About Today’s Episode:
I’ve got a really cool episode for you today! I am bringing back Cody McBroom.
I had Cody on the show a few years ago and he was a fan favorite, so I am super excited to get him back on.
We talked about a lot in this episode—parenting, ownership, managing your mindset, how to make the most out of unprecedented situations, getting results regardless of the chaos around you, and a ton more.
It was an absolute joy to record this episode and I know you guys are going to get a lot out of it.
Let’s get into it!
TIMESTAMPS
02:09 Our Sponsors
14:39 Extreme Ownership
17:59 How to Take Ownership
50:23 Equanimity
Transcript (click to expand)
How to Balance Life and Goals:
Cody has recently gone through a very busy period—a period of “intentional bullshit” as he puts it—stress and things that he chose to put himself through so he could evolve certain aspects of his life and business.
For Cody, this meant changing locations, evolving his role and the role of others in his business, and creating new systems. His personal life is also quite busy—his daughter is in pre-school, Cody is in or going to several weddings, etc.
Despite the stress all of these events naturally bring, Cody recognizes that these are all great opportunities that he is excited and grateful for.
The reality of stress is a strange thing—it can make you sick, your immune system can suffer, and it can make you less happy, but negative symptoms associated with stress are heavily affected by a person’s perspective and perception.
A person who approaches stressors with an attitude of, “It is what it is,” or “I am really good at handling stress,” will have far fewer negative side effects when compared to someone who gets anxious or worked up during stressful times.
Cody is trying to embrace and enjoy this time and has found that stopping to remind himself that these are things he has chosen—they are good things and by design—helps him keep perspective.
Naturally, there are days that are tough, but slowing down and reframing things helps him keep that positive perspective. Cody is especially cognizant of taking a moment to slow down when he is on his way home so he can focus on a positive environment and presence with his family.
Extreme Ownership:
Actively working to ensure he is present with his family reminds Cody of when he first got into fitness. He played soccer, but never lifted weights—and was not super athletic.
After high school, Cody had weight he wanted to lose and he looked in the mirror and called himself out on the areas where he was falling short.
He asked himself, “What are you doing and why?”
This is similar to the approach he took in his personal life to become more present with his family. Cody asked himself what he would do if he was a fully present father. He noted he would get more done before coming home, he would put his phone away, he would shift his attitude before walking through the door, be more attentive, etc.
By working towards being more present, Cody saw positive impacts for both himself and his family—his wife and daughter would have better days and Cody received more love from his daughter.
How to Take Ownership:
What has helped Cody is “gamifying” things.
Cody will think of challenges like how to get his daughter to “gut-wrench laugh,” which inspires him to be more intentional and really try to engage.
He applies this to food as well.
An example is when you are going to eat something—like a processed food, or cookie, or something outside of the typical healthy choices—and you have the desire to over-indulge, stop and ask yourself if you’re going to let that food “win”… or if you are stronger than that food?
Once you win the battle, you get some satisfaction from that victory and the next time you will have the attitude of, “I’m not going to lose this time,” and you can do incrementally better each time.
Cody says it's the same with stress. At times when stress does start to win, he is able to snap back and tell himself he will “win” by the end of the day.
Jared finds that many people get knocked down and don’t get back up—or stay down for too long—when in reality they are just one moment away from being back on track.
He also finds that people will put off starting.
For example, Jared recently released a free three-month program in his Facebook community and found that some people were waiting until April 1st to start—but there was no reason to wait. The program is designed to be sustainable and started anytime.
Cody says you don’t have to wait and when you shift gears and start today you are better able to quickly shift when it is needed in the future.
When you have a bad day or something negative happens, you don’t have to carry it with you throughout the day.
Cody recalls a time when a trip to the beach with his family was ruined by unexpected rain. His daughter was upset and his wife wanted to go home, but Cody made a spur-of-the-moment decision to stop at the store, buy food and games, and take his family back to the cottage they had rented so they could have a picnic inside—which ended up saving the trip.
If things linger into your goals, actions, and environment when it doesn’t need to—you are choosing to let it.
Intention and Deliberate Action:
Cody says it’s similar to the idea of “don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness.”
For people who want to wait to start until Monday—think, “What’s the worst that could happen if I start right now?”
It was the same on the beach trip with his family. The day was already a bust, so trying to salvage it really had no downside—and they ended up having a great time.
Jared fully believes in what he calls mental momentum.
Even if you are super tired and your workout is going to be 20% effort or your calories are only going to decrease slightly, even though the physical results won’t be coming to fruition—you will be building mental momentum.
You can not achieve the physical results without first establishing mental momentum.
People forget that we have to get mental momentum even in the absence of physical results.
Cody likes to tell people that when they do these little things, they are building traits that apply to the mindset—and those traits apply to the physical as well.
If you are wondering what one day or one weekend do for your physical results, it may be nothing—but by saying no, sticking to, or starting your plan you are developing willpower and commitment.
When you get up, do your workout, journal, etc., you are developing self-awareness, self-respect, and self-value—which leads to you treating yourself better.
The traits are not things you are born with, they are things you develop—like discipline.
Cody, for example, is an entrepreneur, but no one in his family was an entrepreneur.
When he was young, he traded Pokémon cards, and later, he would sell things that no one in his family was using on Craigslist so he could buy new shoes or a skateboard.
He developed the entrepreneurial trait over time.
Being great at anything takes discipline and willpower—there are going to be days when you don’t feel like it, but if you want to achieve a certain goal—like a physique—you have to do it anyway.
If you don’t develop willpower, you won’t be able to stop at one cookie.
So, while a day—or a weekend—might not make a difference for your physique in the moment, you’ll be developing the traits you need for long-term success. These traits carry over into every area of your life over time.
Jared notes that discipline scales and if you have poor discipline with something like your nutrition, you probably lack discipline in other areas of your life—which is why people do things like “start over Monday,” or just say “fuck it.”
Cody says it’s a standard of life.
You don’t have to be David Goggins, but if you want to be disciplined with your diet you need to be disciplined with other things—do one thing like you do everything.
You have to apply these things everywhere. Sometimes you have to do things to increase your adherence.
For example, if there is a food you really struggle with, you may just need to get it out of the house for a while.
Later, when you have worked on your discipline, you can bring it back because the reward you receive from discipline—the physical results you’ve achieved—is greater than the reward you receive from eating that food item, and you no longer struggle with discipline around that food item.
You don’t have to eliminate it forever, but you have to build your discipline first.
Jared finds that often what gets people is the idea that something is easiER.
Making your bed is easy, but not making your bed is easier.
When it comes to food, it takes much more mental bandwidth to stop yourself at one cookie than it does to not eat any or say “fuck it” and over-indulge.
Cody reiterates that doing the little things adds up.
He uses the example of saving money by buying the store brand of ibuprofen instead of Advil or canceling streaming services you don’t really use. Even though it’s a dollar here, five dollars there—it adds up.
Jared finds that where someone spends their time and money is reflective of their biggest priorities.
If you say in one moment that you have been struggling with your weight your whole life and want to change, but in the next moment you are turning around to spend money on bullshit rather than something that can help you achieve your goals—your priorities are not aligned with what you say.
Cody points out that you need to sacrifice sometimes to take extreme ownership.
When you start taking ownership, everything in your life moves forward faster.
When you point the blame at something or somebody else—you are giving power to that thing.
Every happy, balanced, fit person is choosing to take control and letting go of the things they cannot control.
Jared says it’s about being resourceful and emotionally regulated—you need to stop and analyze what you are in control of.
Cody states that many people will think they can’t do something, but they simply haven’t figured it out yet—or they won’t.
Equanimity:
Cody defines equanimity as, essentially, controlling yourself and the results that are coming in the chaos.
In Jiu-jitsu, being able to stop and logically think about how you will get out of a certain position—while being crushed—is a perfect example of equanimity.
It’s the same in business and in life: there is always something—a sick kid, a roadblock, a bill to be paid—equanimity is your ability to make things happen with all these other factors happening around you.
Cody also emphasizes that these things are happening around you. If you think of them as happening to you, then you become a victim—and you can’t become a victim if you want to become a winner.
Jared and Cody both learned of equanimity through Ed Mylett and found that the idea of composure throughout the chaos really resonated with them.
It’s now something they actively pursue.
Cody found a mentor who he respected that helped him develop his equanimity—and he advises listeners to find a person they respect who they can talk to and learn from that has those traits they want to help them develop.
CONNECT WITH CODY:
‣ Website: https://tailoredcoachingmethod.com
‣ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codymcbroom
‣ Tailored Life Podcast: https://pod.link/1167859928
‣ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/codymcbroom1
‣ All Other Links: https://tailoredcoachingmethod.com/links-cody
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