Dieting From The Inside Out
A Busy Mom's Guide to Weight Loss with Coach Sydnee | DFIO Ep.251
About Today’s Episode:
Today, I wanted to do an episode for all the busy moms out there who are trying to make their goals happen—trying to lose weight, juggle family life, and feel better—but are struggling with how to make it all happen.
Because mom-life is chaotic.
The majority of our client base are busy moms, so I wanted to bring in our newest coach, Coach Sydnee—who is a busy mom herself—for this episode.
Sydnee has been crushing it since she joined us and she’s got a lot of insight for busy moms out there because she has firsthand experience going through this.
She used to be upwards of 300 lbs, she has 3 kids, and now she’s a fitness professional, helping people transform their lives.
I’m REALLY excited for you all to hear this episode, so let’s get into it!
00:26 About Today’s Episode
04:45 Sydnee’s Story
09:21 Did You See Yourself Becoming a Coach
11:12 Where Busy Moms Go Wrong with Their Weight Loss
13:00 Dealing with Mom Guilt
19:23 Finding Middle Ground
25:21 Getting Started with Exercise
31:40 Goals When You Have a Bad Day
41:20 Other Advice for Busy Moms
43:19 Loving Yourself
51:05 Jared’s outro and how to apply for coaching
Transcript (click to expand)
A Busy Mom's Guide to Weight Loss with Coach Sydnee | DFIO Ep.251
0:00:00.0 Sydnee Coombe: Decide for yourself that you wanna show up for yourself and make that change. It takes a lot of that self-talk and like reminding your brain like, "This is okay," "consistency is better than perfection," and I think over time, you prove it to yourself that you can just be consistent, not perfect, and still get results. You are not Sally down the street, embrace your own self and your own body and learn to love yourself, because that's how you're ultimately gonna have the most success.
0:00:27.1 Jared Hamilton: What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of Dieting from the Inside Out. If you are new here, welcome to the show, my name is Jared Hamilton, and man, am I pumped for you to be here for today's episode because I wanted to bring a special guest on here and specifically talk to the busy moms who listen to the show. Because I am not a busy mom, even though, yeah, we predominantly coach a lot of busy moms, I just thought it would be a little bit more relatable and a little bit better for you if I actually brought on someone who is a busy mom themselves, who not only have creative results for other clients, and who has done this through themselves, I just think it would be really, really relatable and such a good idea, and I think you get a lot of value from it.
0:01:08.6 Jared Hamilton: So today, we are talking to all the busy moms that listen to the show, and I'm talking about those of you who have the goals that you wanna achieve, you're trying to lose the weight, you're trying to feel better, but life just seems to be drowning you in chaos. I'm talking about the kids, the husband, work, the dog, everything where it's like, you just feel like you can't make it and not quite sure how to make all this happen, and you just feel kind of trapped and just drowning by life and mom life, that's who we're talking to in today's episode. So I got my... Actually, she's our newest coach. She just joined the team. I had Coach Sydnee come on board and she is crushing it, she's doing so well, and she is such an amazing asset to the team now, and she is just doing super well inside our coaching program. So I wanted to have her come on and tell a little bit about her story because Sydnee's got a little bit of a different story.
0:01:58.4 Jared Hamilton: She has three kids and she's gone through this game herself, she used to weigh upwards of like 300 pounds, and then now she coaches people and it's like, it's such a crazy whirlwind of how she went from weighing almost 300 pounds struggling with binge-eating and the whole nine yards, to now she's a fitness professional who has transformed her life and transforms other people's lives, and it's in the trenches coaching people, and it's just the coolest thing ever, and I just saw there's so much value, and I think her story would resonate with so many of you so that's why I had her come on to the show. Now, before we get into all the goods, I did wanna have a huge thank you to the sponsors of the show.
0:02:32.7 Jared Hamilton: Sponsor number one is FlexPro Meals, and I did not have any FlexPro Meals on my trip to Orlando. I was in Orlando all week last week and I did not have any with me, I didn't. I totally spaced on bringing them on with me, so I did not have any, and fuck, I wish I did. It would have been so much cheaper and so much easier, and I would have felt so much better, so I didn't have to eat out so much. But definitely if you are into having your food a little more streamlined, really, really good tasting made by a chef, but is also perfectly in line for all of your goals where you don't have to think about the food side of this stuff, definitely go check out FlexPro Meals. If you use my code "HamiltonTrained", you'll save like 20% at check out, which is pretty dope. Either go to the link in the description or go to flexpromeals.com, and I'm telling you guys, they are a game changer. I keep getting messages from people and clients and friends who have ordered them and they're just like, "Holy shit, this is amazing." So definitely check them out.
0:03:27.4 Jared Hamilton: Now, sponsor number two, which is 1st Phorm. I actually don't have a 1st Phorm shirt on today, I do have on a 1st Phorm hat, but huge thank you to 1st Phorm for their love and support, because when it comes to this game of nutrition and results and transformation, results are definitely not all predicated in supplements, but for most people, they have a really hard time reaching everything they need to reach with just food alone. Most people are not eating enough fish to get Omega benefits, most people are not eating their six to eight servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Most people have a really hard time hitting enough protein to make them feel full and to recover well and to lose more weight and things like that.
0:04:04.8 Jared Hamilton: So if that's you and you are struggling to meet all of those things with normal food, you may consider going down the supplement route, but I just wanna make sure that your money is going to the right places. I wanna make sure that you are getting the quality that you are being told, I wanna make sure that you get the best stuff for the best results possible. So that's why I work with 1st Phorm, and it is the best thing ever. And our clients love everything. So definitely go check them out, I'll leave a link in the description as well. That way I can make sure you're taken care of, but otherwise that is it for the sponsor section of the show. Now, I cannot wait for you to get into this episode with myself and Sydnee. I know you're gonna get a lot of value out of it, and I will talk to you soon.
0:04:45.8 Jared Hamilton: So I gave a little bit of an intro already, so a lot of people like... I gave my little mini-Jared synopsis, but before we get into all this stuff, give a little bit of background on who you are and your story, 'cause everyone knows that you are the newest edition to the coaching staff, and things are going super well, but give a little bit of a background on who Sydnee is and what got you kind of into this realm and all that kind of stuff.
0:05:08.7 Sydnee Coombe: Absolutely. So like Jared said, my name is Sydnee. I live in Arizona, I have three kids, and I, in addition to coaching, work at an orthodontist office. My whole story and journey kinda started... I was always kinda the bigger kid. I developed a lot quicker than most people, and so I became very self-conscious about that, I remember my mom dieted a lot, and we always knew when she was on a diet because she was miserable and our pantry was empty and had nothing. [laughter] And I remember, I was thinking about that this morning actually, that I remember when my mom would be on a diet and I was like, "Mom, if you were to die tomorrow, you were gonna be so sad that you didn't have the piece of cake tonight. Why are you gonna be miserable your whole life?" So that's kind of what I grew up around. I tried lots of crash diets, South Beach, I did like the Hollywood Miracle diet, "Drink this juice for two days and you'll lose 10 pounds". I did just not eating, all kinds of things.
0:06:21.9 Sydnee Coombe: And then in high school, I was a lot more active, I started dancing, and I just kind of finished maturing and I lost a lot of weight naturally, but then after getting married, I gained a ton back.
0:06:37.1 Jared Hamilton: Oh, really?
0:06:38.4 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah, after I had my first son or... Sorry. Yes, after I had my first son, I was almost 300 pounds. [chuckle]
0:06:47.7 Jared Hamilton: Wow.
0:06:48.1 Sydnee Coombe: And so, yeah, and then I didn't lose a ton after that, I had my other daughter, and then we had an office weight loss competition, which I don't recommend, but it ended up working in my benefit because the worse everyone else did, the harder I pushed myself 'cause I was like, "Well, then I'm not just gonna win by default, I'm gonna just crush all you."
0:07:14.1 Jared Hamilton: I love that so much.
0:07:14.3 Sydnee Coombe: And I lost almost 80 pounds that year. Yeah. [laughter]
0:07:18.7 Jared Hamilton: I am all about like...
0:07:18.8 Sydnee Coombe: Like two days in, they're like... [laughter]
0:07:20.8 Jared Hamilton: I would have spanked all of you. [laughter]
0:07:23.1 Sydnee Coombe: Yes, yes.
0:07:24.6 Jared Hamilton: I love it.
0:07:24.7 Sydnee Coombe: Two days in, they're like, "Yeah. We're kind of just done." And I'm like, "Alright, I'm gonna keep going." My boss bought us the subscription to Beachbody on Demand, and so that's kind of where I started, was getting that movement in because for me it was easier to add that in than to like take away the food. And so that's kind of where I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna start exercising, moving my body until I like it. And then once I'm comfortable with that to where if I don't do it, I miss it, then let's start attacking the food." And when I was doing that, I just restricted my calories, was barely eating like 1100 calories maybe, and just miserable all day, and then I'd get home and just binge, because I was so hungry, underfueling. And then I was introduced to macros and I was like, "Holy crap, you're telling me that I can eat anything I want, if I stay within this calorie range?"
0:08:22.2 Jared Hamilton: That's amazing.
0:08:24.5 Sydnee Coombe: And it was awesome. And one of my favorite things is like the shock factor of, "Yeah, I'm on a diet, but I'm also eating a Snickers bar," and they're like, "What?"
0:08:33.6 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. There's no way.
0:08:34.9 Sydnee Coombe: People get so... Like, "That's not possible." But it totally is, you know.
0:08:40.2 Jared Hamilton: Sure.
0:08:41.5 Sydnee Coombe: But I think that there's really that fine balance, because when I did count macros, I kind of fell on the other end of crazy to where I would eat spoonfuls of coconut oil if I needed to get a couple more grams of fat, but nothing else in. So that became super, super restrictive, 'cause I would not allow myself to eat anything unless I weighed it, unless I tracked it, which was totally the other side of the mental part where I took it way too far. And so by following you and a few others and learning and studying, that's where I'm like, "Alright, let's track protein, let's track calories, we're golden."
0:09:21.6 Jared Hamilton: Did you ever think looking back like you would go from 300 pounds, trendy diet or restrictive as fuck, crazy, crazy person around weight loss to now coach helping people heal the exact same thing you struggled with? Did you ever think that would happen?
0:09:38.9 Sydnee Coombe: Initially, no. I never thought, weight loss always seemed like this impossible thing, my parents both still struggle with it, and a lot of people in my family struggle with it, and so it just always seemed like impossible because you can't stick to these fad diets. Who wants to live their life like that? And so really learning that tracking and moving was just so eye-opening for me. I don't like to admit this, but there were days where a Halo Top ice cream, I would eat the whole pint of that crap because, "If they're within my calories, so why not?" And I still lost weight. But yeah, it's been a very, very good transition, and I think about a year ago, I was like, "I totally could do this and help other people and just be able to share my story and do the same thing for others." I did it on my own and I would have been able to do it a lot quicker and learn a lot sooner had I hired a coach and worked with somebody, but I just jumped in the trenches and figured it out.
0:10:44.7 Jared Hamilton: I love it, I love it. And that's the thing, is I think there's a level of relatability that not a lot of people can have, that's why I wanted to do the podcast today on talking about a, basically a busy mom's guide to weight loss, because I can say all the things, but I'm not a busy mom, I'm a busy Jared, but it's different, I don't... My kids, I can throw in a cage or give a full bowl of food and leave the house for six hours. It's a different gambit, but for someone who's in the trenches with that on the day-to-day, but then also from the experience of, you've been there, you've been 300 pounds, you've been on both sides of the equation where you're struggling over eating, binge eating the whole nine yards, but then also found fitness, found weight loss, found numbers, and then went almost too compulsive on that side. And I feel like that's where most people fall, either they're like a slave to the food scale, a slave to calories, or they're slave to binge-eating, and it's like, "Where is this middle ground?" And on top of it, trying to juggle mom life, and kid life, and spouse life, and social life.
0:11:47.5 Jared Hamilton: So, I'm curious, so from your perspective, where do people go wrong? Where do... You see most moms who are busy crazy with their day-to-day with all the other mom responsibilities, but they're like, "Fuck, I have to get my shit in check." Where do you see most people go wrong?
0:12:03.9 Sydnee Coombe: I think a lot of moms in particular have a lot of that mom guilt, so they give all of their time to their kids and their family, and they don't carve that specific time for them. But if as a mom, if you don't take that time for yourself, you're gonna run out of things to even give. If you just keep giving from your bucket, but not filling your own, you're gonna run out and not be able to fill others, and so that was something that I definitely struggled with at first, was taking that hour away from my kids, or husband or whatever, and using it to work out. At first, I felt really selfish, and I was like, "No, this is what I need to do. This is something that helps me be healthy, so I can be around longer." And so I think that's the number one thing, is just letting go of that mom guilt.
0:12:57.8 Jared Hamilton: How did you... So I'm curious, was it just for you a logical thing where you were like, "Okay, mom guilt... This doesn't logically make sense. I cannot be helpful if I'm not taking care of... " And poof, the guilt went away? Or was it a slow kind of thing? Was it like a friend of yours said like, "Hey, you go take care of yourself?" How did you get rid of the guilt?
0:13:18.4 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah. So we actually had with my orthodontist office a consultant come in and he's all about kind of switching those false beliefs that you have, and so that's kind of where my mindset transformation would come, I think, or started. He's awesome, his name's Dino Watt, but... I think that that's kind of where I learned like, "Okay, it's okay to stand up for yourself, it's okay to take that time," and it took a lot of self-talk to remind myself like, "This is what's best for your family in the long run, you have to take care of yourself." But that's kinda where it first started and the light bulb started going off.
0:14:00.9 Jared Hamilton: Got it. I think 'cause that's the thing, I was just speaking with someone actually this afternoon, someone from one of the last webinars or whatever, won a call with me, and she got really emotional because she was feeling just the guilt around all of this with... It sounds like maybe some mom guilt, but then also the guilt of just struggling and it's like, "I shouldn't struggle, I'm doing all of the things." And then I basically looked at her in the face via Zoom and I'm like, "Hey, you had someone teaching you the equivalent of 2 plus 2 is 17. It's not your fault you're struggling, diet culture has taught you wrong, so you’re hanging on to this guilt is not serving you." I think that's a piece not enough talked about, myself included, on this guilt piece within the weight loss as like this cloud that kind of haunts you.
0:14:48.8 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah. Yeah, that guilt and shame for sure can eat your life.
0:14:52.4 Jared Hamilton: Is there any other things that you've seen that can really help with the guilt side of things, especially from the mom perspective? 'Cause that's the one that I hear the most is most moms, even on the phone, will tell me that they feel so bad for the 45 minutes going to the gym or they feel bad prioritizing them, or fuck, even journaling for five minutes in the morning, they're like, "No, that's time I should be spending with my kids." But for you, is it just a logical thing? Is it like, "Hey no, you cannot help if you are not good?" Or is there anything else along those lines?
0:15:25.4 Sydnee Coombe: For me, I think it's mainly logical, but just recognizing that I can show up as a better mom, better partner, better friend for everybody if I take that time for myself. And so I can do way more and be way more patient and kinder to my kids, and really the time that I do have with them, it's just a better experience versus when I'm tired, run down, not healthy. And then I have that other guilt of "I should be doing this, I should be doing that." When you're should-ing all over yourself. But...
0:16:01.6 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.
0:16:04.5 Sydnee Coombe: Can't do that. [laughter]
0:16:05.5 Jared Hamilton: Well, most people are in the game they can't win. If you take time for yourself, you're a selfish fuck, but then if you don't take time for yourself, now you're bringing a shitty version of you or a 10% version of you to your kids in life and work and job and everything, and then you feel guilty for that. I think most people, but moms specifically, almost paint themselves into a corner where they can't win, it's no matter which outcome they lose.
0:16:31.7 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah. And I think so much of it too is with social media nowadays, there's just so much judgment, it doesn't matter what you do, you're gonna be wrong to somebody, so you might as well figure out your plan, stick with it and do what's best for you.
0:16:46.9 Jared Hamilton: Well, I think, kind of along those lines, I think there's a lot of comparison in the world of social media with moms seeing these fitspo moms, and on Instagram it looks like they have their life together. And then in reality, it's like, "No, no, that camera shuts off and there's a kid with duct tape on his mouth," they're like, "Okay, you can let the kid... You can bring the rest of the kids out of the other room, and the dog, send the dog back in and 10 minutes later the house is a wreck." You ever see those clips on TikTok or Instagram of the person... It's like a compilation of their whole day-to-day, and half of it's like they're cleaning their house every day, their sheets are ironed on to the bed, the perfect corners and the perfect routine. And I'm sitting there thinking... They're sprinkling cologne or perfume on the bed, there...
0:17:33.3 Jared Hamilton: And everything, it looks perfect. Every time I go to do it, I see those and I'm like, "I wanna do one of these." And be like, no one does this. I don't know a single person, and I have a big network of a lot of really high-achieving humans, and I don't know a single person who does anything like that, and I would bet if you follow those people around for a day in their life, they do that for a TikTok video. And then the rest of the week, their house is a fucking mess, but I think a lot of people look at social and they think, "Fuck, how does Jane Doe have it all together?" And when it just isn't true.
0:18:06.3 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah, well, and I think that the moms that you see like that on TikTok, you're right, they're either like that, or they have help, they have nannies that they've hired, they have cleaners that they've hired...
0:18:17.0 Jared Hamilton: Chefs... [laughter]
0:18:18.1 Sydnee Coombe: I don't have that crap, you know.
0:18:20.8 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, sure.
0:18:22.1 Sydnee Coombe: It's just us. [laughter] So keep that in mind too. That not everyone is doing it. They're not the only person doing it.
0:18:30.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, no doubt. Well, and that's the thing is I think also a lot of people, just in general, in the fitness space and weight loss space, a lot of people don't realize... Let's say from a photo standpoint, a lot of people don't realize that… I had a buddy actually a guy, not a super close friend by any means, but a guy that I met online, an acquaintance, he was another coach, he would go do like a bodybuilding prep really, really hard for one show or one photo shoot, take 700 pictures, and that's his Instagram feed for the next three years and everyone thinks he looks like that all year round.
0:19:01.5 Jared Hamilton: And that... But that happens across the board. We see all these moms and these people and these transformations, and a lot of people think like, How can I just be like her? And it's the fitspo mom, but no one realizes she doesn't look like that all year round, that her house isn't that clean all year round, and it's just putting a false standard that isn't appropriate. You know what I mean?
0:19:20.5 Sydnee Coombe: Yep, nope, for sure, for sure.
0:19:23.0 Jared Hamilton: So how would you suggest moms can get kind of tactical... Let's say a mom is in that place of like, I either entrapped by the skate food scale, I am either trapped by the macros and everything being perfect, or I am a binge-eating shit storm. So where do I even start? How does someone's free, from your perspective, start getting structure and clarity around all of this...
0:19:44.5 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah, I think number one like recognizing that that's what's going on, right? Don't live in this ignorance's bliss state, and then decide for yourself that you wanna show up for yourself and make that change, and it takes a lot of that self-talk and reminding your brain like this is okay. Consistency is better than perfection, and I think over time, you prove it to yourself that you can just be consistent, not perfect, and still get results.
0:20:17.8 Sydnee Coombe: But I think talking to people, hiring a coach, if you need to, those are the things to have that support to have someone to bounce ideas off and really just go through, if you're following a bunch of fitness people or coaches or whatever on Instagram, going through and cleaning up your feed, and the people that make you feel like garbage because their life is perfect. Why are you following them? Like don't compare yourself to people like that. I went through and cleaned up a lot because I'm like, I don't like what they're saying, like It doesn't resonate with me, it doesn't go along with my goals...
0:20:52.0 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, no, that's good. I still do that, I'll still be scrolling like. How the fuck did I follow this person? Or their messaging changes. That's the thing, is a lot of times, coaches messaging, it changes completely. I had a message the other day, someone did that to me, they're like, they liked what I posted three years ago, and they don't like the content I post now, and I'm like, Okay, respect bye... We're not a plane, we don't have to announce our departure, but...
0:21:13.2 Sydnee Coombe: Exactly.
0:21:15.5 Jared Hamilton: But I think... I think that's a big one. I think also simplifying is a big piece like the fact that I think most... This is not just a mom thing, but this is everyone in general. I think most people overestimate what they have to do and it's why they feel like they need to be tracking all the macros, doing all the workouts, having the perfect morning routine, doing all the classes, all the yoga, all the... Whatever. And I think we just need to take a step back, you know?
0:21:39.2 Sydnee Coombe: Yes, just start off with those small habits, right? You don't need to go from never doing anything, never tracking a calorie in your life to like tracking every single calorie, every single step. Yeah. Let's take baby steps. And like I said, for me, it was easier to add that like movement in than to break up with the food because that was gonna be a bigger battle for me and I knew it, and so just kind of going through and evaluating yourself and being honest with yourself there's no wrong or right answer. It just is. And that's okay. And as long as you're doing something to move forward then that's what you need to do.
0:22:20.3 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, then you're good. I think that's huge. Back when you were starting, that it was... Because you knew that the food stuff was gonna be a way bigger hurdle so you said, I'm just gonna start with movement Because it was... Yeah, at that time, it was, what's the most sustainable logical step that you can execute on, right? And I think if most people looked at everything through that lens, most struggles would start to go away, but most people don't do that. They go, Well, Karen lost weight on the 21-Day Fix, or Sarah lost 30 pounds in 30 days at the weight loss office challenge. So I think I should do that versus a lot of people, if they go, What just has the least amount of friction?
0:22:56.2 Jared Hamilton: That's one of the like... One of the things that we talk about in coaching a lot is like if you had this big Venn diagram of like that you used two circles intersecting where it's like, what has the greatest ROI but the least amount of friction, right? So back in the day of Sydnee for you, that was just walking, right? That did a shit ton of... Made a shit ton of progress, but it was also like almost easy versus like food may have had a bigger ROI, but it had the least amount of friction was not there, but asking yourself what has the greatest ROI, but the least amount of friction, and that's gonna be different for every person.
0:23:31.1 Sydnee Coombe: Yep, for sure. It's so individual, and I think that's the other thing too, is like, just stay in your lane. Don't let that extra noise that you're hearing like sway you one way or the other, make your decision and do it if you need help, go ahead and ask for help, but you're gonna get so much unsolicited weight loss advice, and most of it is crap.
0:23:50.7 Jared Hamilton: Yep, yeah, I always tell people, mind your fucking business. That's one of the things I used to post about more, and I said, Unless you're paying their bills, walking their dog and feeding their family, their weight loss journey is none of your fucking business whatsoever.
0:24:06.1 Sydnee Coombe: Exactly, well, and everyone's a different person... Everyone's genetics are different. You are not Sally down the street, you are who you are. And so instead of just sitting and wishing that you looked like Sally down the street, like embrace your own self and your own body and learn to love yourself, because that's how you're ultimately gonna have the most success.
0:24:27.7 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, I mean, sustainability is different for everybody, not just like... I mean, every piece of this is totally N of 1, right? It's what's sustainable for one person like is... What's ROI positive for you is gonna be different... What's different a ROI positive for Jane versus genetics versus lifestyle. You know what I mean? Like for some person that's already walking like let's say someone is a mailman. Well, walking may not be ROI positive because they already do it every fucking day. For them, it may be, well, what do I eat in my lunch every day? Or maybe I shouldn't have three whoppers or three Big Macs every day with a large Coke, maybe that would be... Switching to a diet coke, maybe more ROI positive for Jane the mail carrier because she already walks a million steps a day. But this is why I think everyone needs to just mind their fucking business and stay in their own lane and look at them their own selves.
0:25:19.1 Sydnee Coombe: For sure, for sure.
0:25:21.2 Jared Hamilton: Now, as far as, let's say going a step past that, like if someone's like, Okay, I think I want to start moving. Where do you think people should start? Should we dive into strength training? Should we dive into walking, a little bit of both, where are your thoughts on that for moms that are like, Okay, my day is busy, I still do crazy amounts of stuff with kids, I don't even know where to start with movement... Where would you start most people?
0:25:42.2 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah, so strength training, for sure is awesome, if you can't get to the gym, there's awesome things on Amazon that are relatively cheap that you can bring to your house, but if you're not even interested in strength training, I mean, let's do something... Something's gonna be better than nothing, but realize that you're only gonna be able to progress so far if you only stick with this, if you only stick with walking... Right?
0:26:07.4 Jared Hamilton: Yeah.
0:26:09.5 Sydnee Coombe: And so... And that's fine, if that's where you wanna stay, but if you wanna actually change your body, it's gonna be a combination of that strength training and dieting.
0:26:19.1 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, totally. Now, 'cause you started with walking and then you progressed. How did that... How was that transition for you? Did you go from walking back in the day and then right into the gym, or did you go at home or how did that go out for you...
0:26:30.2 Sydnee Coombe: Yep, so I did like walking first, and then I got that subscription to Beachbody on Demand, and I did like their PiYo, Pilates yoga or something. And then one of the other strength training, so then once I started lifting at home a little bit and I realized like, Okay, I can do more than this. Then that's when I bit the bullet, got a gym membership, and it was so uncomfortable at first 'cause I had no idea what I was doing, I'd like make up crap on the fly, and I did that for almost a year, and then COVID hit.
0:27:04.5 Sydnee Coombe: And I ended up actually during COVID having a miscarriage, and so that was really, really hard to recover from, but I had another baby, so we are very, very blessed... But like even I started at Planet Fitness and then I realized that that's kind of where I outgrew that. And so I moved to the next gym and I always remember feeling intimidated, even though I'd been going to the gym for a year, going to the next gym, I felt intimidated, and there's still days I show up and feel a little bit intimidated, but the important thing is that you just... You just keep showing up and realize that people in the gym don't care what you're doing, they're just looking at their muscles in the mirror, promise.
0:27:46.2 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. I mean, hell the last gym I went to before that... The one I go to now, it was a powerlifting gym, I was over... I remember I was doing like a bent over row and there's a gentleman on the deadlift platform, and I overheard him, he says, “Yeah, I'm getting ready for Worlds next year. So it's a light day.” Motherfucker had 600 pounds on the bar, and was ripping it off the ground like it was effortless, and there I am with my 50-pound dumbbells doing bent over rows.
0:28:14.4 Jared Hamilton: And in that moment, I'm like, Fuck, I don't want him to look over here and look at me doing my bullshit when he's lifting that, but you know what? But even in that moment, he doesn't give a fuck what I'm doing, he's worried about his 600-pound bar and his World's event, he doesn't care about this dude over here, he doesn't even know his name, but I think the big takeaway everyone listening needs to hear with your story about how you progressed is it wasn't perfect and it was... What was appropriate in that moment, 'cause let me ask you this, when you were at your heaviest and you started walking and if someone said no, the only way to make progress is go to a commercial gym, would you have gone to a commercial gym in that moment?
0:28:51.3 Sydnee Coombe: No. There's no way.
0:28:53.0 Jared Hamilton: Right, so I think that the big takeaway for people listening isn't to just mimic what you did like, Okay, Sydnee walked, then she did at home programs, then she went to the gym. It's like, no, no, no. Right now, what has the biggest ROI and the least amount of friction, what can you do? That's like the easiest first step, because like you said, you wouldn't have gone straight from you at your heaviest to the gym. When I first started back when I was like a teenager, ironically, I started with Beachbody as well, I wanted to look like the P90X guys.
0:29:24.4 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah.
0:29:24.8 Jared Hamilton: So I bought P90X and I ran the entire 12-week program and got pretty okay results, and then I was personally still so intimidated to go to the gym that I took duct tape 'cause you got like a booklet, it wasn't just like the DVDs, it was like a booklet, I took duct tape and covered the cover of the P90X book, and then I would sneakily, go into the gym and open my book and like, Okay, they said do push-ups, I'm gonna do a chest press, cool. And they'd be like, bend overhead press bend, and I'll do a dumbbell overhead press, so I would just still went to the gym, I was still intimidated, but I was embarrassed even, I didn't even know when I was looking at a P90X book, so I covered it and I was going through it like that, and then one thing led to another, then I got more comfortable like exposure therapy is a thing for those listening...
0:30:10.4 Sydnee Coombe: For sure.
0:30:11.6 Jared Hamilton: I think the biggest piece of this though, is to just do what's practical for you, and then you will evolve inevitably from there...
0:30:18.1 Sydnee Coombe: Absolutely. Absolutely, you'll get more... More and more comfortable with whatever you're doing and you'll feel it when you're ready for that next... You'll know when you're ready, you'll feel like, Okay, I've kind of outgrown this... What's the next step? And I think a lot of people too, I was intimidated by the gym because I thought I had to go to the gym and just do cardio and beat myself up. I didn't even consider strength training as an option. And so you don't have to go do cardio and beat yourself up on the treadmill.
0:30:46.0 Jared Hamilton: Right, right, yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. Well, I think it's one of those things that I think a lot of people have these unrealistic expectations out of the gate, but I think they also have this... I'm just gonna say an ignorant view on how to go about this, and I don't mean that in a judgmental way, I'm meaning it as a lot of people's information is just wrong like... Excuse me, if someone's kid, if your kid was taught two plus two is 17, it's not their fault, they struggle with math, but most people, even though it's 2023, I still feel like they have to do cardio to burn fat, they shouldn't... Women shouldn't touch weights or they'll look like Mr. Olympia, that carb store fat, the fact that it's 2023 and those things are still prevalent, just boggles my mind.
0:31:27.8 Sydnee Coombe: It's crazy.
0:31:28.3 Jared Hamilton: But the fact that... I think we just need to get into the culture of what's a positive first step and what's... Okay, I did that for a long time. What's a positive next step, and then so on.
0:31:39.2 Sydnee Coombe: Yep.
0:31:40.3 Jared Hamilton: So for you let's talk about a little bit... Kinda transition this conversation a little bit to like the harder mom days, because I always say, we all talk about this inside coaching that you just raise your floor, your best days are already good enough like on a... What I would call a good day is like you're doing the stuff, the kids are behaving, you're eating right, you're moving, you're doing all the things, so I'm less concerned about someone's best day getting better.
0:32:03.7 Jared Hamilton: But just with the women in my life, the moms in my life, like a bad mom day... I don't know how you all do it like it's ridiculous. When all the kids are being terrorists, the TV's getting broken and the dog shitting on the floor, things are going left and right, bills are pulling, food isn't made like, that's a lot. So how would you suggest moms navigate their goals on those days...
0:32:28.1 Sydnee Coombe: Well, that whole scenario minus the TV getting broken literally happened right before Christmas, I got off work early, I'm like, we're gonna have a killer night, I'm gonna go home and make a delicious meal, I walk in, my dog in the kennel had barfed and pooped everywhere and was covered in it. And I'm like, alright. So get him off me. And so I think just allowing yourself to adapt really just like giving yourself permission that, Okay, this is the goal, we're gonna aim for this beautiful, perfect meal, but then you walk in and crap hits the fan, it's okay to...
0:33:03.4 Jared Hamilton: Literally.
0:33:05.7 Sydnee Coombe: Yes.
0:33:06.6 Jared Hamilton: Literally.
0:33:06.9 Sydnee Coombe: To adapt and make those changes as necessary... Right? We obviously have this... The best that we wanna do, but it's okay because sometimes your best might be here, and that's what, you know... Sorry, I lost my train of thought.
0:33:20.9 Jared Hamilton: No, you're good. You're good. Well, 'cause like I think that... I think that's such an important point to mention is being able to adapt to that because waving your perfectionism, all-or-nothing flag, when you walk in and there's dog shit on the ceiling and the kids are overflowed the bathtub and husband's asleep on the couch and it's like, fat loss is probably the last thing you're thinking about, then how and how to adapt that.
0:33:43.1 Sydnee Coombe: But I think also for me, one thing that helped me realize is that one day isn't gonna make or break, right? If we have to fall off of... Off of the plan for one day or just segway over because of we've gotta deal with this immediate situation, just get back on track. And find the time that works for you if you finish all... If you get through the chaos and it's the end of the day and you still haven't worked out, just something is better than nothing, and sometimes nothing is okay, sometimes that nothing is better, it's better to go to sleep, you know, and go get rest. There's nothing wrong, just the important thing is to remember to just get back on track and just keep going.
0:34:26.3 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, no, absolutely, I think... An Ed Mylett quote is like... “Just don't quit for just one more day,” 'cause I think that's when people fall off, right? That's when people are like, “Fuck it. This isn't working. It's not worth it. There's no way this is gonna work.” I get you're frustrated, but don't throw in the towel until like for one more day, and then the next day it'll be better. And if it's not better, don't quit for one more day.
0:34:47.9 Jared Hamilton: I think a lot of times we look at things through the lens of the terrible days and we think like life is just gonna be like that, but there's always dawn after night, right? There's always going to be a better day. Winter doesn't come after a winter again, there's always spring, right around the corner. But I think too many people let... I think it goes back to a context thing and a lot of people think truly that that one day absolutely ruined their goals, that it ruined everything but if you take a picture at... Like when you got off work that night. Took a progress picture and then woke up the next day, took another one. You look the exact same. Like nothing bad happened.
0:35:26.8 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah, well, and I think if you also put into perspective when you're with your kids, when you first have a baby, you're gonna have days with that baby where you're like, this is the worst day, it's never gonna get better, and then all of a sudden, that baby gets a little bit like he just keeps doing what he's doing, and it gets a little bit easier and a little bit easier and a little bit easier, that terrible day doesn't last forever.
0:35:47.6 Jared Hamilton: Sure.
0:35:48.5 Sydnee Coombe: Everyone grows. Everyone gets better. So you just gotta keep going.
0:35:53.4 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, I think a lot of people... And I'd love if you touch on this a little bit like I think people forget to control just whatever is in their control. 'cause let's say... Let's say, someone has a string of bad days, let's say the kid is going through some medical stuff, or let's say it's the kids going through medical stuff, overtime at work, husbands overtime at work too... Just all the crazy stuff, the dog's sick, it's just like life is just beating someone up. I think a lot of people still forget how much they can keep their head above the water when even if you just stop when you're... It's something like, stop when you're full, still drinking water. Choosing not to say, fuck it and just go ham on the pantry. I think a lot of people forget how much progress they can make with just controlling the one or two things that are still in the pocket, that are still in their control...
0:36:36.6 Sydnee Coombe: Yep, for sure. And like taking... Still working on that mental side when the stress is high, taking that time for journaling, maybe you can't get to the gym, but sit down for five minutes and just journal and get that mental diarrhea out and even if you have to go out to eat or whatever, just consciously make a better choice.
0:36:58.1 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, absolutely.
0:37:00.8 Sydnee Coombe: If you're not able to cook at home or whatever, let's get a protein, let's get a plan and let's have something fun, but... It's okay, it's okay.
0:37:11.0 Jared Hamilton: I think a really big theme with... That's coming out in this conversation is it's just like, I think we just need to drop so much of the pressure. I think a lot of the moms I talk to and that we see inside the coaching program in the community. And just the stories that we're thinking about when we're describing these situations, it just... I think there's too much pressure and too much expectation. I think it's like...
0:37:31.6 Sydnee Coombe: For sure.
0:37:33.3 Jared Hamilton: I think that's sort of the average human, let alone all the super moms, you know what I mean? The busy mom that's juggling everything that feels like she can't keep up. I think that this whole pressure conversation is there for the average person that doesn't have all the stress in life, but I think a big piece of this is we have to just take a step back. Let loose some of the pressure, and almost lower some of these expectations which almost sounds as backwards from what's popular online right now.
0:38:01.9 Sydnee Coombe: Right, yeah. No, lowering your expectations and your standards in that way is super... It's life-changing, being able to get out of this box that you feel like you have to be in and just allowing yourself to have bad days or hard days or just allow yourself to not be perfect, because you're not going to be. [chuckle]
0:38:24.9 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. Bringing back Ed Mylett again. I was at a seminar with him teaching, and it actually was a little triggering when I first heard him say it, because I prided myself on being this. But he said, "Perfectionism is the laziest of all standards," and then every... He just let that one simmer, and everyone's like, "What?" 'Cause this was like a room of nothing but entrepreneurs and high achievers, and I'm like, "What the fuck? I work so hard to be perfect and to have everything in line." And he said "No, no, no. Perfectionism is the laziest of all standards 'cause it's the one you know you can't reach 'cause you're a human." And everyone went, "Oh, that hurt a little bit." But I think it's a big piece of this is like, is we gotta just stop striving for perfection and just striving for making progress in the most sustainable way possible. And then ironically, that's what it'll create the most success in our lives in general.
0:39:15.3 Sydnee Coombe: Right. Well, if you're a perfectionist, you're actually an im-perfectionist because all you're focused on are your shortcomings. You're not focused on your wins, you're just focusing on, "Well, what did I not do perfect?" Which is not... You need to focus on those wins, not what you did perfect.
0:39:32.9 Jared Hamilton: We talk about it a lot inside coaching that the reticular activating system and what we think about usually becomes about and our focus is so important, and I think so many people in that place, they feel like life is out to get them, and life never cuts them a break. But it's because all they're doing is focusing on what they fucked up with, so then the brain is just like, "I'm gonna show you how horrible life is gonna treat you, and anything good, I'm just gonna hide from you because you don't think it's important." And it's just... It's a huge dichotomy, so.
0:40:00.2 Sydnee Coombe: For sure, for sure. I think really intentionally thinking about your wins, it's hard. It's so much easier to think, to talk about the things that sucked in the day, right? But one thing that we don't do it as much anymore, which we need to get back on track, but we used to do as a family was to say three good things that happened every day. Because it's so much harder to think of the good and the wins, than it is to be like, "Well. Oh, my gosh. You won't even believe. I went to the gas station, yada yada... " All these terrible things that happened, but to consciously think about the three good things that happened today, so you're focused on that positive...
0:40:35.7 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. I think it's Tony Robbins that talked about it when I first heard it, that you cannot be in a grateful state and experience all the other shitty emotions, right? I know and some people might be saying that's in their frou-frou land, but honest to God, if you choose to go out of your way... It's why I have gratitude tattooed on my arm, is because if you, one, if you never operate in a grateful state, nothing will ever be enough, because your brain will... You could get a million dollars and your brain will be like, "Well, I should have got 2 million. Well, I had to pay taxes on the million so it's fucking stupid." It's like, are you kidding me right now? But when you're in a grateful state, in a truly grateful state, you in that moment cannot actually experience all the other emotions, which is really powerful, so I love that.
0:41:18.5 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah. No, that's awesome.
0:41:20.1 Jared Hamilton: What are... Are there anything else, from a tactical standpoint, that off the top of your head that the busy, crazy moms that have just all the things going on who are really trying to get in-check can implement, or where they're going wrong? Is there anything else off the top of your head that... Other than we're talking about releasing some of the pressure and expectation. We're talking about just own what's in your control and honestly, let go of what's not, starting with just one or two things that's actually doable that has not that big of a deal. It's got an ROI, like walking, but it's not this overwhelming thing. Is there anything else off the top of your head that you'd wanna add to that?
0:41:56.2 Sydnee Coombe: I think just love yourself and remind yourself why you're awesome. I'll go through at our meetings and just ask everyone, "Why are you awesome?" And it throws everyone off, but it can be the littlest thing like, "I'm awesome 'cause I didn't snooze my alarm today 50 times, right?
0:42:15.1 Jared Hamilton: There you go. There you go.
0:42:15.7 Sydnee Coombe: I got up when I was supposed to. But just remind yourself that you're doing awesome, and that you can do it, and you're limitless. You don't have... You're not defined by limitations.
0:42:28.2 Jared Hamilton: No, for sure. Well, that plays a lot of roles a little bit deeper, because our brain goes to work unconsciously to find answers to the questions we ask it, because a lot of people may sit here and listen to that and say like, "Well, that's... Well, I don't have anything. I'm not awesome." If you can't find anything, we've got some problems... You've got way bigger problems ahead than just weight loss, and we need to figure out... We need to figure out where that... I would just say, it's self-deprecating behavior, is coming from, because if we're trying to lose weight in that place, we have to fix that first because no weight loss will be enough. You know what I mean? 'cause usually the people in that place, they're like, "I'll be happy when I lose the weight. I'll love myself when I lose the 20 pounds," but you and I both know that just never happens.
0:43:12.5 Sydnee Coombe: Right. You need to love yourself with where you're at.
0:43:15.2 Jared Hamilton: Mm-hmm. It's... From your perspective, for someone who doesn't love themselves, where can someone start with that? 'Cause that by itself is its own journey.
0:43:25.9 Sydnee Coombe: Oh, for sure.
0:43:26.0 Jared Hamilton: I'm not saying we're just gonna sit here and just say, "Oh, I'm awesome," and throw some affirmations and all of a sudden my issues are gonna be resolved. But from your perspective, where do you think people can start with, who would say, "You know, Sydnee. I don't love myself, so where do I even start with that?"
0:43:40.1 Sydnee Coombe: I think just consciously looking for the things that you can love. If you don't love the size of your body, well, I have beautiful eyes, or I am a very... I am this kind of person, or people think this of me and that's what I love, and just... Consciously, it's gonna take a lot of work at first, especially if you don't feel that way, but just talk to yourself.
0:44:04.7 Jared Hamilton: Yeah. No, absolutely. It's interesting, it's interesting you say that, there is... I think it was... I can't remember which psychologist said it, he said, "You can talk to yourself, but you can't listen to yourself." 'Cause if we just listen to ourselves, "I'm a piece of shit. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy." Whatever, he said, "You can talk to yourself: 'No, I am good enough because of this. You know what? I do appreciate this about myself. You know? I do care, I do whatever.'" You just can't always listen to yourself, whatever that old voice is, never gonna let you in.
0:44:31.7 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah.
0:44:32.3 Jared Hamilton: Because I think a big reason people struggle with this conversation so much, is they think they're just body fat and muscles, right? It's because you have 40 pounds you wanna lose, you're the worst piece of shit, and you might as well... Just beyond the list of the worst people to ever live, but it's one of those things where... My favorite analogy that we talk about in coaching a lot is, if you had this, the beautiful mansion, like the mansion everyone wants but the bathroom was the color you didn't want, it's got like 17 bathrooms in it, it's like a $30 million mansion. It's a beautiful home, It's art everywhere. It's just amazing, but the basement in the very bottom was like pink, and you're like, I'm not... You know what? Burn this motherfucker to the ground. I don't want it at all, it's like that's not practical. Just because someone has 20, 30 pounds just because they don't love their body yet, or they don't love the, I should say, the way it looks yet, doesn't mean we need to just throw everything out the window, I see way too many people doing that.
0:45:27.5 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah, no, I agree. I had a thought while you were saying the foundation, and now I don't remember.
0:45:33.8 Jared Hamilton: Well, 'cause... Maybe it'll...
0:45:35.9 Sydnee Coombe: If it comes back to me, I'll just jump in. [laughter]
0:45:36.4 Jared Hamilton: Okay, just straight up interrupt me. Well, because I think a lot of people forget that, because I would get this a lot whenever I first started teaching about this kind of stuff, and people would say, “Jared, how... I can't think of any single thing I love about myself,” and I go, “okay, stop pretending you're body fat and muscle,” I go, “Do you have two eyes?” They go, “yeah,” “would you rather be a cyclops?” “Well, no.” “Okay, so are you thankful that your two eyes fucking work?” “Well, yeah,” “well, what about the fact that they're in the perfect place on your head, where if any higher they would look weird, any lower, you would have the hugest forehead, any closer you'd look weird, the fact that your eyes are in the perfect spot on your head, are you happy about that? Or do you wish you looked like an alien?” “Well, no, I guess that's good.” “Okay, cool. Do you have hair?” “Cool, how long is it?” “About to my shoulders.” “Oh, would you rather be bald, would you rather go through chemo and have all your hair lost?” “Well, no.” “Oh, so are you grateful for the aesthetic that you have hair?” “Well, yeah, I guess so.”
0:46:32.2 Jared Hamilton: “Okay, cool, what else?” I assisted... I had a coaching call for a girl one time, and she was in this situation, I go, “what's something about your appearance that you appreciate?” She's like, “I'm not gonna lie, my tits are pretty awesome.” I go, “there you fucking go.” She goes, “I don't like my belly though.” I go, “we're not talking about your belly.” What... It's okay... I think people need to realize it's okay to love yourself, but also want to work on yourself, it's why you get it fixed.
0:46:55.3 Sydnee Coombe: Oh, for sure.
0:46:57.3 Jared Hamilton: I think it's… people think those are mutually exclusive.
0:47:00.6 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah. No, I agree with that. I think you're so much more than body fat and... You're so much more than that. Body fat and bones, right?
0:47:09.8 Jared Hamilton: Right. Well, I think...
0:47:10.0 Sydnee Coombe: When you die, you don't want people to be like, Well, she was cool, but she could have lost 40 pounds, literally no one's gonna say that.
0:47:16.1 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, well, and that's the thing is I think a lot of... I think because of the stigmas in the entire culture with women specifically, they think they have to hate themselves and everything about them to change, but you don't do that with your hair, when you go get... When a woman goes and gets her hair colored or gets her haircut, she goes, I like it, I would like it a little bit better red or brown, or cut or curled, or whatever, but you don't go, I hate my fucking head, shave it all off. But that's why I've always said, if you take the same ideologies and mentalities you have in weight loss to real life, you wouldn't last 24 hours.
0:47:51.0 Sydnee Coombe: Oh, for sure, for sure.
0:47:53.1 Jared Hamilton: I think people need to realize that the tip of the iceberg with this, is learning to teach your brain to appreciate your body, even if you don't love everything about it yet, is we need to start somewhere. Maybe, you know what? I guess I am pretty stoked that I don't have a potato growing out my head, I guess I am pretty excited that I have thick, full hair, I am excited that my nose is in the perfect spot, I don't have a huge nose, I don't have a tiny nose, I have the perfect nose. Because over time, your brain will start going, oh, I thought we hated ourselves, you know what? Maybe, you know what? I guess I don't look terrible today, you know what? I actually think I look pretty good today even though I'm still trying to lose weight. And all it's doing is starting the momentum in the world of appreciating yourself more, which does profound things in the world of weight loss.
0:48:36.5 Sydnee Coombe: Absolutely. And it's always so hard and awkward at first, but it does get easier, and it just becomes routine and normal, and having those negative thoughts, you're almost like, what? It just feels so weird once you're in this good space.
0:48:52.1 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, absolutely, I think we need to... Everyone as a whole needs to do a better job of just being there for that. I think we live in a place of if, if it feels awkward, it's wrong, but the whole point is, it's supposed to feel awkward, if you're doing the same things you've always done, feeling the same emotions you've always felt, you're gonna continue to get the results, you've always got. So I think we need to really embrace the world of doing the uncomfortable things, and being okay with being uncomfortable, so.
0:49:20.0 Sydnee Coombe: Yep.
0:49:21.4 Jared Hamilton: I love it.
0:49:22.1 Sydnee Coombe: Get out of your comfort zones.
0:49:23.6 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, a hundred percent. Fuck, I can't believe it's been 45 minutes already. This is absurd.
0:49:27.7 Sydnee Coombe: Oh, jeez!
0:49:30.1 Jared Hamilton: Any final thoughts for all the busy mamas out there, when it comes to managing all of this stuff?
0:49:37.6 Sydnee Coombe: Just know you can do it, and it's okay to take time for yourself, 'cause you need it, and whatever you're doing, you're kicking ass.
0:49:45.2 Jared Hamilton: There you go, I love it. I love it, I love it. Well, we will be sure to put all Sydnee's stuff in the show notes. Do you wanna give people where they can follow you on Instagram and all that kind of stuff, or what do you think?
0:49:58.2 Sydnee Coombe: Yeah, so I'm on Instagram, it's @Sydnee_Coombe. But my names spelled all crazy, right? So that's S-Y-D-N-E-E_C-O-O-M-B-E.
0:50:14.7 Jared Hamilton: I remember the first time I'm like, is that “Coom” or” Coom-be?” What the fuck is that?
0:50:18.6 Sydnee Coombe: I know, it's a whole thing. And people always add an S at the end in their brain, so “Coombes,” “Combes…” Yeah.
0:50:25.0 Jared Hamilton: That's funny. I love it, I love it. Well, we'll put all that in the show notes. And then, for those listening, if this story resonates with you and you want to see about the possibility of working with Sydnee, because she is part of the team, definitely fill out the application link, I'll talk... I touch on that a little bit more in the exit of this interview, but there's definitely a link down there to hop on the phone with our coaching staff team to see if coaching is a good fit for you, and where this resonate, you could totally see about the possibility of working with Sydnee, so... Otherwise, everyone, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much, Sydnee for hopping on, I appreciate it.
0:50:57.9 Sydnee Coombe: Thanks for having me.
0:51:00.3 Jared Hamilton: Yeah, absolutely. Cool, I love it. I'll talk to everyone soon.
0:51:03.7 Sydnee Coombe: Bye.
0:51:05.7 Jared Hamilton: And we are back. Thank you so much for sticking around for the entire episode today, like I said, I couldn't believe it, I looked down, it'd been 45 minutes already, which is crazy, but I know if you stuck around this long, I know you got a lot of value out of this. I'm telling you, take the one or two things that we got into, pick one of them, and just run with it, because again, you don't have to be this crazy psychopath, or do unsustainable stuff just to lose weight, especially if you are a busy mom. So if all this resonated with you, do me a favor and please review the podcast and subscribe, but more importantly, will you please share this with somebody.
0:51:37.2 Jared Hamilton: Yes, the reviews are great. Yes, subscribing helps, but what really helps me the most, and helps the show and helps everyone else, is if you share this, whether that be just sending it to a friend that you thought about, like another busy mom, or if a person came to mind send that to them, or post it on your story, things like that, it means a ton. We put a lot of time, effort, energy and money into the show, and it would mean a ton if you shared it. Now, I have a lot of stuff in the description for you, if you... Like I just mentioned at the very tail-end there, if you are a busy mom and you are really struggling and you're like, Man, I would love to work with someone who, not only is knowledgeable about this stuff, about weight loss, about transformation the right way, sustainable weight loss, but who has also been there before, who has kids, who has a busy life, who gets it?
0:52:20.4 Jared Hamilton: I'm telling you, you should absolutely apply for coaching, and you can request Sydnee, I know if you listen to her on here, you've got a good idea of, the vibe of energy she is, and who she is and things like that, so be sure if that's something that's up your alley, and you wanna see about the possibility and see about what kind of options we have as far as coaching, definitely go hit the link below, and schedule your call, because before we ever coach anybody, we always have an application call, because number one, we only work with people we know we can help, and number two, we have to make sure coaching is a good fit on both sides, but if it is a good fit, because you are coming from the podcast, I like to incentivize that, because I really, really appreciate you guys here, because it's a lot to sit down and listen to like 45, 60-minute episodes, so for those who get accepted into coaching from the podcast, I'm giving away about $4,000 worth of stuff totally for free. Which is pretty dope.
0:53:07.5 Jared Hamilton: Now, if aside from coaching, if you are new here and you're like, I just don't even know where to start, I don't know anything about the right way to lose weight, I've been struggling, I don't even know where to get going with this, I have my free course down here, it's called the fat-loss checklist. You can go through it totally for free, it's a five-day email course, it's gonna make weight loss so simple for you, and really get you on the right path. You could also join my fat-loss Facebook group, because I think everyone needs a home base where you can go to to get training, to get help, to get resources and to get loved on by other people, where you are not alone, so you can go join fat-loss simplified down there as well, and there is the other links to the rest of my socials and things like that, if you're not following me on TikTok or Instagram or YouTube, the whole podcast interview is on YouTube, if you'd rather watch your episodes. But yeah, that's it. Otherwise, I appreciate you sticking around, I love you, and I will talk to you next time.
Sydnee lives in Arizona with her three kids. Growing up, she was always a bigger kid—and developed a lot faster than her peers—which made her self-conscious.
Sydnee’s mom was always dieting and, as she got older, she found herself trying many crash diets, like the South Beach Diet, Hollywood Miracle, and simply not eating.
Once she got into high school, she started dancing, finished maturing, and lost a lot of weight naturally.
Later, after getting married, Sydnee gained a ton of weight. After having her first child, she was nearly 300 lbs.
She lost about 80 lbs during an office weight loss competition. Her boss purchased a beach body on-demand subscription for the competition, so Sydnee decided to start exercising—because focusing on moving her body seemed like the easiest approach for her.
For a time, she was restricting her calories and would be so hungry by the time she got home that she ended up binging. Once she was introduced to macro-tracking, however, she came to understand that she could eat all the foods she enjoyed while still staying within calorie and macronutrient targets.
Unfortunately, Sydnee fell into being overly strict with her macros—sometimes doing things like eating a spoonful of coconut oil if she needed a few more grams of fat to hit her target.
She was weighing and tracking everything without flexibility.
Did You See Yourself Becoming a Coach?:
Initially, Sydnee did not see herself going from a fad diet follower to a fitness coach.
Weight loss always seemed like an impossible thing to her. Many of her family members still struggle with their weight. However, she now understands that those hyper-restrictive diets are neither sustainable nor enjoyable.
It was about a year ago that Sydnee realized that she could share her story and help others who are in a similar situation to the one she was in.
As a coach, Sydnee can help people navigate their transformations more effectively than she did on her own because of her knowledge and experience.
Where Busy Moms Go Wrong with Their Weight Loss:
Jared has found that many people—like Sydnee for a time—struggle to find that “middle ground” and fall into one extreme of either being a slave to binging, over-eating, etc., or a slave to calorie tracking and the food scale.
Sydnee believes that moms, in particular, struggle with mom-guilt—they spend all their time focusing on taking care of their kids and don’t take any time for themselves.
As Sydnee puts it, “if you spend all your time giving from your bucket and never take the time to refill, you’ll run out of things to give.”
Sydnee, herself, struggled at first even taking just an hour away from her kids or husband to do something for herself—and get healthier.
Dealing with Mom Guilt:
For Sydnee, her mindset transformation started when her work hired a consultant who dealt with switching false beliefs.
She learned that it was okay to take time for herself.
During this time, there was a lot of self-talk where Sydnee would remind herself that stopping and taking care of herself was best for her family—and that in the long run, she needed to take care of herself.
Jared often sees guilt haunting people as they struggle to lose weight—and recently on a call was discussing guilt and letting it go.
Sydnee mostly approaches dealing with guilt logically.
She knows that she can show up and do way more as a mom, partner, and friend, as well as be more patient and more kind when she is taking care of herself versus when she allows herself to get run down.
She has also experienced guilt over the thing she “should be doing, but isn’t,” but recognizes that telling yourself, “you should be doing X,” is just another trap.
Sydnee and Jared believe that social media also plays a role in guilt—especially when you’re looking at “fitspo moms” who, through Instagram, appear to have their lives together, when the reality is always less than perfect.
Sydnee has found that people often have help, as well—like a nanny—but that isn’t the case for herself and many other moms out.
Finding Middle Ground:
To find the middle ground between overeating/binging and being hyper-restrictive, first, Sydnee advises moms to take a moment and recognize what is actually going on—and to not live in a state of “ignorance is bliss.”
It takes a lot of self-talk and reminding yourself that consistency is better than perfection.
She also believes that finding the right support—talking to people or hiring a coach—is important to keep yourself on track.
Then, clean up your social media feeds.
If you are following a lot of people who make you feel like garbage because their life looks perfect—stop.
Sydnee has done this herself. If what someone is doing or saying doesn’t resonate with you, unfollow them.
Jared does this himself because sometimes people’s messaging changes.
He has also been unfollowed because someone may have liked his content from 3 years ago but doesn’t resonate with the message he delivers now.
Jared finds that most people overestimate what they need to do to lose weight—for example: tracking everything.
Sydnee agrees that you don’t need to go from never tracking a calorie in your life to tracking every single calorie and step.
For her, it was easier to simply add movement at first, because she recognized that food was going to be much more difficult to deal with.
Again, you need to be aware of where you are, what you’re struggling with, and what you can reasonably do to keep moving forward.
Jared finds that most people fail to approach weight loss in this logical fashion and that finding that intersection of return on investment and low friction—like Sydnee did—is not something that is often utilized.
Many people want to look at what others did, but what will get you started is highly individualized.
Sydnee believes that you need to embrace your own body and your own self, because you are not “Sally down the street,” and what works for one person may not be the solution for another.
Jared agrees that what works and is sustainable for one person won’t be the same for another, because genetics and lifestyle are different.
Getting Started with Exercise:
Sydnee likes strength training, but thinks that getting started with something simple, like walking, is better than doing nothing.
Sydnee, herself, started with walking—then started doing Beachbody on-demand, started lifting at home, and eventually got a gym membership.
She started at a Planet Fitness, but eventually outgrew it and started going to a new gym.
Going to the gym at first as well as starting at her new gym were both intimidating for her, but the important thing is to keep showing up and to realize that the other people at the gym are not focused on you.
Jared, too, has had the experience of being concerned about other people at the gym.
For example, he once was doing bent over rows and overheard someone talking about how they were, “getting ready for a Worlds event, so it was a light day.”
This person was doing 600 lb deadlifts.
Jared had the thought that he didn’t want the deadlifter to see him doing his 50 lb rows, but realized that the guy was focused on himself and his upcoming competition.
Jared believes that the big takeaway from Sydnee’s story is that, even if it wasn’t perfect, she was doing what was right for her.
If someone had told Sydnee when she was just getting started walking that she needed to go to a commercial gym to make progress, she wouldn’t have listened to them because she was doing what was right for her.
Again, you need to find the easiest first step for you and you will evolve from there.
Another example from Jared: when he was in high school, he started doing P90X—and got pretty good results—but he was very self-conscious about going to the gym and was unsure of what to do.
He covered his P90X book in duct tape and brought it to the gym to reference. If, in the book, they were doing push-ups, he would do chest presses, and things like that.
He was both intimidated and embarrassed, but over time he got more comfortable.
Sydnee believes that you will feel it when you are ready for the next step and that you don’t have to do things you don’t enjoy.
If you don’t want to just do cardio, you don’t have to go to the gym and beat yourself up on the treadmill.
Jared finds that many fitness and diet-culture myths are still extremely prevalent even in 2023—like the belief that carbs store fat or that weight lifting will make women look like Mr. Olympia… Or that you have to do cardio to burn fat.
Determining what is a positive first step and a positive next step is necessary for success.
Goals When You Have a Bad Day:
Sydnee believes that allowing yourself to adapt is necessary. You may have an ideal you want to meet, but doing the best you can every day is more important than that perfect day.
Realizing that a single day is not going to make or break your goals is also vital.
If you find yourself off-track one day, you can get right back to it.
If you have a day that is chaotic and at the end of the day you still haven’t done your workout, something is better than nothing—and sometimes nothing is okay.
You just have to get back on track and keep going.
Jared finds that oftentimes we look at things through the lens of the terrible day, but in reality, nothing bad happened. Another good day will come around.
Sydnee compares it to having a baby—some days are very difficult, but over time that baby learns and grows. When you are trying to lose weight, you just have to keep going.
Jared finds that people often lose sight of what’s in their control, especially when they have several bad days or difficult situations at once.
Sydnee agrees that just focusing on and doing what you can is important. If you can’t get to the gym, but you can journal—then do that.
If you go out to eat, make a conscious choice about what you are eating and realize it’s okay.
Jared finds that, for everyone, we need to let loose some of the pressure.
Sydnee finds that lowering your expectations and standards can be very positive if you are letting go of perfectionism.
Jared believes that we need to stop striving for perfection and strive for making progress in the most sustainable way possible.
For Sydnee, a “perfectionist” is in reality an “im-perfectionist,” because you aren’t focusing on the wins—you are only focusing on shortcomings.
She believes that you need to intentionally think about your wins because it’s harder to think of the good and the wins than it is to think about the bad.
Other Advice for Busy Moms:
Sydnee wants the moms—and people out there trying to lose weight—to simply remind yourself that you're awesome and that you CAN do it.
She likes to ask her clients why they are awesome and the answer can be something as simple as “I didn’t snooze my alarm today.”
Take the time to find those little reasons and love yourself where you’re at.
If you don’t love yourself, Sydnee suggests consciously finding things you do like about yourself.
Maybe you don’t like your body, but you have beautiful eyes—or you like the way someone thinks of you.
It takes a lot of self-talk and a lot of effort.
Jared thinks that part of the reason people struggle with weight loss is that they think that they are just body fat and muscle.
If a person has 40 lbs they want to lose, they equate that to being a terrible person. But just because you have weight you want to lose—or you don’t love the way your body looks yet—doesn’t mean you need to throw everything out the window.
He finds that people forget that it’s okay to love yourself AND want to work on yourself at the same time. You need to teach your brain to love your body.
In closing, Jared and Sydnee acknowledge that it's hard—and awkward—at first to find those little things, feel different feelings, consciously appreciate yourself, and get in that good space—but getting out of your comfort zone is necessary for change.
For busy moms, specifically—know you can do it and that it’s okay to take time for yourself.
CONNECT WITH COACH SYDNEE:
‣ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sydnee_coombe
FREEBIES & SPECIAL OFFERS:
‣ Special Coaching Offer calendar link for only podcast listeners: https://calendly.com/connoryoungman_/application-call-from-the-podcast
‣ Join my free Facebook group & get all my trainings: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fatlosssimplified
‣ Get my [Free] Fat Loss Check-list Course: https://bit.ly/FatLossCheckList
‣ The best supplements for weight loss video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfjByg4Zr_Y