so casually.
[laughter]
0:19:24.6 Heather: But I appreciate where I am because where I was last time, I would have said "I've only lost 45 pounds. I wanted to be at 50 pounds by now." And even if I was at 50 pounds, I would say to myself, "I've only lost 50 pounds. I should be at 55." Whatever I did wasn't good enough.
0:19:44.9 Grant: I think that was probably one of the best mindset shifts you made, honestly, along the way, was that being able to be present, being able to be happy in the moment.
0:19:53.4 Heather: Yes, absolutely.
0:19:55.4 Jared: So I have a question on that. I wanna stay in this, 'cause this is something that... It's one of my favorite things to ask most guests I have on, 'cause everyone's answer is a little bit different, and I think it's the key, I think this is one of the biggest keys to being successful with this, is where did that shift happen for you, but more specifically, how did you teach yourself to enjoy the process? 'Cause we have our ways, we'll have clients do and whatnot, but it's like there's the old saying, the man who loves to walk will walk further than the man who loves the destination. Then the question is, how do you become the man who loves to walk? I was talking on the last episode with Sal from Mind Pump about that. But for you, when you said that you've started enjoying the process, you've been able to recognize and stop should-ing on yourself and start really allowing yourself to feel and being happy about all these things, where did that shift happen? And what things have you changed on the day-to-day with those things, if that makes sense?
0:20:57.0 Heather: It does. Okay, that's a lot.
0:20:58.3 Jared: It's a lot, it's a lot. I know that.
0:21:02.1 Heather: That's a pretty big question. It's a lot. So I hope I answer it all. If I don't, whatever. But I think that it changed last summer, I was a few months in with Grant, and I was walking and I had... I was listening to music and whatever, and I was just thinking about the time and I was really enjoying the walk, and I remember walking and my goal was to walk to a certain spot 'cause everyone... When you're in your neighborhood, everyone has a route that they go on.
0:21:33.8 Grant: Yep.
0:21:34.5 Heather: And I remember I was just feeling good. I don't remember how much I was down. Honestly, I don't, but I just remember thinking, "I'm feeling good." And so I continued walking. And then I continued walking, and I continued walking. Until finally, I'm like, "I have to go to the bathroom. I should probably wind my way home, but I really could continue to walk." And that's when it kind of shifted that I was in the moment, I wasn't figuring out, "I need to get to the end goal. I need to get my walk in, kinda like wait. I'm comparing the two." Okay? I wasn't thinking about, I need to go for a walk, I need to hit that lamp post down there, because then I know by the time I double back, it's exactly 2 kilometers, 'cause God forbid, I should go 2.1 kilometers. And I need to get there in this time, and that's how it started was I just was enjoying the music, I was enjoying the scenery, I was walking my new dog, and I just was in the moment. And it gave me time to think, it gave me time to breathe.
0:22:44.7 Heather: And I'm like, "Let's continue on. I have the time. And let's continue," and to me, that was the parallel of I have the time in life every day, I have hopefully the time in life in years, let's continue on. Because either I can torture myself of, I'm never good enough, I'm never losing the weight fast enough, I'm eating too much, I'm eating too little, I'm... Perfection is an illusion and it'll drive you insane, and it's the same with exercising to me. Just do it, just take the time, enjoy it. And with... I don't know. I don't know if that makes sense.
0:23:34.2 Jared: That's exactly what I was asking. That's perfect, it's beautiful. Heather, you should start your own podcast if we're being real. This is... You have such amazing insight in the way that you articulate, you should literally just start your own podcast. [laughter]
0:23:47.4 Grant: I agree.
0:23:51.5 Heather: Thank you.
0:23:51.6 Jared: That's funny. I love it. Grant, so I'm curious from your perspective, 'cause one of my favorite things to do right now is, I wanna hear out of Heather's brain, but then I also like to hear about it, and I think it helps everyone listening from all the different sites, 'cause I just wrote an email on this. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people like me, like other coaches, all they do is talk about their client stuff, but my thing is like I would rather hear it from the person. That's just how I would rather hear it. I wanna hear it out of their mouth, but then I also think there's a lot of value hearing it from the coach's end too. So for you, where do you feel like it started to shift for her? 'Cause that's what I think is most fascinating is some people, it's all at once. It's like an epiphany moment. Some people, it's like watching your hair grow, and it's like, Oh, I just... One day I just realized I hadn't struggled in three months or whatever. So from, Grant, your perspective, where did this start to change for her?
0:24:47.7 Grant: Yeah. Well, so Heather, I very vividly remember whenever you sent me the email about you going on the walk, and that's when I think that it definitely got solidified in your mind, but I definitely was seeing it a lot more before that, and to kind of just take everything that you said, I would expand that to everything. I think that the big kind of pivotal moment for you is once you start, not saying that you were a negative person, but once you just started to exude that positivity, once you really started to find that true happiness in the moment with what you're doing, and I think that a lot of that came from us just through a lot of the things that we did, unlearning a lot of things, realizing for example, that yeah, let's just... Hey, a candy bar is a candy bar. And I think that through that, a lot of it changed, but I think the big thing was once you started to find that positivity in literally any and all situation, right? Yeah, we went over on calories, so what? It doesn't matter. Yeah, we maybe didn't get in a workout today. That's okay. Again, it's finding the positivity in the moment. I think that from my perspective, leading up to that, that was one of the biggest shifts in you.
0:25:52.0 Jared: I love that. Heather, from your perspective, I'm curious, how do you balance? To piggyback off of what Grant just said, I call that the dichotomy of grace in standard or disciplines where it's like having the grace of, "It's fine, I missed the workout, I'm gonna get back on track," or "You know what? I'm gonna not beat myself up," but most people have the huge struggle between giving themselves grace, but then also having discipline and standards, 'cause you can argue they're polar opposites, but we have to have both, and you seem to have a really beautiful grasp on that dichotomy of grace and standards. So for you, how do you navigate both of those?
0:26:35.2 Heather: It's sometimes a struggle, I'm not gonna lie. I used to be an all or nothing person, and sometimes those old thoughts do creep up into my head, and when they do... Again, one thing that I've learned is just to sit with the emotions, so whatever is driving me to feel the opposite of grace, it's usually for me something deep down that's bubbling around, that is usually a negative icky emotion, and I just sit with it just for a few minutes and I just feel it and I let it wash over me, if you will. And then I remember, it's okay, this is just a moment in time. It'll pass. I don't have to be perfect. There's no such thing as perfect. I also can't allow myself to say, "Well, I don't feel like it. So therefore, I don't have to." It is a slippery slope to keep yourself accountable, I do think that having someone, having Grant to report back to is really important, and I also think the spreadsheet that I fill out on a daily basis is incredibly important, it's almost like a checklist, like a to-do list, if you will. So that is part of it as well.
0:28:09.8 Jared: I love that. That's so beautifully said. Grant, from your perspective, I don't think I've ever asked you this, from the coaching standpoint, when someone, especially has a default, like Heather, we've talked about, your natural... Because of your childhood and because of your previous struggles, your default is to go what I call on the side of self-deprecation and too much, too intense, too all or nothing, 'cause I think that's a big piece of it, but how does one start to learn to balance that dichotomy of grace and standards, because each of them independently are not sustainable on their own. If you're only discipline and no grace, well then your life sucks, but if you're only grace and no discipline, well, that leads to laziness and to weight gain and to never accomplishing anything. So from your perspective, how do you teach that? What do you think?
0:28:56.5 Grant: So I think the best way that I can explain that it's figuring out and establishing what self-love actually is, because I think that a lot of people don't necessarily have a good grasp on that, they think that self-love is pushing themselves to the extreme on either end, self-love is to love yourself enough to eat whatever you want and not give a shit about certain things, self-love is on the other end, working out seven days a week and two hours a day doing everything to the extreme. So I think that a lot of that boils down to getting a firm, established understanding of what it actually means to love yourself, because again, it's... Loving yourself is allowing yourself to have this, loving yourself is also allowing yourself to work out and call yourself out on bullshit and not let yourself negatively self-talk. So I don't know if I did a good job of really articulating that, but from my perspective, I think the best thing that I can say for that is, it's legitimately figuring out what self-love is.
0:29:56.6 Jared: That's good, I love that, I love that. So I'm curious, for you, when it came to all this, and I always like to ask this 'cause everyone's perspective is different, things get really real when it comes time to invest in yourself, especially financially, so for you... For you, what made you get to the point where you're like, "Okay, I want to invest in myself monetarily."? 'Cause again, everyone... It's like the old saying goes, only people who pay, pay attention or take things really seriously in a lot of cases. So for you, what made you decide to invest in yourself to go, "Okay, this is it, I need to get help."
0:30:34.6 Heather: Well, it was quite a few things, if you will, jumbled up together. Weight Watchers is not cheap, Especially Weight Watchers for 30 years. How much have I paid to Weight Watchers on their meetings, on their products, on everything? I've paid a ton of money for it, and I developed horrible relationships with everything. I learned through... Because I did end up taking the Cognitive Behavior Therapy further with an actual therapist.
0:31:14.3 Jared: Nice.
0:31:16.0 Heather: That was an investment in myself, and it made me realize I can only do so much, I can only use the tools that I have in my toolbox. I am not an expert, I don't know everything. And that in turn turned to you guys. I've tried everything in my mind, and I'm like, "No, if therapy worked, if therapy introduced the concept, they lay the groundwork, if you will, to me being open to looking even at a relationship, the messed up relationship I had with food, why wouldn't I be open to going to you guys?" Because you guys are weight loss, but you're also working on the mind, dieting from the inside out. So it was an investment in myself, I was on a journey, it was a long journey. I'm gonna say that it probably took a couple of years before I even opened the door to you guys, but I am worth it, we thankfully are in a financial position where I could afford it, and I have a very supportive husband.
0:32:33.4 Jared: I love that.
0:32:34.9 Heather: And I can't take the money with me. I was on the road to living a shorter life. Physically and also mentally, there was a huge burden to live with the struggle, the constant struggle with food. You can't stop eating, you have to learn how to live with it, you have to learn how to eat food but in moderation. And to me, that was worth it.
0:33:09.1 Jared: Absolutely. It's funny, you said three things that really stuck out to me. Number one was you have a lot to lose, like when you said you were on a track to a shorter life, I think people quite literally don't realize what's at stake if they stay stuck. You know what I mean? The second thing you said was that, you're worth it. I think, 'cause I agree with you 1000%, and I think a lot of people struggle with this sense of unworthiness, and it's almost this view of because they don't view themselves as worthy, they don't think they should invest in themselves, but I think investing, especially financially in yourself, and I'm not even meaning just in coaching, again, like in your therapist or in a gym membership or whatever, someone, whoever's listening to this their thing is, I think it's the point where you're proving to yourself you have value because you're putting something you value into it. I think it makes it really real. I think we live in a place where everyone says affirmations in the mirror and they're like, "Yes, I'm good enough, I'm worth it, I'm deserving," but when it comes time to quite literally put their money where their mouth is of...
0:34:07.5 Jared: "You know what, I'm so worth it. I'm gonna invest this thing that I value a lot, which is money, into it." I think that's where there's this big disconnect. And then the third thing that you said was that, food isn't going anywhere. Like that, it's gonna be here forever. This is why I hate it when coaches and people say, "Oh, it's just fuel." I'm like, "You're a fucking idiot if you think it's just fuel." And if we don't fix it now, it will haunt you 'til you die.
0:34:33.0 Heather: Yeah, it's the same as people saying, "It's just calories in versus calories out." I'm sorry, that's BS. It's not, it's not that easy, because if it was that easy, then no one would be overweight, no one.
0:34:50.5 Jared: Yeah. It definitely gets deeper, just telling you with the issues that you had prior, like just say, "Oh, just eat less, move more." Like, okay, technically, maybe. But there were so many more layers we had to work through first. You know what I mean? For you, what was the hardest thing to unlearn?
0:35:06.0 Heather: The hardest thing for me to grasp was that I can eat what I want and be okay with it, I was gonna be okay, as long as I write it down. For me the biggest thing, and every once in a while I write Grant, and I'm like, "Oh, I ate food." "I think you'll wanna write it down." And then 20 minutes later, sometimes two hours later, I write it down. So for me, that is the biggest thing of being accountable and eating what I wanna eat and realizing I can have a cookie and I have not messed up my day, I have not messed up my week, I have not messed up anything. So for me, that was the biggest thing, is just coming to peace and realizing that a 100 calorie snack thing, that's fine. You can eat a 100 calorie snack, and you can have a cookie every damn day if you want, you can have dessert every day if you want. And also, you can pass on things if you want. The world will never run out of Oreos, you don't have to eat an Oreo just because it's there. But if you wanna eat it, eat it, and coming to peace with that.
0:36:30.6 Heather: Again, pre you guys, food would call my name. I could never have any snacky type of things, anything that I struggled with in the house, because it would literally call my name. I could tell you, I could itemize to you what I had in my pantry. Now my pantry is so full of things that are expired.
0:36:55.0 Jared: Wow.
0:36:56.1 Heather: Because they don't call my name, because I know I've given myself permission to eat what I want when I want in what quantity I want. Because I've given myself that permission, it's no longer bad food, it's no longer naughty food, it's no longer, I don't know, the forbidden fruit if you will. So taking that aspect away has helped. We went to Florida, my family had ice cream, I didn't have the ice cream, and it's not that I was denying myself ice cream, I just honestly didn't want it. So why am I gonna eat it? I know it's there. I can get ice cream any time I want. I got ice cream at a different place because I wanted it, but I just didn't feel like it, and I was okay.
0:37:49.0 Grant: I still have that screenshot, whenever you sent that to me, that was a big moment.
0:37:52.7 Heather: It was. Now I did have the gelato. There's one place...
0:37:55.5 Grant: Yep.
[laughter]
0:37:57.4 Heather: It was my favorite.
0:37:57.4 Grant: That place looks so good too. That's incredible.
0:38:00.9 Heather: It's so good. I've been going there since I was a little girl. So that one I definitely indulged in. But again, kind of like a Blizzard, whether you have the big Blizzard, little Blizzard, it doesn't matter. You don't have to eat all of the Blizzard. You can put it back in your freezer. Just eat until you're satisfied and it's okay.
0:38:22.3 Grant: Yep. And you can go on vacation. You can enjoy yourself. You can have fun. And it doesn't do anything.
0:38:28.6 Heather: No.
0:38:29.6 Jared: I love that. I love that. You know, and I think the thing people listening need to really take home the fact is that you've been doing this while losing all the weight. I think people... Like the biggest hesitation when teaching this that I hear people say is right around now, they go, "But, Jared, you don't get it. I need to lose weight though. I don't have time to do this other stuff like the fixed food relationships. I'm in a hurry." Which I have my own issues with that 'cause it's like you can't have one without the other. But you managed to do this while losing all of the weight and getting to where you want to be. They all go hand in hand.
0:39:07.9 Heather: Yeah. I lost weight going to Disney World. I went to Disney World while I was with you guys and I've been down to Florida once more. We had money 'cause of COVID with flights and stuff. So that's how we were able to go, 'cause it got stuck in the bank. So off to Florida we go twice.
[laughter]
0:39:28.4 Heather: But I have managed to lose weight both times on vacation because, and that's without tracking, it's intuitive eating when I do that, because I don't eat like a jerk.
0:39:44.4 Grant: I always try to tell people too, and I think that you're really... Hopefully that now resonates with people, but I always tell people that once you get the headspace side of things under wrap, once you get that side of things taken care of, I don't wanna ever say anything is easy, but the weight loss component is very simple. Once food has no power over you anymore, this whole thing becomes, again, I don't wanna ever say easy, but it becomes very simple.
0:40:12.0 Heather: No, it does. For me, and that's why I said saying calories in versus calories out is BS, because for me, for some people maybe it is, but for me and for other people like me that have been struggling with their weight for their whole life that have over 100 pounds to lose, it's not calories in versus calories out. The struggle's up here, it is 100% up here. Everyone knows what to do, no matter what, everyone knows what to do. It's what's up here. And you have to heal your relationship first with the food. Because when I was with Weight Watchers and I lost the 70 pounds, I was angry and I never appreciated where I was. Did I lose the weight? Yes, I did. And I gained it all back because I never came to peace with me. I never came to peace with food and I was just angry and frustrated the whole time. And I never sat with my emotions. I never sat with where I was and appreciated where I was. And it's completely different.
0:41:27.1 Jared: Absolutely. Well, that's the thing, food is more than... I'm sorry, weight loss is more than physical, right? Like when people say just calories in calories out, food is just fuel, just buckle down and do your thing, like that's assuming everything is based in just physical, that means there's no mental component, there's no emotional component, there's no childhood conditioning component, there's no psychology around food component. There's no binge eating component. There's no fucked up intuition component. But like those six things, and there's more, that was just off the top of my head, are everything. Like our weight loss is based in our emotions and how we feel and meanings we've attached. And like I made a post yesterday that pissed off some people, which is fine. It was my intuitive eating post. I said, here's why intuitive eating is keeping you struggling. And it was basically, I said like, "It's not that intuitive eating is bad, but you're not ready for it." Like your intuition is what's making binge eating sound like a good idea. But we have to... Like that's a high-level skillset. So for just all these Instagram fit posts to say, "Just intuitively eat, your body just knows." I'm like, "No, it doesn't. Not when you've been fucking in Weight Watchers since you were 12 and struggling for decades," you know?
0:42:35.8 Heather: No, absolutely.
0:42:37.6 Jared: Grant, why do you think she's been so successful? This is one of my favorite questions to ask, but why do you think Heather's been so successful? 'Cause we're talking like in under a year, like shifting like decades worth of bullshit, right? So why from the coach's perspective has she been successful?
0:42:57.2 Grant: Yeah, I feel like I always have the same kind of answer to this, so I think a number of things. I think number one, you did an excellent job of being able to let go of the outcome, right? You were able to just hone in and focus on the present moment. But the one thing that I will say, and I joke with people on this because I have people that I work with that accomplish so much, so much. And then there's also the other end of the spectrum with that, and the information that I give, how we go about things, yes, it's gonna be very individual given the situation, I 100% understand that. But the information that I present people with, what I have them do, so on and so forth, is largely the same. What separates people that get crazy good results that ultimately change the course of their life, the outcome of their life, all those great things, it's the action takers, right?
0:43:45.1 Grant: So you are an action taker, you know? I mean, hell, so many moments where you were like, "Ah, man, I don't wanna do this." I mean, it's not like you had... I mean, hell, there were so many highs and lows. I mean, not every day was a good day, but you still showed up for yourself. And that's what it takes, right? And again, that is always gonna be my answer to that. That is always gonna be the thing that separates those that get their dreams, those that ultimately achieve that and those that don't. It's those that can take action. Because again, the information that I give people, sure, there are gonna be specifics given the situation, but it's largely the same, right? So it's then the question is, well, why is it that some people are able to get such crazy good things from it and some people aren't? It's because you're an action taker.
0:44:27.1 Heather: Yes, I am. I've always been that way in some aspects, but having the support from you and from the two groups that you have, the one that is private and the one that's public, is instrumental in that as well. Having a cheerleader in your corner cheering you on has helped me so immensely on a personal level and also on a business level. I'm doing very well with my baking business.
0:44:58.3 Jared: Yeah...
0:44:58.9 Heather: We're actually... It's kind of a, you know, our sewer backed up into our basement. Not fun.
0:45:06.4 Jared: No...
0:45:07.6 Heather: Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. But it is providing us an opportunity that we're going to put a kitchen in the basement.
0:45:15.5 Jared: Let's go.
0:45:16.6 Heather: So making lemon out of lemonades, right? I'm sorry, lemonade outta lemons. That's it... Anyway, so...
[laughter]
0:45:24.8 Heather: But I never would have believed in myself. Ever, ever without you Grant allowing me the possibility to dream and to believe in myself. So that has been huge. The other thing is, and I go back to the emotions, learning as uncomfortable as it is and was to sit with my emotions and just sit with them and process them, sometimes in my head, a lot of times journaling, I struggle with my journal. I'm gonna get that. But Grant's always like, "Journal it, write a letter," and I do. But I sit with it, and again, through the, I guess cheerleader, rah, rah, rah, just embracing what you're saying, doing what you're telling me to do, being open to things that make me feel uncomfortable at times, the uncomfortableness is becoming less and less every time, the emotions are becoming deeper and less scary. I learned how to, 'cause I used food to mask my emotions, especially the tummy achy emotions, the bad ones. I now have labels for them.
0:46:46.9 Heather: I can now tell you what despair feels like. I can tell you what heartbreak feels like. I can tell you all of those things. But I can also tell you that I have sat with those emotions, I have embraced those emotions and I have risen from it. And I didn't collapse, I didn't crumble and I'm stronger, and I know that I'm gonna be okay and I know that I am okay. And I think that has lifted me up. Before I would avoid those feelings with food, I would mask it 'cause food makes you feel better. Food makes you feel... The chocolate, the chips, it's yummy. So that's the emotional part, but it's just a mask, it's a bandaid. And I've learned deep down stuff and now I know whatever life throws my way, I'm going to be okay because I'm okay.
0:47:50.0 Jared: That's so powerful. I think, 'cause this is a thing I think most people forget and you've, dare I say mastered and done so well with, is that you change the fundamental character traits of who you are. I've said it for years that if you only lose weight, and that's the only thing that happens if you lose weight, you tone up, your clothes fit better and nothing else in your life changes, you did it wrong. But when you change the character of who you are, the way you think, the way you process emotions, the way that you think, and then ironically, you lose weight because of those things, everything else in your life changes. That's how to lose weight the right way. And you've done that. That's fucking incredible.
0:48:27.3 Heather: Thank you.
0:48:28.6 Jared: Now, so this is why like binger to baker people, [laughter] like this is what I'm talking about. What would you say, I'm curious, what would you say as we wrap up here, what would you say to someone is where you were, who feels lost, who feels hopeless? Like who feels like, fuck, I've... Like when you told your story, they're like, "That's me, that's me, that's me," 'cause I know for a fact whenever like that happens, like I know for a fact that there'll be hundreds and thousands of people when you were telling your story, their head was nodding. They would go, "I started Weight Watchers when I was a kid. My parents didn't know what they were doing even though they meant well, I've tried that, I've done that." What would you say to that person right now?
0:49:10.1 Heather: I would say first of all, forgive yourself. Give yourself grace. You will learn what grace is. It's gonna be okay. You have done your best. You have done the best with the tools that you have in your toolbox. Now it's time to turn to you guys to ask for help because you have tools that I didn't have. And you're going to ask them to do things that will make them feel uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, but if they're in the same position as me, they have probably been avoiding certain emotions and certain situations for a very long time. And you will be overwhelmed because you are dealing with emotions that you have not felt since you were probably a child. You've been avoiding these emotions for 25, 30 years or however long it's been, and you just have to sit with them, journal with them or sometimes literally I sit and I just feel it and let it wash over you.
0:50:21.5 Heather: And every time you get that emotion, it will become less and less and less overwhelming. Because when you do feel those negative emotions, it is overwhelming and it's scary. And sometimes it's debilitating at times. Just trust the process and embrace it. You guys know what you're doing. If I knew what I was doing, I would have figured it out 30 years ago. I didn't know what I was doing. I knew what I was doing up to a point, but I knew that I was missing the headspace part. And that for me is the biggest part that you guys offer, is help with the headspace, help with whether you're an emotional eater, whether you're a binger, whatever, even if you're an emotional and a binger, which is what I think I was, it will be okay. The time will pass. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to get to that moment of time of healing your relationship, just take your time, process it, you will get there, but you have to believe in it and you have to do the stuff even when you don't want to. I remember when Grant's like, "I need you to send pictures." And I'm like, "I do not wanna send you pictures. I do not." So you have to, I did it, I do it in a bathing suit where I'm comfortable. You can still see the change. Just do it.
0:51:45.9 Jared: That's amazing. You have like... Heather, you have the most amazing energy ever. I swear I can feel every word you say, which is absolutely incredible. Yeah. That's amazing.
0:52:00.1 Heather: Thank you.
0:52:01.6 Jared: That's awesome. Grant, do you have any final thoughts with all of this? I know it's hard to top that.
0:52:05.5 Grant: Yeah, I know. I don't know if I can even say anymore. No, I mean, again, I think that it's just one of those things where I wish the... I've always, you know, joked with people, I wish that there was a way to like share experiences. Like I wish that we could literally, like Heather, I wish there was a way for you to like, take that experience and just transfer it to others. And I think that with that guys, if you want to have that kind of a realization, if you want to have that kind of a life altering experience, and I'm not even saying with coaching, but just take a chance with yourself, right? Do the uncomfortable work for a long period of time, and I promise you, you will like the outcome. I promise you, you will like what's on the other side of this stuff. And again, it's one of those things where there's no way to actually articulate what it feels like to change your life unless you've done it. I've personally done it and I couldn't explain that to someone. Heather, you've done it and you know, there just probably aren't the words to actually articulate how that feels. But it's just one of those things, guys, take a chance with yourself.
0:53:05.2 Jared: It's like trying to describe color to a blind person, is the way that I think about it.
0:53:07.5 Grant: Exactly. Yeah.
0:53:08.9 Jared: You know? I love it. Now Heather, here's the big question. Do you wanna plug your, I don't know if you ship your baking stuff, do you wanna plug your baking goods? So if someone wants to support you in those endeavors... I don't even know if you ship stuff or if it's all local or not.
0:53:25.6 Heather: I don't, I don't ship stuff yet. I am not licensed yet.
[laughter]
0:53:31.8 Heather: I just...
0:53:33.1 Jared: It's fine. It's fine.
[laughter]
0:53:35.3 Heather: Don't turn me in. But definitely check me out. I'm gonna say come Christmas 2023, I will have my kitchen in.
0:53:45.7 Jared: Let's go.
0:53:45.9 Heather: I will be licensed by that point in time. My name on Facebook is SugarCubedCreations. You might have to look up SugarCubedCreationsCanada. But that is my name. That's my name on Instagram. SugarCubedCreations and you will find me there. But no, I don't ship just yet.
0:54:06.9 Jared: Yet, but...
0:54:07.6 Grant: The second that you are up and running, I'm getting some of those shark cookies. Those are so cool.
[laughter]
0:54:13.4 Jared: That's amazing. I love it.
0:54:14.4 Heather: Thank you. Yeah, they were really awesome.
[laughter]
0:54:16.0 Jared: That's amazing. No, I was gonna ask, even if you aren't like to drop your handle and stuff that way for if and when that time does come that, that way people can find you. 'Cause the dope thing with the podcast is this is evergreen, this is not going anywhere, and usually when someone finds the podcast, they listen to all episodes.
0:54:36.0 Heather: Yeah. Just don't turn me in, give me some time, I'm working on it. I'm just a mom. I'm a mom of weekends.
0:54:45.6 Jared: Let's go.
0:54:45.7 Heather: And I'm making cookies that are low risk baked items. So I'm not killing anyone. I'm not working with meat, not working with cheese. I'm making cookies. And I'm working on it. We're just in the process of finishing the basement after... Yeah, it's sewage. That was so fun.
0:55:02.0 Grant: I bet.
0:55:03.0 Heather: But...
[laughter]
0:55:05.0 Grant: That was another moment in our journey too, where you just did an excellent job getting through that, right? That was hella stressful. But you did a great job getting through that.
0:55:13.3 Jared: I love that.
0:55:13.7 Heather: It was awful.
[laughter]
0:55:16.3 Jared: Man, this...
0:55:16.6 Heather: And now we're in the fun part.
0:55:17.7 Jared: That's right.
0:55:17.8 Grant: Now we're in the fun part. Absolutely.
0:55:18.5 Jared: Now the fun part begins.
0:55:19.6 Heather: Yeah.
0:55:20.1 Jared: This has been easily, and I don't say... You guys can listen to all my episodes. I very rarely say this. This has been one of my favorite interviews. This has been...
0:55:27.2 Heather: Well, thank you.
0:55:27.3 Jared: This has been spectacular. Well, I appreciate both of you guys coming on here. Heather, thank you for being so open and sharing your journey but also your childhood and your experiences. 'Cause I know for a fact this is gonna help hundreds of thousands if not millions of people. So, I really, really appreciate that and I know those listening appreciate it as well.
0:55:49.1 Heather: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on. I really appreciate it and thank you for creating the community that you have.
0:55:55.3 Jared: I love it. Awesome. Well, I will talk to both of you guys very soon.
0:56:00.5 Grant: All righty. See you guys.
0:56:00.8 Heather: Thanks. Bye.
0:56:02.0 Jared: And we are back. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Dieting From the Inside Out. I know if you stuck around for the whole thing, you got a lot of value out of this and I hope this just gave you hope and a few things that you could take away to apply to your life to get on the other side of your binge eating and all of your weight loss struggles. And also definitely go give Heather a follow on her Instagram and whenever she's able to start shipping cookies, you should absolutely go order some from her. She's an amazing human and yeah, you should definitely do that. Now before you go, I do have a few things down in the description, a few things for you. Number one is if you have not already subscribed to the show and left us a review, be sure and do that, it helps out more than you know.
0:56:42.4 Jared: If you got a lot of value from this, please share this with someone. We put a lot of time, energy, effort and money into this show just to help you. And it would mean the world if you either sent this to someone who you think needs it that could really benefit from the story, or even share it on like your Instagram Story. Those things help out more than you know, and I really, really appreciate it. Now, if you are struggling and you are stuck and you are where Heather was, so to speak, and you are just having the hardest time, you've been struggling for decades, nothing seems to work, you binge eat, you struggle with all these different things and you want the kind of help Heather got where she was able to turn around her decades of struggle in just a handful of months, it's the most amazing thing ever, if you want that and you wanna get the help and get the clarity and get the plan, the blueprint and get held accountable, you should absolutely go apply for coaching at the link below.
0:57:30.4 Jared: First of all, applying through the podcast, you'll go straight to the front of the line because we can only take on a certain amount of people per month in terms of clients to ensure quality is there for everyone. And this way you'll get bumped to the front of the line, but also if you apply through the podcast, you're going to get, if assuming you get accepted into coaching, you're gonna get about $4,000 worth of free stuff. And I'll just say that like you are quite literally getting thousands of dollars worth of extras that people have paid a lot of money for, and I know you'll get a lot of value on those, 'cause I just wanna say thank you and reward action takers. And if you sit here and listen to me talk on the podcast, you have a very special place in my heart. So if that's you and you want that kind of help and to have the results like Heather because you have not been able to get it on your own, you should absolutely apply for coaching. That way we can see if this is even a good fit and assuming it is, that way we can show you what the program looks like, make sure your expectations are on point, and then answer any questions you have. Then we could talk about potential options, what that would look like. Now, if that's not you and you're like not even sure where to get started, you're not sure if coaching's the right fit or not, I would definitely go through some of my other free stuff I have below as well.
0:58:33.9 Jared: I have a free course that's gonna give you the A to Z's of weight loss. It's called the Fat Loss Checklist. It's gonna make everything simple for you. But if you don't have a home base, if you don't have a spot where you can go to to get loved on, to get support, to get help, to get your questions answered, to get inspired, things like that, you should absolutely join my free Facebook group. It's called Fat Loss Simplified. And that's all we do in there is make fat loss so simple and doable and where the results like actually stick this time. That's what I teach. If you like this kind of content, you'll love the content in that group. I'll leave a link below where you can join. I think that's it. Trying to think if there's anything else.
0:59:06.2 Jared: If you're not following me on my other socials, my TikTok and Instagram, absolutely do that. Definitely go check out the podcast website if you have not, it's dietingfromtheinsideout.com, because we have all the show notes. We have the entire, every, all the episodes including this one transcribed in a blog format. So if you would rather read through this or skim through it, you can. But yeah, and be sure and also subscribe on YouTube because we have all the episodes there as well. Otherwise, thank you so much for tuning in. I appreciate the fuck out of you. I'll talk to you next time.
[music]
About Heather:
Heather never thought that she would find peace with food—or be able to lose weight while being a baker.
Before she started coaching and found her peace with food, Heather struggled with her weight and self-perception. Heather says that she was always a bigger girl—even back in high school she saw herself as being very overweight and beat herself up about it. Now, looking back at those pictures, her high school weight is her goal weight.
Heather had been on and off of Weight Watchers since the age of 12. Weight has always been a struggle for her and, at the time, her parents did the best they could for her with the knowledge that was available to them, but neither of them had ever struggled like Heather.
Before finding Jared on TikTok, Heather tried many different diets/fad diets. After seeing Jared’s content she joined his Fat Loss Simplified Facebook community and continued to take in Jared’s content—eventually deciding to start full-on coaching.
After starting the program, Heather learned that it was not her fault she struggled to lose weight—she learned about how powerful your mind and beliefs are when it comes to weight loss. She learned that foods weren’t ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
She no longer had to sneak foods like when she was a child because the labels were gone.
Being able to learn about the calorie content of foods, healing her relationship with food, and going through therapy has helped Heather stop her binge eating habits. She used to joke that the only thing that would stop her from eating a bag of chips was the bottom of the bag, but now she doesn’t think like that and is able to eat what she feels is appropriate and put the rest away.
Heather has learned tricks to help her portion her foods—she has even had to throw things like cookies and chocolate away because she is not eating as much of those foods as she used to.
She is no longer an emotional eater—and when she does overindulge, she is able to go back to eating the way she wants to eat and she doesn’t punish herself.
Jared and Grant both find that Heather has been a ‘professional executor’ when it comes to the coaching program. Heather was able to let go of her desire to lose weight and focus on the hard part of fixing her relationship with food first.
Jared has found that many people who are 35/45/50+ believe they are a lost cause because they have decades of struggles. Heather is 48 and has changed her life.
One thing Heather never did was give up. She took breaks, sure, but she always kept trying.
At one point, after Heather had her first son, she got up to a very high weight and joined Weight Watchers. She white-knuckled through it and lost 70 pounds in a year, but she never enjoyed the process or her weight loss. After having her second son, she had again gained weight and was angry with herself for it—something she carried for years.
Heather has since learned that despite what you want, think, and feel, time still goes by. It doesn’t matter what age you are, you can always keep working at reaching your goal.
Now that she has been through coaching, she can enjoy the process and results of losing weight—and she’s down about 45 pounds on top of it all.
How Heather Learned to Enjoy Weight Loss:
For Heather, the shift began last summer when she was a few months into the program.
She was out on a walk and felt good, so she continued walking. It hit her that she was just enjoying the walk, enjoying the scenery, enjoying the music she was listening to—and she wasn’t thinking about the details.
She wasn’t thinking about how far she needed to walk or when she needed to head back, she was simply in the moment and unconcerned about the end goal.
Heather realized that she had the time in life to enjoy the process and that she could lose the weight while enjoying the process.
Grant saw Heather’s shift before even Heather did.
He could see her starting to exude positivity as she learned about foods and improved her relationship with them. When she had days that weren’t perfect, Heather was able to let go and stay positive.
Balancing Grace and Standards:
Weight loss requires you to have a balance between giving yourself grace and having discipline and standards.
For Heather, though there can still be struggles with perfectionism and negative emotions, she found balance by learning to sit with her emotions and reflect on what/why she was feeling a certain way.
Heather used to describe herself as an all-or-nothing person, but now she doesn’t seek ‘perfection or nothing’.
On the days she isn’t feeling into it, she finds that having Coach Grant and her spreadsheet tracker is very important to staying on track and keeping herself accountable.
Coach Grant finds that it is vital to figure out and establish what self-love is.
He has observed that many people tend to push the idea of self-love to extremes—they will define self-love as not giving a shit and eating/doing whatever, or they will go to the other extreme where self-love is all about working out every day and self-control.
Grant points out, however, that you have to find a balance and that you need to define self-love in order to have that balance.
What Made Heather Commit to Coaching:
Heather was already familiar with spending money on weight loss. She had been in Weight Watchers for 30 years—she had paid for products, meetings, etc. She had also decided to see a therapist after learning about cognitive behavioral therapy and how it could impact her relationship with food.
Through these experiences, she was able to recognize that she had tried everything on her own—and since she had gotten help for her mental health, she could also get help with her weight loss and diet.
She had been on a long journey and it took a few years before she was able to be open to the idea of coaching.
Heather recognizes that she was on the road to living a shorter life because of her struggles with food and weight—but she also realized that she is worth the investment.
Jared finds that investing in yourself monetarily often spurs people into the realization that they are worth it. He gets frustrated with our culture at times because it’s easy to say affirmations in the mirror, but truly believing you are worth it can be hard work for many.
What was the Hardest Thing to Learn?:
For Heather, the hardest thing to learn was that she could eat what she wanted to eat and that she would be okay as long as she wrote it down. Even when she doesn’t want to record what she ate, she will track it.
It took her time to learn that she could eat a cookie or a 100-calorie snack and be okay.
She also learned that she can pass on foods because she can always eat them another time if she wants them.
Now that Heather has given herself permission to eat what she wants when she wants, there are no longer ‘bad’ foods and there is no longer pressure to eat certain foods. Food used to call to Heather—but now she chooses what she wants when she wants it.
Because of these mindset changes, Heather has been able to go on vacations and enjoy herself without being controlled by food.
Jared points out that—even while doing all of this learning and giving herself permission to eat and enjoy foods—she has continued to lose weight.
Heather actually went to Florida twice (she’s from Canada) and still lost weight while on vacation. During her vacations she doesn’t track, she just eats intuitively.
Grant finds that once you get the mindset side of weight loss down, things become much more simple. Though losing weight may never be easy, it does become simplified by getting your headspace right.
Heather understands that her weight loss is more than calories in versus calories out. It’s her mindset that makes the biggest impact on her weight loss and her enjoyment of the process and results.
Jared agrees that weight loss is more than just the physical. “Calories in, calories out,” or “food is just fuel,” makes it seem like weight loss doesn’t involve mental or emotional elements, but in reality, your mindset can dramatically impact your weight loss and the choices you make with food.
Why Grant Thinks Heather has Been Successful:
Grant believes that Heather has been so successful because she has been able to let go of the outcomes and she has been an action-taker. Heather has consistently shown up for herself and consistently taken action on the information given to her.
Heather agrees that she is an action-taker, but having Grant, the private and public Facebook groups, and people in her corner has been a big motivator for her to take action and keep showing up for herself.
Coaching has not only impacted her weight loss, but it has also helped her in her baking business, which is doing very well.
Heather believes that having Grant allowed her to believe in herself in a way she never could have before. For Heather, learning to sit with her emotions was also immensely helpful. She is stronger now because of coaching and knows, no matter what may come up in the future, she is and will be okay.
Closing Thoughts From Heather:
Heather tells others like herself to give themselves grace, forgive themselves, and reach out for help. Jared and his team have tools to help.
She says it will be scary, but to trust the process. She emphasizes that it doesn’t matter how long it will take—just give yourself the time.
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