Cody McBroom on Navigating Stressful Times & Developing Discipline & Grit | DFIO Ep.263
About Today’s Episode:
I’ve got a really cool episode for you today! I am bringing back Cody McBroom.
I had Cody on the show a few years ago and he was a fan favorite, so I am super excited to get him back on.
We talked about a lot in this episode—parenting, ownership, managing your mindset, how to make the most out of unprecedented situations, getting results regardless of the chaos around you, and a ton more.
It was an absolute joy to record this episode and I know you guys are going to get a lot out of it.
Let’s get into it!
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Intro & About Today’s Episode
02:09 Our Sponsors
04:49 How to Balance Life and Goals
14:39 Extreme Ownership
17:59 How to Take Ownership
26:56 Intention and Deliberate Action
50:23 Equanimity
01:02:36 Outro—freebies & how to apply for coaching
Transcript (click to expand)
DFIO263 Cody McBroom
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Cody McBroom on Navigating Stressful Times & Developing Discipline & Grit | DFIO Ep.263
0:00:00.0 Cody McBroom: Everything is your responsibility. Everything is your fault. Take ownership, and everything in your life will change. When you point the blame at somebody or at something else, what you're doing is putting control and power into that thing or that person instead of in yourself.
0:00:12.9 Cody McBroom: You're literally taking the power and control from you and giving it to somebody else, and basically saying, "I can't control my success. I can't control my life. I can't control my happiness. This thing does." Fuck that. You're in control of everything.
[music]
0:00:27.0 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, friends? I hope you are well. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Dieting From The Inside Out. If you're new here, welcome to the show. My name is Jared Hamilton, and I'm your host. Let me first apologize for my congested-sounding self. I've been a little bit under the weather. I am fighting a ear infection over here, so things feel weird.
0:00:45.0 Jared Hamilton: And then I'm also fighting... I got some upper respiratory stuff going on. So if I sound a little bit off, I apologize, but nonetheless, I didn't wanna wait another, I think the doctor said this antibiotic treatment I'm on is gonna be 10 days. So I didn't wanna wait 10 days before getting you more content, so we are here nonetheless. I've got a really cool episode ready for you today.
0:01:04.9 Jared Hamilton: I am bringing back Cody McBroom onto the show. So it has been probably three years since I've had Cody on the show, and he is definitely a fan favorite. And we got into so many things on this episode. We talked about literally everything all over the place, and it was so... This is my thing I love about Cody so much, is I didn't really have to prepare for him. I didn't have to have crazy amounts of notes or anything like that. We just had an organic conversation.
0:01:31.1 Jared Hamilton: We talked about parenting. We talked about ownership. We talked about how to manage everything going on with your... In the world of chaos and uncertainty with your mindset and your headspace and your perspective and your ability to reframe, and how to make the most out of a really unprecedented situation, and how to still get results regardless of the chaos around you.
0:01:53.4 Jared Hamilton: We talked about so many different things and there were so many nuggets. And if you're someone who really likes the mindset stuff and you're someone who really likes this deeper level conversation, you will love this episode. So it was a joy to talk with Cody. He's someone that I look up to a lot. And yeah, so I know you're gonna get a lot out of this episode.
0:02:09.9 Jared Hamilton: Now, before we get into that, I did wanna have a big thank you to the sponsors of the show. Sponsor number one, FlexPro Meals. You guys know I love my FlexPros. I have an empty container right here in front of me on my desk where I just had one a few minutes ago.
0:02:23.1 Jared Hamilton: It's just one of those things, guys, where if what you're doing is not convenient, it's just not gonna happen for most people. The reality is most of us have tight schedules, unpredictable schedules. Half of you have kids where... Then you've got all those sorts of bullshit with that, where you just need to have, a lot of times, something that is ready to go for you.
0:02:43.5 Jared Hamilton: This is why we talk about it a lot, where you always wanna have foods that are easy grab-and-gos that are in line for your goals. Well, FlexPro just makes this a lot easier with these pre-made meals that ship straight to your home, that are cheaper than a drive-thru, that are made by a chef, that are dialed in for your numbers, and it's just a no-brainer.
0:03:00.3 Jared Hamilton: And if you're into saving money, you should use my code "HamiltonTrained". You can either go to the link below or go to flexpromeals.com, and like I said, code "HamiltonTrained" and it will save you an additional 20% at checkout. Been a game changer for me. I always love having them in my fridge.
0:03:15.1 Jared Hamilton: Then sponsor number two, which is 1st Phorm. I actually just got a 1st Phorm shipment yesterday. You guys know supplements are not the end all, be all. I don't think a program should be based only around supplements. But that doesn't mean that supplements don't have their time and their place, because supplements are exactly what they're called. They're to supplement areas that you are missing and not getting food there.
0:03:38.4 Jared Hamilton: So for example, if you are not getting enough protein in with food, that's where you use a supplement. If you don't get enough omegas in your diet and you have inflammation issues, then you can take in a fish oil. This is where if you are struggling with recovery and you could use something like creatine, whatever. Those kind of things.
0:03:53.6 Jared Hamilton: Those are the gaps we're talking about. If you aren't getting your, all the recommended servings of fruits and vegetables, this is what we're talking about, like a greens powder or a multi-vitamin, things like that. This is what the role of supplements are.
0:04:05.2 Jared Hamilton: But my biggest thing is, I don't want you just hopping on Amazon, finding what tastes the okay-est, that's the cheapest, because usually you're not gonna get something that's worth the money or that's of the quality. I wanna make sure your money is going to the right places and getting you the best products that you can get, which is why we work with 1st Phorm, and you'll be shocked if you start ordering from them just how amazing their products are.
0:04:27.2 Jared Hamilton: Now, if you aren't quite sure where to get started with supplements, I'll leave my YouTube video on supplements below. But if you also wanna go see what 1st Phorm has to offer and all that stuff, definitely use the link below, and I'll leave that there for you. But otherwise, that is it from the sponsor section.
0:04:42.0 Jared Hamilton: Now, let's get into today's episode with Cody. I know you're gonna get a lot out of this. Be sure to subscribe to the show if you are not already, and we'll talk to you soon.
0:04:49.8 Cody McBroom: Alright. Bro, so what are we getting into today?
0:04:52.2 Jared Hamilton: I wanna... Actually, what's funny is, I think it's so... I was wanting to talk to you about this in general, and I think it's so relevant and I think it'll resonate a lot with my audience, is how you balance everything so well, but your goals don't subside at all.
0:05:08.9 Jared Hamilton: 'Cause I think with talking to the average person, it's like when you've got kids, mom life, school, work, overtime, the whole nine yards, it's like... So many people have issues with that.
0:05:19.5 Jared Hamilton: But I think the time period you just went through on top of your normal bullshit. You have normal day in the life of Cody. You have your daughter, your wife, your business, your team, media, content, travel, all that bullshit in general, if that wasn't hard enough. But then on top of it, moving to the new location, getting all that bullshit. [chuckle]
0:05:42.6 Jared Hamilton: I just think it would... It's so relevant, especially what you just went through, on how people can keep their shit together when life is just jab, jab, right hook, upper cut, just like put him through the wringer?
0:05:57.5 Cody McBroom: Love it, dude. Yeah, I think that's perfect. I think it's very relevant, not only to me, but everybody. There's always something, so I'm all about it.
0:06:06.8 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. Well, let's get into it. I always start my... My shows are always recording out the gate so we don't miss anything, and we just... He'll cut it up all later, so...
0:06:14.8 Cody McBroom: Smart.
0:06:16.9 Jared Hamilton: I've lost so much good content in pre-recorded off-camera conversations, and I just started recording and if it's junk in the beginning, we'll get rid of it, but there's so much gold in the beginning of most conversations, so.
0:06:30.8 Cody McBroom: And then you have to bring it up later in the podcast and go, "Like we were saying before we started recording," or like, "Before air, when we were saying... " I do that shit all the time.
[chuckle]
0:06:38.3 Jared Hamilton: Yeah dude, it's the worst. So anymore, I just always start recording just because... And I think it's most raw and authentic and real and stuff, so. So go ahead and give everyone a little taste of all the bullshit [chuckle] that's been going on with you?
0:06:52.2 Cody McBroom: Yeah. You know what? I think it's... The thing that I try to think of too, is, although we use the word "bullshit" because it stings, it's stress, it's... But understanding that it's intentional bullshit that I choose to put myself through. And that's so, so important. Because when people are... Otherwise, it's just excuses, right?
0:07:12.8 Cody McBroom: If I'm saying like, "Man, I had to... ". We had to move the location. We had to move everything from one gym to the next, and then I had to create new systems. I had to design a new podcast studio because all of our old stuff wasn't gonna work in the new space because we had to actually have a separate space for it.
0:07:26.3 Cody McBroom: I was transitioning some of my roles within the business so that I can help build the business instead of being so much in the business. And that meant delegating more. It meant essentially giving new roles to new people and creating new systems. My daughter is in pre-school and she's going through the whole pre-school thing. I have... Dude, I'm in three weddings.
0:07:51.2 Jared Hamilton: Holy shit. [chuckle]
0:07:51.8 Cody McBroom: I'm in... Yeah.
0:07:52.1 Jared Hamilton: Not just attending, but you're in them?
0:07:54.4 Cody McBroom: Dude, I'm in three, so.
0:07:55.1 Jared Hamilton: Bro. [laughter]
0:07:57.0 Cody McBroom: And then I'm attending a fourth, which happens to be in Mexico, and it's like...
0:08:00.9 Jared Hamilton: Holy shit.
0:08:02.1 Cody McBroom: And this is through the summer and fall, so it'll be basically starting in May and then it goes like May... No, May, August, September and then October, I think. And then on top of that, we had a bunch of family stuff going on 'cause all of our birthdays are in the summer. So we had to cancel one of those trips. So we have all this stuff going on, right?
0:08:25.2 Jared Hamilton: Oh man.
0:08:25.8 Jared Hamilton: And like you said, I'm running a business, I'm trying to focus on my health as well, I have a daughter, a wife that I gotta care for. Now, those are all great opportunities. I've worked my ass off and built this company doing all these things. But now I get the opportunity to move my location, to create a new studio, to... I'm honored to be in the weddings, one of which I'm the... I need to go get certified still. I'm the ordained guy. I'm the guy that's ordained.
0:08:51.1 Jared Hamilton: Oh, the officiant?
0:08:52.2 Cody McBroom: I'm the officiant. I didn't know what it was called.
0:08:53.1 Jared Hamilton: Wow, let's go.
0:08:54.3 Cody McBroom: Yeah. I'm excited. I get these opportunities. And so it is bullshit in the sense that it's a lot, but I think a big piece of it all is trying to reframe it in the beginning and looking at it from a different perspective. And it's like as soon as that stress builds up, even if it's... Shit, the... To be completely real, the financial side of moving.
0:09:16.3 Cody McBroom: At first, on paper, you're like, "Okay, I can do this. It's gonna be a good check. We'll do this. It's fine." And then an expense comes up, and then something you didn't realize comes up. And then we get here, and I'm like, "Holy shit, I'm 30 rubber mats short for the gym. I thought I would have more than enough."
0:09:33.1 Jared Hamilton: That's no small expense either.
0:09:35.1 Cody McBroom: Oh dude, those are 45 bucks a pop, so I had to go spend another $3000 on fucking gym mats. So it just starts stacking up. And so... But, again, all of it is part of a big dream come true, all of it is great opportunities. And so I think the reality of stress is funny, man.
0:09:55.7 Cody McBroom: Stress is dangerous, it's deadly, it can make you sick, it can make your immune system crash, it can make your muscle atrophy, you can't perform, you're not happy, all these things. But what they also know, and this is actually backed by research, about stress is that, I call it a "stress capacity", but essentially the most dangerous symptoms, negative symptoms from stress, are actually based on somebody's perspective and perception of the stress.
0:10:23.4 Cody McBroom: Meaning that two people can actually be impacted with the same exact stress, but if one person is just like, "You know what? It is what it is," or like, "I am really good at handling stress," and they can talk themselves into handling stress, they will literally have less negative symptoms from an immune function, from a hormonal function, all these kind of things. Whereas the worrier who gets really easily anxious is gonna suffer. [chuckle]
0:10:47.3 Cody McBroom: So the point is is that, as cheesy as it sounds to woosah, you really do have to do that. You kinda got to step up and go, "Okay, I'm choosing to put myself in this fire, and I'm gonna try to embrace and enjoy the parts of it." And don't get me wrong. It's easier said than done.
0:11:03.1 Jared Hamilton: Sure.
0:11:03.2 Cody McBroom: But it's about being able to stop, take a step back and go, "Okay, I need to sit for a sec," and go, "Okay, this is all by choice, by design. This is good things. This is really cool. This is exciting opportunities." Excitement can be the same thing as anxiety, because a lot of times we mistakenly think that excitement is anxiety. We get anxious and really we're just excited. And that's the other thing, too. It's like, "Okay, what are you anxious and stressed about?"
0:11:28.5 Cody McBroom: And if it's a bunch of stuff that you set in motion or that you choose to do or that you have to do in order to get to a place you wanna be, it's like, "Is that really negative?" So it's been a lot, and it is a juggle sometimes, and there's plenty of days where I didn't get enough sleep, I didn't... There are things don't go the way I wanted them to go, but...
0:11:48.7 Cody McBroom: Man, I think the power of perspective is so huge, and so I just try to keep reframing my brain and slow down in those moments and go, "You know what? This is pretty fucking cool, and I gotta be happy with that."
0:12:00.8 Cody McBroom: And it's a challenge. Even the fitness side of it, or staying in shape, and trying to still have balance with my family and make sure that I don't bring any of the stress home or anything like that, it's a game. To me... And I've failed the game plenty of times, [chuckle] and it's in the... Truthfully, the first people that get the negative side of it if I'm in an overwhelmed state, it's my family, it's my girls. I'm...
0:12:27.5 Cody McBroom: 'Cause I come home with it. And they don't deserve that. They didn't do any of that. And a lot of times my wife is more than willing to help, but she can't. There's nothing you can do in this situation beside to be there. But it's my job as the man of the house to come home and chill the fuck out. And my daughter could care less about what happened at work or what stress I'm going through.
[chuckle]
0:12:46.0 Cody McBroom: So that's been an interesting game that I've been a lot better at as of late, because I've been trying to slow down before I get home. On the way home, actually talking to myself about like, "How am I going to ramp her excitement up as soon as I get home? How am I gonna shift the energy in the house? How do I shift myself so that I can feel that way?"
0:13:09.1 Cody McBroom: And I've talked about this on my podcast, and I haven't done it a little bit 'cause you can't do the same thing over and over again, but I started... The first thing that really clicked for me as I came home and just immediately, I had a bluetooth speaker with me and I just brought it in, playing a song that my daughter can't not dance to.
0:13:23.5 Jared Hamilton: Oh wow.
0:13:24.6 Cody McBroom: Which is funny. I'm gonna say the song and people are gonna crack up, but it's Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz.
0:13:30.2 Jared Hamilton: Really? [laughter]
0:13:31.3 Cody McBroom: You know the song? Yeah. I don't know why.
0:13:33.8 Jared Hamilton: I love it.
0:13:33.9 Cody McBroom: Bro, she loves that. And it's... There's this Trolls Disney short film thing, and all the zombies in it play that song, and they do this weird head bob and say, "I ain't happy... " And then they just... It's hilarious.
0:13:49.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:13:50.1 Cody McBroom: So I just come in the house doing this Frankenstein bop and I'm playing it, and she just loses her shit.
0:13:55.2 Jared Hamilton: That's incredible.
0:13:55.3 Cody McBroom: But I'm in a bad mood, so it was easy for me to act like a zombie 'cause I'm stressed, and I was like, "I gotta do this." But instantly your mindset shifts. You're positive, you're laughing now, and then my wife is laughing. And it was like, "Okay." You gotta do some goofy shit on the fly to spark that positivity. And that helped me a lot.
0:14:14.5 Cody McBroom: But point being is I think everything I've learned in this crazy, probably, honestly like four-month period of time with all this stuff going on, it's the perspective, man. It's just shifting your mindset constantly and reminding yourself why you're doing it all and what you're doing and what you're after, and that if you treat it like a game, you're always just trying to win. And when you win, it feels real fucking good, and you get competitive with yourself. And you can just keep on pushing.
0:14:39.5 Jared Hamilton: That's incredible, dude. I actually had in my notes I wanted to bring that up, 'cause you made a post about that family shift you made. It was a beautiful Instagram post that...
0:14:49.2 Cody McBroom: Thank you.
0:14:50.1 Jared Hamilton: That when you... It was... I read the whole copy on it, and it was this delicate balance of extreme ownership of like, "Yo, I have not been doing my role to the level it should be, but here's what I'm doing now, and here's how it's changing." That was incredible, dude. That was such a cool thing to watch. And I couldn't even imagine the difference that makes at home. You know what I mean?
0:15:15.3 Cody McBroom: Yeah. Dude, thank you, man. It's crazy too, 'cause in... And not to toot my own horn, but I knew that was a good post because if you post a pic... If you post a picture and it gets a lot of engagement, you're like, "Okay, I really wrote something there."
0:15:27.1 Jared Hamilton: Right now, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. [chuckle]
0:15:28.4 Cody McBroom: That's what I'm saying, yeah. It was... And you know what that was too is it's just... It's funny, man, 'cause I remember thinking about that and going, "This is the exact same thing of what made me originally get in shape." When I first found fitness, I... Dude, I didn't lift weights in high school. Nothing. I never... I played soccer, but I wasn't super athletic.
0:15:49.3 Cody McBroom: After high school, I knew I had weight to lose. I knew I wanted to get stronger, I wanted more comps. And I just looked in the mirror and called myself out of my shit and was like, "Okay, what are you doing? Why are you doing that?" I wasn't shaming myself, but I was just like, "Dude, get your shit together."
0:16:00.6 Jared Hamilton: It was ownership.
0:16:02.5 Cody McBroom: It was ownership. It was extreme ownership to the tee. And I did that with them too, 'cause it's like... A good example is, I remember multiple times, my wife saying like, "You need to be present," and I'm like, "I am. I'm here." And she said, "Just 'cause you're here doesn't mean your present."
0:16:15.8 Cody McBroom: And I would say, "Whatever. You don't know the fuck you're talking about. I'm good. You don't know what I'm thinking about. You're thinking about other... No I'm not. I'm thinking about you guys." Which was bullshit. I just didn't want her to be right. And so...
[chuckle]
0:16:30.0 Cody McBroom: When I called myself out, I was like, "Okay, if that's the case, what would I do if I was a fully present father?" And I started shifting a little bit. I was like, "Okay." I would get more shit done before I got home. I would shift my perspective before I walked in the door, just changed my attitude. I would put my phone away. I would be more attentive to play with her.
0:16:48.0 Cody McBroom: When I'm exhausted, tired from the gym, working all day, she's waiting for me. I need to be able to just squeeze out that last little bit of that second wind to give it to her and crawl around and play. And once I started doing that, I could literally see them completely change. Towards me, towards themselves. Every day they would have a better day and then the night would finish better.
0:17:10.7 Cody McBroom: I was getting more love from my daughter. I was... She needed me more and it was... It really came to life when I went to Austin for our team retreat. I flew out there. And it was the first time my daughter ever cried 'cause I was leaving.
0:17:22.8 Jared Hamilton: Wow.
0:17:30.5 Jared Hamilton: That's so sweet.
0:17:31.9 Cody McBroom: Dude, it was unbelievable. 'Cause normally I'm like, "Oh, Dad's leaving on a work trip," and she just goes like, "They have a gym there?" She knows I do fitness stuff. I'm like, "Yeah, there's probably a gym there. I'll work out." And she's fine, she's like, "Oh, I can't wait for you to get back." No big deal.
0:17:44.4 Jared Hamilton: That's cool, man.
0:17:45.9 Cody McBroom: And so it was cool, man. And it really hit me hard, and it made it harder to leave and then I just felt that and I was like, "Okay." And I had to admit it to my wife, too. Which was the hardest thing. I looked at her, I was like, "You're right. I wasn't present." And I think it's extreme ownership, man. It makes everything better.
0:18:00.6 Jared Hamilton: That's huge. I think that's when people are juggling their struggles with their stuff with the life stress and things going on. I feel like the last thing, one of the biggest things people miss is ownership. It's easy to look at all the reasons to not make shit happen, or it's like, "Well, this is going on, this is going on," and they talk about all the things that's outside their control.
0:18:18.4 Cody McBroom: But you have two things, you can always stop when you're full. You can always get in part of a workout than a whole workout. You can always do your inner work. You can always have a... Choose to have a good attitude even though you don't want to. But I think so many people don't have that, and they're missing just the ownership piece would just fix everything.
0:18:38.0 Cody McBroom: Yeah. And you know what, man? The thing that has helped me the most with that, because it's not easy, it's not easy to look in the mirror and have that ownership. I just always gamified it, man. For whatever reason, that just helped me is like, "Okay, how do I get my daughter to gut-wrench laugh, like can't stop?" Let me, you know...
0:18:55.9 Jared Hamilton: Okay. [chuckle]
0:18:56.3 Cody McBroom: "Let me figure this out," you know?
0:18:57.7 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.
0:18:58.0 Cody McBroom: And then this is like for the guys listening, this is important for them. It's important for everybody. But I even think about with my wife, I'm like, "Okay, we've been married for a while, we have a kid, we lived together, we're adulting, we've been adulting. How do I get her to really desire me like she used to? How do I get that first date look again?"
0:19:13.7 Cody McBroom: And sometimes you do funny shit and it's like a joke and it doesn't work, and sometimes... But they see you trying. And it's intentional. And I think it's a game. It's like, "how do I get... How do I win the chick again?"
0:19:26.2 Cody McBroom: And I apply it to food. I was talking to a client about this, and it was with... 'Cause I went to Disneyland not too long ago with my daughter for her birthday, and my wife obviously, and it was the same thing. It was like... I'm not a huge sweets guy, but there was like Churros and my daughter's never had Churros, she wanted to try a Churro.
0:19:46.8 Cody McBroom: She could care less if I had any. And I didn't like... I remember being like, "Oh, I'm gonna get one." And then I thought about it and I'm like, "I don't even really like Churros," right? And then it was like, "Fuck that Churro. I'm gonna win that battle." And I just didn't have it.
[chuckle]
0:20:00.2 Cody McBroom: And then like my daughter had like... And this is the hardest part as a business owner and stuff, she'll eat one bite of a $20 Churro and be like, "It's okay," and wanna throw it away. And you're like...
0:20:08.8 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. Your're like, "You motherfucker." [chuckle]
0:20:11.9 Cody McBroom: "You just threw a $20 bill away." But I gamify that. So even with over-eating— like when I'm being flexible and I'm gonna eat something, we all know we can fit processed foods in and we'll hit your macros, all that shit, but it's not always easy to actually fit the little bit in, you know? Especially if you're on a cut or something like that and you don't have a ton of calories to play with.
0:20:35.8 Cody McBroom: But it's like, "Okay, I can fit a little bit in," and then when you have that urge to say "fuck" and just eat the rest, gamify it. Go to your head and go, "Are you gonna let those Oreos or those Chips Ahoy!, the chips or whatever. Are you're gonna let that win? Are you stronger than that?"
0:20:46.3 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, that "start over Monday..." Yeah, that's huge, dude.
0:20:51.0 Cody McBroom: Exactly. And then as hardcore, as crazy as that sounds, like in your mind, you win the battle and you get a little bit of a dopamine kick 'cause I fucking won, and then next time you're like, "I'm not gonna lose this time," and you can just do better every time. So for me, man, I just always, always gamify it.
0:21:09.5 Cody McBroom: Same thing with the stress load. It's like, "Am I gonna let the stress conquer me? No." And sometimes it does and then I snap back 'cause I'm like, "No, no, no. I'm gonna win the game by the end of the day." So that gamified thing has just been, worked wonders for me personally.
0:21:22.2 Jared Hamilton: That's huge. Now, I wanna go back to something you just said. When you said, when it does, when let's say you do take an L. When you do like, when the stress does overtake you or you make a bad decision or whatever, you said, "I don't get it back by the end of the day."
0:21:36.1 Jared Hamilton: I think so many people, they what I call stay down too long. It's like the whole concept of... One thing we talk about a lot is it's not a matter of getting knocked down, it's how long it takes, it's how long you stay down. Where too many people, I think they'll have a rough weekend or a rough whatever, and life kicks 'em in the dick and they're, they lose it.
0:21:55.8 Jared Hamilton: But we're all one moment away from being right back in the swing of things. But I think it's crazy, it'll take someone, let's say all weekend to get back on track. Or it'll be, like right now there's... I just dropped in my community, the most badass free program I've ever made. Ever.
0:22:13.4 Jared Hamilton: It's completely free. It's just a value thing. It's a full three-month long thing and people are crushing it. I'm still having people that are like, "Well, I'm gonna wait." This was like last week. They're like, "I'm gonna wait 'til April 1st to start." And I'm like, "Did you not listen to a fucking thing I said?"
0:22:28.7 Jared Hamilton: It's the most chill, sustainable, like one step at a time, kind of entry level thing, but there are still people who are saying, "Well, I'm gonna wait to start over in April." I'm like, "Bro, you can go on your walk today, you can start journaling your food today, you can start everything today." But it's too...
0:22:46.9 Jared Hamilton: But like you said, when you get knocked off, the part of your brain goes, "Well, I'm gonna get back on right now. By the end of the day, I'm gonna have this back." I think that's such an important part to note.
0:22:55.6 Cody McBroom: Well, the problem with those people is typically they'll go like, "Well, what's the... " I mean, okay, I start... We're recording to March 31st. Okay, I start today. Big deal. What's one day gonna do in the gym? Nothing. But if you start today, mentally it's gonna do a lot.
0:23:09.1 Jared Hamilton: It's a standard.
0:23:10.0 Cody McBroom: Because next time when you need to start quicker, start sooner, you have, like you just said, that higher standard and you will jump back on quicker. And that's gonna apply to so many things in life. And I always try to... I'm a huge... I reflect a lot, just so I'm always picking apart stories and situations in my life, and I'm writing them down and stuff.
0:23:29.7 Cody McBroom: So I can think of a very specific scenario. Last summer we go to the ocean out here called Ocean Shores, it's like just some little shithole town on the water. It's really cool. Like middle of nowhere...
0:23:40.1 Jared Hamilton: I really hope someone from Ocean Shores is listening, they're like, "What'd that motherfucker say?" [chuckle]
0:23:44.0 Cody McBroom: They're like, "Fuck you, man."
[chuckle]
0:23:47.0 Cody McBroom: No, it's funny, you gotta go through Aberdeen on the way, which is where Kurt Cobain is from. Nirvana, Foo Fighter guy, like all that. And again, it's a huge shithole. I mean, not that Nirvana wouldn't give that away, but that's on the way.
[chuckle]
0:24:00.7 Cody McBroom: Then you get to Ocean Shores and it's like a cool little quaint town, like some fishers live there and shit. But it's just, it's fun. So we go there every year, and last year we went and we went in June, late June, Father's Day weekend. It's supposed to be nice. I will go to the water. Rained the whole time.
0:24:16.2 Jared Hamilton: Oh wow.
0:24:16.9 Cody McBroom: It's like stuck in this little cottage. My daughter is just miserable, she just wants to go play in the sand and we can't, 'cause it's raining. So this whole day we couldn't go to lunch at our reservations 'cause she was throwing a fit, like the arcade thing didn't work. It was just all this crap, right?
0:24:29.2 Cody McBroom: And so my wife's like, "Let's just go. Let's just go home." My daughter's pissed. And I literally, I remember doing this and this is a great example of just deciding to shift, I literally just flipped a U'ey, went into this random parking lot to this little grocery mart, and she's like, "What are you doing?" I was like, "I'll be back." And I just stormed out to the car.
0:24:46.6 Cody McBroom: Came back with fucking sandwich buns, lettuce, deli meat, a rack of Mexican beer with chips and guac for me and my wife, we're gonna make sandwiches for our daughter. I just had everything there. And I got this weird little like... You know those like paddle with the string and the ball?
0:25:03.8 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, like a paddle ball? Yeah paddle ball.
0:25:05.1 Cody McBroom: Little like games that are like two bucks for my daughter. And I just pull back in the car with all these bags. She's like, "What are we doing?" I was like, "We're going home, we're gonna have a picnic inside and everybody's gonna chill out and have fun. Nobody's saying a word, we're listening to music 'til we get there." And I just turn up the music, drove for probably five, 10 minutes to get our little cottage.
0:25:24.6 Cody McBroom: I started making stuff, popped open a couple of Coronas, we drank. Everything shifted.
0:25:30.0 Jared Hamilton: That's awesome.
0:25:31.7 Cody McBroom: Yeah. I remember seeing the look in my wife's eyes and it was just different, it was different of how she saw me and respected me. And I remember that moment 'cause that was the first time I did something like that in the family setting. But it's a perfect example of this, and I remember that and I try to apply that in everything now, 'cause it's like, you don't have to wait.
0:25:51.3 Cody McBroom: I could have said, "Yeah, fuck this, let's go home." Like "this is a waste of money, let's drive three hours home and then let's be miserable." Or "let's all ignore each other in the cottage." No, we're shifting. We're enjoying this. And I didn't give anybody an option.
0:26:02.6 Cody McBroom: And you shouldn't give yourself an option if you need to shift gears and do what needs to be done in that moment. Because if I had something shitty going this morning, am I gonna let that bleed into this podcast? Or do I walk into this room and I snap at it 'cause I'm like, "Now I'm having a conversation with Jared."
0:26:19.1 Cody McBroom: Because you didn't do anything to me, I didn't do anything to you. Nothing affected this situation, something shitty happened before this. Which it didn't.
[chuckle]
0:26:26.4 Cody McBroom: But if it did, I'm not gonna let that impact the next thing or the next interaction that I have with somebody. And again, that's for yourself too, like why let things linger into your goals, into your actions, into your attitude, your environment, your energy or anything like that, when it just doesn't have to? And if it does, you're choosing to let it. Plain and simple.
0:26:45.0 Jared Hamilton: That's so good. That's so good. That's like goes back to the old saying of like, "We didn't have a bad moment, we had a bad... " Or, "We had a bad moment, there's no reason to let the bad moment bleed into a bad day," or whatever. You know what I mean?
0:26:58.2 Cody McBroom: Mm-hmm.
0:27:00.7 Jared Hamilton: I love the story around that with your family, 'cause that just shows how powerful intention and deliberate action in the now makes. You know what I mean? 'Cause if you would have thought, if like said, "Oh, should I do this? I can't." You would have talked yourself out of it, right?
0:27:16.3 Jared Hamilton: But as soon as you had this part of you that's like, "Here's what I know I should do," you turned on Daddy energy and you just made the fucking decision. That's so good, man.
0:27:23.8 Cody McBroom: Dude, and I have to say this too, just to like for context. My wife has a very strong personality. She's a strong woman. When I met her, she's very independent, so she was a hustler. Dude, our first house was in her name, she was the bread winner, like she is a boss. She was like, "I'm not being a stay at home mom. No."
0:27:45.5 Cody McBroom: And then she saw our daughter come out and she was like, "Okay, I'm down." And I'm like, "Alright, cool." 'Cause I told her, I was like, "You're never gonna go back to work. I'm gonna make this happen." She was like, "Okay, I believe you, but I'm going back."
0:27:54.5 Jared Hamilton: That's awesome.
0:27:55.4 Cody McBroom: But point being is that it's not easy to shift when you have a strong personality wife, 'cause her and I are both stubborn people, so to her, she's like, "No, this is done. Like it's ruined. We're not doing anything."
0:28:06.4 Cody McBroom: And so it's the... What is that saying? "Don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness" kind of thing. I didn't have to ask for forgiveness, but it's the same thing, it's like don't ask for permission. Just do the work and do take action. If it doesn't work out, what's the worst that can happen? What is the worst that can happen?
0:28:20.7 Jared Hamilton: It was already shitty to begin with. Right? [chuckle]
0:28:23.6 Cody McBroom: Bingo. Bingo. Yeah. And it's the same thing with people, "Wait until April 1st or Monday," or whatever. It's like, what's the worst that could happen if you started right now? Like okay, do 20% instead of 100% today. Be 100% tomorrow if you really want to. But like, come on.
0:28:38.4 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, no, I agree completely. Well, when it comes to the physically fitness-y, weight loss-y stuff, 'cause you're right, people go instantly, "Well, one day won't make a difference." Or, "This weekend won't make a difference." But I will fully believe in this concept that I've been calling "mental momentum".
0:28:51.8 Jared Hamilton: Because we all know even on Monday, it's gonna take a minute before the physical results catch-up. People are like, "I've been eating a calorie deficit for three weeks. Why aren't I shredding?" 'Cause I'm like, "It's been three fucking weeks." It's like anything, it's like start posting on Instagram on Monday wondering why your business isn't growing by Thursday. Right?
[chuckle]
0:29:12.0 Jared Hamilton: So it's like that time is gonna pass regardless, number one. It's just less... It's one day less you have to wait. But I think mental momentum is so underrated, especially in this realm. Because yeah, it may be, let's say 25... Let's say maybe someone's super tired and their workout's gonna be 25%. Or let's say their eating is all over the place and they're just gonna make a few better decisions and their calories are gonna be a little bit less.
0:29:36.4 Jared Hamilton: So the physical result may not be as much, like logically, that's where people try to out-logic it, but you can't get on the other side of mental momentum, because we can't have physical momentum and physical goal... Or sorry, physical results, until we have mental momentum. And I think people forget that thing, that we have to get this mental momentum even in the absence of physical results.
0:29:57.8 Cody McBroom: Yeah, I love that, dude. I love that. Mental momentum, that makes a lot of sense. And I think that one thing that I always try to tell people with regard to that, is that when you do these little things, you're developing traits that apply to the mindset, and those traits apply to the physical.
0:30:13.8 Cody McBroom: So when somebody says, "What is one day? What is it like one weekend off. What is all this... What is that gonna really do for my physical results?" Maybe nothing. But if you say no and you do it by choice, that develops willpower, self-control and commitment.
0:30:31.4 Cody McBroom: If you choose to wake up early and take a cold shower and then going to run or whatever, or write in your journal, or anything, you're developing self-respect, self-awareness, self-appreciation, self-value, which means you're gonna treat yourself better.
0:30:43.4 Cody McBroom: Then you start to develop these two parallel things, the side of valuing and respecting your body for what it is, and then you're developing these mindset traits, which, they're traits because they're skills. You're not born with them. I wasn't born with discipline, I developed discipline.
0:31:00.1 Cody McBroom: And this whole thing, people always talk about this with entrepreneurship too, and they're like, "Are they built or are they born?" And although some people will say there's something in your DNA, and I actually think they're even doing some research on this kind of thing. I partially listen to a podcast of Huberman's with some scientists, and they were talking about how they're starting to try to extract that, which is wild.
0:31:20.5 Jared Hamilton: Crazy. Huberman's a crazy motherfucker. I love it. [chuckle]
0:31:26.2 Cody McBroom: He's wild. I still believe it's built. Only from the standpoint of like I think of like, okay, so now if somebody looked at me like, "You were born to do this," and I would agree. But nobody in my family has ever been an entrepreneur. Ever. And so I'm like, "Okay, well what made me that way?"
0:31:39.7 Cody McBroom: And I think back of like my childhood, I was the king of trading Pokemon cards and shit. I was hustling those things. And then I remember when Craigslist was not like a sketchy thing for a 13-year-old to use, I was like finding shit in my garage that my parents didn't need and I was selling it on Craigslist and meeting people in the Albertson's parking on my way home from school.
[chuckle]
0:32:02.1 Cody McBroom: I did things like that, and I had these entrepreneurial pursuits that allowed me to develop that, and it was because I had a desire to honestly have cool shit, I had to desire to like... I remember going to the skatepark and not having the dope skate shoes or skateboard, and I was like, "I wanna get a new board, new bearings, I gotta hustle to get it." And so it's bred over time, and that's the same thing with any type of trait that develops a person.
0:32:26.0 Cody McBroom: So the traits that develop somebody who is gonna be, who's gonna have a great physique or really strong or be... I know you do Brazilian jiu-jitsu, so being great at BJJ, anything like that, it's discipline, it's self-control, it is self-respect. It is these willpower, these grit, like this grind.
0:32:43.9 Cody McBroom: 'Cause there's good to be days where you don't feel like going and rolling on the mat, and there's gonna be days where you go up to a competitor, you just know you're gonna get your ass whooped, and it's like, "Okay. Well, I gotta do this." And it's being able to do it even thought you don't want to, or you're scared or anything like that.
0:32:57.6 Cody McBroom: Those are the things that carry over and they do transform your physique long-term. Because there's gonna be a million more situations where you need to have self-control or discipline or willpower or grit, or maybe just have a little bit instead of the whole thing. And if you don't have those traits, you won't be able to stop at one cookie or stop at just a beer or two, you know what I mean? You're gonna go all in, and that's a big problem in long-term sustainability.
0:33:21.3 Cody McBroom: You gotta have that. So I think that although they're right in saying, "It's not gonna transform my physiques now," that momentum you're talking about, it's because you're developing these traits and those traits carry over into everything over time.
0:33:34.0 Jared Hamilton: When people say that it's such short game thinking. That's like everyone knows investment accounts are probably important for people, like Roth IRA or mutual funds. There's gonna be nothing in that account, that account's not gonna be worth hardly anything until you're like 70 and then it'll have a few million dollars in it.
0:33:51.3 Jared Hamilton: But imagine if we treated everything like that? "Well it's just one day of work. It's just one day of not brushing my teeth." So right now, this is a crazy jiu-jitsu week for me. Our big big professor, only he comes to see us a couple of times a year. I have my professor, but then my professor's professor, who's like the world champ.
0:34:12.7 Cody McBroom: I love that they're called the professor.
0:34:14.1 Jared Hamilton: Oh yeah, so when you get... When you're a coach, or so when someone gets a black belt who teaches, they are labeled "professor". And they actually have, if you ever see a black belt with white stripes by their feet, this little piece of fabric, like the red piece of fabric, if they have white stripes on each end of it, those are the professor stripes. That's like that is the professor.
0:34:37.2 Jared Hamilton: So our big professor was in town, so he's in town this weekend, so I got mutilated this morning, and then I'm going back tonight to get mutilated, and then I'm gonna get mutilated tomorrow morning. So it's great.
[chuckle]
0:34:51.2 Jared Hamilton: But he called the whole class out today 'cause some white belts were being shit heads. We were in the middle of hard drills, like this guy doesn't play around, he's a short little dude from Philly, neck tatted up, a blacked up arm, has Philly swagger. He doesn't fuck around at all. And he goes and like every example he uses is like, "We're dragging them to their grave. Your snapping their arm off." He's so aggressive.
0:35:13.6 Jared Hamilton: But the reason for this, he gave us very specific instructions in this set of drills that we were doing, and he stopped everyone, he's like, "Hey." And he goes, "Some of you guys can't even listen, aren't even listening to directions 'cause you have zero discipline."
0:35:29.4 Jared Hamilton: He goes, "You're not... I said start on the buzzer. You're starting before the buzzer. I gave guy on top these instructions, guy on the bottom these instructions, you guys aren't even listening to those." He goes, "So if you're here, and ironically you have shitty jiu-jitsu, the two people that are doing... "
0:35:41.8 Jared Hamilton: He said that, he's like, "Ironically, the two white belts doing that have shitty jiu-jitsu," but he said, "if you can't go when I told you to go and just listen to the buzzer or base basic instructions, how on earth do you plan on me showing you these badass moves that you guys brought me in to show you?
0:35:58.4 Jared Hamilton: And he called all these white belts out because it was that, their discipline was so shitty. So he's like, "If you can't learn to just listen to basic ass instructions, how do you plan on me being able to teach you the intricate moves that you really want to see?"
0:36:15.3 Jared Hamilton: It's because that discipline scales, and if you have shitty discipline in your nutrition, it's probably because you're lacking it somewhere else, like, "Oh, I'll start over Monday." Or "Oh, it's fine. Fuck it." Or things like that. 'Cause it 100% scales.
0:36:28.2 Cody McBroom: It's a standard of life. And it doesn't mean you need to be David Goggins with this shit, it just means that if you're gonna try to become disciplined with your diet, you should probably be disciplined with other things. And you can tell the type of person it is. So for example, I will...
0:36:40.0 Cody McBroom: We have a detached garage, so we have this driveway that goes around our house to the detached garage on the other side, and so we have tools and my daughter's little street toys and shit in there. And there's been construction and the construction will blow, 'cause we're in the end of the cul-de-sac, and it will blow garbage around the house and it'll tuck in. And sometimes it's literally like a little speck of paper.
0:37:03.3 Cody McBroom: But it goes back there, it goes in the grass in front of our sidewalk that goes over towards our neighbors and stuff. I'm one of the only people out there, every time I'm walking around when my daughter's playing, I'm like picking up little things. I don't go search for it, but if I walk by it, I pick it up.
0:37:15.9 Cody McBroom: Because it's a trait, it's a discipline. It's like, do one thing like you do everything. So when I... And I actually learned a lot of this from 1st Phorm, man. When I went there and I'm like, I take a pee and I go over to wash my hands and there's a guy, just a normal cubicle worker washing his hands and he wipes down every droplet of fucking water on the sink, on the hand, everything.
0:37:35.6 Cody McBroom: And I'm just like, "Holy shit."
0:37:37.3 Jared Hamilton: Whoa. [chuckle]
0:37:39.8 Cody McBroom: "That's why they don't have janitors and cleaners in this place." Which mind you is like 30,000 square feet. It's huge. I'm like...
0:37:43.1 Jared Hamilton: It's stupid.
0:37:44.5 Cody McBroom: And it's a standard. And it taught me a lot of that. But I'm just like, I think that you have to apply these things everywhere, you know? And sometimes it means eliminating the need to use it for a while until the result you're achieving because it's gone, becomes great enough to where it's easier. And so it's kind of a complex way of looking at it.
0:38:01.1 Cody McBroom: But if you think about food and you struggle a lot with discipline to not eat X, Y, Z 'cause it's your favorite little treat and it's always at your house, whatever. Just fucking throw it away, get rid of it, don't see it for a while. And then after X amount of weeks when you've noticed your adherence is through the roof, you've got like 20 red checks is in a row, 'cause you've adhered every day in a row, your macro's on point, you've lost a few pounds.
0:38:24.6 Cody McBroom: Now you can be around that thing. And the reward you've achieved from keeping it away is great enough to where you don't have as high of a temptation, you don't need as much willpower, because the reward you received is greater than the reward you will receive from eating that thing. You know?
0:38:38.9 Cody McBroom: And I think that means it doesn't mean cut it out forever. It means that in order to build discipline around that thing, sometimes you do have to eliminate it temporarily so that you can step back in and understand how to control yourself in that setting, which is a really easy thing to do. But it, but it's massively impactful to somebody's results. And that's why sometimes elimination is actually the best thing. You know? Just remove it for a little bit and then bring it in.
0:39:00.4 Jared Hamilton: I think it's interesting. I think one of the things is a saying I've been using a lot lately is what's easy to do is... I'm sorry, is in so many cases, what's easy to do is easier not to do, which is the one thing that makes something astronomically hard for a lot of people. Like making your bed. Making a bed's easy as fuck. It's a thousand times easier to not make it though. Right?
0:39:20.6 Jared Hamilton: Which is why most people don't make their bed. That trash you're talking about, it was so easy to pick it up, right? Easy as fuck. But it was like at scale a thousand times easier to go, "Wasn't my trash. It's halfway in my neighbor's yard. It's, no one's, my wife isn't even gonna see it. It's fine. It's about the size of a quarter anyway." But I think for most people, that's where it's the little disciplines that I think that people have the most amount of trouble with.
0:39:43.9 Jared Hamilton: Like people go to jobs they hate for like eight hours a day. That's like my biggest nightmare. It's like how, like I don't get how people... I could never go work for someone, right? But I think that sounds crazy hard, but that's a huge discipline is going to work every single day at a job you hate or whatever the case is.
0:40:01.8 Jared Hamilton: But why is it cleaning the droplets up around the sink or picking up the piece of trash in your yard, or making your bed or just having one cookie instead of the whole pack. Like I've said for years now, like when fixing your relationship with food, the reason teaching yourself moderation is so hard is because it takes the most mental bandwidth.
0:40:18.8 Jared Hamilton: It's easy to say, "Fuck it," and eat all of it. It's easy to say, "I can't have any of it," and clear it, but it takes so much more mental bandwidth to stop after one or two because it's easier not to. And I think that's where so many people miss the mark.
0:40:32.0 Cody McBroom: And the people who can successfully do this over time are the deep thinkers. Like some people listen to everything you and I just said and be like, "Goddamn, they really thought hard about this."
[laughter]
0:40:42.8 Cody McBroom: It's like you have to, you kind of have to stop and connect the dots, you know? So I can think of two really good examples of this that apply elsewhere in life that will help shed some light, I think, on doing this in fitness or anything else. So one is, I would... I'm a diet soda guy. I love diet soda, so I'll have...
0:40:58.3 Jared Hamilton: Bro, I've got a diet Pepsi right in front of me. [chuckle]
0:41:00.5 Cody McBroom: I was gonna say diet Pepsi and Diet Root Beer are always in my fridge, bro.
0:41:02.7 Jared Hamilton: Let's go.
0:41:05.0 Cody McBroom: And no, I'm not a diet Coke guy. People always say like, I have a...
0:41:07.8 Jared Hamilton: No, appreciate it.
0:41:07.9 Cody McBroom: I have a buddy that's like, "Oh my god, you like Pepsi?" And I'm like, "You drink Coke?" And I'm like, "Yeah."
0:41:12.0 Jared Hamilton: I can tell.
0:41:13.6 Cody McBroom: I'm like, "Okay." I like Pepsi better, but it's not gross compared. I'll drink a Diet Coke if that's all the restaurant has, like, "Chill out bro." But so anyway, I would drink some, I'd finish the can and I would put it next to the sink, right? The re-cycling's under the sink and I'd just put it next to the sink and I'll take care of it later. That's just like, I just, it's easier. I just put it right there, right?
0:41:33.4 Cody McBroom: And my wife would get mad. And then I would get mad. I'm like, "Why are you tripping? It's literally a can of pop next to the sink. Who cares?" And so we had this battle of like, "Why can't you just throw it away? It's so easy." And I'm like, "Why do you care? It's not a big deal."
0:41:46.1 Cody McBroom: And then somebody, a close friend, like friend and somebody I was just bullshitting with, John Romaniello, he was like, he was like, "That sounds fucking stupid. I mean, you care more about leaving a can there than making your wife happy?" And I was like. "Goddamn."
0:42:01.9 Jared Hamilton: Wow. Wow.
0:42:03.1 Cody McBroom: I was like, "Fuck you man." And so I'm like, "Okay." And he was like, "Just think about it, dude. Like you can literally easily do that." Just like you said, it's just as easy to throw it away as it is to set it there. "And why it matters to her shouldn't matter to you. What should matter to you is the fact that it would make her happy if you just threw it away." And I was like, "You're right."
0:42:20.0 Cody McBroom: And so the next time I just did it and I apologized for not doing it, I was like, "That was ridiculously immature. Like, I don't even know what I was thinking." And it changed the dynamic. Again, it just added another layer to our relationship being positive, you know? And so when you do these little tiny things, it adds up.
0:42:37.9 Cody McBroom: The other example is financially. So another conversation me and my wife had was like, okay, so we had Hulu, Amazon Prime, Paramount+, Starz, Showtime, Disney+, Netflix, we got all this shit, right?
0:42:52.4 Cody McBroom: And I'm like, "Okay, what are our top three? We're eliminating the rest." And it's like, "Well, why? We can afford them. It's not that big a deal. They're like 5 bucks each." And I'm like, "I know. But 5 bucks times 5 is 25 bucks. It's not much, but it adds up."
0:43:05.1 Jared Hamilton: Sure.
0:43:05.3 Cody McBroom: And then it's like, "Why are we buying Advil? Just buy the Kroger brand. Why? Advil's better." I'm like, "Is it though? Like save a dollar." You know? And so when you do those things, they stack up and then after a while you're like, "Hey, guess what? This is why we have savings. This is why we can go to Disneyland. This is why we have these things." Because you can save money on shit that does not matter at all.
0:43:25.6 Cody McBroom: And most people look at that and they go, "It's just a dollar, it's just a few bucks. Like, what's the big deal?" I'm the type that's like it, does that really matter to me? No. Okay. I'm not spending a few bucks. Because I'm gonna stack the cash. It just doesn't make any sense.
0:43:38.9 Cody McBroom: And I know it's a weird example, but I did a post recently where I actually did the math of like common purchases and I did like three or four things and it equaled like over $400 a month for the average American. And I actually went to research and was like, "What does the average American spend on coffee every day? What does the average American spend on streaming every month?"
0:43:55.2 Cody McBroom: And I added up for the month and I'm like, "You want coaching, you can get... If you do this for 90 days, you can hire us for more than 90 days. Literally." So it's so easy. And those things will not make your life worse at all. You know what I mean? But it's just those small things to stack up.
0:44:11.7 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. Dude, it's interesting. I think it, that conversation is huge. Where I think it comes down to the, like what's your, what someone's priority is right now. That's the thing, is I think where someone spends their money is the biggest indicator, where they spend their time and money, the biggest indicators of the what that person values. I don't even need to talk to you. Show me your bank statement and I'll show you what matters most.
0:44:34.7 Jared Hamilton: 'Cause out of the same mouth, like out of the same mouth or the same person, it'll be like that. They're going, they're spending $80 a week at Starbucks, $100 a week on their nails. All the different things. And not that like do I think people shouldn't spend their money on stupid shit, but it's a priority thing.
0:44:52.4 Jared Hamilton: But if out of the same mouth you're also saying, "Hey, I've been fat my whole life and it's affecting my mental health. I can't... My kids are starting to act like I do around food now, so the generational bullshit is happening. And oh, now it's affecting my marriage because I don't wanna feel intimate with my husband now."
0:45:08.3 Jared Hamilton: It's like, bro, there's a, there's an easy fix. There's a very simple fix. It just comes down to what you prioritize most. But you're right, it's the discipline of the, of that purchase or that dollar, it's everything.
0:45:18.1 Cody McBroom: Yeah. And look, everybody has different things that matter most. I'm like, I had somebody give me shit 'cause I get, I actually didn't this month, but usually I get my haircut every week. Every single week I go to the barber, get shave, haircut, all that stuff. So I spend, absolutely spend more money than you need to on a fucking haircut. Trust me.
[chuckle]
0:45:33.8 Cody McBroom: But the person that gave me shit, I was like, "When was the last time you got some shoes?" And they were like, "It was like this month." And I'm like, "How much were those shoes?" And they told me and I was like, "When was the last pair?" And like they're a sneakerhead. And I'm like, "Okay. I haven't bought shoes in a minute. And when I did, they were Chucks." 'Cause I don't give a shit about shoes.
0:45:50.6 Cody McBroom: So I care about looking good, feeling good, and having a downtime for an hour where I can't talk, can't text, I just talk with my barber, we just bullshit, listen to music. I enjoy that. And it's less than shoes. So like, there's things that...
0:46:01.1 Jared Hamilton: So much less than shoes.
[chuckle]
0:46:02.7 Cody McBroom: There's absolutely things that you can use in that regard. But I think ultimately it's manage... It's sacrificing certain things too, just to lead to more success. You said it best, like you're prioritizing what matters most to you. But a lot of times what that really boils down to, whether it's we're talking about saving money or having these difficult conversations with my wife, or being the first one to initiate that, even if we're both wrong, it's being the first one to admit it so that we can move past it. Choosing to do that.
0:46:28.9 Cody McBroom: Or shifting the mood of my family, or deciding not to wait 'till Monday to start the diet. Whatever the situation is, it's on you. That's what extreme ownership is. Going back to what we originally said at the beginning, it's like everything is your responsibility. Everything is your fault. Take ownership and everything in your life will change.
0:46:44.7 Cody McBroom: Because when you start taking ownership and you stop blaming others or other situations or making excuses, dude, everything in your life just starts moving forward faster because now all of a sudden you control things. And I don't think people realize that. But when you point the blame at somebody or at something else, what you're doing is putting control and power into that thing or that person instead of in yourself.
0:47:05.2 Cody McBroom: You're literally taking the power and control from you and giving it to somebody else and basically saying, "I can't control my success. I can't control my life. I can't control my happiness. This thing does." Fuck that. You're in control of everything. And I've had this conversation with plenty of people where it's like, "I understand how that could make you upset, but you're choosing to let it make you upset. What if you chose for it to not make you upset?"
0:47:28.0 Cody McBroom: And of course that conversation's always like, "Well, that's impossible. That's so hard." And you can work through it, but at the end of the day, it's like, no really, like your emotions are in your control. It is not as easy...
0:47:35.3 Jared Hamilton: Absolutely.
0:47:36.3 Cody McBroom: It's easier said than done, of course. I understand that. 'Cause I'm sure people are thinking that right now. But the truth is, if we look at every happy, successful, balanced person who's fit, anything, that's all it is. They just choose to control everything. And what they can't control, they just accept and move on and start controlling the next thing they can control. They take ownership.
0:47:54.8 Jared Hamilton: Right. It goes back so much to like, to just owning that, right? It's one of the things that my thing that we talk with clients about a lot is when any time someone's faced with unprecedented circumstances or things are crazy, is like take a step back, stop emotionally regulate, take a step back and go, "What's in my control right now and what's not?"
0:48:13.4 Jared Hamilton: If it's not in your control, you're not allowed to stress about it anymore. An analogy I use is, imagine if it's raining and your car windows are down and you're trying to stop the rain. You're gonna give yourself a panic attack. It's like trying to stop the rain. I'm like, or you could just put your fucking windows up and be a big kid.
0:48:30.2 Jared Hamilton: But it goes down to like being resourceful. This is one of my favorite things about jiu-jitsu, is you're put in the most uncomfortable, horrendous situations and you want to emotionally panic, but when you emotionally panic, you suffocate and get tapped or die.
0:48:45.9 Jared Hamilton: But it makes you emotionally regulate and go, "What do I still have in my control? Homeboy's got this arm way out of position, so I can't do anything with that. I can get on my side. I can frame with this arm, I can slow my breathing down, I can do whatever with my legs." But during crazy chaos and uncertainty and stress.
0:49:08.4 Jared Hamilton: But that doesn't have to stop on the mats, that can go into real life, is the mortgage is due, you're behind on bills, your kid's being a little terrorist and you lost your job. Like all this crazy stuff. It's like well, "Well, what can I still take control of? What can I still execute on? What do I still have? What can I own?"
0:49:24.9 Jared Hamilton: And then now your brain opens up to being resourceful. You wanna talk about neural pathways and crazy shit. It's now your brain is looking for resources. Versus when we're a victim and they're like, "Oh, I can't catch a break. When it rains, it pours." Your brain goes, "Bet. You're right. You're just an unlucky son of a bitch." [chuckle] And you never win.
0:49:40.9 Cody McBroom: Dude, every single successful, I know this has happened to me many times and every person who has like an insane story of success or anything, there's always like this crazy story of like, "I had zero options. I had everything against me, I had no opportunity." There's always like their back is in the corner.
0:49:56.0 Cody McBroom: But like you said, when they choose to go, "I'm still gonna make this happen. I'm still gonna make a change. I'm still gonna reach my goal," whatever it is, they become resourceful and they make shit happen. And the amount of times I like, if somebody like says, "I can't accomplish this," I'm like, "If I put a gun to your head and everybody in your family's head, would you fucking do this?"
0:50:15.3 Cody McBroom: "Well, yeah." "Okay, then you can do it. You just haven't figured out how to do it yet. And that's okay. Let's figure out how to do it." But the reality is, is you can. So stop saying you can't, you won't, or you haven't figured out how. And that's a different story, you know? So have you heard the word "equanimity"?
0:50:29.0 Jared Hamilton: Oh bro, it's tattooed on my wrist. I actually have...
0:50:31.9 Cody McBroom: Oh, I think we talked about this. Yes.
0:50:33.2 Jared Hamilton: Bro, I have tattoos on my wrist that says "ambition and equanimity". 'Cause I feel like it's the magic dichotomy in like the magical Venn diagram. Dude, equanimity is my shit. It's my...
0:50:42.6 Cody McBroom: That's what you just broke down, dude.
0:50:43.2 Jared Hamilton: It's my word. [chuckle]
0:50:44.7 Cody McBroom: Really. So that's, it's funny 'cause I've wanted, I've run out of room, but I want, 'cause I have "ambition" right here.
0:50:50.0 Jared Hamilton: You really are... You really are running out of room. [chuckle]
0:50:52.8 Cody McBroom: I'm covered, man. I have, yeah I have "ambition" across my fore arm on this side. But I don't have "equanimity" yet. But equanimity is controlling yourself and the results that are coming in the chaos essentially, right?
0:51:01.9 Cody McBroom: What you explained with jiu-jitsu is exactly that, man. If you can sit there in the moment and actually think about your next move, like you're playing fucking chess while somebody's trying to rip your arm out of its socket, that is the definition of equanimity. In business, that's what it is. In fitness, that's what it is. In life, that's what it is.
0:51:20.8 Cody McBroom: Because guess what? There's always something. There's always a birthday party, there's always a work event, there's always travel, there's always a sick kid. There's always some kind of roadblock. There's always a bill to be paid. There's always something. No matter what.
0:51:32.5 Cody McBroom: Equanimity is your ability to still make shit happen despite all those things happening to you. Or not even to you. They're happening around you. And I gotta retract that, because if you think they're happening to you, that's where you fuck up and you become a victim. And you can't be a victim if you're gonna be a winner.
0:51:45.2 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, no, without a doubt. Dude, "equanimity" is like my favorite word ever. It's what's funny is...
0:51:51.2 Cody McBroom: When did you hear it originally?
0:51:52.8 Jared Hamilton: So, okay, here's what's funny. I actually heard it a million times, but I never took it to heart. Well, who opened my eyes up to it originally was Ed Mylett.
0:52:02.7 Cody McBroom: Same.
0:52:02.9 Jared Hamilton: Ed Mylett started talking about "equanimity, equanimity". And I'm like, dude, as soon as I heard that, like the what it truly means, I'm like, "This is it. This is like it's my word." Right? It's like my word of the, my word of the year, my whatever. It's just, I've never had something resonate so hard. It's like, "Oh, that's it. That's what I need to lean in more on."
0:52:19.7 Jared Hamilton: And I feel like I'm currently the most equanimous, if that's a word, I've ever been, because I struggled with the dichotomy of ambition and equanimity. Because if you put ambition on its extreme end, it's nowhere near equanimity. And one could argue equanimity has no room for ambition because it's so released from outcomes and emotionally neutral.
0:52:41.9 Jared Hamilton: So I have this belief that the magic is if we had a Venn diagram where the two, the circles cross is equanimity and ambition, and there is a space where they coexist and I think that's where people make a lot of cool shit happen. But what's funny, as soon as I heard Ed Mylett talking about it, and I knew I had to get an equanimity tattoo.
0:53:01.9 Jared Hamilton: What's funny is a lot of the books that I was reading or I was rereading, they were just like, they'd have chapters on equanimity. And I'm like, "How did I not?" One of my favorite books ever, like one of my favorite books to date, it's from the 1940s, it's James Allen's, As a Man Thinketh. That motherfucker's talking about equanimity.
0:53:16.7 Jared Hamilton: I'm like, I've read that book a dozen times and I don't remember that. Or I listened to The Obstacle Is the Way recently and all of a sudden he had a whole chapter on equanimity. And I'm like, every time I turned around it was that, so I'm like, "Alright, I'm getting a tattoo." [chuckle]
0:53:30.0 Cody McBroom: It's something about the way Ed says it. 'Cause it's the same thing for me. I've read it many times, I've read Obstacle Is the Way multiple times and...
0:53:36.9 Jared Hamilton: It's such a good book.
0:53:38.3 Cody McBroom: It is. And I heard, this is actually why I got into even 1 Phorm, man. I had... Somebody on my team sent me the podcast with Ed Mylett on, with Andy Frisella. And she sent to me, she was like, "Hey, I know you don't really listen to this podcast. You gotta listen to it." And I was like, "Alright." I didn't have anything against Andy, I just never listened to it.
0:53:56.8 Cody McBroom: It's just funny 'cause I'm a podcaster, but I don't listen to a ton of podcasts. But like I listened to it and I listened to it like two or three times and it was that chunk where he was talking about equanimity that just hit me so fucking hard. And I was like, "I love this word."
0:54:09.0 Cody McBroom: And then I started listening to the podcast more and then like out of just pure coincidence Damion reached out to me, he was like, "I have been following your stuff, man. Like, love it. Just wanted to shout you out." And I was like, "Hey dude, like can we get on the phone and talk?" And then we built a relationship. And now obviously...